Why am I always the second choice?

[Anonymous]

Without sounding arrogant. I'm very attractive, educated, doing well financially and caring to those who are nice to me. And I've been single for 2 yrs.

I often attract the wrong guy, either they chase me and other girls at the same time and ended up choosing the girl who only has half my quality. Or I would attract guys who are already taken but just chasing me for the thrill, and they would pull back when I show interest (before we get physical)

Some girls I know who are not very attractive and such but have the power to make men leave their partner / wifes for them. Is there something I'm missing? If so what is it?

[MrOracle]

My guess? You are more serious about the way you live your life, and the other girls are more "fun" (even if it means being irresponsible) and overtly sexual, and the (immature) guys that you are dealing with are choosing those girls over you. Which doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you; it means that you're around immature guys who haven't learned to value what you bring to the table yet.

How old are the guys you're dating? If it's less than 30, that's your problem. Guys in their 20s are still in "play" mode, and most aren't serious about life yet.

[Asker]

I do have my serious side. But I have my fun side as wel, people who know me would know I'm funny. Not dating anyone at the momet. But I do get both young and mature guys approaching me, I'm cold to those I have no interest in.this gu in his mid 30s has been showing interest, whe show him I'm interest as well he pulls away

[MrOracle]

In that case, forget him and move on. There are plenty of people, men and women, who are confused or just not ready for a relationship, so if it doesn't click right away, disengage and move on. Don't spend so much energy trying to salvage something that isn't working from the start.

[Asker]

Yep he's not worth it. It just frustrating to see this keep happening for 2 yrs. will ignore him and move on

[stubbsy]

No your not missing anything, but you might be coming across as to sure of your talents. try not to put to much on how much you know your worth, but remain concious of it, this should help guys feel as if they are worthy of you, because scaring a guy off will ripple through the community, and make you almost un-approachable, your talents wong go un-noticed, good luck,x

[Asker]

Thsnks I really need luck :( I never tell guys about my mone. I actually am very shy deep down even I'm aware of my talent.

There is this gentlement at work who has been super nice to me but lately he pull away from me as well. It makes me think I must have done something wrong :(

[stubbsy]

No, I wouldn't say you have done something wrong, more that he thinks your out of his league possibly, try reassuring him by mentioning a drink sometime with him, it could help regain his confidence, good luck,x

[Asker]

He knows I'm cold to those I'm not interested in. But I actively say hi to him 3 times and he pulled away by avoiding eye contact wth me. So he is aware I'm interested, he went from actively seeking my attention and doing me favors to ice cold to me

[stubbsy]

well in that case, don't make any effort, because if he is interested, he won't risk losing out to someone else by leaving it to late, so the less you do, will tell him he needs to do more, good luck,x

[Asker]

Yes I should pull away so he should make effort again. And if he doesn't I know he's not interested and I wot make myself a fool. Sometimes I feel like I've been cursed. Cos very time I show interest they pull away

[humble_bee]

I can't give any advice but I think what you need to do is waiting for the right "time" for a guy to find you. And open your heart for every one either who will make you happy or hurt you. It's easier said than done... I am in such the same situation, it's not easy but let's not giving up :)

[Asker]

Yea it's hard.. When I Let someone I they pull away :(

[NihilisticSoul]

Do you love yourself? Think about that for 24 hours and meditate on it before getting back to me.

[SalsaShark9]

Maybe you're not as awesome as you think you are?