I want to apologize to an old friend, not looking for forgiveness just explaining myself and saying sorry?

[Psyduck98]

In high school (this was years ago like 6 years ago) I had this best friend we were inseparable. She was gradating a year early due to circumstances and I only ever got to see her at lunch. But one day she didn't show up. I texted her but she didn't tell me anything. And on top of that I was already having a bad day. Which doesn't excuse what I did later when I confronted her.

I called her bitch for abandoning me. I should not have. I try apologizing soon after but she wouldn't hear of it and blocked me. I have felt bad ever since.

Should I try to reach out to her again explaining myself or move on (even though I clearly haven't)?

Also this is the message I would be sending her (names mentioned aren't are names). Let me know what you think. I could really use the advice.

"Hi Sunny, it's Bean. I hope you are doing well. I don't really expect you to reply and I know it's been a long time and I should have reached out sooner, I don't have an excuse. I am also not looking for you to forgive me. I just wanted to explain what was happening to me that day. When you ate lunch with those other girls and didn't say anything to me. I was just left alone in the corner and already having a bad day. It hurt so bad because you were my best friend and I already felt like I was losing you since you were graduating. And I was even a bit jealous because you were going to get out of your house and I was going to have to wait another year to be free. Even with those feeling though I never should have said what I said and I'm truly deeply sorry and have been for many years. I just wasn't sure how to tell you. Again I'm sorry and I hope you are doing well after all these years. "

[caring__1]

The main reasons people are reluctant to accept apologies is that people make it all about themselves or rationalize their behavior or are so vague and general that it appears they haven't the faintest idea what they're sorry for. Here's another option, if you want to send her a message. Send it in a card, with the image you posted here on the front.

Hi Sunny,

I hope you are doing well. I’ve been thinking about you a lot and remembering the special times we spent together. I regret my actions that ended our special connection. I’m not going to make excuses for my inappropriate behavior, but you didn’t deserve the diatribe I sent your way. I wish I could take those words back, but we can’t undo the past… both the negative and the positive. I hope we’ve both grown, as a result of our time together. Though I’ve been scared to reach out to you, as I don’t want to add discomfort to your life, I felt I just couldn’t keep procrastinating letting you know how sorry I am for lashing out at you with those hurtful words. I hope the dreams you shared with me have come true, or at least you’re on the path to achieving the happiness and fulfillment you deserve.

Always yours,

Bean

[Yannae]

Reach out. Even if she doesn't want to see you again, at least through this message you can let her know how you feel. That you're sorry. It is a way better apology than one I've read yesterday.

[Emanon25]

You did what you had to do but she blocked you and didn’t listen plus it’s too late now