Guys, How obvious do girls need to flirt for you to notice?

[Anonymous]

People always say guy don't notice the subtle way girls flirt. But I think they're not complete morons, so at some level of boldness, guys should pick up the hint right?

So therefore: if a girl and a guy are friends or friendly. What is the least she would need to do for you to know she's flirting?

[Robertcw]

I only ever pick up on the shy/awkward authentic type of flirting. I guess that’s probably because that’s the only authentic display of attraction deep down.

I scan people’s subconscious body language. I look at their faces to see what emotions they are feeling, I look at how they react to me looking at them. I look at how they act when we are walking towards each other, and how they act when we cross paths or make eye contact.

Looks of excitement and sheepishness or embarrassment are positive signs for me. Looks of revoltedness or pissed oddness or eye rolling are negative signs to me.

Any given day I get equal amounts of both.

Occasionally she will come up to me and start a conversation. If she is being kinda dorky and flustered, then I think she’s attracted.

If she asks if there is a restroom then I’m pretty sure she’s attracted, cause she’ll go in there and check her appearance in the mirror, her hair will be all tousled when she comes out.

If she puts on lip balm mid conversation, I take that as a sign of attraction.

Basically I’m just scanning her for her subconscious feelings.

I will admit that I probably miss conscious signals because I’m only paying attention to subconscious behaviors.

[Asker]

I'm an enthusiastic often embarrassed person in general, I can be chatty and I joke a lot. But as soon as I like someone, I turn really awkward and don't know what to say or do. Therefore, I tend to seem uninterested as soon as I'm really interested.

[Robertcw]

Yeah I see that a lot at my college. I’m actually the same way, which inevitably sabotages potential relationships because I’m not playing the role males are supposed to when I get like that. I’m legitimately impressed by people who can successfully on more than three dates.

But that’s how I know someone is for real into me. Especially if they start fumbling and dropping things, spewing nonsense in rapid succession or get really quiet and sheepish.

[Asker]

I can go on dates successfully, if Im not really into the person. But that never lasts of course.

This one time, I liked a guy and tried to subtly get his attention while in a group. Result: the 2 other guys there ended up hitting on me, the guy himself did not -_-

[AriesMan]

We have a problem here. You are not considering whether the guy happens to be as social or as bold as the girl who is flirting to get his attention! Furthermore, what is the environment? Is this at a social function? Is this at work? Is this at college? You run into issues of worrying about sexual harassment for the last two if the guy misinterprets the girl's actions for flirting!

Now we have one more problem, we have established that these two are friends! Suppose the guy thinks that is all she wants and assumes her "flirting" is just her being friendly and wanting nothing more. You can't play the game anymore of subtle hinting! If you are tired of dropping hints and he still doesn't "get it", be very bold and suggest you would like to do something together since you haven't found anyone you are interested in. I think any guy will finally "get it" by that point! Help us out!

[Asker]

We are just recently getting friendly. I know him as a sort of colleague; we do the same volunteer work as a hobby. I don't want to make that awkward.
I haven't dropped many obvious hints yet as we are rarely alone, but I'm getting some chances in the near future.

He's always nice to me, but he's also just a very nice person. If another guy acted like that I'd say he's interested, but this guy is that nice to everyone, male or female (sure he's straight though).

I asked him to go to an event together, but it could also be a friend thing as people from our volunteer work often do that kinds of things together. This time neither of us asked anyone else to come though.

He's both socially easygoing and shy/modest. I also turn blind to the intentions of any guy I like; I can 'read' guys quite well except when I have feelings myself. I really don't know where we stand, that's why I wanted to flirt instead of being too bold. I already made the first step after all.

[AriesMan]

You made the first step but I notice you state, "... but it could also be a friend thing as people from our volunteer work often do that kinds of things together". How would he take it that you are expressing interest and ask him to express the same?

Maybe if you inquire about his dating life, let him know about yours if the discussion allows for it, you can get him to express his genuine interest as more than just friendly!

[Asker]

I think he's single, he or his friends have never mentioned a girlfriend of his. I know which people are in a relationship, I'm assuming the rest are not.
We do these things as a group and always discuss them in the group chat, but this time I asked him in private and we didn't invite or tell anyone else. It's a music thing. Would he assume it's a date?

[AriesMan]

Ask him if he assumes it is a date! Not me!

[mrbobz]

Oh like almost getting our winky out... No joke.. We are so bad.. Mostly we just like to becareful and have a very low opinion of our selves so your just "Being friendly" even after you put me in a headlock

[Asker]

Is it truly that bad? Like, if a girl keeps making prolonged eye contact, stands close etc, would you notice?

[mrbobz]

Probably not. It does depend a lot on the situation and how confident the guy is. I look back now at so many times I missed out on... One girl I used to hang with a lot at lunch once said "oh I lost my phone can you ring it?" I was confused as she never given me her number, so I said I didn't have it... She gave me it and I rang it and she still couldn't find her phone.. I thought nothing more of it and didn't contact her... But now I realise she was giving me her number 😂

[Russwill]

Lol, I've been yelled at numerous times because I didn't pick up on signals... That the woman wasn't just talking she was flirting with me! No guys are oblivious to casual flirting, it's like we don't see it cause we think your being friendly or no way she was intrested in me!

[serious]

I never flirt with a woman and hence I don't appreciate if a woman tried to flirt with me. If a woman tried that, then I will just ask her to stop (politely) and then leave that place.

Simple.

[Anonymous]

We'll notice to suspect yes. But there's always doubt with hinting so if there's doubt, we'll doubt it (as would you right?). We think "is she flirting, or just being nice/friendly?" So the more direct you are, the better.

[jessture]

It needs to be over the top, I'm not going to act like just because you're being nice to me you're interested.

[Asker]

A y concrete example?

[Asker]

Any*

[jessture]

Touch him, tell him you enjoy him, sit close to him, look into his eyes a lot

[Asker]

That's doable :)

[Banished]

I'm not good at picking up on flirtations, so be fairly obvious, please.

[Notabadguy]

No need to flirt, just say him he is handsome and he will surely pick it up

[DDpsy]

Show me their vagina. I will be oblivious to anything else and probably that also most of the time.

[Juxtapose]

Tell him you want some time alone with him and give him a wink with a big smirk.

[Anonymous]

Extremely, or I think she's just being nice. All girls that ever liked me were very obvious

[Asker]

Any concrete examples?

[Opinion Owner]

They texted me stuff like how they wanted to kiss or fuck. That obvious.

[Asker]

Damn. That's difficult. I like a shy guy. I asked him out to an event, in a way that could also be interpreted as friendly. I was planning on being obvious there, but I want to know what to do to get him to know my intentions, but I don't want to risk rejection as I already initiated most. So I want to motivate him to make a move

[Opinion Owner]

Just tell him, unfortunately it's a very hard job for men to decipher what's friendly or flirtatious. For everyone one of you girls, there's 5 that say "Omg why did he hit on me? I was just being nice!"

[Asker]

Like I said, we are already friendly. I asked him out. I want to be a bit more sure how he feels before risking it. If I can get him to flirt back, I dare making a move, but if I'm obvious enough and he moves back/ignores, I can avoid disaster. Therefore I wanted to know what's 'enough'.

[Opinion Owner]

No, what I'm saying is tell him you like him more than friends.

[kevinlol2468]

ehh really obvious.. most of us is really bad at noticing

[tartaarsaus]

She'd have to ask me out for me to notice.

[Asker]

I asked him out, but it could also be a friendly date (I asked him to go together to an event we were both interested in). Iwas thinking what I can do while there to show my intentions without being too subtle or too clingy/annoying.

[ChiPaPa]

Hints are stupid. Just ask them out.

[Asker]

I did. But it could be a just-friends-date. I also want to flirt first to see how he reacts, so I have a better chance of guessing my chances.

[Nahid1707]

I can’t tell flirting by a girl tbh

[Ripper_E]

How do you flirt?

[Asker]

Usually, I make eye contact slightly longer than usual, stand slightly closer than usual, try to have a fun conversation and tease them a bit. When I have actual feelings (instead of flirting casually at a bar or party), I tend to get more awkward and shy so that conversation isn't always as natural.

[Asker]

Oh and I laugh more than usual