Hi everyone, I'm 30. And currently live with mom and brother due to forced circumstances.
So I've been sick prob bc my stomach is sensitive to spicy but I ate it anyway cause it's rarely a big problem. The next day I got sick and didn't tell my mom the probable reason cause I know she'd be histerical, but yesterday I told her anyway and my guess was right. She went histerical yelling at me non stop even if I beg her to stop. So at the end I got tired and stop talking to her.
This morning I woke up with fever etc she knew it, I told her I could take care my self cause I'm mad about yesterday. She got mad and I burst out. I told her she shouldn't yell at me that way. And all she said was I was selfish expecting no one could yell at me. I told her everything how I felt.
When I was a 6 years old I always suspected she loved my brother more *typical Asian family*, and instead of assuring me she gave me silent treatment for a week & told me to take care of my self until I apologized to her. And growing up there was many time I got upset over her favoring my brother but always we ended up fighting cause she told me I was ungrateful, selfish and it's all in my head.
And last year, after my dad passed my brother kicked me out of family house and she just let it happened. So i kinda have deeply rooted trauma. And I told her how she treated me and always blame my feeling. I told her "fine it's all my fault, she's the best mom and i'm the idiot. I hate her." And put my headset on.
And ever since that not even once she checked on me, and gave silent treatment as usual.
Just 2 weeks ago she admitted she was wrong handling my tantrum when I was kid, but now the same problem rise up. I just wish she said sorry and validate my feeling but instead she said I should grow up and change the way I think. Maybe it's my fault being childish? Or I don't know, everytime we had argument she always said "Yes you are right and I'm the worst mother" thats why I did the same to her.
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Going through a similar thing to you with having my feelings completely dismissed and so on. Unfortunately no matter how much we want them to acknowledge what they have done and the hurt they caused they won't ever see it. I feel the best thing for you is as soon as you can find somewhere to live and cut contact or limit contact
Yes I agree unfortunately thhat will be another 3-6 months till I can leave the house again bc of work. Im just thinking like maybe am i really the asshole and selfish one here
Sounds to me like she is the stubborn one and wants to put the blame on you instead of owning up to the fact that she needs to let go of the way she was brought up and change life is to short to be stubborn and ignorant