Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
I have a sister who is married she is 57 ( no kids) Her husband is a family judge and ears good money, my sister does nto earn as much as him but she has a salary. Of course as a husband and wife they have their house and personal expenses. But still they both enjoy socializing , they travel each year overseas, they pay a diet plan (those are pricey) and they fo coruse sher house utilities and othre house expenses but yet my sister does not pitch in to help with some things for our mom. My mom is an elder person aand me and my brother take care of her at home. Our dad passed away 10 years ago, so now my mom support are my brother and me. My mom receives a monthly pension for the house expenses of course.
Anyway my sister always tell me and my brother thatn when it is health related issues for mom, we can't be picky, we pay for what we have to pay. In regards of that. My brother and I manage a savings accoutn for mom for extra expenses for mom (this is different than my mom pension). SO my sister is aware of this money and because of that if my mom lets say for example will ned some treatment, or we need to buy her things for her, my sister say we have to take money from this savings account. But my sister even if it is a expense for mom, my sister does not help one bit in at least helping with some money if we need to buy mom something. She says that is what the savings account is for. But hey at some point wwe can ran out of these savings but my sister never help at least with something financially so the burden can be at least shared by 3 not just one.
Some say my sister is not in the obligation to help if the money we have is my mom money. I mean regardless if my mom has money to afford certain things, common she is her daughter she could pitch in in something and help if needed.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Your sister is under zero obligation to help at all in any form with your mom. I understand the moral aspect of the question and I feel your angst in this as I had a useless sibling who only took when my parents need help as their health each took a sudden nose dive. Regardless, even with my parents begging him to come help he never did - they did not remotely need money. Just someone there is all. Anyway, there was no compelling them and as far as I am concerned today, I am an only child and they can go fuck themselves. Again, there is no forcing them or guilting them into helping. You are on your own.
Well your case is different I see you did not get along well wuth your family not my case. Different families and my sister is not useless like your sibling. I can't compare your case with mine.
You miss my entire point. You two can be peas in a pod and still your sister is under zero obligation to so much as lift a finger to help with your mother’s care. You cannot even compel her through the courts. She might have money, but she doesn’t have to share it. Not even with your mom. That is my point. I know you dislike that she isn’t helping with the financial burden, but there is zero you can do to force her to do so. This is a moral dilemma and nothing more.
Well I known siblings who helped theri mother out of love and respect even if theyu have money.
Yes. Me too.
This made me feel so badly for you. You seem like a very nice person from the way you write (notably nice-seeming).
What you wrote here is non-controversial. Your sister is neglecting in her duty to contribute her share towards taking care of your mom. Inexcusably.
Sometimes my answers are long. This one can't be. It's clear. You're right. Your sister is wrong.
You should talk to her about needing to pay her share. What she is doing is wrong.
Good luck
🙂
Some say my sister has zero obligation to help
How does that argument go? (I'm genuinely curious how anyone tried to make that case. Maybe there's something I'm not seeing)
nevermind, I think it's the other guy here. I can read what he says.
Oh, I just disagree with that view. Completely. It all hinges on the moral aspect of the question.
I think it's self-evident, that you and your sister have the same moral duty towards your parents. (if you don't think so, please explain why not)
In practice, in our wonderful capitalist society, that "duty" towards your parents, comes down to cold-hard cash.
If healthcare for your mom costs money, then each of your mother's children has an equal financial obligation to contribute their equal share. The financial obligation is the expression of the moral obligation (in this case, again because it costs money to care for your elderly mother's health and well-being).
So if you three siblings all owe your mother the same "duty" (love, respect, and in her old age; looking after her, like she looked after all three of you)...
Then there is no reason for your sister to not pay her share, if she's not in a financially desperate situation. She owes it to your mother, just like you and your brother feel you owe it to your mother.
It's just... you don't look at it as "owing" your mother. You love your mom (I'm assuming)... so of course you're going to do whatever you have to do to make sure her health is looked after. You don't look at it as "a duty" because you love her, and it's something you can't imagine not doing. It's a given for you that you'll find the money to get your mom healthcare she needs. That is the normal way people think. That is the morally right way to think. Your sister is only able to shirk her financial duty, because she knows you and her brother will figure it out. That's ridiculously unfair to you and your brother.
All three of you are feeling that: "I don't want mom in pain, or dying earlier than she should"
She is saying to you and your brother: "Ok, but you two got that, right? I've got a trip planned next week. You two have so much money, this is cool, right?"
And by letting her get away with it, without calling her out on leaving you and your brother to cover the financial reality of caring for your mom's health... you and your brother are replying "Yea, sure, it's fine... have a good time on your trip!"
I don't know how you can read each of our completely opposite takes, and not intuitively feel that one or the other of us was right. If you want to chat more, DM me if you're comfortable with that. It's just easier.