Why do Asian women care so much about money and economic status?

Question

I would prefer answers from people who have experienced this whether it'd be a guy who has dated one or has a friend who is like that. Now I am NOT saying that money and economic statuses are not important because they obviously are but they are almost all Asian women care about. I've overheard my friend's mom talk with her friend (they're asian) about how in China, it's all about "do you have a house? Do you have a car? What's your parents' job profession (they hope to gain something from your family wealth)" instead of wondering what kind of person YOU are. it's like they're trying to date you to GET something from you instead of loving you for who you are. They are loving the OBJECTS and not the PERSON. It really angers me. Why is it like that? Why is Asian culture so greedy and selfish with money even with marriage?

VoiceOfReason · Accepted Answer

There is no doubt that some Asian women tend to be obsessed with money. The same can be said for some Black, White, Hispanic women as well. Its unfair that an entire race should have to come under fire for the few who choose to live by this lifestyle. This is not a race or a gender issue, this is a character issue.

People speak about it being traditional. If you have traveled to Asia, you will find that many Asian countries are deeply impoverished. Even in some Asian countries that are particularly developed and wealthy you will find that they aren't free from poverty. It comes to preparation, planning and opportunity whether someone will become successful and rise up out of poverty.

There's nothing wrong with a woman seeking financial stability in a mate. They see men as a provider as well as a protector. This is where some women of all races lose their sense of value. These are the women who will equate material things with success. They are the ones seeking wealth that would greatly exceed that which is necessary for stability and security. These are the women that should have their character come into question, whether they are Asian or not.

We all come from a path that has some sort of tradition, but we are also individual. Not everyone grows up to follow tradition, nor do they always follow what their parents tell them. When we are children, we listen to and try to be like our parents because that's what we're familiar with. As we get out in the world, attend school we see others and see that people will do things differently based on where they come from and it also gives us knowledge and understanding. Some things we like, we adopt. This is how we develop individually.

Once we're grown, it is our choice to take all of our knowledge and determine if we will or will not follow tradition. The path we choose isn't always the path our parents wish for us. It is what makes us mot comfortable. We have to live for and be responsible for ourselves as well as our actions.

Concluding, Asian culture isn't about finding the richest guys, its about self preservation, as it is in all races. Just because one person does something deemed immoral, unjust or improper doesn't mean that everyone who shares that identity will do it. It is solely the choice of that individual.

Confucius16 · Accepted Answer

I'm asian, and I asked my dad and I've thought a little about this. Asians want to be successful. They do want a person who is successful, they want their kids to be successful, etc. It's kind of part of the culture to do well. Because there is such an emphasis on getting good grades, being successful is a byproduct. So on the way to being successful, they attain these things.

No, they don't do it because they love objects and they don't do it because of dating. Don't let it bother you. Western people are also like this. People of all cultures do this. Everyone has a different way of expressing it, is all.

Chinese people are not learning the teachings of Confucius, and the old sages. If they had (and even if they do, it's not a guarantee that they'll see the true meaning behind it), they'll know that it's more important to be a good person than to have a good house and lots of money. Also, if they have learned the old teachings, then they will have also learned to be content with not being rich. So while you may notice the people who care about money and economic status, you haven't noticed the humble people who don't care as much about this.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Not all Asian women are like that. All I want is someone who would love and respect me, treat me the way that any woman would want to be treated and at least provide some level of security. My situation is a testament to that fact. We don't live in a big house, we go to work daily to provide for our living.

His parents are no where close to being rich. It was of no concern to me. I rather be with someone who loves me, treats me as an equal and not have some egotistical self entitled, self centered stereotypical jerk who's view of thinking is that I should be submissive, and cater to him hand and foot.

Yes, there are some Asian women out there who are exactly like how you describe. I'm not going to discredit that. However to be fair about it, there are women of all races who feel that money is more important than the man.

In regard to mainland China, maybe they have a different standard and tradition. I really cannot speak of it, because my grandfather on my mother's side is originally from Singapore. My grandfather on my father's side is from Hawaii and both grandmothers are Pinay. Needless to say, what they do in China has no bearing on me or how every Asian woman approaches life. Maybe you've just been around the wrong type of Asian women.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I really cannot speak for all Asian people obviously... but from MY personal experience I believe its about success and wanting the best for their family (of course like in any race there are gold diggers or people obsessed with materialistic things/status and that's just the way it is lol).

I know that my great grandmother had nothing and raised her children as a single mother in Thailand. My grandmother grew up with nothing there and came to America relying on her husband for everything. She was hard on my mother and she is hard on me to this day about what I do in my life but I appreciate that. I know for her its not about having things but about making something of yourself and not relying on someone for things. Its about striving to be better at whatever you're doing in life. More so about self improvement than ending up with a wealthy man. But maybe some are still stuck in that old way and that's just their culture.

I think any person obsessed with status/money as you are talking about in your question is wrong and shallow. Men are people with emotions who deserve love and respect. But I also don't believe you can generalize so many people.

ilovejas · Accepted Answer

I'm Asian and my family is not rich.

But that does not mean we lack good values.

Our Faith in Jesus taught us to store treasure in heaven and not on earth.

We are taught not to dwell on worldly things or be materialistic.

My parents instill to us that we rather die of hunger than steal.

With God's grace and my parents hard work we are able to survive and get proper education.

Your lack of sound judgement makes me pity you.

Gawesome · Answer

I'm Asian-Canadian and I'll chime in. It's not about greed or gold diggers (maybe a rare case or two). Love, chemistry, values, and personality are still BIG factors. But there's the tiny factor which is the practicality/financial stability aspect. I don't think it just applies to JUST Asian women.

Would you want love but have to worry about your finances on a daily basis to make ends meet...OR want love and some form of financial stability? Especially when it comes to having kids because last time I checked, kids are expensive little buggers! Factor in a mortgage, living expenses, bills, groceries...financially, things add up. If wifey wants to be a stay-at-home mommy and its just daddy bringing home the bills, working as a janitor just won't cut it. I also think as a woman, you'd be pretty damn proud to show off that your man is a doctor, engineer, scientist, etc and making a difference in the world or people's lives. I'm also sure the gf's parents would be pretty disappointed to know that the bf/future husband is half useless and won't be able to financially take care of his FAMILY first and foremost.

Funny you brought up the parents professions. Frankly, my family all worked crappy blue collar jobs like most immigrants. Only a true gold digger will be after the parents wealth too I think...lol No immigrant parents want their sons/daughters to work the same mediocre manual labor jobs that they did and struggle through life with just enough money to raise kids. They want them to have a decent career, some form of wealth, and an enjoyable life for their future families.

thtdiablo · Answer

My wife (Chinese) and me discussed this topic just recently. She thinks that the buddhistic background is the main reason, why Chinese are striving so strongly after possession and wealth. In the west many people have the romanticised idea of buddhism that it means to leave behind the worldly possession. In fact it states that people who were good in a previous life will be reborn in a higher caste (also including greater wealth). Therefore derives the logic, that rich people have been very good in the previous life and therefore deserve to have that much wealth. To achieve such wealth now "proves" that oneself has also been good in the past life.

Then many Chinese have a karmic thinking in which the "karma" punishes the "bad guys" already in this life. Hence the rich people are still being rich because they still deserve it, if they were bad, they would have lost their possession already.

On the other hand poverty is seen as a sign that a person has been evil in a previous life. This results in sometimes terrible treatment towards the poorer. When a friend of my wife wanted to get married, the parents casted the fiance out of their house because they thought, he'd bring evil spirits - just because the father had not the money to afford a car and a house.

There was a study by a certain Professor Yang (or Wang) Zhixiang sometime around 2000. He also sees the basic problem in the animistic-buddhistic tradition where possession is seen as a reward for a good and moral life.

why-makoto-kun · Answer

Wow, no.

This is like the same argument as "all women care about is money."

I'm so so sorry (sarcasm) that women don't want to settle down with a man-child who's going to play video games all day instead of supporting himself and picking his dirty socks up off the floor.

What would a trade/college-educated woman possibly gain from dating a man who is a child inside (granted that she is not into the idea of supporting someone who is perfectly capable of working)? Misery, that's what. Why should a responsible, hardworking woman with a bright future settle down with a man of zero ambition, no steady job, and no intention of living in a different house from his parents'? Why is that such a crime? Oh right, because having standards is something a lot of you "Nice Guys TM" rationalize as being "shallow" and "objectifying." No.

peace-love-couture · Answer

The obsession with status is not limited to Asians

And my roommate has told me that those things are important in China because it signifies your status.

But I do hope know realize not all Asian women are like that, just as not all black, white or Hispanic women are like that.

I do think that the ones who are obsessed with white guys are like that because they have this idea that the white man will save them and bring them up a few socioeconomic classes.

But not all Asian women are like that. People say the very same thing about all races of women

southernbuzz · Answer

Well my Filipino friends all have problems with dating because of it. They're all 18-23 years old & their parents make them focus on school & getting a good education/future set up for themselves. They are not allowed to date until they've completed college. They want their kids to be successful. It's not really a bad thing at all. It's smart that they make them stay on the right path & it's something everybody should be trying to do. I'm half Filipino, & I do the very same, but I do date. I think that it would all be easier if I wasn't dating! I could focus on things a lot better & have no one hindering me from achieving the perfect life for myself, but I love my man so I don't care!  As I said, Asian parents would like to see their children succeed, just like a lot of other parents in other cultures.

jessi-chan · Answer

Well, money isn't everything, and will never be everything, but is anyone saying that it isn't important? Like really, attractive and nice guys are awesome, and everyone likes them, but the thing is even if you fall in love with them, and settle down with them, you can't live off love. Love will not pay the rent. Love will not feed you if you're living on the street. Love isn't everything, and I know I will get down-votes for saying this. If you don't have money, even if you're in love, and things get difficult, you will fight, and you will fall out of love.

Girls from other nationalities do care about money too - remember that 20 year old who married the 80 year old millionaire? They just aren't as obvious about it...

That said, money isn't all we care about, we care about looks and personality too, and don't you think you're kind of stereotyping in the question?

Anonymous · Answer

I'm from Japan, so not one of the traditionally poor countries, so here it's mostly tradition. While a lot of women work, a lot of them quit their job to raise children, so they need a husband to provide for them.

Also arranged marriages are a lot more common in Asian countries and what people who arrange them are usually very superficial. At the same time most young women out there are def looking for love, but their parents usually have a bigger influence on their daughters than would be common in the US. And parents are usually very traditional, they want their daughter to be with a wealthy man who has his sh*t together. if you look at your own history you'll see that even in the US it was very common for men to have bought a house, saved some money, made themselves a reputation in the professional world... before they proposed to a woman

Then poorer countries, a lot of girls have a miserable life and they don't want a family if they can't provide them with a better life

martyfellow · Answer

The parents have often lived through hard times, and they never had money or houses or cars, unless the houses were provided by the state or inherited...and mostly the houses were dirt hovels.

Now that there is some wealth in Asia, especially in China, they want their children not to have to suffer as they did.

it's not generally the young Chinese choosing partners based on money, it's their parents!

And in their culture, parents generally facilitate or arrange the marriages, and many will veto any bride or groom that doesn't pass a wealth test, and most of the young Chinese won't defy their parents regardless of how much they love their boy friend/girl friend.

Actuallymost Chinese are more romantic and less tied to money and status than people in the US, for example. A LOT less tied to money and status.

But they will generally accept their parents' decision on whom to marry.. It's changing, but most are still that way.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not ALL Asians. I'm Asian and I'm not like that. My family's not like that. My Asian friends are not like that. Maybe people in China are or something (but I can't really say since I'm not Chinese so I don't know about their culture) or maybe it was just your friend's mom and her social group if they're in higher status or something. You can't just base ALL Asians off of what you heard though and so YOU saying that the "Asian culture [is] so greedy and selfish with money even with marriage" angers ME.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they are smart.they use their heads and their hearts when it comes to relationships. I find that a very practical and intelligent way of thinking. I am not Asian, but I admire this about them. I work with a lot of Asian women and I see them usually marrying and dating up. That doesn't mean they only think of money but that is one of the qualifications for being with someone. Everyone has standards.

That's like saying, why does a woman have to be pretty for you to date her? Since you wouldn't date an ugly woman that must mean you only care about looks.why not look at a woman as a person instead of an object. You can't assume because someone wants a partner with a certain trait that that's all they care about.

abundantlyrich · Answer

To answer your question: I would say it's because their country is overpopulated, they don't get welfare, Self sufficiency and independence is not part of their culture? parents have lots of kids for the sake of manual labour in future.

The obsession about money and economic status does not just limit to people of Asian origins only. Asians just tend to be more obvious and blunt about it, sad to say. Yeah that's China for you. Their excessive questioning, being blunt, over analysing and staring a lot is very annoying.

It's not just Asian culture that values greediness/selfishness. I see it in other cultures and countries too. Blame it on their governments for being corrupted and unfair.

Theguyoverthere · Answer

This is hardly specific to Asians!

The same type of questions are looked at all over online dating sites and this is the US I am writing from here.

Girls online want to know if you have a house vs. an apartment, what college degree you have, what your income level is, your political views, and so on.

Greed has nothing to do with gender, race, or anything like that.

Anonymous · Answer

In Japan we are also surprised at how China is taking it to a whole new level. Well, it's all about keeping up appearances in Asia. Women want an easy life, they don't want to struggle.

There's a famous disorder that many women suffer from when their husband retires and they are forced to spend more time in the same room with him. These women literally become mentally and physically ill. They can't stand being with their husbands but they were very happy to use his money all those years when he was working his butt off and giving his wife his entire paycheck as is custom. I can understand how men would feel used and disgruntled.

htarmort14 · Answer

Um, I was dating an mix boy and he was curious about this. I think they just want to outdo their friends. Whatever, I guess. I am an Asian girl and I care about my own education and career. I know growing up people like to compare their material wealth. My brother try to outdo his friends and brought an expensive house and well he has to get a second job. In life, do things for you and forget other people

AliceWonders2013 · Answer

Thanks for racial profiling me and everyone of my race.  and doing it anonymously.  I hope you never experience how degrading it is to stereotyped.

loda1994 · Answer

there are three types of men to women:

1st the husband type and that is the one that can provide money

2nd the lover type and that is the one that provides romance and love

3rd the friend type and that is friend zoned and listens to them.

since Asian culture care about virginity till marriage she knows that she won't do anything with him until marriage so she looks for only the husband type

6Paul11 · Answer

I am Asian myself (Japanese) and I will tell you first hand that every Asian girl I know is snobby and like you described.  This is part of the reason I do not, and will never date an Asian girl.

G_GTom · Answer

I've been around long enough and work with Asians regularly, not only in this country but in China and Japan as well.

Not all Asians women are like this; HOWEVER, Asian women are much more likely to be concerned about money. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

Anonymous · Answer

Let's be honest, ALL women regardless of race would prefer a wealthy husband to a poor one.

The difference comes from how Asian culture treats this obsession with status and wealth. Western women do the same thing but pretend they don't and call the women who do "gold diggers" etc. In America most women don't fantasize about becoming a Stepford wife, but given the opportunity they would leap at it. Asian girls how ever I trained from birth to pursue this goal, and with no shame. Is this shallow? Yes. But you could also look at it as honest, and ambitious and maybe other races of women are just hypocritical.

kangaru · Answer

I know many women are obsess with all these things but it happen in all races and nationalities not limited to just Asian. The ladies around me including myself we are capable of earning our own keep and we are not greedy over such things.

Why do Asian women care so much about money and economic status?

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