Friend treats me like a therapist?

[ephedrine]

My friend who lives in another city came to visit me and we didn't see each other quite a long time but always had facetime calls etc but I didn't notice that back then. She is a therapist and she studied for that for all of her life. So, when I was talking about myself and my life just to catch up and all, I realized that she treats me like a patient and after I noticed that it really irritated me because I was just having a friendly conversation with her. I told her to stop that. She said sorry but now I feel kinda distant to her. She said she didn't intent to make me feel that way.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh girl, I totally get why you'd be annoyed with that! When you're friends with someone, you wanna just chat and have fun catching up - not feel like you're on the couch getting analyzed.

I probably would've felt weird about it too if she suddenly started talking to me all therapist-y. Like, we get it hun, that's your job, but this is girl time! Leave the diagnoses at the door, ya know?

I don't blame you for putting some distance now either, cuz who wants to feel like their buddy sees them as just another "patient". She needs to learn to turn it off sometimes.

Maybe give it some time to air out, and then have another chat to set some boundaries for the future. Like "no therapy talk unless I specifically ask for advice". She should understand if she wants the friendship to work.

Don't stress too much though - she probably didn't mean anything bad by it. Just gotta train her what's appropriate outside the office. Y'all will be fine once you lay down the law!

[genericname85]

I mean put yourself in her position for a second. She spend years and years learning how to help people deal with shit. Would you ignore all that knowledge you have even tho you know that could be a great help for your friend? Like should she just leave you to deal with shit on your own even though she has the power to help you?

[DishLady]

To be fair, that's just her natural "mode of thinking" — when someone goes into complaint mode they just open the mental space in their mind that is trained to solve problems. It happens to me also with my "coaching mode" when a friend complains about a lifestyle or work-related issue. She's DEFINITELY not trying to offend you. She's trying to give you her best self to help you. It's a sign of genuine friendship.

[Daniela1982]

Start charging them a fee for your services is the answer.

[piano]

When a friend consistently treats you like a therapist, it can be emotionally draining and potentially blur the boundaries of your friendship. Here are some steps you can consider to address this situation:

Set Clear Boundaries: It's important to communicate your boundaries clearly and kindly. Let your friend know that while you care about them and want to support them, there are limits to the emotional support you can provide.

Encourage Professional Help: If your friend is dealing with issues that seem beyond what a friend can reasonably help with, suggest that they seek support from a professional therapist or counselor. Explain that these professionals have the training to offer more effective help.

Be Honest About Your Feelings: Share your feelings about the situation without placing blame. You might say something like, "I feel overwhelmed when we discuss these topics too often, and I worry I'm not qualified to give you the best advice."

Limit Therapy-Like Conversations: Decide how often and when you’re comfortable having deep conversations. For example, you might say that you’re available to talk about heavy topics once a week for an hour.

Focus on Reciprocity: Friendships should ideally be balanced. Encourage a two-way conversation about both your lives, rather than conversations consistently revolving around one person’s issues.

Redirect Conversations: Gently steer conversations towards less intense topics or activities that you both enjoy. This can lighten the mood and shift the pattern of your interactions.

Preserve Your Own Well-being: Ensure that you take care of your own mental health. Engaging in activities that you enjoy and seeking your own support system can help maintain your emotional resilience.

[TommyMountainFigure]

She's apologised. Let it go.

What she did, was it SO wrong? I mean it's better to make a mistake caring about you, than making a mistake by NOT caring..

[Lynx122]

It's better than friends who try to use you as a therapist when they need professional help.

[Nikki1989]

Yeah, I can see how that would be annoying.

[CriticalCatDad123]

You must give good advice. Maybe you should consider being a counselor or therapist?

[LazyDork]

Maybe her natural instinct was to try to help because she cares about you.

[DreamLife7]

Then stop acting like a needy ass patient. Sounds like you really don't have friends and I see why

[Zoi2001]

Possibly you give that vibe to your friends. Start asking for a copay.

[noohair]

Start charging money.

[KrakenAttackin]

So, what is the question?