How can I play hard to get but in a way that makes him want more?

[Anonymous]

How can I play hard to get but in a way he wants more?

I’m not one to give out my number to anyone because I get a lot of attention and I don’t want creepy guys on my dm, but one guy in particular has caught my eye. He’s part of the group of people that are always “throwing flowers at me” if you know what I mean.

With face masks it’s all been polite comments and sometimes even daring requests to hang out without me even without knowing them which of course I won’t do. But this guy hasn’t tried anything, he’s a mail man at work and he always brings me the letters and winks at me smiling. I don’t want to slip the number on a paper 😂 and I know he’s probably in a hurry. How can I get him to be more interested?

[rjroy3]

Effective hard to get has more to do with him having to work to get you alone due to things you don't control. Like other guys hitting on you and him seeing that.

You being genuinely busy at work/school/friends parties and so on. Having a life that isn't about a guy. If you pretty much stay at home, read books, watch Netflix, and only go out sometimes when you're not working. The only real way to be/play hard to get is for him to see guys hitting on you and you letting them shoot their shot.

Now the problem. He might not be confident enough to want to overcome that. The whole point to playing hard to get is stoking a man's desire of competition.

He has to want you on some level already from the jump. Assuming he does. Little barriers like I mentioned above will help. Have a life, be involved with friends, let him see other guys hit on you. Don't rub it in his face or talk about how 'all these guys hit on me but I turn them down". Na. That shit is for other girls. Guys find that as a turn off or at best slightly annoying that he'll decide to overlook because so many girls do it.

But if a guy merely sees other guys walking up to you to say hi and having a conversation. In his mind he's assessing what the relationship is to you. Whether or not that guy has a chance with you and for many guys sizing himself up to that guy.

If he asks about who another guy is just say things like, "oh that's Steven", "just some asshole *laugh*". Things that don't fully let on the relationship you have to the guy. He's not going to want to press for info and will often just assume the guy is either a guy trying to fuck, wants to and failing, or just a friend.

Either way the more a guy does these little assessments with other men around you it adds up. Like when I date a girl I just accept the fact other guys are going to hit on her. Comes with the territory. She's hot and that's just how it is.

Anytime that behavior in other men is exhibited and it doesn't come across as you trying to make that happen it will work in your favor. But the little shit some girls mentioned like not taking late phone calls and things like that. That just makes you seem either uptight or just overly serious.

[Overmind]

One word, touch. I cannot overstate how much of an effect an attractive woman can have on a man when she conveys things by touch. & no, doesn't have to be a full blown hand-job or anything.

Touch instantly gets a mans attention & gets his mind swimming into the deep end; you wouldn't imagine the scenarios that play through our minds :) Just don't torture him too long or he may make you regret it (in a good way) :)

Next time he hands you your mail don't just grab the mail, make sure you "accidentally touch", but make eye contact & smile after; find any excuse you can in normal interactions & that will get his mind on you in a hurry :)

The slow culmination of various scenarios playing through his mind WILL drive him crazy (if the attractions mutual), if not can easily be played off as a accident giving you a way to save face. Some of us can be rather dense on picking up on signals, especially when younger.

Requires tact or like others said, he'll lose interest & move onto someone else. Some guys enjoy the chase & some don't, just don't drag it out too long. Like walking a tightrope with not wanting to sleep with him too fast but doing it in a way that doesn't make him feel confused about your ultimate intentions.

[jennifer_bloom]

It’s not really about playing hard to get but more about showing a guy you will not date him unless he appreciates you and respects you - you can communicate this but not agreeing to every date, refusing late phone calls close to your bed time and not pestering or chasing him down - and using best friends for emotional support and not guys your dating since a woman who is strong enough to survive without him is more attractive to good men.

[AmandaYVR]

The vast majority of males hate this 'game' and won't chase if they're given mixed signals, or catch on to a girl 'playing hard to get.'

I advise you not to do it.

[Itsok2behapp-e]

Remind us how old you're? Oh OK, still got a childlike mindset.


In that case, let's begin with rolling your die and keep note of the number.


Roll it again... Oh, no! Just realized you're playing this game by yourself.


You go first but refuse to give out your number. That's OK. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Game isn't lost yet.


I don't know that phrase I'm afraid. Why waste money buying flowers and then throwing them?


I think throwing javelins would be more interesting seen as though you want to play games. We'd get to see how athletic you're at dodging them, hehe!


If you want to play the game you have to take part. If you're being called out to hang out, have fun, enjoy yourself but again you refuse to do so because you vehemently deny yourself to get to know your fellow opponents.


Let him be. Regardless of his occupation, a happy man will always smile and may/may not wink at every girl that he sees.


Don't slip him your number. Don't do anything at all. Be the sore loser at your own game and then come crying to the internet that you didn't win.


Forget the die. Forget your games. Forget anything anyone has ever told you.


You're an individual before anything else. What's stopping you going for what you want? Ah yes, your silly little rule book of the game you call 'Play Hard To Get.'


Let us know in the comments below how many times you play this pointless game and how many times you've won? - This isn't for my benefit but moreso for the internet to see whether this game is worthwhile investing in, practing and ultimately playing.


I highly doubt it.

[USMC-Crossroads]

I think that's a pretty messed up thing to ask, even though I appreciate your being honest. Women often employ tactics and strategy, then wonder why the dude splits. What you're doing in kind of dishonest. If you make the guy want you more than he naturally does, then you are not being yourself - which is a typical female complaint about guys. Yeah, guys do stuff like that also, and I think that is messed up as well, and so do you. Do what you want, but don't come and post here, asking "why are so many guys not straight up with women?"... I guess the answer is in that big reflective thing on your bathroom wall. Good luck, and all, but, damn lady. Damn.

[cth96190]

Due to changes in law, for which Feminists lobbied, playing hard to get will cause you to die alone, surrounded by cats.
In some jurisdictions, such as Britain and Denmark, the wording of recent anti-catcalling legislation made it a felony (that carried years of prison time) for a man to approach a woman.
Elsewhere, more than one low-key approach fulfills the legal test of sexual harassment, which is a crime in most jurisdictions.
In US universities, approaching a girl can result in a Title IX extra-judicial action that can result in expulsion.
Overall, Feminists have made all women too dangerous to approach or be around.
No man who has an IQ north of retarded is going to pursue any female today, so playing hard to get will result in you being alone.

[Sarahr123]

No wonder in England men never even look at women let alone approach them randomly. Especially at work it is all strictly professional. I have absolutely never seen such behaviour as this woman as described.

[cth96190]

@Sarahr123
If you do a search, you will find plenty of coverage about the British anti-catcalling law.
In Glasgow, November 2019, a pick-up artist who was arrested while he was taping a video about how to cold approach on the street was sentenced to two years in prison.
The same month, a socially awkard 19-year-old student who approached a girl and touched her elbow while speaking to her (a PUA book had told him to do that) was convicted of sexual assault. He was sent to prison and placed on the sex offenders register.
His life is over, because he fancied a girl and approached her. He might was well neck himself.
The mystery is that there are so many women who are clueless about the risks that men face and they wonder why men do not approach them.

[Sarahr123]

That’s sad, very sad. I guess even the little boys are made aware of this because even kids don’t catcall people or approach anyone for their number. Men absolutely never flirt with women here. It’s super rare to get a compliment from random men and the only time it seems to happen is if the man is foreign.

[Unbeatable]

Lol. They think they're all that. If you have seen Kevin Samuels on yt you know for sure just how bad they're having it atm

[bones0271]

@Unbeatable i did not know that wow that is scary

[Sarahr123]

@Unbeatable It seems like in America women get way too much attention and compliments for their own good. They’re all stuck so far up their arses.

[bones0271]

@Sarahr123 lol sad but true

[Unbeatable]

@Sarahr123 not all

[VIVANT]

If playing hard to get works it’s bc he enjoys games and will likely immediately get bored once the game stops. Some people just enjoy the sport. You can not date this kind of person. If you want to date find a guy that responds positively not negatively to yoir direct interest. in my opinion you will be washing your time playing games—unless you enjoy a good game in which case then go for it. But you guys will never trust each other.

[Jamie05rhs]

💯 .

[Dragonpurple]

You should make the first move, if your one of those who gets a lot of attention he may actually think your out of his league and wouldn't have a chance... so beyond a little bit of what he is already doing. You'd need to let him know your interested too.

Once you do that, he should be able to take it from there and you can see where things go.

Maybe on a break or lunch or something you go find him on break or lunch and just have a friendly chat, or if he has a desk when not delivering mail, stop by just to say hi.

[Alyssa11]

Playing hard to get will only attract the kind of men who like to play. You should be yourself. However showing that you have other interests, and that you’re not waiting around for him but have your own life, at the beginning of getting to know someone makes you more interesting.

[Shiro_Neverland]

this this this this this! it attracts the kind of dudes who are into the "game" but also tells you he enjoys playing in general. Not the best choice if you're looking for a long term relationship in my opinion

[Vikkrram]

I don't know one thing why the hell you want to play hard... if you are interested in him. Seriously i can tell you one thing for sure that the more hard you will play the more complicated you are making a man to take a move. Man can think that you might be not interested in her... Resulting Your man will go far away from You. And Why you girls always wait for a man to take move? Maybe he is waiting for ur confirmation... go ahead girl and tell your feelings.

[MrCommodore]

Don't try to make him jealous, as that has backfired a few times for girls with me, and years later when they told me, they realised the mistake.

I would suggest instead you apply a hot & cold strategy, but not in the usual way.
Hot - Be friendly, smile, eye contact, twirl your hair, ask for help and compliment him.
Cold - Don't be distant, but instead remain pleasant and just more distracted or busy, as if you have other priorities that day.

I think this might work

[AnonyWoman4309]

Ahh really making them jealous backfires how so? I think I may have made this mistake... D:

[MrCommodore]

@AnonyWoman4309: Its because we men don't actually think the same way women do. Women would see flirting with another guy as making themselves look more desirable and make him jealous.

But Men tend to often think in a more logical direct way, they see her flirting with another guy or lapping up attention from another guy, and he will assume she isn't genuinely into him and probably see a red flag for her

Women often are more indirect and subtle with flirting etc, they don't think on things the same way as men.

[IDontBelieveIt]

good answer

[AnonyWoman4309]

Dang, thank you for the clarification. I won't make this mistake again.

[EmiIyy]

It’s best to be straightforward honestly, sometimes guys like the chase but most other times from what I hear they’re just tired of it. I just stopped dating and am working on myself more than anything, I also know for a fact that also attracts male attention is when you work on yourself & your goals. Stay focused and have a good day! 😁

[Hassaniscool]

U did it

[Interstate]

You can't. He either feels the same for you or he doesn't. There is no such thing as getting somebody to be more interested in you. You CAN invite him for a coffee at a coffee shop or eatery and get to talk to him and see how he takes to you (and vice versa). Then spend time with him off and on and see what happens.

[McKellar]

If you get a shit ton of attention from other guys, than you must be like an instagram model or something.

If you are truly interested in this guy, I'm sorry for being this blunt to you but playing hard to get just to have this guy interested in you more doesn't help. If you play hard to get while being interested in him,... than you are going to give him mixed signals, he's not going to be able to make heads nor tails just to interpret successfully if you are interested in him or not,... and if you are interested in him,... you need to communicate with this guy & talk to him, tell him you want to get to know him.

I'm sure he'll be a very, very, very, very, VERY lucky guy to be in a relationship with an instagram model like yourself, and you'll end up having all of your male fans or only fans disappointed & jealous. ;-)

[Anonymous]

Let me get this straight. He brings you your mail at work. That is all he does. Does he say anything? If he *was* interested he'd take some time to talk, he'd arrive where you are earlier as example.

I mean at my work the mail guys, those who run mail to the offices from the mail room, can be quite cheeky. So they wink, smile and banter with people. Means nothing. And they often know all the gossip throughout the entire building.

You make a fool of yourself thinking he's interested when he has done little to show it and that'll be around the building by the end of the week.

[Jamie05rhs]

Honey, he's not going to ask you out. He's AT WORK. And it's probably a federal crime! Since he is a federal employee.


Also, if he's a high value man, playing hard to get is not going to make him want you. It's going to make him "next" you.

[hahahmm]

Unless he's in grade school or has ZERO self-respect that won't work. A man wants to know that you're interested and that's an ongoing thing. It's more like a game where you both kick the ball to each other playfully. Kicking the ball is giving the other person attention. It has to be mutual & back and forth all the way along.

[ButterflyHope]

I don’t play hard to get personally. I wouldn’t recommend it, causes a lot of problems (personal experience)
If I get a vibe his not trying or is simply not interested, i will ask him about it. (communication is important) because playing hard to get is a way to get ghosted, lol, learned the hard way.

[tatianamay]

Don’t play games. According to guys: of you’re interested, then you’re interested. Even if you seem a little disinterested (if you wanna play games) then they’re out

[tatianamay]

If you’re*

[friendzoned4life]

Truth only the bad boys, the Girls playing hard to get keep complaining about like that game.

We Just want you to be the exception to all the females thst ignore our existence

[tatianamay]

I don’t really understand what you mean, but yeah, bad boys get the girls because they have confidence, but then they dump the girl and the girl realizes that the good guy is better. If you observe, you’ll notice that in the end, it’s always the good guy who gets the girl and not the player. Some guys like chasing girls. You’ll notice that most pink anons who post questions on guy’s behavior ask why the guy is ghosting them after a few days even when they didn’t do anything wrong. Some guys like the thrill, but others don’t. in my opinion, I wouldn’t play any games, if I like the guy, I’ll tell him. I’m not interested in playing stupid games

[friendzoned4life]

We guys that don't wanna play the games. Are the guys that Just want u to tell us you like us.

But cockiness is mostly mistaken for confidence so it looks like only the bad boys are trying but actually it is like this:

www.reddit.com/.../

And I am one of those guys that is so done with the games I would rather date no one then commit to them

[tatianamay]

Yeah, haha, players will be players. I’m so done with players. I’m not into bad boys at all. They’re a waste of time and not worth the hype. I’m more into the “good guys” who are loyal, and caring

[tatianamay]

And yes, I’d tell a guy if I like him. I’d make the first move as I’m not scared of rejection… well, maybe because of my anxiety I won’t, but I’ll at least give him some signs or somehow try to tell him that I like him. I don’t play games

[friendzoned4life]

Yep that's what you all say, then blame us guys that actually try.

But the simple solution here is to stop playing games yourself

[friendzoned4life]

Signs don't work when the same signs mean different things at every woman

[tatianamay]

Lol, I’ve never dated anyone before, and there was this guy I liked, and despite my anxiety, I told him that I liked him. You don’t know about me. Do not generalize all women. Not all women are the same

[friendzoned4life]

In my experience they are

[tatianamay]

I don't know why you’re arguing with me now. You don’t have to. I literally just said: I don’t play games and asked other girls not to play games. You don’t know about me. Don’t talk as if you know everything about me. You don’t know that I actually went to this guy who was totally messed up in his own way and told him that I actually liked him. It’s uncommon, maybe you haven’t come across girls who haven’t made the first move, but I sure as heck have made the first move

[tatianamay]

I hate games. I don’t want to play mind games, I don’t think any girl would like that. Maybe it’s all because of the players. Maybe some are just too scared to tell the guy that they like him because they’re scared of rejection. I would somehow go and tell the guy that I like him if I genuinely do. I’m sure most guys hate mind games

[VIVANT]

Yeah that was weird you were literally saying you are direct dont like games shd don’t believe in then and don’t play then and he’s like all girls do

I can sympathize with him being frustrated but telling people they play games is no better then playing games. It’s anther form alienation. Not a good tactic if you’re looking to connect.

Anyhow it’s good you’re the way you are. Wish people would stop glorifying being treated like dirt from people who end up being really vapid anyhow.

[tatianamay]

@VIVANT yeah, exactly! I think he’s just met too many women who played him

[Tiptoetamm]

Flirt with him tease him but if your feeling him and he's feeling you go for it ask him on a date guys need to be asked out more they also want to feel special

[Slartybartfast]

A women who is disinterested, is also unattractive.

The most attractive quality of a women is her attraction to me.

Playing games is about the single most unattractive thing a women can do , and playing "hard to want" is the dumbest game of all.

[Jamie05rhs]

This is so true!!

[ProCoffeeAntiSleep]

Just ask him out. Its strange women never consider this an option, but I guess a silver lining to that is because it doesn’t happen often, making the first move will automatically put you in the top 20-15%.
Seriously, games backfire more often than not and any reason you think asking him out isn’t an option is less true than you think

[IDontBelieveIt]

Like most guys don't play those games, If I meet a woman that plays games straight away it will be on your bike life's too short had it happen lots of times you can't make feel wanted why should I do it for you?