Why do you ignore people on Tinder?

[Czdrkd]

Lets exclude the obvious answers. The overly thirsty men, the unsolicited pictures, the unstable ones, and the ones who are clearly cruising.
Let's talk about the messages you recieve where the person clearly is interested and isn't a total pos. I'm guilty of it too, girls have messaged me first and I've tried to conversate but just gave up eventually. They usually lose my interest around self depreciation and the "I like to sleep all day" messages.
What's your reason? And be honest.

Updates

+1 y

What I mean is Why do you personally ignore matches on Tinder. Not why do you think you/I get ignored.

[spuitkaas]

1. I used to have like 10 guys messaging me at once and I don't have the time to reply to them all (not anymore though, but when I first got the app)
2. I find out they're foreign and just in Amsterdam for a few days and I don't see any future in people like that.
3. He starts with just saying 'hi'. I've tried to reply to those before, but it always ends to nothing because they want you to make the conversation interesting, but honestly I don't take enough effort for that. Good thing about tinder is that I have many options so I go with someone that takes effort.
4. I notice the guy is not very smart.
5. He said something stupid.
6. I forget to reply on a message that doesn't ask for a reply (this happens way too often) and don't take the effort to do it anyways.
7. Guy talks to me for the wrong reasons.
8. Not my type personality wise
9. He's too pushy to meet up fast
10. I'm just busy and reply after a few days, but then they're not interested anymore
11. Those super 'original' messages where they ask a whole story or a bookwork and I just can't be bothered.

I don't know. I have many more reasons, but it all comes down to 'I don't take tinder very seriously

[Czdrkd]

👏 👏 👏

[QuickRick101]

So what to you would grab ur interest? Honestly I don't know how to talk to girls im so used to doing stuff in person i can read their emotions and see if theyre having a good time or not. I can be interesting in person. But its like try describing anything to a girl who dont care to listen. And gives 1 to 2 word responses. I just can't work with that

[sunshine1005]

some guys are just weird and dont have much of a personality. Some guys seem full of themselves and some guys are just too foreward about meeting up right away and stuff. It turns me off. I prefer if he takes his time getting to know me instead of rushing into a meetup/hookup. Some guys are just so boring that I would rather talk to a brick wall then go on a date with them. Some guys also gotta lay off the stupid, lame pickup lines that they think are so funny.

[GingerGuy]

Just playing devil's advocate here, maybe they want to meet up right away to get to know you more (ie, they'd rather do it in person than texting or online)? A lot of women are like this. Some even say it right in their profile, they want to meet up, not talk online.

[Czdrkd]

I'm with gingerguy on this. If your profile is full, and mine is too, and we swipe on each other, wasting time "small talking" on tinder is pointless. I'd rather meet in person and actually get to know you. If it's blank, well, yeah I'm gonna take some time to talk on the app lol

[MrNameless]

In this information world full of choices, and people get bored for the smallest things, I'd give men a break. it's men usually initiating conversations and trying to make things happen

[Adfectus]

I gave tinder up ages ago. Mainly because the men i was chatting with seemed more into trying to hook up or be friends with benefits... none of which appeal to me. Part of it was i got harassed often and didn't always have time for responding to the amounts of messages

[kidCudi17]

That's what the app was supposed to be

[Czdrkd]

You don't have to use it for those purposes.

[Adfectus]

5 6 years ago there was nothing stating it was a hook up app. I doubt it is written anywhere today now its just known for that

I wasn't using it for hook ups it was nice because i was all over for work and it was nice to have connections all over to spend time with. But i stopped because i was tired of getting hey cutie if only you could see what i want to do to you type messages

[TsundereMatrix]

A lot of them have said hi to me, I say hi back and then they unmatch me. I don’t understand.

[Czdrkd]

If they have nothing on their profile, I just say hello and introduce myself. Or try to just say a joke if I'm feeling funny. But then I just get a hi back and I unmatch because they seem uninterested. But if they only effort they give is Hi, and then they unmatch, that just sounds a bit nutty

[TsundereMatrix]

Yeah. One dude said he saw me on the street one day so I tried to keep the conversation running but he unmatched me

[Caaarl]

Well for one saying hi back is an extremely lazy response. How would you feel if you said hi to someone and they just said the exact same thing back without adding anything on.

[ajijjj]

@Caaarl well the one who said hi first initiated to convo first so maybe they should be the person to start the convo, don't you think?

[Caaarl]

@ajjijjj No I don't believe that is true. If you have any self pride you should at least try a little bit reguardless if the other person initiated. To me just typing hi back is lazy and I potentially will unconsider them especially if they don't impress me quickly after.

Who do you think is pressured to initiate most conversations when women get much more attention than men do?

[ajijjj]

Ya i guess

[nacho808]

I ask how they are and then they unmatch me

[QuickRick101]

Hey im on tinder. But if u wanna talk to someone real who isn't lookin for a booty call you can message me at 4848990563. Thats my google number i give that out cuz most girls that get ahold of me try and be assholes. But if ur real and i like u ill give u my real number then.

[Froztt]

Because for me I use it to kill time. I'm not on tinder to find anyone because then it would be a rebound anyways. I still miss my ex and it wouldn't be fair if I compared anyone to her so I just don't show too much interest. I have 73 matches now and I ignore them all xD

[Czdrkd]

It may be time to put the memories aside and start moving on. Trust me. No woman can really compare to my ex. But I know better exists so I don't make comparisons. It's not fair to your ex or the next woman in your life.

[Froztt]

I know it isn't, but I miss her all the same

[MrMilti]

I never ignore matches on tinder, I tell them when I am no longer interested.

Why people start to ghost is pretty simple: They just dont care about that person anymore, perhaps they dont like certain aspects of that person or found someone they agree more with.

[Czdrkd]

Best answer hands down. If you tell em you're no longer interested, that's the best thing you could do! It doesn't leave em confused or hurt or longing for more interaction or anything. Much applause my guy, you're doing it right.

[fashionguy17]

I met my girlfriend on Tinder, and we have been dating for a year and a half. However, before I met her, women on Tinder used to match with me, and they would NEVER respond when I tried talking to them. Never understood the point of matching with someone and then not talking... so I used to report them for it.

[LegendOfGAG]

It’s hard to make a connection online. It’s where usually the people go who can’t find dates in the real world. If they can’t do it there, why are they (the hoes) to believe that they got what it takes offline. Especilly if you are a girl you gotta be more careful about things because guys can turn possessive and weird. Now they gotta watch their back kinda thing. I think personally they only go on there for ego boosts and see look guys do think I’m pretty still blah blah blah you know the same old same ol crap you here everyday.

But don’t necessarily want too...

[Xoxocutekitty]

I don't keep notifications on because I don't like the feeling of whoever I'm with friend, date, family, coworker realizing I have and semi actively use tinder. There's definitely a stigma, so often when I check the app (I don't do it religiously, like once every few days), i may see like 8 messages and then if I have 8 "options" I will pick maybe the top 3 most interesting to respond back to. So yeah, that means 5 messages go "unanswered"

[PeterB1517]

Why did you put "unanswered" in quotes? Somehow you are saying they are unanswered but not to you. Like you're objecting to calling it unanswered or ignored. So what is your thinking. But your answer was helpful in general for dating sites re women's proclivity to ignore messages.

[Xoxocutekitty]

I'm saying it's unanswered and I know so many guys say they feel so personally vindicated that a girl ignored his messages. When in reality, I am answering my messages, but only the top ones I want to pursue anything with. You can't go on first dates with 8 people. It'd be logisitcally and emotionally a nightmare. Even by responding you're leading someone on to a first date, and in reality, you only have so much time you can spend meeting people, before you want to go deeper and get to know their true stories.

[PeterB1517]

Your articulate. It does make men feel small, dismissed, inadequate in a kind of unfair way. And in reality that is what is happening. But I guess guys need good profiles and good profile pictures. This is extremely informative link for nearly all questions on GaG: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_choice

[PeterB1517]

You're.

[Platypus007]

Its honestly nothing personal. 100% practically relates to what is going on, in my personal life, my level of energy to be interested in getting to know someone else, to fuel my curiosity or not, and that energy often is just not there, and sometimes I have a full tank. So, it’s all timing I feel, and whatever is giving me, the motivation to observe, be curious and motivated to meet someone, relative to timing

[cherryphi82]

Well, I'm not on Tinder but I ignore people for multiple reasons. Sometimes it's really because there's no interest. But a lot of the time, it's because there's something else I'm waiting for. There might be guys that I really like, but they always post questions about farts and masturbation and that's just... boring and... not really appealing. I wait for a topic that really means something to me. That's when I usually swoop in.

[halfbowsey]

A few reasons i can think of:
1. Some don't really know what they're looking for
2. Too many matches and messages to reply to
3. Loss of interest or not really interested in the first place

I have some friends, mostly girls, who kind of brag about the number of matches they have even when they aren't interested in even chatting them.

[skiron]

"Everybody wants sex" but subconsciously people look long term, even men wanting hookup still will look for specific characteristics. Strangers just don't hookup. Dating is boring... True spark of attraction and chemistry can be done only in person, the first impression

[Czdrkd]

That doesn't really answer my question

[skiron]

Ok, don't know why "you ignore people on Tinder" my only idea is impatience. I get "hi" from a woman when I'm 100% busy. I reply 3h later and she is probably discouraged or found someone else by they time and so she is not replying. I always reply but I'm no "hottie" so I never had to much interest so delegated this crap application. The idea is horrible, 2 must match by swipe right, why not to notify you is someone is interested, then less people would swipe right just try get the results. Or what's the point of notifying someone liked me yesterday, while we both not in the mood next day. I think ignorance is the result of shitty idea of the app. Sorry if I can't answer your question

[Czdrkd]

I'm not asking why I get ignored? I don't know man, I'm asking like... Why do you personally ignore people on tinder, if you don't like tinder or don't ignore people, why bother answering? Cause to be real, your answer doesn't quite make sense.

[Anonymous]

I've gotten a couple matches recently and haven't bothered to message yet. I just find, they'll most likely not reply or unmatch.

One girl I've been talking to, I met up with, she seems cool, but at the same time there's those mental health issues. One minute she's all over me, the next, cold and radio static.

Call me a player, but I'm learning to keep my options open and not get "oneitus"

[jean_A]

Hahahhahahaha the I like to sleep all day answer :'D. Owh yeh I hate that. And so many girls like to sleep all day. WTF.

If you really want to know why they don't answer. You have to experience it yourself. Buy a gold account and go swipe in Jakarta ;). But it's just a form of incapability to act like a normal human being in the end.

[Czdrkd]

I meant like, you personally. I could guess numerous reasons why I don't get replies. And I know why I Ignore people as well. Just seeing why people do what they do

[OatsnWhey]

Because they’re not attractive enough for me to care. It’s a brutal answer but it just comes down to that.

[RunningWithSpoons]

Then why did you match with them in the first place? That's no excuse.

[OatsnWhey]

@RunningWithSpoons I swiped for almost everyone lol

[Czdrkd]

That I understand and I respect the honesty. I blind swipe often so I'm guilty of it as well as others

[Eridan]

Usually because I didn't notice she was fat or that she had a kid when I was swiping right.
Though if she texts me, I text back; it would be rude not to.

[Czdrkd]

Broooo. Like, sooo insensitive, but I was hoping for an answer like this. LADIES AND GENTD, STOP LYING ABOUT YOUR SIZE! ESPECIALLY IN PICS WITH ALL THOSE ANGLES. SOME GUYS/GIRLS LOVE BIGGER PEOPLE AND SOME HATE IT. BE YOURSELF AND YOU'LL FIND THE RIGHT PERSON And quit saying "I'm a bigger girl, if you don't like it fuck off" like... if you didn't hide behind those angles, you wouldn't have to say that, the dudes you don't want bothering you would stay away. mfs can hate me on that, but it's the truth.

[witherwing]

I give up and stop answering when carrying the conversation becomes too difficult. I've already lost any interest at that point, because with people I click with, making conversation isn't hard at all.

[Sharon94]

Sometimes they just expect me to answer at anytime. It bothers me. I have work you know, I can't talk all day. If they don't understand, I probably won't answer at all.

[smartassdroid]

I do not match or talk to boring people. I do not ignore them. Why waste time matching people you have no interest in as people? If you vollect matches, you are the narcissist. If a woman matches me and makes no effort, Ill call her boring and move one. Quality people make an effort. People need to start seeing dating apps as a tool for meeting like minded people, not just sex. If sex is the first priority, expect to rinse and repeat a quantity of boring shit.

[NatashaJ]

I usually stop caring when I am trying to start up a conversation and this person never bother to keep it going so it ends up dying. I don't hate them you can't hate someone you never met doing that.

[GingerGuy]

Do you try to keep it going? Guys in general aren't great conversationalist so sometimes we need some help (a 2 way street). We are like you women sometimes, we also have no idea what to say next lol. But yes I know sometimes there are ones that just don't bother.

[NatashaJ]

@GingerGuy It''s not hard to type up anything like you could ask the girls questions and I have talk and went on dates with guys who did that. There no excuse if you can't take 2 seconds out of your life to type to ask a girl anything.

[GingerGuy]

Do you though as well? I'm just saying, in my experience, women are just as bad as we are at this, if not WORSE! I recently started talking to someone new online for example and she makes very little effort to keep the conversation going. I'll ask her how her day was for example and all I get back is "fine thanks".

[NatashaJ]

@GingerGuy I never said girls weren't bad but since I talk to men on dating sites I wouldn't count women since I never experience that.

[GingerGuy]

Fair enough. I'm just saying it's a 2 way street and often I feel women like to put all the responsibility on the guy for all this stuff, when they are just as bad as we are lol.

[NatashaJ]

@GingerGuy Well again a lot of girls know that we not dumb just don't care what other girls do lol just like how guys shouldn't care what other guys do.

[Anonymous]

I do that i dont really know why. It's like they are all strangers and i dont really find the motivation to talk to someone i know nothing about.

[Burgerboy21]

I actually flat-out asked a girl once. She said she had over 200 guys messaging her and I "got lost in the mix." Then proceeded to apologize.
She then continued to ignore me, so I unmatched her.

[rebornnora]

Tinder told me to pay a subscription to have a conversation and i said no and didn't bother looking at my matches. another reason is that many of the girls that "match" me, isn't the type of girl i am looking for.

[QuickRick101]

In my opinion i think that girls dont respond because they dont find the guy attractive or werent really looking for anything in the first place. They single for a reason being an antisocial homebody is probably one of them.

[kakaloo]

In time you figure out if you are compatible with the person, if not, the interest will decline. Also, I'll loose interest if the person answers with short sentences, or the flow of the conversation is ruined by too many breaks.