Does my coworker (whom I like) like me?

This will be long.

He's a coworker I met almost 6 months ago. I'm 17, he's 20. He's a gamer kind of guy. The age difference doesn't bother him, because he dated a girl in my grade before.

He seemed disinterested in meeting any of the new employees when my group was hired, but he and I became friends pretty easily. Since then we've been to movies together about 5 times. One time we went just the two of us, but it wasn't a date. All of our coworkers were bugging us about it when we met up, though. "Oooh, are you on a daaate heehee" type thing. He always sits beside me in the theatre. A few times his friends had saved him a seat but he declined and sat with me anyway.

He kind of gravitates toward me at work and work parties.

He asked my opinion on whether he should aim to always be clean-shaven or if he should have some stubble. I told him a bit of stubble is hot and since then he's taken my advice religiously.

One time we were in a group talking at work and someone made a joke at me, and even though it wasn't intended to hurt my feelings, he defended me.

He and I do a lot of playful flirting, whether it be conversational or throwing crap at each other. Lame teenager stuff.

He asks me if I like a certain show, or comic book series, etc. and when I say no, he offers me his copy and has even said he'd buy it just so he could lend it to me.

He tells people he doesn't like conversational texting, that if there's no point to a conversation that he won't reply. He starts random, kinda irrelevant conversations with me. Not every day or anything, but a few times a week.

He makes jokes at me sometimes, and by the end of it he's always beaming. He smiles at me a lot, considering the fact that he's not a terribly smiley guy.

So I like him. I hope he's interested in me. Feel free to ask any questions about him/me. Anything.

Thanks so much for stopping by, even if you just skimmed through!

So all the answers here helped me build up courage, and I confessed to him of my crush. He was really nice about it. He's a great guy, really. He wasn't interested.

I'm not sure if he was leading me on or if he was just shooting for an awesome friendship. He said to me he doesn't want to ruin what we've got, and even though I had a sour mood for a while, I agreed. He's awesome and we have so much fun when we're together, so somehow I'm okay being friend-zoned. :) Thanks for your thoughts!


Most Helpful Guy

  • There's a possibility that he likes you. But some people are different and their actions may lean towards them liking you but in reality it could just be that he's being very kind in a friendly way.


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What Guys Said 12

  • He is DEFINITELY into you! He smiles at you because he really likes you. He likes you so much he's even okay going to the movies with you when he knows it's not even a real "date." He had your back when somebody dissed you. As for the random, irrelevant conversations he starts with you . . . well look: Sometimes we guys just sort of mumble around when we want to be saying SOMETHING but we don't really have the perfect thing to say. The important thing is that he's talking to YOU. Whatever the hell it is he's mumbling about it doesn't matter. This guy likes you for sure.

    • I read your update, and even though I was wrong about what this guy wanted, I'm just so struck and impressed by your amazing attitude about it. I really admire that you let him know how you felt. From the way you wrote your question I know that you are really smart, and from your photo you are a very attractive girl. Hugs and pats on the back for you! : )

    • It's so kind of you to say something like this. :) Thanks so much! I really appreciate it. Hugs indeed! :p

  • He likes you and he's shy. Be flirty and fun. Hopefully he will take the hint eventually, but if not, there's nothing wrong with just telling him you want him to make a move.

    He may be on the fence because you're not 18 yet, in which case, don't take that personally. Sounds like it's more that he's shy though.

  • I'm gonna go with a big stubbly YES! and here is why:

    1)If he is gravitating towards you this means he enjoys your company and want to spend more time with you, this can be seen as just him being friendly but if he is doing it religiously I'd say there is definitely more to it.

    2)If he is asking you whether he should be clean-shaven or stubbly what he is really saying is "What do you prefer?" The reason for this is so that he can do what you prefer and maximize his chances of you liking him back. Although it may also be seen that he may just be asking for friendly advice, if this were the case then he may shave completely now and then rather than religiously making sure he is stubbly when in your presence.

    3) The way I like to think of things like; him very actively defending you even when not explicitly necessary, is as a kind of Hypochondriac type thing, his mind tells him that if he takes even that chance to defend you then you will like him because he is willing to defend your honor over even something frivolous.

    4) Flirting is the simplest form of courtship it doesn't matter how simple, if its flirting he likes you, its as simple as that, there is more of a biological/psychological technicality to this but it is a very large read so I won't go into it, unless you ask me to.

    5) Offering to buy you things even when you have graciously say no is a sign of caring for you, he wants to buy you that comic book (despite you not wanting him to pay for it), so that you can enjoy it. He simply enjoys seeing you happy.

    6) If he doesn't like text'ing when there is no point to the text, but texts you pointlessly this shows that he cares enough about you to want to talk to you, even without a subject.

    7) Smiling is an excellent sign, its even better when he isn't really a smiley guy. This simply shows he really enjoys your company, and maybe that he can even tell you enjoy his.

    If I am to be honest I would say take the plunge and ask him out, don't waste time, it would be a shame to let the love slip through your fingers.


    Note: I didn't just skim this, I did a detailed response because I am trying to rid the world of girls who think too low of themselves when they are in fact beautiful, one article at a time.


    • This is a wonderful and insightful response.. Thank you so much! You make me feel confident and good about myself. :) I don't know if I could ask him out... if I don't, am I really risking losing love? LOVE is such a strong word... it makes me nervous!

      The biological/psychological technicality to flirting is a large read I would certainly be interested in. If you go into it, or even send me a link to an article... I would read the whole darn thing. :)

  • Sounds like he likes you. Only thing that makes me uncertain is that he asked for your advice on shaving - usually I and other guys don't ask people we like for advice on looking good until we're sure asking them won't kill the mood or anything. It's almost like asking someone what to get them for their birthday, you know? You mainly wanna look good for this person, but that doesn't mean you should ask them how to look good for them.

    Other than that though, it does sound like he likes you, but try not to get your hopes up. There's a chance you've just been friend zoned, so for now just play it cool and be his friend. Maybe flirt more with him and see how he reacts. But just go with the flow for now.

    • @Update: Awesome! Shame he's not interested, but at least you get to keep this awesome friendship. And don't worry, you'll meet other guys. Hey, this guy might even help you meet other guys if you want haha! :)

    • Look at it this way you found out the easy way and still get to keep him somewhat close. It usually doesn't work this way in my cases at least

  • Yes, he's interested in you. Guys usually provide special attention only to their family and to someone they really like.

    Maybe he's not making a move because you failed to convey that you're interested in him through your actions/words. All men doesn't want to risk rejection, that's why they're waiting for your indicators and they will take it from there. Or if you do conveyed your feelings to him, perhaps he's just waiting for time.

    • What kind of indicators would work? Haha. I'm terrible at this kind of thing. What could I do to show him? Maybe even make it obvious without saying "I like you too."

  • He does like you. But a big warning don't let this relationship go public at work. I've seen many of relationships rise and fall hard to the ground because it was associated with work. I too liked a girl I worked with but rumors spread and she backed off and I was left there trying to talk to her at work while rumors were being spread of an obsession with her. Now I can only look at her from afar and it kills me inside. Take it from me a guy with experience don't go after coworkers.

    • There's a few people in my workplace who are dating... and people don't spread rumors about their personal lives. There may be some problems with them clinging to each other at work but that's it. If he and I were to start dating and it became a problem at our workplace, I'd be willing to get a job somewhere else. No big deal. I'm excited you think he might like me though!

    • I can guarantee if something bad happens in any of those relationships rumors will be spread around. I have just seen girls miserable because they couldn't separate work and pleasure. Been there and done that and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone

  • Of course he likes you and when you turn 18 you guys should date.

  • Yeah, but just remember... "Don't sh*t where you eat".

    • At this point I'm more interested in him than I am in my job. Now that sounds really, really stupid, but I'm in high school and would be doing better in my classes if I was unemployed anyway. So if he and I were to start dating and it created problems at work, I'd quit. I wouldn't be too beat up about it.

    • Well, in that case, do what you want lol...

  • Yes your co-worker (whom you like) likes you :-)

  • You're 17, really?...I thought you were, 85

    • No I'm 17. I apologize for the Over 45 thing. I don't know how that got there, I just signed up. Derp.

    • Anyway...I don't condone working with coworkers...or guys of 20 (if you're 17) even if he does (and I'm not saying he does or doesn't) I really suggest that you don't go out with him...that's all I will say about this

  • I am 46.64% sure he is in love with you

  • Dear (Age: over 45) ... am I addressing a liar?

    Coworkers love to tease about such attractions & he is attracted

    He is searching for some things in common for more interaction

    He likes you

    He seems to be trying hard to get some sort of response from you that equals his overt attraction but it seems from this report that you just observe, report, respond only when prodded. Are you a dead fish?

    • Forgive me for the over 45 thing. I just signed up and I don't know wtf I'm doing. lol. It was a mistake, I am most definitely 17.

      I don't know how to respond, to be honest. How do I show him I like him back? I have never liked anyone who liked me before, ever. I'm pretty lost but I want it to work out.

    • Ah, 17 - small wonder - remember what you listed about him? Smiles, trying to find something in common by fishing with this/that? Ape that for lack of better ideas. Now view, then think about him, what he likes, where he goes, then ask questions about all that to see what you might also like about any of that. Still lost? His sister could be your best friend in such matters.

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