If He Has a Girlfriend, Then Why Is He Pursuing Me?

[Anonymous]

I do understand that guys and girls flirt, even when they have a bf/gf, but this is beyond a casual look and smile.

This guy will look around for me, he will walk out of his way to see me (and often make sure I see HIM), sometimes even pretty obvious. He will wave at me when he sees me, but it is often accompanied by a shy smile and lots of blushing. When I didn't know he was around initially, I have seen him on a few occasions just watching me, and the most recent time when I have turned and caught him, he just blushed - smiled real big and waved and then took off. There are even times I have walked off or walked by and he will stop me at the last minute (after I have already passed him) just to ask me something random. To me, I feel he obvious has some sort of interest in me.

I always thought he was pretty shy, and seems like he is, but I am very surprised that a guy who has a girlfriend already would act this way. What should I make of this?

[islands7]

He doesn't consider her his Gfriend, perhaps she does. Besides, men with little/no sexual experience will obiviously want someone but really don't know how to get together & make sparks.

You'll get more & better responses if not posting as ANONYMOUS

[Asker]

He has made comments to others, referring to her as his girlfriend...'my girlfriend said...', etc., which is how I eventually found out.

I post anonymous because when I didnt, people started sending me chats asking me for sexual questions and such. strange.

[islands7]

Now that Girlfriend source is cleared up, I can steer my guess more toward the no rejection thing. He sneaks up on you as being his friend, wants you to turn into Girlfriend but a) if you reject him, he was just kidding, already has a Girlfriend but b) he really wants YOU to compete for Girlfriend status, so it's easier for him to break up with the other and he's not quite so bad a guy all round.

[Asker]

We had been flirting even before he for the girlfriend. It just seems to had intensified once he got the girlfriend, which was strange to me, once I realized. So it isn't like he didn't have the opportunity with me first. I would have loved to have been his girlfriend, but he withheld the fact that he already had one while showing interest in me, and I don't play games involving trying to compete and take someone from someone else. That seems immature to me. I am not in high school anymore. :D

[islands7]

IF this is the game he is playing AND you judge his game as too immature for you, DO you then reject both his game (as stated) ... and HIM?

[Asker]

If his situation changes and he wants to talk, I am willing to hear what he has to say, as I have always cared about him and would at least give him that. Otherwise I cannot make any promises. It would depend on the explanation he gives on why these events played out as they did.