Folks who are married with children, how good are you at maintaining friendships, particularly with your single friends who don’t have kids?

[Chazmatazz269]

Some of you suck at it, and we’ve noticed. Ell oh ell! Come back! We miss you!
I’m a bit if a hypocrite on the matter. I’m not the best at reaching out and i’m not even married with kids! But when i do reach out, my grownup friends often find it difficult to pen me in between spousal duties and child care. Are you making time for your friends despite being married and having kids?

[SnowedIn]

@Chazmatazz269 a great question as always. Well phrased, too.

Short answer to the question in your title and the last sentence: good and yes. BUT... I'm lucky / we're lucky to have each other. We take turns going out with our friends so we go out more often. And, our youngest is almost 11 and the oldest ones can drive so it's much easier to go out.

But, to the meat of the genesis of your question. Yes, there are difficulties to doing what you used to do before you have kids. None of these are excuses or whining, just an acknowledgement of the realities of having children, at least in suburbia in the United States. Kids take an intense amount of time. It's worthwhile but it's just a lot. That time involves physical and mental effort so once your kid day is done, there's usually not a lot left in the tank to want to go out or whatever. Then, and this is a BIG mistake I see a lot of parents make: a lot of parents only want to talk about their kids. And that takes a toll on relationships. And then there's the expense piece. Babysitters should be paid well and so that's an added expense on top of what kids already are. Finally, kids end up being logistical time suckers, particularly when they get older. You spend so much time driving them that there's not much left to do other stuff with.

Again, not whining or making excuses. Kids just add several layers of complexity to relationships.

But, my wife and I have been fairly successful at maintaining friendships.

[SnowedIn]

Thanks for MHO!

[jimmy2]

After kids all move on

[Chazmatazz269]

“Move on” as in out of the house?