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What is the Allure & Mystery of younger women dating older men? Why is it frowned upon by so many people, especially the Religious crowd? (Page 2)
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There's actually a strong argument to be made that the first dates/sexual experiences that both male and female teens should have should be with older more experienced partners of the opposite sex.
It's a fact that young men think of little but sex, which fits perfectly with 37 year old women whose clock for conceiving is ticking but who are usually totally capable of handling randy teenagers in bed!
It's also a fact that older men prefer more foreplay, more romance and more drawn up lovemaking sessions than young guys do, which is just what a lot of young girls dream of.
You'd bring both sexes of the younger generation more quickly to the point that they were compatible for healthy, happy adult relations if more of what I described happens.
But societal forces are currently against it, IMHO.
I think u have been through a LOT already and NOBODY is in a place to judge you. if ur doing what makes you happy. then fine. if ur doign it for nattention or to try to make others nfeel some way about you then thats diff.
i think some older guys i know can be very sweet and actually seem to care. they have actually listened after asking how my day is, or other questions.
i dont think we shud like someone because of their age or not like them because of their age. u should like the person and not some detail about them i think
Its because those women have daddy issues as ysf meaning your father was not there so u seek attention from older men. And no, your mom did not took your dad away, he left.
Older men like younger women for several reasons: they look good, they are more obidient and easier to control, they are on thr same level of maturity as them (these reasons cam make u realize why people frown on that kind of relationships)
Younger women like older men for these reasons: daddy issues, older men have more money to take care of them, older men are more mature (well they are at least on tgeir level)
Quite a read, frankly... a good movie or book... what a rough childhood. It's amazing what children can survive through. takes decades to work out the emotional issues. I think you answered your own question... love and security... stability, something you desired. same reason your brother went bonkers as did you acting out, poor parenting. Your mom... seems she had some serious emotional issues or developed them.
I'm not sure why it's frowned on, maybe because the assumption the woman is being taken advantage of, or the man. Some girls are taken captive by men, and that's wrong. If they are of free will, it's fine. At older age, things may be different, but with love, all is fine. Make sure he plans to take care of you if something happens to you.
Jesus is there to help...
you've done well to come out the other side of that mess, glad you found some stability. You still have a lot of life ahead...
I’m not sure what I would talk about with a 30 year old these days, let alone an 18 to 20 year old. I’m sure there are exceptionally mature people in the lower age range I mentioned, but as someone who has worked around people in that age range in a mental health, then medical, then residential mental health/education, and now traditional public education settings, most of the time it’s like we’re speaking different languages and vastly different concerns and interests. Even if you have sex every day you will spend such a small part of your life in bed with a much younger partner compared to the time you spend out of bed together that I can imagine it would take a lot of work to stay together long term.
First of all, let's remember that love is blind. Secondly, maybe we should take a look at the animal world, where often a young female preferes by far an older male. The reason is plain simple: an older male has proven being able to survive. Maybe something of that animal instinct still remains hidden in many women.
If such relations are frowned upon, I think some jealousy must be involved. Genuinely worried people on the other hand may be aware of the realities and difficulties of human life when the difference in age gets important.
I say it’s frowned upon because when women were younger they did the same. They didn’t date guys their own age missing out on being married or what have you. Because they went with guys who had money to have fun and get what they wanted at the time. The older guys just want to have fun because who knows what happened and why they aren’t married. But basically they want men the same age as them now but Men are chasing younger women. The cycle keeps continuing. It’s not a problem to younger women until up to a point but when they’re older they don’t like what they see. Younger guys are trying to get the hot girls but a lot get ignored well some. They get who they can. But when they get to the money they get who they want most of the time it’s when they’re older.
I'm not sure about that. Younger women dating older men has been pretty much tradition for a very long time. And it makes sense for a number of reasons. First, when society was more reserved, women looked for steady and established partners. They tended to be older.
When it comes to more modern times, younger girls, like seniors in high school, always liked college guys. As they got into college, they liked guys out of college. And finally, when men are all grown up and women are tired of immature guys, they start dating and marrying more mature, settled men. Suspect that will continue on.
Of course, this isn't everybody, including myself. My wife and I are 1 year apart. But I'm having hard time believing Bible thumping Baptists look down upon a mature man marrying a younger woman. You see it everywhere, even with evangelicals.
To tell you the truth I am 26 years old and my ol man is 48 and I am the happiest I have ever been. I was with my baby daddy for 11 years he got me pregnant at 14 but he is only 8months older then my but I think young guy are fuck boys and dont know how to not be a fuck boy. My last boyfriend before the one I'm with now was 52 and I was 23. So I mean I totally understand. I have daddy issues cause my dad did a horrible thing to me a few years ago and I was a daddy's girl my whole entire life until that day. One of the hardest things I ever had to deal with and now I don't trust No man !
I attract mid-20s quite often, I look like I'm 30 at-best and agree maturity, and stability is the biggest allure. For us it's mostly "been there, done that" and that everything easier to navigate. Plus money isn't an issue, so it's easier to focus on things that please us. We are homeowners, we've done one of the hardest things in-life, harder than marriage in my book.
You can just look at some of the questions from those barely past 20, "how do you X?" "Why is it like X?". Experience matters.
you're lucky you look 30 at the age of 39. Most guys don't look best at that age.
Loving and getting attracted to sy is a complex matter. Very often we watch out for something lacking in our early years. And this is linked to some healthy natural instincts. I pretty understand that a woman seeks a man who is not only a man to her but is also able to support your offsprings properly. Its a clichee, that some in a special way "love or marry their dads" in case they had non meeting their "girly" needs. So all over there is truth in it. But dont worry, this is how life works. I do really appreciate that you question yourself and try to find answers, but consider, some professionals say: When psychology comes into a relationship by one door, love goes out by the other... dont anylize too much.
you must be joking. since when has it been frowned upon for young women to date older men? And no, its not common to see a young girl to be dating a man over 10 years older than her. Take a look at marriage statistics. Average age difference in a married couple is less than 10 years. I don't think its common for young girls to develop crushes on their dad's or step dads. Thats taking an "older man" into the extremes. I have always liked older boys but never a man around my father's age. No mcdaddies or grandpas.
And another thing is that its very sickening how people think all women cannot make any money and always will need a man to feel secure. The reality is, there are a lot of college educated, professional women out there who are already financially stable on their own. We already have money to live comfortable lives. why would you assume that all of us must marry for money? I can afford to marry a man who makes me happy without placing too much importance on his income.
Exactly 🙂
Historically it was very common because older men were generally more established financially and younger women had a lot of child-bearing years ahead of them to create large families that were the norm and often necessary for the labor-intensive farms were most people worked.
Now I think there are some remnants of the first part in play. Most 23-year-old men do not own their own houses or have well-paying careers, so a 23-year-old women looking for security might opt for a man who is 35 or 40, maybe even older.
Because most those relationships the younger woman is only after the mans money and the fact that they can't have babies or at least shouldn't cause it causes more higher change of birth defects. Also lastly depending on the age gap the older man is most likely gonna die much faster than the younger woman. So its like what kind of relationship is that? Also once that older man dies she will most likely move on really quickly and then find another man after her husband whos a lot older dies. Like so just many fishy things lol.
I grew up w/o my father and my mom was always working. My Grandma and Grandpa were mostly my main influences, but they weren't around forever. I rebelled in my late teens/20's. I met my now husband when I was 25 and he was 33. We got married in '13. Now I am almost 37 and he's 45. I think I was partially attracted to my husband also b/c, despite his drinking habit, he has shown me all the things that a father is supposed to share w/their daughter - usually. His career is a transmission repair, but he can do just about anything else and he's shown me how to do it also. Drywall, siding, concrete, HVAC, some roofing but I'm afraid of heights, and so much more. If I would've had a dad growing up, that would've been awesome to have him show me that stuff, but he wasn't around.
From a mans perspective, it literally makes no sense for a man seeking a primary relationship about kids to ever date a woman that isn't around 24 and under. Period. Its about fertility and her being a support to the mans life.
Only until a man is looking for more of a retirement relationship. 40s at earliest but more likely 50s 60s and up from there. Where there is no children to be involved. Only then does it make sense to go for a woman in her 30s. Someone who doesn't want kids or had ones young and they are close to being adults. Someone who is looking to retire with the man basically.
You do realize women value fertility in men too. I'd never allow a guy over 30 to impregnate me just cause I don't want a autistic or down syndrome kid
Lol @Apple1996 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AympCHQLwg
For me it's over 42+ but look at this woman on Youtube lol. Different strokes for different folks! I guess she didn't mind the risk.
Also this one nypost.com/.../
I personally wouldn't either 😛
@TenderFantasy dang she's crazy. The dad is gonna be dead before that kid even graduates high school
@Apple1996 Your chances if giving birth to a child w/ DS is exponentially higher w/ old women. Approximately 90% of a womans eggs are useless by age 35 which is why we have the term geriatric pregnancy. The percentage of this for men even up to age 60 is statistically insignificant. 0.000001% greater risk.
@Vegasrunner you should really look that shit up again cause men play a huge part in the genetics for down syndrome especially men over 35
@Apple1996 Not only has I researched it but I have watched it play out in real life. The majority of my male friends have had children well into their 30's and 40's and 50's and 0% have had issues of any kind. All of the women they have impregnated were in their 20's. So none of the stats, metrics or imperical evidence backs that up. The only Women I know who gave birth after 35 ended up having major complications. Thats a small sample size I realize but all related dated point to higher risk for older women.
@Vegasrunner I only know what I've been told by my fertility doctor so i trust their opinion the most about this stuff to not have babies when old for both men and women. And I don't know I know lots of old people wilth autistic kids, no down syndrome tho but I know nobody who has a down syndrome child tbh
@Apple1996 Has he provided you w/ a comparative breakdown showing you the difference in risk between men an women of the same age?
Nowhere in the Bible does it say it’s a sin or immoral to marry an older man so not sure why it would be more frowned upon in the religious group. I think some people may assume that an age gap relationship is Only about money or lust which isn’t true. I think the media likes to show the ones that are which furthers that belief. Also, some people are very bitter that they didn’t have a relationship workout for them so they like to judge others and an age gap is an easy one to go after. Older women thinking that the older guy should be for them and younger men thinking that hot girl should go for them and not some older man. I’ve seen a lot of successful relationships from age gaps so I don’t judge or have a negative view on it. It also makes sense if an older man wants a family.
"..., especially the Religious crowd?" That answers your question right there. They are religious whackjobs (and likely incels too) who want to try to regulate what two consenting adults do behind closed doors. This is one of many reasons why religion and state need to stay separate.
Not a good idea for men going out with minors, but as for any other age difference between an older man and younger woman, it happens so often that people don't blink an eye. What you don't see too much of is older women married to younger men.
Once you get past a certain number of years, you have nothing in common. The only thing the old guy likes about the young woman is sex and how hot she is. As a 53 yr old man, I won't date a woman that can date my sons. I also would have zero in common with a 20 something. I won't get the references and I won't be interested in anything she has to say. At 53, I will date down to about 48 and up to about 65. But under 40 forgetaboutit.