If I told a guy I would still want to date him even if he was poor, would that make him want to date me, or would he have to be attracted to me first?

[Bethany22]

One of men's biggest insecurities is wondering whether a woman would still want them if they didn't have a job. Does that mean I can use that to increase my attractiveness to a man? Like say a guy wasn't showing any interest in me, but then I tell him that I like him, and that I would still go out with him even if he didn't have a job or money. Would that make his ears (and dick) perk up?

[AndrewJordon99]

It could, maybe. I remember a sort of average looking girl who I wouldn't have thought much about but when she seemed (probably just her friendly nature on her part, I think she was married) hyper focused on me willing to help and stuff I felt something there. Don't see her right now and barely spent much time with her, so right now my feelings kind of faded away. I also have deep rooted issues with wanting some form of intimate relationships though, so there's that.

[Anonymous]

Nope. If she’s ugly she’s still ugly. Not going to increase her chances. Besides when you say something like that, that is date him even if he’s poor sounds like a put down. Like him saying even though you have all that acne I’d still date you. Not sure if that’s similar. But to me that’s a put down about him being broke.

[Firemedic2105]

NO! If you have a guy you like and he is poor and you have been dating some and know he is concerned about it then you could tell him that money isn't important. Like I dated a girl who made 4x what do and had inherited over 20 mil from her grandfather... I lived in a small apt and she lived in a huge house on the beach and was getting a divorce (but everything was hers not his). So when she expressed that money wasn't important and insisted that I let her pay any time we went out it did help me be more relaxed. When she told me later she liked me so much she was afraid I wouldn't be interested bc she was still married and that she gave her ex $60,000 (a years salary) to sign the divorce papers the day we first met so she could honestly tell me it was just waiting on paperwork, I KNEW beyond any doubt that she was into me. (It sounds crazy but when I teased her ab it a couple months later she showed me the canceled check in the banks app lol). The truth is she was BEAUTIFUL, sweet, amazing body, one of the best and tightest... I had ever had (literally imagine gripping the D as tight as possible and add at least 50%... I had had 14 virgins at that point and only the 4' 10", 86 lb one was tighter), and I was head over heels for her.

Anyway, point is that you should NEVER lead with that!!! You will make the guy think you see him as poor regardless if he is or how hard he works!!! But once in a relationship if you sense that is an issue he worries ab then it's fine to address it. Just make sure you mean it and it's not just something you are saying (esp if you are old enough to actually have a real long term relationship!)

With the girl U mention above, I honestly would have loved her if she was poor and had nothing!!! Her family forced us apart bc I only made $70k/yr and wasn't any better than her ex to them. But to this day, 12 years later, I would do anything to be with her again!!! She is referred to as "she who shall not be named" bc my wife was dumb enough to ask me if there was anyone I would ever leave her for and I was dumb enough to be honest and told her the truth! 🤣🤷🏻‍♂️

[Bethany22]

Where did you meet 14 virgins?

[Flatmanlewis]

Huh.

[Crimsyjo]

Honestly I think no. I think if a guy is attracted to you and you say that then his interest might grow (if he thinks u r saying u wd like him as much even if poor. Not if he knew u were saying it to try to be more attractive). If a guy is not attracted to you then he will not increase attraction for you. He may even disrespect you as having low values. And if he were to "show interest" his motivation would be as a user and not as a good man.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I think that would have the reverse effect. If he was attracted to you and you came out with that? It would most likely put him off.

Let's see if I can make an analogy to explain my point.

If you weren't interested in him, but he was to say to you 'I'd still want to date you even if you couldn't have kids'

Would you not be put off by that at the flirting stage of a relationship?

[Bethany22]

Probably the female equivalent to finances is beauty. If he said he'd still want me even if I was a burn victim, that might turn me on

[Flatmanlewis]

I don’t think it’s much of a compliment. I also think there are different kinds of poor. For example, ‘having no job and busy eating these chips and playing video games’ poor is a whole lot different than ‘struggling poor as I put myself through medical school’ poor.


It’s not a deal breaker or maker but being supportive of a man in his ups & downs is a good thing. Just not something you throw out in a intro.

[echoaj]

I disagree with the people who say it would make the guy like you less. You gotta be pretty weird or insecure to not take that as a compliment.

I will say, it won't make the guy more attracted to you but he will think you are more genuine and it will be a small plus for the guy. At the end of the day, men just care about looks, body, and personality. We are too visual.

[Bethany22]

Small plus. Not big plus. Wow. Men are so shallow

[OfMiceandMen]

I don't think it's a good idea to play on anyone's insecurities to make oneself look more attractive and I don't think you have to go that far. If you are just sensitive to him not being employed at the time (because it may not be his choice in the matter) that should be enough for him see the kindness in the person in front of him. If he doesn't then he's a dumbass and move on.

[Med_guy1978]

I think this wouldn't make him want you more, this will just make him realise you are not into him for his status or money. I wouldn't push this in his face too much, if he's lazy and doesn't want a job then this would only encourage him. On the other side, if he's willing and looking for work, you should help and encourage him to do so. If he doesn't show interest, these kind words will not do you any big favours.

[superchan2011]

it depends really. Some guys might like that especially if they were already attracted to you first. But some guys might take that as an insult because they might see it as you saying that their poor status is a bad thing.

[Purpleronnie]

As nice as that might be to hear , I would feel less than if I couldn’t pay my way with a woman at the very least. I don’t take charity. Would not do much for my self esteem at all

[JacobJordan]

Telling a guy something is about as useful as trying to stop a flood with your hand. You have to show the guy it doesn't matter. We are visual not auditory creatures

[Unicornrose]

Watch out for a guy who wants a sugar moma. All I got to say

[Billlewis]

I love your style, and I just started following you. I'd like to invite you to follow me as well, if that's alright. Thank you very much.

[NathanDavis]

if he gets a boner about the idea of being broke... why would you want a guy like that... lol

[IslaTheWitch]

shouldn't you both be attracted to each other first to even discuss the idea of dating?

[Anonymous]

Every person man or woman has to at least be somewhat attracted to the other person. Yes, being non judgmental with a man will increase your attractiveness with a man. But not if he was NEVER attracted to you to begin with.

[Slapmynuts]

Some people are so money hungry and are driven to do whatever it takes for financial security to include pretending/faking a relationship. Looks here mean absolutely nothing!😁

[KrakenAttackin]

No, because he knows it can't work long term. Unless a guy is a total Fuck -Boy Chad, no woman will tolerate an unemployed/underemployed "dusty" man for more than a hot minute.

[MsBrie]

If He's attracted to You it might motivate him if not He might only think it's sweet.

[Anonymous]

You are very cute and if the guy isn't attracted to you, something's wrong with him.

[Amur8711]

No matter what, he will always have to find you attractive in some way in my opinion. But yes you assuring him its not for his money helps ease his mind.

[Likes2drive]

At least it would let him know you’re not a gold digger