Dear 'Some' Passive-Aggressive, Cowardly, Anonymous Female Users, You Suck

[AmandaYVR]

Today I came across an anon post from a pink user on one of my qs. She proceeded to tear into me for what she considers to be my inferior morality. I spent some time composing a response to her (we are allowed different views and opinions on here - the entire site is based on that, not to mention sharing of ideas and information) but she has already blocked me, preventing me from defending, justifying, and responding on my own topic. Her attitude prompted me to write this MyTake, something I thought I would never do.

Why am I suddenly so motivated? Because she perfectly epitomizes a type of female that is a big problem in this world. She is a self-righteous, uncompassionate, condemning, coward. And why am I singling her out? Because she, like so many women, chose to post anon. And this is what women do. (NOT ALL, BUT MANY)

She pretends to be so moral, and right, and good, but she sits on her throne of justice, doling out opinions yet is too weak to stand by her convictions, too afraid to do it with transparency. A man will come in, 'pow pow', slam, insult, disagree, troll. But a woman will come in and try and destroy your entire identity, and they will take pleasure in taking a long time to do it. Again, 20,000 wpd and is it all important? Necessary? Valid? True? Just? Give me a fucking break.

@CoachTAnthony posed the q, 'Do women expect men to be mind-readers?' It's been a very interesting and lively discussion about the ins and outs of this. But many women, I notice, refuse to concede that there could be any validity to this. Also, when I posed a q asking if any men or women would like to apologize, on behalf of their gender, to the opposite sex, the women remained almost unanimously silent. And when I wrote a neutral comment about brain physiology, which just so happened to benefit the men, women again, remained silent. What I am seeing right now is vicious, passive-aggressive, not taking ownership of any wrongdoing, and you wonder why some men are so angry.

And I do not appreciate being accused of "betraying (my) own gender". I am on the side of right and justice. That is it.

[R4vedave]

I love your takes on these things. Almost everything you've put out there has been well worded, well thought out, and in my opinion, fairly accurate.

There definitely seems to be this double standard that some women enjoy participating in, being judgmental and criticizing yet then go back to acting as though they're spotless individuals. Good take 👌

[Andreadeb]

I'm so touched I could cry...

Thank you!

[SydneySentinel]

Totally agree. When a person is attacking, the anon function is for cowards.

I don't remember seeing the question about apologizing on behalf of our gender. I did recently ask if certain behaviors from your own gender are frustrating because they add to stereotypical assumptions that all men/women are the same.

[AmandaYVR]

That's a good q. Did I reply on that? You can link here, if you want. Sounds controversial though. I could see me skipping it because it would depress me too much.

Here's my q on the apologizing: I think the opposite sex could use an apology for ' X ' and a thank you for ' X '? ↗

[Daniela1982]

Come on, it's not only females who do this but guys too. They can't handle any one else's opinions and block you, even if you are not in the wrong. I just consider who lost out the most by doing that and it wasn't me.

[AmandaYVR]

You are absolutely right, it's not only females. But I dealt with two very passive-aggressive females on the same day, and then my husband comes home and tells me more about the continuing saga of two women he works with (in tech) who are duking it out. The whole office knows about it. I am not saying all women of the world are in the wrong, but with those and the other examples I gave earlier, I do see a definite trend (which indicates a change in direction, but I think it has always been this way, to an extent) of women's very different approach to life, and conflict. Many good women/girls avoid conflict. It's too upsetting and unpleasant to them, and to those I say you are not included in this. But to the ones who attack, with such viscious tactics so as not to having any response back at them, I do stand by what I said. They are less direct, and often more underhanded, than men. I apologize if you are not one of them. You are right, when people block (and whatever else they do in real life, whatever version of shutting that person out) they are denying that person's existence, and yes, sometimes creating an echo chamber for themselves. I realize this, also. On the flip side, people should not go around spouting off, any thought they may have, just because they can. And those people do also deserve to be blocked. I am not against blocking. I'm against a block to avoid repercussions for what they choose to say.
I do thank you for commenting. I know what I've said is incendiary.

[MrHopper]

I will be totally honest here... its just what a lot of people are like... a lot of those closest to me have no idea what "compromise" means.

What i find amusing personally is that i have autism and huge issues socially but even i see the benefit to coming to an agreement rather than steam rolling your idea through

I think in fairness it comes more from a need to not have a fault, we all like to think we are right.. it was our idea and stuff! but some people, male and female, have yet to see that what they think is not always right, and we see that all over this site.. every day you are bombarded with people just having a rant at a section of society that for some reason they just think is evil

No one wakes up in the morning and thinks "i am going to be a dick today" we are all just trying to get along in our own reality, just because you dont understand my viewpoint does not mean its incorrect, i just have experinced a different reality to yours... just accept me and move on with your life and i will with mine

Its all i ask of any one, as an autism suffering is to just say "no worries its what your like i will give you 5 minutes to sort your self out.. dont worry, so whats for tea tonight? we going out?"

[AmandaYVR]

Autism is very common nowadays. I do know a bit about it. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. If you have been able to adapt and work with others, so should they. We must all share this space together.

There is some very poor behaviour that takes place on the internet. And I think it's only going to get worse from here. The brain learns. It can also learn very destructive patterns, fixations, repetition reinforces these behaviours. The world is becoming so intolerant, so selfish in this on-demand, personalized economy. This is the most individualism the world has ever known. And anonymity, as I've said before, is not good for society. The internet and technology could have connected people, freed up our work to spend more time on more important and fulfilling things like communication, but it has been as much of a curse as a blessing. What we have now is like where someone throws a cherry bomb into the middle of a room, it explodes, and they run away, leaving wreckage in their wake. That is not communication.

[MrHopper]

I think your spot on.. i felt the 90s, more so earlier part was quite peaceful and the world looked like it was going to be all lovely in the future... i do think another factor that also has taken place is that those who knew shit could get bad.. like really bad are dying off and no longer in power. In the 80s and 90s people worked hard to not have a repeat of WW2. Those people are gone now and people who have lived through the most peaceful period in human history are now in charge with no real experience of how bad things can get real quick. No one thought WW2 would happen, they said laws existed to stop this and that... but all it takes is one person with a fervent group of supporters and we are all back there again, just turn your eyes to either side of the Atlantic for where this is happening

[Dongtai]

I definitely get what you’re saying. I do believe some people use this website for emotional/intellectual/moral validation.

They’ll post their perspective on something and will go bonkers when someone says “I totally agree” or “this is amazing”. But as soon as someone rebuttals or disagrees there’s a storm.

I’ve had a few guys react this way to me. They’ve all been guys who had some weird belief about how men should be with women or how women are a monolith.

There’s actually one guy who apparently monitors my posts but doesn’t respond to all of them. I know this because he’s made references to past posts and comments I’ve made where I don’t recall him.
commenting on.

I said something about loving older women and he started berating me because I didn’t agree that women are past their prime in their 30s and told me I’d have trouble having kids.

Get a life dude 😂😂😭

I wouldn’t worry about people like that. This website lets them live in a fantasy world where they’re almighty and smart. They’ll defend it with their life if they feel threatened

[AmandaYVR]

"... how women are a monolith"? That's interesting. Can you elaborate?

Yep, differences of opinion are a part of life. No way around that. But how we conduct ourselves in the process, is 'where the real money is,' where the guts are. It's takes nothing to hit and run. Can you stay, and face the music? Many cannot.

[Dongtai]

I might have used that word wrong. What I meant though was that there are some guys who believe all women respond well to the same behavior (from men). They’ll write very long Mytakes about pill/uncle theories and will bite anyone’s head off who tries to say

“No dude. You’re wrong. Not all women aren’t like that.”

Personally I say and do what I feel in the heart. Money is secondary. My soul doesn’t have a price tag.

[AmandaYVR]

You rock.

[JackSmy]

Amanda, dear, some are ALWAYS going to hate on you for anything!! You can post something about loving unicorns and rainbows and caring for disabled children, and some fckwhit is going to hate for some reason!!
Don't let them in your head, and don't even think of responding, like you said, defending. They cannot understand, and why do you care what some stranger thinks?
If you respond, just be nice, and say thank you, and smile, and just live your life, your way, and just accept that some will always be against anything that you might love!!
I think about who responds, and if i know them, respect them, or care about them, as a part of my life. If none of these, then Sod Off!! Who cares what some busy-body, judgmental prude says?
Smile, and know that some others, here, love you and your posts!!
My dad always said, "Never let the bastards get you down!" Think about who says it. Do they MATTER, to you?

[AmandaYVR]

If you read my mytake carefully, I am not taking issue with a difference of opinion. It is about the way that some people go about this. Anonymously, then strategically blocking, so they do not allow any repercussions to themselves. This is disgustingly cowardess. If you are going to voice your opinion, you must expect it in return.

Thank you for your support, though. I a not familiar with you, and it is an odd and pleasant feeling to know that there are strangers out there who have goodwill towards you. It often appears the internet is a vacuum.

[JackSmy]

I apologize for not noticing the subtle nuances of your post. I post as me, but it is a pseudonym, of sorts, like most. When I get to know some, I share my true email, and identity, and we become friends. Until that point of trust, it is best to just have the online name. Some people get a bit crazy!!!
You don't need to thank me for caring, and being a normal human!! Such things seem to have become lost today! Simple courtesies like respect, and just being civil, and 'nice' seem somehow lost, especially here, with so many haters posting crap, and disagreeing with any little thing.
How hard is it to say something nice, offer a smile, and a compliment?
How amazing is it, on a bad day, when some stranger just makes a special effort, to hold a door, or say something nice, or just smile? It can turn your whole day around, with such a simple gesture, and it costs nothing!! :)

[AmandaYVR]

No Updates on MyTakes, I now see, so here's some stats (I always love stats), I'll tag onto yours...

66% of the anonymous questions are by females.
The answers are basically even: 54:46% girls:guys.

[Daniel012]

I haven't read all the comments (yet), so I'm posting this from a considered, information-digested, spur of the moment reactionary point of view.

I don't see the point in blocking. why would you do it? if someone posts bullshit, surely there is enjoyment in tearing them down. someone you've blocked might, on extremely RARE occasions, actually post some valid correct information (crazy idea, but neway). why would you block someone? because you are not confident about your stance on an issue, you've read lots of inspirational comments which say "dont change for nuffink", and don't want that person to strengthen any doubts you have about it

so far the only site I have any kind of block list on is facebook. 99% of those people are people I've met in real life. also I think that making the up vote anonymous would give more engagement (the daily mail site does that, altho I'd never recommend the daily mail site to anyone). disqus does it as well. it seems a bit weird that only down and not up is anon. programmers live in a happy world where every up vote goes along with a happy comment

[AmandaYVR]

The site wants the most users and activity possible. Negativity is counter to their purpose and goal. I think blocking and anons will probably remain. I am fine with them, either way, I don't really have a strong opinion. I understand your philosphy of blocking. I'm interested in both sides of the same coin here. I think it might be a fairly even 50/50 split, but I haven't checked in on my 'your opinions about blocking poll and q yet). The pro-blocking stance is about countering unecessary hostility and aggression. Some people are just unreasonable and speciously inaccurate in their claims and no amount of engagement will change this. But to block is to suppress differing opinions, and to create echo chambers of thought. So they are each not without a moral cost.

[Daniel012]

The site wants the most users and activity possible. Negativity is counter to their purpose and goal.

yes, but life isn't about having the "most users and activity". life is about having people, with varied opinions, who are providing varied, sometimes conflicting information

most users and activity possible, sounds like quantity over quality. most users and activity possible, is what webmasters want for click throughs to gain advertising revenue, and to tell marketing companies "look how many users we have"

[Daniel012]

+ most users and activity possible - yes but not the most users and activity that all agree with each other in an echo chamber, the most *varied* users and activity possible. sometimes the activity will conflict, (and this is when you need people who will be brave little soldiers, and not just hit the block button, but actually form their reply) blocking completely removes that. I've just woken up. I'm posting, then thinking, then posting at the moment, rather than thinking, then posting.

[AmandaYVR]

Having “variety” and differing opinions is easy. No two people on the entire site have the same opinions. The crux of this is about codes of conduct.

[Daniel012]

it's more about (as you say) there being zero policing of the block feature... and also that the block feature... doesn't actually block

[AmandaYVR]

Exactly. The way it functions is what bugs me. Not its existence or not.

[FatherJack]

Thank you for being male positive , as you point out , you are very much in the minority now , one of the root causes of these common female attitudes , is subtle misandrist indoctrination of girls in the education systems , my own daughter has told me of this... and hates it , saying it is totally unfair , and reinforced by the " media " , males are heavily demonized , whereas conversely , females are elevated to angelic " can never do wrong " status , look up the " Women Are Wonderful " effect , which affects both genders This toxic social engineering is all by design !!

[AmandaYVR]

Wow. I'd be very interested to hear any more details about that. How old are your daughters?

I have had quite a few men be aggressive to me on here, often anons but not always, but I did stick with the conversations, at times, and I admit that sometimes (not often, but often enough, I guess) some did seem to come to the conclusion that I was not, in fact, saying something derisive against them or men in general. Their backs got up, by default. No species is pefect, no sex or gender is perfect, but come on, people, does that really need to be said? That seems like wasted air, to me. But I have come to the conclusion that not all of these angry men's opinions can be unfounded. I have never felt this way, never treated men in my life this way, never been used and abused to such a degree that I would classify the 'opposite' gender as so flawed as to be not worth engaging with. But many men do feel this. And many women feel the inverse, as well. I think the problem may (though this is just a guess) lie in a trend of over-generalizing, based on one's direct experience. Are people really getting nastier, more selfish, etc? Maybe they are. I am not 'out there' and have not been in the dating world for some time. But I can tell you that even when I was, I was not so poorly treated. Why, I don't know.
cont'd...

[AmandaYVR]

But despite good, or bad, experiences, I will never, ever, side categorically with one group of anything. Not politically, geographically, anything. I despise diviseness. I am not tribal. I have always analyzed, and thought for myself. I am a classic and true Libertarian in every sense of the word. I came from smart, though flawed and not necessarily successful, parents. They instilled in me many things, I now know. And one of them was to 'use your brain', think, question. So I do not regret what I wrote. I apologize to the women of the world who feel it was unfair. But it is just as unfair for some people to feel that their entire gender is being blamed by another. That is not the case. And I have no problem apologizing on behalf of my gender. None at all (as I said in my q, amongst the 140.) At times, I prefer the differences, such as the more directness, of 'the other'. And if 'freedom of speech' is going to be so abused online, then I will use my voice to speak my truth, as well.

[FatherJack]

Thank you for your thoughtful response , and appreciate a balanced view. My daughter is 13 by the way , she first mentioned the anti male bias at the age of just 8 !! The seeds of misandry are planted into the heads of girls at a young age , and becomes even worse if a young woman gets uni place , these are now Cultural Marxist Indoctrination Facilities , at least the Soviets " re-educated " you for free !!
Feminism is a sub branch of Cultural Marxism , colleges and esp universities are hotbeds of CM , only the left wing viewpoint is accepted... and dissent is NOT tolerated , yet they label themselves " liberals "... they are Stalinist in all but name . Many a female student / recent graduate ends up with a very negative view of human males due to this toxic brainwashing... it is all by design , there is a clear " Divide and Rule " agenda at work. This is why " society " is getting more nasty and selfish , deliberate toxic social engineering. One of many reasons why I have chosen to stay single for the rest of my life , no bitterness towards women , just cannot be bothered and no longer any desire to even date. Also , from a woman's POV , single dads are NOT desirable to women , and don't blame women either , there are vast numbers of baggage free available men out there.

[YHL6965]

I have noticed that there are more women than I expected who have issues when it comes to dealing with truth, especially truth that hurts or go against them. The mental gymnastics involved after the initial confrontation can become very impressive and complex. I noticed that women can be much more cruel and heartless when it comes to confrontation too. They don't really fight with any honor either.

Now keep in mind, this whole paragraph concerns a small part of women, not the majority, but I usually don't even bother responding to them because I prefer to use my energy and my time for something better for me. Their head is usually so far up their ass that they could lick their tonsils.

[AmandaYVR]

It is a sad, sad state of affairs that some people think truth is negotiable, malleable, and something to manipulate. I love your "mental gymnastics" phrase, haven't heard that in a long time.
Women don't fight with honor? Wow.
It is sad that we need to continue to say "a small part, not all". I think it should go without saying, but unfortunately not.

[YHL6965]

Yes, I agree. About the women don't fight with honor, I mean that because they are more "like snakes", sly, sneaky, "backstabby" which is basically passive-aggressiveness. Men tend to be more upfront and there is more or less a "code", unless the guy is a coward.

[Anpu23]

There's a certain type of person, both men and women who can't accept that they are incorrect, and rather than concede a point just use the block feature to close the argument. It's stupid and like you said passive aggressive but it's part and parcel of online debate...

[AmandaYVR]

Absolutely.
Do you think 'debate' is the best word though? Classically, def: A discussion on a particular matter in a public meeting or legislative assembly, in which opposing arguments are put forward and which usually ends with a vote. Because there are no endings online, no desire for resolution, as there are no repercussions to these words. And many feel a sledgehammer is a better tool than a microphone.

[Anpu23]

I have lack of a better word...
perhaps "discussion" or "argument" but honestly the term has fallen into common use for online arguments

[DeeDeeDeVour]

That's why I check 'None' on 'Anonymous opinions' whenever I submit a question or a poll here. I sometimes get those harsh opinions from self-righteous anon bitches too whenever I forget to disallow anon answers. One of them is probably the same girl who blocked you.

[AmandaYVR]

Yes, thank you DeeDee. I was starting to do this, and since, almost exclusively do this. I think it is a good method. There is no reason to hide, if your opinions are stated reasonably.
You make a good point - I have recently made a comment regarding this, on one of my other q's ('Of course... but maybe') - I think, at times, it may actually be more beneficial to direct one's anger/frustration/whatever at the individual who caused it, face them directly, and try to not generalize and too hastily blanket-apply it to others. I see people do this all the time (including sometimes myself). I don't take back anything in this Take, but going forward, there is no doubt that single individuals can be very toxic and can cause so much damage to peace and harmony (here, or anywhere in life.) Other should not have to pay for their behaviours.

I just uploaded a new MyTake.
Censorship, Free Speech, and Echo Chambers & Civility, Common Decency, and Mutual Respect ↗

A Petition To Overhaul the Blocking System ↗

Your opinions on Blocking? ↗

[lightbulb27]

Yep! Guys do this too... and is it really a guy or girl... who knows. If I don't know them, know their history, I put no emotional energy into it. It's pointless if they are just an image behind a curtain spewing their convictions. You'll never convince or change them over messaging. Their issues are theirs to own.
There are a lot of emotionally messed up people... who think they are right and don't want to change. They don't see it because it is their truth.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for sharing this with us. Sorry you encountered this situation
but it happens on here and Guys do the same exact thing on here so
never feel bad.

[AmandaYVR]

Thank you so much, GoodGuy. You are such a unfailingly positive contributor here. The site and we are lucky to have you.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

You're Welcome :) Thank you too !!!

[COMMODOREII]

Well I don't apologize on behalf of men because I'm not responsible for men in general, nor am i responsible for women. I am only responsible for myself and since i know where i stand i will never yield to the bigotry that's out there. I have seen both men and women do what you are saying and it cowardice. That's why all of my responses and questions are not anonymous because they reflect who i am as a person.

[AmandaYVR]

"That's why all of my responses and questions are not anonymous because they reflect who i am as a person." - Excellent. I respect you very much for that.
(And I enjoy your comments on my other q's, like your cat personality.)

[COMMODOREII]

Thanks 😎

[bolverk]

What really bugs me are those that block you for no reason that you can fathom and you never find out til you stumble across one of their questions and you suddenly find that they have blocked you,

Does it make sense to anyone else that if you are blocked by someone that you no longer see their questions?

[AmandaYVR]

There is a Setting for this, which you can toggle on and off. "Hide activity of users I blocked"
So in order for you not to see their future posts, you have to also block them, and then you can turn on that setting if you want to.

FAQ: "If you do not want to see blocked users activity, you can go to your profile settings and check the box that says, "Hide activity from users I blocked" and then click save. This will hide the users activity from your Live Feed as well as the recent questions page, poll page, popular questions page, and myTakes page. You will still see their opinions or replies on individual question pages though."

I also did a MyTake on blocking. A Petition To Overhaul the Blocking System ↗

[bolverk]

I'm not petty enough to block them in retaliation, I'd just like to know that they have blocked me before I waste the time composing an answer that will get blocked.

[AmandaYVR]

Definitely. That is annoying. I would think this should be possible. The site is aware now and sounds like they may work on it.

[bolverk]

Gotta hope so, Funny it has not occurred to them sooner though.

[AmandaYVR]

Well I believe in working to make things better in life, and in constructive feedback. You want change, it starts with one.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Anon opinions are worthless most of the time anyway and I delete them without much thought if they are trolling.
I'm sorry you had to experience that.

[AmandaYVR]

Thank you, Jean. Unless future anon comments are of an extremely personal nature, my new attitude will be, garbage in, garbage out.

[WhiteSandBeach]

Oh my! i don't post anon in my responses or questions. I am of the opinion, anon option should not be allowed on this site. That person is exactly reason why. Blue anons aren't any better either.

[AmandaYVR]

Hi WhiteSand,
I know. I was pretty pissed when I wrote that. But it's some feelings I do have from time to time, and this particular day, as I wrote to Daniel1982, it all just converged at once. I could no longer contain it.
Are you familiar with the comic Louis C. K? Unfortunately, very unfortunately, he has since admitted to some incredibly despicable sexual behaviour, and coercion and manipulation of women. But I used to really enjoy his comedy, and his clever observations about the world. If we forgive him for the former (which I'm not sure we should, at least definitely not yet, too soon and he needs to show more repentance), maybe we can still admit that he has made some interesting discoveries about culture. His words came to me, in my mind, when I was writing about these events. This is about raising children, and gender differences.
"Boys just do damage to your house, that you can measure in dollars like a hurricane. Girls, like, leave scars in your pscyhe that you find later, like a genocide or an atrocity. A man will, like, steal your car, or burn your house down, but a woman will ruin your life. A man will, like, cut your arm off and throw it in a river, but he'll leave you, as a human being, intact. He won't fuck with who you are." He's exaggering this for comedic sake, of course, but I do think there's some strange, albeit distorted, truth to it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2acaql7__4

P. S. I would be ok with no blocking and no anons also. But if we are to have both of them, which could be better, I just think they need to be tweaked, so they cannot be abused this much.

Thanks for commenting. I was following you already. 🌼

[Avicenna]

Really messed up. And you're right that this is a relatively rare opportunity to speak freely about a lot of topics we normally can't or don't.

[AmandaYVR]

Yes, I wish people would use this site more exclusively for non-inflammatory topics. There are so many sites for that. Can there not be one, for light and personal topics that everyone can enjoy...

[Avicenna]

Agreed

[NickiB]

Good mytake.
But i would not worry about her opinion.
Since she was not willing to listen to your side of the story she is someone i try to avoid anyway on here and face to face because they are close minded individuals who are not willing to hear others points of views.

[wankiam]

that is a definitive missuse of the blocking function... she had every right to hide your comment as petty as that would seem but to block you was just pathetic and actually achieved nothing anyway

[AmandaYVR]

I've had two extremely frustrating instances occur today. In the first, which I wrote this MyTake about, the girl did not hide my comment. She wrote a comment on my question, then blocked me, and after I spent quite some time composing a reply, I found out I could not reply... on my own topic.
I have not used the "I don't want to see this" feature. I tried to look it up, howit functions, but couldn't find info on it. I presumed that it only hides it from 'me' seeing it, not everyone else. Is that incorrect? If I can hide hers from everyone else, on my qs, then fine. That would satisfy me I guess. But I do actually believe in seeing most comments. Like many, I may want to know what is being said. But I think that should be a choice we can all make. If there was no blocking at all, I'd be ok with that too. But whatever it is, it needs to be fair and consistent, not skirted around.

The second incidence is that an Editor (Secret6620) replied to my other MyTake about blocking, and she and I argued about it. I believe she was rude and unreasonable to me, not the other way around. But she since removed all my comments, and left hers. So yeah, I'm pissed about that. But the site has since removed her comments as well. So good. That is just. But the fact that she is doing crap like that, abusing her Editor status, is b. s. She should have it revoked. And I wonder how many other instances of things like this are happening.

[EleanorRigby]

I agree with all but one thing.

"Also, when I posed a q asking if any men or women would like to apologize, on behalf of their gender, to the opposite sex..."

I see absolutely no reason to apologize for something I didn't do.

[AmandaYVR]

Yes, well, a lot of people feel that way, apparently. I apologized to both sexes for things I didn't do, but I didn't mind at all. I brought up the topic/q because I believed it would be a nice thing for people to hear, both sexes. We all belong to groups, tribes, etc. Male, female, young, old, your country, politics, religion, your beliefs, sexual orientation, the list is endless. It is no skin off my back to apologize if it can make some others feel that they are appreciated, still liked, not dismissed as being 'all bad' or 'used and abused'. But I know, it turned out to be a common way of thinking, 'I won't apologize for what I didn't do'. What about the things that one has done? Everyone has made mistakes, errors, could improve on certain things. Look at all the things that have happened in war time, entire countries being angry for decades, against anothet race or nationality. The wounds run deep. We are in some part responsible for the actions of our ancestors and our tribes. We are a community living today on the same planet.
I guess it was wishful thinking and most people disagree with me. But the takeaway is not that no one deserves apologies or compassion or understanding. The takeaway is that everyone is holding their ground. (Except that far more men rose to the challenge and did do it. So I'm proud of them. Upvotes on the q were 3:10 M:F and 4:19 M:F comments. @nickib was the only female who apologized. I f-ing love that girl.)

[EleanorRigby]

Apologizing for something you didn't do is pretty much pointless. That is why I wouldn't do it.
I think me having some decency and acting nice towards men and people in general is more than enough to make someone feel appreciated. I am 100% not responsible for something my ancestors did.

[AmandaYVR]

Ok. I agree, the ancestral thing does exist, but it's not right, and people need to not blame the current people. I do think people should focus more on today.

[PrudentGuy]

What a long rant you wrote over someone sooooooo insignificant!

Come on, there are 6,000,000,000++ people on earth. 1 had sinned, that one has the forgiveness of God.

For the rest, well, focus on them because you won't have enough time even when you spend only 1 minute each.

Cheer up, this is G@G and this is strictly my Opinion, doesn't matter you like it or not, although I very much hope you do. 😆😆😆

[AmandaYVR]

You're missing the point. It's not about one single female on here. It's about a trend of too many females not posting using their identity, and being extremely critical and judgmental, and not wanting to take accountability. We are all anonymous on here, with these pseydonyms and avatars and we can all create and be whomever we want to be. But to hide even further as anon, too often, and then block, and then this system fascilitates this behaviour when a person can have the last word and end a discussion... well that is just bunk. Total b. s.
Why are so many females on here so confidently waving their fingers at the men, and not taking responsibility for any wrongdoing on their part? That is the bigger question and picture here. I never said anything against race or sex or gender or sexuality. The hypocrisy of a girl hiding behind an identity, so that there can be no connection, no thread to who she is... it shows a pathetic insecurity. I know, she would claim that she doesn't want to be "attacked" but that is a cop-out. She came onto my topic. I did not seek her out. I made no criticisms to her character first. She is a self-righteous coward.

[PrudentGuy]

Oh I see.

FYI, after quite a while here, I noticed many trolls, including the infamous "guys in Pink".

In all sincerity, my opinion to you is: just ignore them.

The Site Owners use anonymous facility to attract comments. This benefits the Site.

So as "addicted" users, accept this fact that they earn $Millions from our free labor.

Just have fun, don't allow anonymous Opinions; otherwise resign from this tedious job that doesn't even pay for bread 😆😆😆😆

[AmandaYVR]

I agree with all that. Thanks.

[PrudentGuy]

Hey, once a while, to avoid addiction to this site, I would stop coming for weeks even months.

I think you should take a break (like a month or more). When you return you'll feel much better.

[AmandaYVR]

That's not my style. I like to fully delve into things. I explore them deeply, and eventually decide whether it's something I have interest in and want to pursue or not. Time has nothing to do with the people here or my reaction or the design or mechanics of the site. The anonymity of the internet breeds judgement and contempt for strangers. It is not pretty. I need to make a decision whether the positives outweigh and are worth the negatives. There are some really great people that are on here. And many that are not.

[Daniel012]

what is the internet for if not for rants?

[PrudentGuy]

@Daniel012 of course! Of that's the way you find pleasure.

I prefer to chat or better still sext. I rarely rant. But hey, that's me.

[Daniel012]

sigh.

[AmandaYVR]

@Daniel012 "what is the internet for if not for rants?" The fact that you say that proves to me you have no idea the bigger picture here - what that kind of negativity and criticism and discord does to the fabric of society. It can be very very damaging. Look at how divided the two main political parties in the States are now, and the sexes. No one trusts anyone, "truth" is now subjective, there is so much bitterness and anger, and these uncontrolled, unabashed "rants" are part of the problem.

[AmandaYVR]

[Daniel012]

you can prove whatever you want to yourself

[Daniel012]

with that screen shot. so you mean. this isn't real?

[AmandaYVR]

@Daniel012 I don't know what you mean by "this isn't real", but my point is that your premise that "the internet is for rants" is highly questionable. Debatable, at best. It is your opinion, not a fact. And I have a very, very different opinion.

[Daniel012]

real , is life. "don't ever disagree", is the sign you have on doors which are "safe spaces", where no one learns anything

[Daniel012]

oh... when I said "the internet is for rants" - I didn't say "the internet is for ranting about other people on the internet". I parked the car in the car park the other day. there were limited spaces. one guy in a van had parked covering four spaces. what a tw**. (that's a rant)

"ranting WITH people on the internet"... is so 90's, isn't it?

[JoinMyDream]

Sooooo sad! I had a similar experience a while back with a girl on here. It bugged the crap out of me for a while. I finally quit responding to her.

[AmandaYVR]

Thank you. Yes, I got it out, and now I will put it in the past and refocus on the people here who are worth the energy.
Pm me sometime. We should have a chat. I'd love an update.