How can I play hard to get but in a way that makes him want more?

Question

How can I play hard to get but in a way he wants more?

I’m not one to give out my number to anyone because I get a lot of attention and I don’t want creepy guys on my dm, but one guy in particular has caught my eye. He’s part of the group of people that are always “throwing flowers at me” if you know what I mean.

With face masks it’s all been polite comments and sometimes even daring requests to hang out without me even without knowing them which of course I won’t do. But this guy hasn’t tried anything, he’s a mail man at work and he always brings me the letters and winks at me smiling. I don’t want to slip the number on a paper 😂 and I know he’s probably in a hurry. How can I get him to be more interested?

rjroy3 · Accepted Answer

Effective hard to get has more to do with him having to work to get you alone due to things you don't control. Like other guys hitting on you and him seeing that.

You being genuinely busy at work/school/friends parties and so on. Having a life that isn't about a guy. If you pretty much stay at home, read books, watch Netflix, and only go out sometimes when you're not working. The only real way to be/play hard to get is for him to see guys hitting on you and you letting them shoot their shot.

Now the problem. He might not be confident enough to want to overcome that. The whole point to playing hard to get is stoking a man's desire of competition.

He has to want you on some level already from the jump. Assuming he does. Little barriers like I mentioned above will help. Have a life, be involved with friends, let him see other guys hit on you. Don't rub it in his face or talk about how 'all these guys hit on me but I turn them down". Na. That shit is for other girls. Guys find that as a turn off or at best slightly annoying that he'll decide to overlook because so many girls do it.

But if a guy merely sees other guys walking up to you to say hi and having a conversation. In his mind he's assessing what the relationship is to you. Whether or not that guy has a chance with you and for many guys sizing himself up to that guy.

If he asks about who another guy is just say things like, "oh that's Steven", "just some asshole *laugh*". Things that don't fully let on the relationship you have to the guy. He's not going to want to press for info and will often just assume the guy is either a guy trying to fuck, wants to and failing, or just a friend.

Either way the more a guy does these little assessments with other men around you it adds up. Like when I date a girl I just accept the fact other guys are going to hit on her. Comes with the territory. She's hot and that's just how it is.

Anytime that behavior in other men is exhibited and it doesn't come across as you trying to make that happen it will work in your favor. But the little shit some girls mentioned like not taking late phone calls and things like that. That just makes you seem either uptight or just overly serious.

Overmind · Accepted Answer

One word, touch. I cannot overstate how much of an effect an attractive woman can have on a man when she conveys things by touch. & no, doesn't have to be a full blown hand-job or anything.

Touch instantly gets a mans attention & gets his mind swimming into the deep end; you wouldn't imagine the scenarios that play through our minds :) Just don't torture him too long or he may make you regret it (in a good way) :)

Next time he hands you your mail don't just grab the mail, make sure you "accidentally touch", but make eye contact & smile after; find any excuse you can in normal interactions & that will get his mind on you in a hurry :)

The slow culmination of various scenarios playing through his mind WILL drive him crazy (if the attractions mutual), if not can easily be played off as a accident giving you a way to save face. Some of us can be rather dense on picking up on signals, especially when younger.

Requires tact or like others said, he'll lose interest & move onto someone else. Some guys enjoy the chase & some don't, just don't drag it out too long. Like walking a tightrope with not wanting to sleep with him too fast but doing it in a way that doesn't make him feel confused about your ultimate intentions.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

It’s not really about playing hard to get but more about showing a guy you will not date him unless he appreciates you and respects you - you can communicate this but not agreeing to every date, refusing late phone calls close to your bed time and not pestering or chasing him down - and using best friends for emotional support and not guys your dating since a woman who is strong enough to survive without him is more attractive to good men.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

The vast majority of males hate this 'game' and won't chase if they're given mixed signals, or catch on to a girl 'playing hard to get.' I advise you not to do it.

Itsok2behapp-e · Answer

Remind us how old you're? Oh OK, still got a childlike mindset.

In that case, let's begin with rolling your die and keep note of the number.

Roll it again... Oh, no! Just realized you're playing this game by yourself.

You go first but refuse to give out your number. That's OK. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Game isn't lost yet.

I don't know that phrase I'm afraid. Why waste money buying flowers and then throwing them?

I think throwing javelins would be more interesting seen as though you want to play games. We'd get to see how athletic you're at dodging them, hehe!

If you want to play the game you have to take part. If you're being called out to hang out, have fun, enjoy yourself but again you refuse to do so because you vehemently deny yourself to get to know your fellow opponents.

Let him be. Regardless of his occupation, a happy man will always smile and may/may not wink at every girl that he sees.

Don't slip him your number. Don't do anything at all. Be the sore loser at your own game and then come crying to the internet that you didn't win.

Forget the die. Forget your games. Forget anything anyone has ever told you.

You're an individual before anything else. What's stopping you going for what you want? Ah yes, your silly little rule book of the game you call 'Play Hard To Get.'

Let us know in the comments below how many times you play this pointless game and how many times you've won? - This isn't for my benefit but moreso for the internet to see whether this game is worthwhile investing in, practing and ultimately playing.

I highly doubt it.

USMC-Crossroads · Answer

I think that's a pretty messed up thing to ask, even though I appreciate your being honest. Women often employ tactics and strategy, then wonder why the dude splits. What you're doing in kind of dishonest. If you make the guy want you more than he naturally does, then you are not being yourself - which is a typical female complaint about guys. Yeah, guys do stuff like that also, and I think that is messed up as well, and so do you. Do what you want, but don't come and post here, asking "why are so many guys not straight up with women?"... I guess the answer is in that big reflective thing on your bathroom wall. Good luck, and all, but, damn lady. Damn.

cth96190 · Answer

Due to changes in law, for which Feminists lobbied, playing hard to get will cause you to die alone, surrounded by cats.
In some jurisdictions, such as Britain and Denmark, the wording of recent anti-catcalling legislation made it a felony (that carried years of prison time) for a man to approach a woman.
Elsewhere, more than one low-key approach fulfills the legal test of sexual harassment, which is a crime in most jurisdictions.
In US universities, approaching a girl can result in a Title IX extra-judicial action that can result in expulsion.
Overall, Feminists have made all women too dangerous to approach or be around.
No man who has an IQ north of retarded is going to pursue any female today, so playing hard to get will result in you being alone.

Alyssa11 · Answer

Playing hard to get will only attract the kind of men who like to play. You should be yourself. However showing that you have other interests, and that you’re not waiting around for him but have your own life, at the beginning of getting to know someone makes you more interesting.

VIVANT · Answer

If playing hard to get works it’s bc he enjoys games and will likely immediately get bored once the game stops. Some people just enjoy the sport. You can not date this kind of person. If you want to date find a guy that responds positively not negatively to yoir direct interest. in my opinion you will be washing your time playing games—unless you enjoy a good game in which case then go for it. But you guys will never trust each other.

Dragonpurple · Answer

You should make the first move, if your one of those who gets a lot of attention he may actually think your out of his league and wouldn't have a chance... so beyond a little bit of what he is already doing. You'd need to let him know your interested too.

Once you do that, he should be able to take it from there and you can see where things go.

Maybe on a break or lunch or something you go find him on break or lunch and just have a friendly chat, or if he has a desk when not delivering mail, stop by just to say hi.

EmiIyy · Answer

It’s best to be straightforward honestly, sometimes guys like the chase but most other times from what I hear they’re just tired of it. I just stopped dating and am working on myself more than anything, I also know for a fact that also attracts male attention is when you work on yourself & your goals. Stay focused and have a good day! 😁

Interstate · Answer

You can't. He either feels the same for you or he doesn't. There is no such thing as getting somebody to be more interested in you. You CAN invite him for a coffee at a coffee shop or eatery and get to talk to him and see how he takes to you (and vice versa). Then spend time with him off and on and see what happens.

Vikkrram · Answer

I don't know one thing why the hell you want to play hard... if you are interested in him. Seriously i can tell you one thing for sure that the more hard you will play the more complicated you are making a man to take a move. Man can think that you might be not interested in her... Resulting Your man will go far away from You. And Why you girls always wait for a man to take move? Maybe he is waiting for ur confirmation... go ahead girl and tell your feelings.

MrCommodore · Answer

Don't try to make him jealous, as that has backfired a few times for girls with me, and years later when they told me, they realised the mistake.

I would suggest instead you apply a hot & cold strategy, but not in the usual way.
Hot - Be friendly, smile, eye contact, twirl your hair, ask for help and compliment him.
Cold - Don't be distant, but instead remain pleasant and just more distracted or busy, as if you have other priorities that day.

I think this might work

McKellar · Answer

If you get a shit ton of attention from other guys, than you must be like an instagram model or something.

If you are truly interested in this guy, I'm sorry for being this blunt to you but playing hard to get just to have this guy interested in you more doesn't help. If you play hard to get while being interested in him,... than you are going to give him mixed signals, he's not going to be able to make heads nor tails just to interpret successfully if you are interested in him or not,... and if you are interested in him,... you need to communicate with this guy & talk to him, tell him you want to get to know him.

I'm sure he'll be a very, very, very, very, VERY lucky guy to be in a relationship with an instagram model like yourself, and you'll end up having all of your male fans or only fans disappointed & jealous. ;-)

Anonymous · Answer

Let me get this straight. He brings you your mail at work. That is all he does. Does he say anything? If he *was* interested he'd take some time to talk, he'd arrive where you are earlier as example.

I mean at my work the mail guys, those who run mail to the offices from the mail room, can be quite cheeky. So they wink, smile and banter with people. Means nothing. And they often know all the gossip throughout the entire building.

You make a fool of yourself thinking he's interested when he has done little to show it and that'll be around the building by the end of the week.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Honey, he's not going to ask you out. He's AT WORK. And it's probably a federal crime! Since he is a federal employee.

Also, if he's a high value man, playing hard to get is not going to make him want you. It's going to make him "next" you.

hahahmm · Answer

Unless he's in grade school or has ZERO self-respect that won't work. A man wants to know that you're interested and that's an ongoing thing. It's more like a game where you both kick the ball to each other playfully. Kicking the ball is giving the other person attention. It has to be mutual & back and forth all the way along.

ButterflyHope · Answer

I don’t play hard to get personally. I wouldn’t recommend it, causes a lot of problems (personal experience)
If I get a vibe his not trying or is simply not interested, i will ask him about it. (communication is important) because playing hard to get is a way to get ghosted, lol, learned the hard way.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

Flirt with him tease him but if your feeling him and he's feeling you go for it ask him on a date guys need to be asked out more they also want to feel special

tatianamay · Answer

Don’t play games. According to guys: of you’re interested, then you’re interested. Even if you seem a little disinterested (if you wanna play games) then they’re out

Slartybartfast · Answer

A women who is disinterested, is also unattractive.

The most attractive quality of a women is her attraction to me.

Playing games is about the single most unattractive thing a women can do , and playing "hard to want" is the dumbest game of all.

J2ohhhhh · Answer

Emphasis is on the world "play" if you play you're gonna be played. I mean that's my policy. I don't play girls who don't play me, but once they start it, I won't care much, game mode is on. Most guys have similar mindset and the ones who don't respect you... Cus you lost their respect, not cus they're disrespectful in default.

ProCoffeeAntiSleep · Answer

Just ask him out. Its strange women never consider this an option, but I guess a silver lining to that is because it doesn’t happen often, making the first move will automatically put you in the top 20-15%.
Seriously, games backfire more often than not and any reason you think asking him out isn’t an option is less true than you think

IDontBelieveIt · Answer

Like most guys don't play those games, If I meet a woman that plays games straight away it will be on your bike life's too short had it happen lots of times you can't make feel wanted why should I do it for you?

Anonymous · Answer

Most guys will tell you - playing hard to get, doesn't work. Especially in this day and age where most guys are at least a little concerned about being pushy and not going where there is no consent.

Playing hard to get is one of the worst things a girl who wants a particular guy, can do.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

Those who want interest, show interest.

"hard to get" doesn't really work if you're barely on his radar to begin with.

Flirt. Be playful. Be bright. Be your awesome self and drop hints that you're interested, and be receptive if he reciprocates that interest.

rounddablock · Answer

Rolls eyes. You are going to self sabotage yourself here. Most guys do NOT pick on “signals” the way you hope they do. Most women naturally play hard to get unless they have a huge crush on the guy.

Just smile at him and he will get the hint. He’s probably worried about hitting on you at work. You need to give him a stronger signal. Ask him what he is up to on the weekends.

Explorer91 · Answer

He could be dating some people already. Might not be serious but enough to forget about you during the day as someone else on his mind.
Could be anything.
From my experience if a guy finds you hot and you exchanged contact details. He will message you. If he does not. There’s probably someone else.

ohshee · Answer

Well this is a dangerous game I've gone through this before and I could tell that she was doing and I just walked away never say hello again

_bunny_ · Answer

Be flirty but aloof wear a nice perfume make sure he can smell it get close then pull away wear the right jewelry to attract his eyes to the right place wear nice fitting clothing nothing too tight nothing too lose and make up wear the right amount accentuate your features wear the right colors you got this

Mofunfour20 · Answer

You dont need to manipulate the situation. Just him a sense of peace he can't find anywhere else in this chaotic world. Nobody in their right mind would turn that down

magiusX26 · Answer

if its a guy like me, it will not work well for you period. "playing" at all makes me see you as manipulative due to mind games so gets you excluded from dating entirely by me.

MzAsh · Answer

For this to work best, you need to actually BE hard to get. It has to be that way for real, not just a game. Men can’t get enough of a woman who has her own life going on and won’t put him on a pedestal or chase him.

Anonymous · Answer

Play hard to get? and lose him for good
If you think he is good meet him and plan something together.
If you are the one who has attitude and wants someone to win you like a trophy
eventually you will get played later by playboys and cry then

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

It's weird that you say you don't wang creeps to DM you but you yourself are acting creepy?
And I say this with respect lol.

You confuse a guy with these mixed signals no =yes theory.

Also you say no means no.

And if he still persuses you say it's not consensual and doesn't respect your wishes.

Lol give him something to respect rather than yes no maybe games otherwise don't complain and I am speaking this to the audience and not to you alone.

TraceNormani · Answer

Don't play hard to get because that doesn't always work. You can push him away playing games especially if he can easily find another woman

Rok4bakAR · Answer

Take that dog muzz off!

And remember beta men don’t kiss girl’s ass.
They don’t make cheesy complements.

Alpha men are the ones you want! A little game they’ll chase you.
But if you make them run forever they’ll drop you like an egg.

Beta men are desperate for p**sy! They try one tactic on all girls hoping one of them will have decided with them.

boggboss · Answer

Lol u can't playing hard to get only works when he is trying to get u which he clearly is not atm and before u ask how do u get him to want tou u have to show interests

yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo · Answer

Most men don't go for that.

If we get the vibe you're in the least uninterested then you've lost us.

We for the most part try to take no as a no. So we assume you're being kind and saying no instead of playing hard to get

Twalli · Answer

If you want him to chase you, you have to do it when he doesn't have something else more important (his job) to do. Otherwise playing hard to get while he's in his job will not make a romantic connection more likely. The best you can hope for from doing do is your relationship remaining the same. It could also deteriorate.

Aether1 · Answer

My patience is very short with girls that play hard to get. I'll just forget about her and move on to someone that's more social.

Guanfei · Answer

Play hard to get, get nothing.
I don't know what is that idea women have that men like "hard to get" women. At best all you'll get is someone who won't chase you because he thinks you don't want him.
If you're interested, tell him.

wwwuuuttt · Answer

Don't play 'hard to get'. That sh*t is confusing. Just give him a smile back or something. Let him know you are interested without saying anything

Synikal · Answer

I see zero reason to play hard to get. That is one of many reasons why the dating game has become a headache. Just be upfront. It literally is the easiest thing to do.

Sarahr123 · Answer

What country do you live in? Men are too scared to do that here in England.

MotorcycleMan · Answer

Play hard to get with everyone else, but not him. Anything else and you're just playing games that can always backfire.

friendzoned4life · Answer

JUST FUCKING SAY YOU LIKE HIM WE MEN CAN'T READ MINDS HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO WE HAVE TO SAY THIS.

WE MEN HATE THESE GAMES WE WANT DATES NOT A GAMESHOW.

JUST SAY TO HIM YOU WANNA DATE HIM OR SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE ALONE

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Playing hard to get doesn't work anymore. We just say fuck it and move on to the next gash.

feralmermaid · Answer

Just be you and set boundaries, they are really easy to break so set your standards super high

Anonymous · Answer

You definitely seem to have some insecurities. He most likely isn’t interested in you the way you’ve been hoping, and his lack of attention in you has proven it further. You seem to be mistaking his kindness and politeness for attraction. If he thought you were worth it, he’d make a move. He sounds like a confident, independent man who doesn’t deserve these immature games. I’d leave him alone and let him find a real women.

Anonymous · Answer

Depending on the guy, maybe you can't. First sign of disinterest I'm done completely. So it would backfire with me.

mrdumbass · Answer

Impossible, guys want a girl who is interested in him and attracted to him, playing hard to get shows. giys she's not interested and we should give up and find a different girl

2021biguy · Answer

Playing hard to get is a turn off and guys don't like that, they think you're playing games.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

You can't, if you want him to be interested then don't play hard to get, instead just tell him you like him and stop playing stupid mind games.

dumazzs · Answer

Probably not talk to your mail person. They flirt with everyone

bamesjond0069 · Answer

"How can I play hard to get..." failure! Women who "play" hard to get are playing a game. Men dont like this and will typically either run away or do the classic pump and dump.

red324 · Answer

I don't play hard to get. I love on. Like say example she agrees to a second date, then ignores me the day before our date. I just leave it alone after that.

TessCasie · Answer

It’s not hard to get. It’s being scarce, elusive and mysterious.

Anonymous · Answer

You don't. Leave that shit to the kindergarden and be an adult. Or else forget about it and expect to only attract weirdos like Apope16.

anylolone · Answer

You can't. No one can. There are "chasers" and each has their own taste, be male of female, which are usually undecipherable even by themselves. And those, those are rare.

Anonymous · Answer

If you want him to be more interested then why the hell would you want to play hard to get? Men HATE women who play games like that.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Playing hard to get is manipulative. How about you take it slow instead?

TomGarand · Answer

... Actually, you could just tell him yourself that you want him.

How can I play hard to get but in a way that makes him want more?

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