I can't tell if he's ignoring me because he likes me or doesn't like me.

[Quorra89]

I started a new part time job about 3 months ago. I like a guy that is in charge of the cashiers. I had a feeling from the first time I saw him that some feelings would develop for him. I tried to fight it but I have feelings for him. I come off very shy and quiet, but I have made an effort to talk to him and he has seen me joke around with my other co-workers. I'm a good worker. I work hard, help out as much as I can, and do what I'm told. I've wanted him to have a good impression of me which is why I make sure I continue to be a good worker.

Anyway, he talks really easily to my other co-workers and will joke around with the other girls. But when it comes to me, we don't really talk. We'll talk when I ask him how his weekend was and what not but as soon as he answers the conversation dies. He also is a shy guy but like I said, he will joke around with my other co-workers. With the other workers that have been there for a while, he talks really easily with them. With the workers that were hired with me, he's still hesitant around them but he will joke around with them. However when it comes to me, silence. The other day it was just the two of us for the first two hours, and we didn't talk a whole lot. It was more just standing around waiting for customers. I know that sometimes a guy will be quiet around the girl he likes. But maybe he just doesn't really like me and therefore doesn't talk?

The following things I have a feeling are just me making something out of nothing because I want him to like me, but maybe I'm wrong...

-He has a lot of places he can stand within the cashiering area, but he tends to stand behind me a lot.

-I can feel him watching me and when I turn to look around just to see if he really is looking at me, I can see out of the corner of my eye that he is.

-I have a feeling he's just been doing this one because he is in charge of the other cashiers, but when a customer isn't understanding something, he'll stop what he's doing and listen to the conversation. He won't butt in or cut me off, even if I am catching a tone with the customer or not doing something for the customer I know fully well I can do but won't because they're being rude. I know his reason for not stepping in is because we have the same mindset when it comes to difficult customers and returns without tags/receipts.

-When he's on the register next to mine, he tends to kind of invade my personal space. If he's helping another cashier that's standing next to me, he's usually standing next to me while helping instead of on the other side, even if it means he's facing away from the customer. I've caught us standing very close together and neither of us moving.

-We've had accidental/"accidental" bumps. Our hands hooked around each others' one time and he didn't say anything but he didn't look at me either. Just acted like it didn't happen.

-I'll catch him laughing at something funny I'm saying when I don't even think he's listening.

*I'll continue this in "update'*

Updates

+1 y

-When another co-worker says my name I'll catch him pulling his attention away from whatever he's doing and look in my direction.

-If someone is joking around with me, he'll come into the conversation and add his own jokes in. Even if he was off doing something else.

-I can sense "tension" between us but not bad tension. Just the kind of tension when you sense there's chemistry. But it could be just me and I know that.

-Sometimes he'll speak softer to me than he does with anyone else.

Updates

+1 y

Oh I forgot two other things. When he finds a small piece of paper or a tag to throw out he almost always throws it away in my trash can. Every single register has its own trashcan and he tends to normally walk over to one I'm standing near to throw it out. The other thing is one time he was replenishing scrap paper at my register & he didn't say excuse me or anything & completely invaded my personal space. I'm talking my nose could've touched his arm if I leaned half an inch forward. Then the

Updates

+1 y

papers fell forward and got messed up and he had to fix it and still didn't move his arm. He just kept it there while he fixed it. I started smiling and then nervously laughed. I didn't look at his face to see if he was smiling too though, I was too nervous.

[Anonymous]

Well I've got a couple things bouncing around in my head here, I'll try to get it out in a logical order of some sort.

First, he's a coworker and that's automatically not the greatest of circumstances. However, it doesn't sound like a career move (sure well hope not at least haha), so if things fall apart it wouldn't be the end of the world to just get a cashier job somewhere else. I had a friend who had a bad falling out with somebody she worked with and it just made her job miserable. It was a total mistake, her words. Also, he's the head cashier? So you can almost bank on the fact he's not going to hit on you and will probably avoid any possible act that could be construed as such. Why? Corporate is usually pretty serious about those sort of things, and if he misreads the situation, for all he knows a girl could go running to HR. I've worked retail for some years back in the day and I've sadly seen that happen too. If he's considered in a higher position than you, there might be policy against any sort of dating and such because of favoritism in the workplace. Not sure, but it's possible.

As for his actions, it can be explained a couple ways. The first way, he actually does like you. Hooray. That means he's probably being shy and you just need to get an ice breaker going. My go to is usually music or comedy, something like that. Try to get it to lead to something that ends with you making plans outside work. Bar, coffee, some other casual activity, whatever. Something that isn't work where you two will be seeing each other. If he doesn't go for it, you misread the situation.

Second way it can be explained? He might think you don't like him so he feels like he has to watch his step around you. Perhaps your shyness has been interpreted as coldness and attitude. Probably not, but bigger misunderstandings have been known to happen, so you can't rule it out.

Third way, which I have found myself caught in once or twice, you're the victim of a mirage. You're seeing things you swear are signs, but they aren't actually there. You start over-thinking things and analyze little details that the person put absolutely no subtle message behind and try to interpret them. Since you want him to like you, you don't just see these signs but interpret them favorably. More so, you might even be ignoring the same "signs" that might punch holes in your hopes. Nothing to feel bad about, happens to the best of us when we start thinking about a situation too much instead of just letting it play out.

In my experience, I think you should go into it with the assumption the first possibility is most likely. Spark up a conversation and try to get a hang out that's outside of work. You'll be able to gauge things much more accurately outside of the workplace. No co-workers, no bosses, no need to be all professional. Go with that, let us know how it goes.

[Quorra89]

Thanks for your answer. I will update on what happens (if something happens). I'm just afraid that because I do want him to like me, that maybe what I'm reading into is situation #3 ha.

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. Like I said, I've been in that third spot before. It sucks, but honestly, if you go under the presumption it's the first one and it turns out it was just imagined, the sooner it happens the better. If you wait a month, that's a month worth of time you wasted wondering what he thinks, whether he likes you, and not keeping your eye out for some other potential guy who might actually be interested.

[ArtistBboy]

Re "Third way" (Signs)... Ingenious and correct. The whole time I read the question I kept referencing the first sentence and most of it clicked together, there are a few odd-ball moments but there isn't enough context about who this mystery-man is, in order for me to fit the other pieces... I mean, is he 18-25 as a "head cashier" or are we talking 30++ ? Does he wear rings? etc.. Signs only work when you look at all of them together, a few might just make one suspicious and analytical.

[LaVillaStrangiato]

I'm an older dude, and I can tell you that the nervousness never goes away when you are around a crush. You can convince yourself to settle down and be cool, but there are still butterflies.

When a guy is trying to woo a shy girl that he knows likes him, she will show ioi's but will typically not be much of a conversationalist. The guy will try and try to talk to her and make her laugh and connect with him, but she's so nervous that she can't really talk back, or ask questions, or otherwise engage.

After a while, the guy will simply lose interest and move on to another woman who can engage with him on a deeper level. Even though he's picking up ioi's, it just gets old after a while... thinking about what to say and how to keep the conversation going only to see it really go nowhere.

You need to try to engage the guy in some meaningful conversation. It's not ALL about sex for most of us, we need to know that if we got together that you'd be able to keep us happy, engaged, excited and interested.

[nermalinda]

He likes you, but he's shy. Also, he doesn't want to cause problems at work. If he didn't like you, he'd treat you much more normally, as their wouldn't even be anything for him to worry about. One of the biggest signs a guy likes you is that he somewhat ignores you in a way that's awkward.

Even if a guy doesn't like you, he won't ignore you in quite that awkward way.

Also, if a guy is always looking at you, he likes you, at least he likes how you look. Guys don't spend lots of time looking at something they don't like.

[gitana379]

I think he's trynna give you signs thst he's attracted to you but doesn't want anyone at work to kno because hehas to b professional you kno..maybe if you caught him alone and slipped him your number and see what happens..maybe he's waiting for your approach first to feel confident enough to talk to you and not b rejected

[Quorra89]

Yeah, I know it's harder because it's work and he is in charge of us. We were alone in the break room one time while he ate his lunch. I caught him looking at me but he didn't talk, just kept eating his sandwich. I started some light conversation but like I said, as soon as he answers the question, it dies haha. I don't know if he's nervous or if he just doesn't like me.

[gitana379]

Hes afraid of the consequences that can happen..remember that not only is he your coworker but he's also your boss and you kno that's not permitted in a work environment..maybe he wants to have something with you outside of work without anyone knowing..n that's perfectly fine because you work together

[Quorra89]

Yeah. I definitely understand him being worried about it if he does like me. Thanks

[krissykarma]

Hello,

I think if you sense chemistry it could definitely be there. But I would remember that he is your supervisor so that could be why he is standing behind you and you feel him looking at you. I've read that guys are shy when they like girls. That hasn't been my experience but I have heard this is true!

[Quorra89]

Very true, thanks!

[Summeroflove]

Try asking him out and talking to him. If he point blank ignores you. Just move on. People who won’t talk to you aren’t worth your time

[420cuteWhiteBoy]

I have the very same problem with a gorgeous girl I work with but baby girl if you wanna know what I think boo hear it is.I'm just guessing buy your conversation always dies because he's shy around you and he wants to make sure he doesn't say anything dumb to you lol.I'm not exactly sure but hears one way you can tell if that's true.when you look at him and give him eye contact does he look away really fast?is so he likes you a lot and is very shy around you. Another way you can tell is if he's always talking just fine to somebody else but when you walk in all asudden he gets quiet because you walked in the room. Ya ono what I'm saying boo? There's all kinda little ways to tell if a guy likes you' I've just gotta study his body motion. Well I hope that helps you little momma! Now please look me up an answer a ? For me okay?

[MrWhiteGuy420]

Nice name lol

[bobbyjackson]

I definitely think he`s into you. The combination of his shyness and the fact that he`s your boss prevents him from taking any steps.

If you really like him, you could escalate the flirting. I mean, the job is maybe not the biggest loss anyway. He should step up and take initiative, but might not dare before he knows for certain that you like him, so escalate would be my advice.

Good luck

[Quorra89]

Thanks. I've managed to get over my nerves a little bit and kind of start turning the gears a little bit. So far so good.

[MrWhiteGuy420]

After reading some of the posts and your reply, I feel sorry for your boss. You sound like drama looking for a place to happen. This guy won't be just losing a Cashiers job but it will be a negative mark on his record that could keep him from being successful. You should be ashamed of yourself for thinking of only yourself! I think you're crazy!

[Quorra89]

I'm not, I try to keep things as simple as possible. I just have feelings for him, that's all. But thanks.

[CadenceB]

Don't date your boss. If he's coming on to you, it's an abuse of his position, no matter what the provocation. These are the kinds of things that end up in court.

If he is flirting with you, and other than the fact that he's your boss, everything is cool, he could still lose his job over it. Either find a way to get him to stop, or start seeing each other away from work.

But again, you strongly recommend not dating your boss.

[martyfellow]

He no doubt senses your inerest in him, and that may make you off limits because most companies discourage people in management from fraternizing with people they are supposed to supervise.

So he's normally nervous around you If he shares the attraction, that may just make him more nervous and ill at ease. He'll be afraid of starting gossip among your co-workers, for one thing!

[BigRed64]

I would guess he has feelings for you judging form all the things that you have said its obvious that he feels different about you than what he does your other female coworkers. You said he is shy so I know that normally its the guy that's supposed to make the first move, but if you really like him you might have to be the one to make it.

[Patchers]

I think he likes you. But does not know what to do about it.

1 he works with you and doesn't want things to go bad between you and him.

2 you said he was shy. I can be a bit shy myself and when there is a girl I like I find it hard to talk to her. There is more pressure on him to say the right thing.

3. Ask him if he liked to do some thing out of work. Can be any thing go see a band together or just go for a drink after work together.

[Anonymous]

From the sounds of it he probably likes you. Agree with some of the others that he probably feels like he can't act on it because he is your boss. I'm guessing this is just a part time job to get through school kind of thing for both of you? Not a career? If so I don't see the big deal about giving this a go. Your sure there's no gf? I didn't notice you mention one way or the other but it sounds like something you would have heard about by now.

[Quorra89]

Yeah it's a part time job for the both of us. I'm still in school. He has graduated and is working at our store. I know he doesn't plan on working there forever, but I'm not sure what he's doing on the job search front. I asked him without trying to pry too much and he just said the jobs he has applied to, they go for the guy with experience as opposed to the new kid out of school.

[Quorra89]

Forgot to answer your other question, no there's no girlfriend as far as I know. It's something that would've popped up in conversation by now since we've talked about some of our friends and family, and what we've been doing since college. I'm in college but taking the semester off.

[Opinion Owner]

Well no one here can know for sure if he likes you other than him, but if I were to guess with what you've told us, I'd say he does. I think you should initiate something, because if he does, he's too shy to act on it. Worst case is he doesn't, but at least you know and don't have to keep wondering.

[DeathTheKidHere]

This guy obviously has a crush (or maybe more) and feels childish about it. He is comfortable around other people, but not around you. He is nervous, and doesn't talk a lot because he is worried about what you'll think about what he says. I would just try to little things, like make a few jokes when you talk to him. It should make him more comfortable around you.

[Quorra89]

Thanks for your answer. I've been able to amp up the conversations recently between us and I've gotten him to joke around and open up. I can tell he's loosening up. We've had some really nice, light, conversations the past few days. It has actually switched from me asking him how things are going, to him inquiring things about me.

[PhilaPenn]

Wow, you are really attentive. Idk, I'm not seeing a lot of signs of him being into you. You may like him a little too much. Take it from me, retail it's never a good idea to hook up with people you work with. It's a really bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Another one of those situations where a boss takes advantage of his position, and a girl tries to date the boss for her own benefits.

Did you fall for a cashier boy? Of course not. You had to go with the boss of the cashiers. How typical...

Women like money, fame a security. Nothing more. They don't like men one bit. The only people that really like and are attracted to men by itself are gay guys.

[Quorra89]

It doesn't benefit me at all actually. He basically IS a cashier. He just has "lead" before the word "cashier". I'd understand where you were coming from if I liked a CEO of the company. He's a lead cashier, who makes a few bucks more than I do... not rolling in the money here. He's not taking advantage of his position either. I don't have feelings for him because I'm looking for security or to advance in the company. I fell for him because he's a sweet guy and I enjoy his company.

[Donna653]

I see women falling for the cashier boy about as often as I see good looking males falling for land whales. So what? Men are who they are, women are who they are, and who the hell are you to shame the questioner for that? If you can't say anything helpful, then maybe you shouldn't say anything at all.

[rougecerise]

It depends, maybe he's similar to you, maybe he's worried about his work if he choses to go with you, or maybe he's with someone else?

Have you asked other co-workers, or just get enough balls and ask him!

[datingchronicles]

Clearly he's interested to some degree, but may not know how to actually approach you. Have you suggested grabbing coffee or a drink after work? sometimes as women, we just have to make the first move if our crush is even shyer than we are. if you don't, it seems this could go on forever without any movement in the right direction.

[Yeahhbro]

He don't like you enough as simple as that, I don't give a damn if he is your coworker or if work is in between, if you really like somebody you make it work.

[jeston]

admin

[nhardin289]

You need to watch a movie called "He's just not that into you".

[Quorra89]

I have. I own it too.

[Premonition]

Sounds like he likes you an is torn between keeping it professional an deciding what to make of you.

[WhitneySnow]

I think he really likes you and that’s why he’s shy around you

[Anonymous]

If he is ignoring you, simply ignore him back. There is no reason for you to run after a guy who is not paying proper attention to you.

[nhardin289]

EXACTLY!

[jeepingjerry]

Gal it sounds simple to me this guy has a thing for you and doesn't know what to do with it , I would grab the bull by the horns and ask him to have lunch or dinner with you, dutch of course ..