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How do I cope with seeing others have what I don't or can't have?

I'm slightly autistic and epileptic and was a late bloomer. All my life, I've had to deal with seeing people get things I didn't get. In my teen and early twenties years, I had to watch others be able to make friends and get romantic partners easily.

I more or less caught up socially in my twenties, made friends more easily and got a girlfriend. I was content for a few years, and in that time, I got married. Because my peers did not have to struggle with the same things I did, and over time they got work promotions (it's more difficult for me to get promotions because it's difficult for autistics to 100% meet the neurotypical expectations of management) or their business took off. My wife has cystic ovaries so children may not be in the cards for us. These things make me discontent once more. My childhood friend who understood me migrated. I feel like I'm working too hard to get things that my peers get so easily.

I am now 36, and it's like people who have kids are on a different wavelength and I can't truly relate to them anymore. I have to see mine and my wife's nieces and nephews at family gatherings and no one has time for us except to say "watch the kid please" or "hold this for me", or "wipe the baby's mouth", or something along that line.

Even if I stay away from social media, I still have to see them in real time. I don't look forward to gatherings anymore because of this. I love my nieces and nephews but I can't help feeling resentment at the same time. I just want to be successful without having to put in twice the effort as other people.

How do I cope with seeing others have what I don't or can't have?
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