With the responses I've gotten, some of the nastiest responses imaginable, after just asking them out in a classy way. And I'm left feeling rejected, and pretty stupid. As a guy, you're showing a level of vulnerability. And when girls choose to go for the jugular vein so often, it becomes very personal very quickly.
Some boys take this and make the mistake of acting like a jerk. Some sadly develop deep anger issues that they carry for a long time. But not all do.
And this is a small point, but "man jerk" is an oxymoron. A man can make the mistake of acting like a jerk from time to time. but for the most part, MEN aren't jerks. Men, if and when they make a big mistake, they're willing to at least admit it and deal with the consequences in a responsible way.
Also, for clarification, I do not have "trillions" of other beautiful women that I can date. I'm 28, and I've dated 2 girls; I have less than 5 months of dating experience over the past 12 years. Neither of those girls wanted me, as evidenced by their behavior towards me and the relationship. Last time I asked out three girls and got shot down by all of them in nasty ways; Then I was forced into admitting a crush on another girl, and I got nastiness there, after being forced into opening up a bit. Then all of them stopped talking to me completely. Honestly, I have no real interest in ever asking girls out any more.
I only have one woman who hangs out with me as a platonic friend, and that's rare because she's married. I invite out other girls / women, and get ignored completely, or promised that they'll show, and then I get ignored or flaked on. I even do groups so that there's safety. I change the types of events, and they still won't bother to even respond.
Any good thing that I could possibly do is somehow immediately creepy, worthless or dorky. Now add that to a bit of shyness, busyness and no "support" from my guy friends; My "options" are slim to nil.
For me, the frustration is 400+ women saying something along the lines of "What makes you think I'd ever date a loser like you?" or "I'd never even want to be seen in the same room as you." "Hell no." or "he's pretty much worthless" (said by two so called female friends). It's the laughing.
It's when I flirt and get sneers or complete indifference.
It's when I start a nice conversation and girls get up and walk off. It gets old quick. I've had girls fly of the handle because I gave a compliment; if talking to girls always gets returned with nastiness, then you stop doing that in order to avoid the brunt of anger.
Imagine you get smacked around by everyone you meet for simply saying "hello"; you'd stop saying it because you'd learn to expect pain for it. Likewise if you ask out a girl and she respond witha personal attack, then you eventually stop doing it.
I'm not a jerk about it, even when THEY are, I'm unbelievably quiet about it. but I would understand it in a way. Not that I'd excuse that behavior.
Maturity of course plays a part. I mean, it's a two way street. Both guys and girls both can get hostile or ill-tempered once rejected. Some may be outright mean, others may start spreading rumors. It just depends on the person, male or female.
I would also ask *how* did you reject him? I mean, if you were polite to him and perhaps explained why (example: "I've got a boyfriend," "I only like men with tattoos of bulldozers," etc.), then his reaction seems unwarranted. However, if you told him that "Go out with you? Puhleeze.I'm so like, above you!" or something along those lines, then perhaps his reaction is totally justified.
Just food for thought.
Yeah, I would think immaturity definitely plays a part. No matter how nice you are about rejecting them, it's still a rejection, so their ego is wounded lol. And the immature ones react by being a jerk, instead of just accepting it and moving on. It's not really worth worrying about.
I mean no one likes being rejected, but a mature person would understand that it happens to everyone at some point. :]
I hate guys like that!
Even when you are nice about it, there are some guys who either A) Take it to the extreme or (B) Still try to be persistent even when they know you're not interested - so sometimes you have to be *direct*.
It's just their ego. There are some guys who are so conceited and think every girl should drop their drawers just because he talked to her lol.
i think lack of maturity does play a part. I know this one guy liked me and I think he wasnt only upset I rejected him but also embarrassed in a way. I wouldn't have treated him any differently, but still he acted like a jerk and said I gave him a reason to be one. I was really nice when I rejected him too!
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The person became spiteful that their expectation didn't come true. And when their hopes get turned down they try to hurt your pride. Also, a lot of the time the person who does the asking hasn't taken enough time to realize what situation the other person is in. The person their asking out may be single, but they don't know if he/she has a crush/ talking to someone/friends with benefits or whatever going on. They just impulsively ask.
Lack of maturity and tact plays a part, otherwise they'd try to save face with you and leave the brooding for later on their own. However, using your logic, you don't want guys to see you as special or worth having because you're just one of the 'trillions of beautiful women in the world.' Maybe these guys see something interesting in you that they don't see in other girls. When you shut them down without considering their feelings, they can become hurt or feel disrespected.
I don't think all guys are jerks when someone tells them they aren't interested. I think maturity has a lot to do with it. There is this quote I like, "you can grow old but never grow up." Some girls are the same way. It's important to be honest initially so there are no confusions.
Lack of maturity may play some part
Or maybe they're trying to impress you
"Jerks get all the girls" after all
Maybe you're not the first girl that rejected him, so maybe he's frustrated
But that's just a guess.
Let me ask you this. How do you reject them? Are you polite and respectful? For example if a woman ghosts me, of course I’ll be a dick to her for the lack of respect. When a woman is polite and doesn’t make anything personal (using labels) I feel the initial pain of rejection but get over it and respect her for being honest and respectful. When a guy acts like a jerk after rejection he’s indirectly communicating that you hurt his feelings
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