I think I might have social anxiety. What can I do?

[Anonymous]

Well, I know GaG isn't really a platform for counseling not anything but I'm really confused with my situation.

I've recently realised that there has literally been years since I was able to actually make irl friends and nowadays it seems as if it's simply impossible for me to come off my shell, and I find myself often avoiding social interactions out of fear of judgement, etc.

I haven't felt anything too extreme as fast heart beating nor sweating, but it's still distressing.

I've reached a point where I don't know how to socialise anymore, even if there's a classmate next to me, I still won't be able to come up with anything to ask or to talk about. I've also always had trouble relating to people so I've never had many friends but yeah...

And I basically only realised that this is getting serious when I found myself spending all my break time in the toilet or the library cos these were the only peaceful places without anyone I know.

I don't know, I don't think my behaviour is normal and my tactic and social skills deteriorated so much over time. I'm scared I won't be able to pass a job interview, do networking, make friends nor have a normal life ever.

I thought about getting help but for this I'd need to tell my situation to my parents, and I don't wanna worry them. Besides, I feel embarrassed for feeling this way.

I'm aware I need to change, but it's so hard. It's as if I don't have the courage to change :(

Updates

7 mo

Hi everyone,
l just wanted to give a big shoutout and thanks to all of you who shared your awesome advice on my social anxiety post. Your support means a lot to me, and l've already learned so much from your experiences. I wish could pick more than two "most helpful" answers because you've all been incredibly helpful. Cheers to you all!

[ObscuredBeyond]

That can be a tough one. I've always had some onchlophobia and clithrophobia, which may have grown worse via gas station work.

Everything's fun and games, until a black or Mexican gang swarms the place and you're the only cashier on duty, expected to be defenseless as a condition of employment. Because you have no rights in the company's eyes, and the criminals have more rights than you do, because they fear crooked lawyers that much. The only exception is for female cashiers, who won't get fired if they're being raped and fight back. But only if they only use their fists. As soon as they get creative with scissors or what-not, it's back to the criminals have more rights.

Corporate America for you. They'd rather pay for your funeral than get sued by robbers for making the robbery inconvenient. Because ambulance chaser types don't give a diddle about your grieving family. Because the courts are also run by rotten leftist scum. Everything is perverted.

So yes, you can see why I am tempted to take a factory job in another state right now. I like being close to family, but not if the only work I can find requires me to have to have experience in crowd control with gangs and Florida Man. Knowing that any shift could be a death sentence.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

I'm pretty sure someone can understand you and can work that same issues along with you. Once you find that kind of person, you will be more encouraged to find more of them.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

And if you're worried about not having any friends in real life, Don't look for friends only to make you feel better or just for someone to be with you. You choose a friend that you can really trust, commicate and bond with or someone who you can understand each other. Choose quality over quantity and to be able to do that, you need self-love for you to be able to not worry about not having any friends at all. Since you consider yourself a friend, you can be happy of what you do not caring about what anyone else would say. Your happiness matters more then what people say.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

And once you found your happy place, you're going to be more confident as you would get to know yourself even more. You know you're not a bad person, you know you're a good friend if you're just sensitive to others, just be more self-aware.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Update: *Hugs*

[ohsheeT]

Well you just did one of the most powerful things right now by saying it out loud by posting it out in front of everybody

And you acknowledged it

To me that is power within yourself

And basically what I see or I read is your biggest fear your biggest issue is being judged

So do you know who you are do you really know who you are I'm pretty sure you do it's all right there in black and white

When a person judge is somebody else it's usually because they don't like themselves they want to create some kind of chaos in somebody else's life because they're not happy

And if you notice they only seem to come into your life for that moment just to judge you and then they move on

Gag is one of the perfect places for you to get help. excuse me help yourself

There's many questions on here each and every day

And somebody breaking down opening themselves up to ask a difficult question and you're always going to have one guy maybe two

That like to verbally abuse and beat up that person because of something they said something that came out of their heart something that they need answers for

Something serious but you will always have one or two guys that take the question twist it all around belittle the person verbally abuse them..

For their high for 2 minutes of making somebody else feel the way they feel.

Gag is the perfect place because you get numb to it you start realizing who these people are and how many times a day they do it and you getting them you say what a jackass you act just like them LOL

And if it happens more than once and twice and 3 and 10 times and whatever it's okay because you know exactly who you are you know that their words don't mean one thing to you and this is the perfect place to get that experience this is a perfect place for you to fire back stand up and fire back at them

Words to perfect place to read their words and smile and send them a message how long the doctor say you're going to have to act that way

Nobody likes to be embarrassed that's for sure but guess what it's a part of life and if you can't laugh at it if you can't hold your head up high and laugh at it then what's your life all about we're not perfect we don't want to be perfect or let me speak for myself I don't want to be perfect I want there to be screwed up so I'm not there to be messed up words thrown out there to me because that's just part of life and I know better I know different
and there is no such thing as failure. Because you can't succeed without failure there would be no succeeding in anything

When you were born you were given a gift and that gift is choice you get to choose who you want to be in life by the things that you say and do

Or by the things you don't say and by the things you don't do then you get walked on by people that don't like themselves that are on power trips and ego trips
They were just like you and they started acting just like their bullies because they think that's power that's called ignorance and stupidity and weak...

Do you want to do a social experiment

We can try for one week you have to send me a message everyday for one week two messages if you want to pertaining about anything in life

You say you don't talk to people because you don't know what to say..

According to your post you have plenty to say you just don't have anybody to say it to so I want to be that person.

I don't care what we talk about we can talk about the goofiest things in the world on the planet and if I happen to be online the same time that you're online just wait for my answer you'll find out what everything I just said is what I mean LOL but I will show you how you can communicate in the first step is

When you start talking to somebody look into their eyes listen to their words unless they say and what they don't say because what they don't say is more important than what they do say.. in 5 minutes of a conversation with you I will know everything about you whether I look into your eyes or not.

Will I judge you it's too late I already have you're a good person with a good heart and I can't take that back so there you go you've been judged so you don't have that to worry about no more

So I hope we can do this experiment I think you will get a lot out of it and who knows it just might open all kinds of doors for you.

And this is really unlikely because I have the opportunity to be a smart-ass right now and say the complete opposite of what I just said but I want to do this experiment I don't want you to run from it

In life you have to remember a couple things first of all who you are who you truly are

Second of all if nobody likes you or likes who You are that's on them that has nothing to do with you that's on them that's their loss

And when somebody sees something different than what you see that's okay that's all right that's their prerogative it doesn't mean that you're wrong and they're right it doesn't mean that you're right in the room what it means is there's two different people looking at the same picture with two different sets of eyes seeing what they see that's it it's good to listen to people maybe you might see what they see or maybe not..

And the next thing is you are the only person inside of you you own that heart you on that brain you own it all so you are the only one that can make yourself happy and sad and feel like you're being judged or not no matter if somebody does it or not you're the only person that can allow that feeling to affect you.

Like I said it doesn't matter what people say what matters is what you say and who you are and if you are the best of ever the thing you do in life that's all that matters I don't allow people to put you in that corner and not live or experience life it's time to wake up takes a couple steps forward and start living life once you accept yourself and you truly know who you are it doesn't matter what other people think or say

As long as you are being honest and being yourself was a beautiful heart that's all you can ask of yourself that's all anybody can ask of themselves if they don't want to do it that way then they have a long road to travel I know you have that shorter distance that because I can read it in your words don't travel down that road traffic

Okay so ready let's do that social experiment let me know we'll go from there

[Iron_Man]

Wow this is so long winded

[CrimsonAngel09]

"I'm aware I need to change, but it's so hard. It's as if I don't have the courage to change."

I know the feeling. You're so used to being how you are that when you change, you'll feel like a complete stranger.

I deal with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), driving anxiety, social anxiety, and it's been much worse over the past three years that I developed sensory overload. I don't like places with a lot of people, and can't stand noises like talking, music, and the clinking of silverware. You also feel like people are watching and judging you, when they most likely couldn't care less. You gotta have somebody with you, and you don't want to get up until they do. You also stare at the ground, and can't do eye contact with people.

Unfortunately it's something you would have to do therapy for, because it's EXTREMELY hard to try and get over it on your own.

[Vampire_Killing_Time]

You already took one big step which is admitting that you have a flaw that you want to work on. Now the second one, to work on it.

I feel most at ease at a place I know where I can do something I enjoy. Because that is two worries out of the way, out of mind. Not worrying about being lost, not worrying about getting bored. And what usually happens is that you feel more comfortable and more open to talking to others. If they are into what you're into, talking will make things easier.

You can also treat it as a game, smile and people will smile back. If you're also funny, strangers will open up rather fast! Ask someone for something, make up a story, people will be happy to help.

[genericname85]

if you start noticing the onset of an anxiety, expose yourself to that anxiety as much as you can while you still can. cause these things typically get worse. it's like a mental viscious circle. you start avoiding social settings so your brain figures there's a threat, so you avoid it even more and on and on and on. get off that circle while you still can.

[MysticDevice]

That is a tough one with no real easy answer. Its easy to comment when you're on the outside looking in, but not so much from the inside looking out.

There's not any one thing to be done. Small improvements here and there over time.

[KrakenAttackin]

Start by talking with your doctor. Your doctor can prescribe something to help and allow you to also seek talk therapy to find the root cause of this anxiety. There certainly are treatments for your anxiety and this is a very common issue.

[Nikki1989]

Yeah, this site will only make it worse. You need to step out of your comfort zone sooner or later.

[Anonymous]

You can't force social interactions, they have to naturally stem from shared interests or goals.

[sheenagwapa]

ask for a professional help... i'm sorry

[Anonymous]

Be my LDR girlfriend and I'll teach you.

[CrimsonAngel09]

Really dude🙄?

[Opinion Owner]

No. .

[Anonymous]

drink alcohol

[CrimsonAngel09]

Please don't give terrible advice.