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Guys always have to lower their standards to the girl? (Page 3)
Anonymous
(36-45) 
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I rarely see boys lower their standards. Boys are driving more by physical attraction and desires than girls are. I lower my standards a lot. I don't think I have ever dated some one else equal to me, maybe that's why my relationships fail? I don't know.
possibly why they fail. If you accept a boy at a lower quality then you know you deserve..that is what will happen, he will never deserve you. I SUPPORT EQUALITY!
I guess I just live in a different area where muscular attractive intelligent loving guys date girls who are big, abuse the men emotionally, are unemployed and never have sex with them.
eh..this is not SUPER COMMON...but common enough for multiple people to notice it...
Yea, all of my men have been scrawny, pale, freckley, mean, abusives in their scrawny way, drug addicts, chubby, or whatever else.. or all of them together. I dunno. The current guy is muscular, but not that Ryan Reynold's muscular.. more Gerard Bulter after he lost some definition and gained a couple of lbs.. c: But I like it. And who wouldn't have sex with their man? Especially if they were more attractive? Dang.
I was still supporting you if you read my message right. I guess I just don't know you well enough to make a judgement, that's all. I thought I made that clear. I wish you well and hope you are as supportive to others... TOAST! relax and smiles...
Your message?
it doesn't bother me at all. it just sounds more and more like you are the type of person to complain and then be completely condtradictory. whine when you don't have them and use them when you do. oh well. a lot of people are that way. have fun with that. :) and for a moment I was feeling bad about my comment. I see the truth, that is all. have to stop feeling bad about that. enjoy it. haha
I am definitely not going to use them. Unfortunately, I use sex as a way to tell HOW MUCH chemistry me and a girl have. So I pretty much have to have sex with both girls before I have a much better understanding of who I want.
Also, I have been trying to wait as patiently as possible for a while. I think things are finally paying off, that is all
it sounded more like gloating to me... you could have just stated things were moving in the right direction now but instead, " I have two girls now and, hey, I got one in the sack already" You really lost my respect for you on that and it made them sound like a couple of loose 9's, but I wish you well. I am just not going to over think it.
sorry, I presented it that way. I am more happy and overjoyed then gloating. I guess the problem is Iam going to be seen in a negative light either way because nobody seems to like me here via my post. eh... Thanks for the original support though! :-)
sorry I am a bit tired today and I accidentally responded under louisees name above. if you are interested, you may read my comment there.
it sounds like your life is too busy for a long term relationship unless you find someone that doesn't want much time with you in person. you need to figure out what you DO want in a woman and go from there. You are intelligent but at the same time it seems as if you only what to locate the hotties and then can't commit because you can't stay in one place for your ambitions. Maybe you need to relax and rethink what you need right now...
wow..that was deep and hit me kind of hard.
I did not post it on here, but I have changed cities just about every 2-4 years since...1998...
I sincerely apologize. I did not mean to offend you if I did. Enjoying life is great, I am all for that but at certain times in my life I simply avoided relationships because I knew my life was not in the right spot for one at that time and I did not want to be selfish. We all need companionship, it is just a need to evaluate at what level are we ready and at what level can we commit. It is two sided(or should be anyway). :)
I'm a pretty girl myself and it's funny that you say you lower your standards, because for me I have to lower my standards to get a guy. I would love to have a guy who is really sexy, but all the really hot guys are COCKY! So in other words if you want a pretty girl stop looking at yourself in the mirror and you will get one. I've dated maybe 2 hot guys in the past and they genuine because they had had their hearts broken by ugly girls so I got lucky, but the reason we're not together now is because I live elsewhere. So far that's the only advice I can give you, because that's my frustration when it comes handsome guys. Plus don't put your standards so high. Try finding a pretty girl who is smart and doesn't have high standards neither.
I am not saying I put my standards high, I just want to try and go for woman who are at my level.
Good luck in your future relationships
you do know that ugly/pretty is in the eye of the beholder right? One man's beautiful can be another man's hideous. One man's great body can be another man's chubby/fat girl.
honestly...i feel like I ALWAYS have to lower my standards for guys...bc otherwise I am too picky. And to be honest if your a 10 you want an 11...but seriously how many 11s are out there? virtually none...so you must lower your standards because you will most likely meet a 6 or 7 or whatever and humble yourself. that's life.
thanks for the answer!
Yess , I definitely Agree , I am 21 years old , starting my Master degree , I'm athletic , in a very good financial , physical , ... position but guess what I have the same problem you have . all girls like me , like to flirt with me but it goes NOWhere and I'm tired of it . As a result , I gotta get 6's as well . So Yess always Guys have to lower their standers and with the respect I have for all girls ( girls please don't take it personally ) but girls always need a jerk to pay attention to them and that is my problem I can not treat my Girlfriend like a jerk and 9's and 10's don't like it that way .
I think that successful attractive intelligent guys CANNOT get great girls who are attractive!
I wonder if maybe girls see guys like us and think they do not deserve us because DEEEEEEPPP down they have very low self esteem.
Do you think that is a possibility?
Yeah man, a girl who is a 6 can be great! But when do the girls who are 9s come around?
The girls who are 9s and 10s seem to end up with rich men or with a complete loser who is unemployed. This sends them to dance for their family brea
I personally think what you are saying is correct in lots of cases some of them taught they don't deserve me or at least I am much better and higher than their expectations ; some of my female friends told me that 9's and 10's get scarred cause they always want to be on the top ; they cannot see anyone above or equal to their level and they ended up a person that can't even feed his family , a rich guy that has 20 GFs . Do you know any 9 or 10 that is happy with her life ?
I think that in every relationship there is one person who settled. Whether it be appearance, education, intelligence, or social status. And this basically works. I don't think that it is possible for two people who are equal with everything to be perfectly happy just like Ken and Barbie. Maybe you should see girls who are 13's! I just think that if it's meant to be, it will work. Good Luck.
In almost every case, I am the educated and intelligent one. I carry a strong social status and I have a very good appearance. Did I mention I cook and dance to? :-)
Seriously though, I need to constantly lower my standards..for really no reason.
I will try out 13s..and then come back and tell you how it went.
Girls don't neccesarily want someone who is as attractive as them, because when you can have somebody, who thinks is lucky to be with you, as you said, there's a lower risk of infidelity, mind games, etc. because that person becomes scared of losing you. I think it's more common for girls to have a partner who is less attractive than them.
So you are saying that girls more likely get with guys who are less attractive then them?
If so, vote that way.
HAHAHAHAHA GIRLS have to lower their standards SO MUCH to find someone who's ad least decent in ONE thing they think is necessary!
And I'm not talking about physical attractiveness solely. I'm talking about compatibility, education, IQ, standards of living and behaving.
I agree this happens often. It does matter where you live and the men/guys around you that you keep company with.
But I disagree, girls lower their standards in attractiveness or quality of man.
Well I figure everyone has high standards in the beginning, all based on looks & other vain things. The good looking people keep those standards because they get partners who qualify for them. But everyone esle begins to lower their standards because they can't get the 9s & 10s. Is it really a bad thing to lower your standards? Doesn't it seem kind of shallow to only date 10s & 9s? We all have to learn there is more to people than looks, & no will be satisifed until they do.
I am not saying a person is lowering their standards by not getting a 10!
I am saying a person is lowering their standards if they are a "7" and they have to settle for a "5" when they should be getting a "6,7, or 8"
Understand?
According to my theory, a person is never lowering their standard if they are approaching a 9 or 10.
What's so bad about getting a 5, it all seems vain to me.
it might not just be that you're hitting on 9s, I guess guys are visually based but there's a lot of factors why they don't choose a guy. and I agree, personality does matter...
weird cause no guy seems to pick me because I have a good personality but I'm definitely not a 9 or 10.
why are you basing what you do on an ex? she's an ex, who cares? I don't pay attention to any of my ex's...
I hate when people assign a person's looks a "number"... so f***ing superficial, everyone has their good and bad traits that go deeper than physical appearance.
Please read what I wrote above.
I feel like a person is an idiot or insecure when I use a number system. Sometimes systems have to be used to clearly identify a scenario.
I am trying to be thorough and clear. Have you ever thought about that?
You can't assign a number system to something that cannot be quantified.
Hes right. rea the description.
Well, that's real inspiring, not. I would never want a guy to lower his standards just to be with me, that's just insulting. I think you've just had bad luck, & haven't found a girl that is really your type.
Well, think of it scientifically. Women are designed to find and attract, the strongest, smartest, most loyal man there is, because we are looking to have the healthiest offspring. We invest a lot of energy into our children and we want the very best.
Men are designed to spread their genes far an wide.
So yes, from a strictly biological stand point, this is just nature.
What are you meaning by lowering standards? Are you talking about just on physical attractiveness? It seems if girls keep leaving you, they aren't getting what they want out of a relationship. So maybe learn something about your behavior first, do some introspection. Nothing wrong with the girls there, just look deeper into yourself for the reasons why people are leaving you.
girls are not leaving me, I leave them when I move and get a more and more advanced college degree. No, the problem is that girls will not give me much of a chance unless I am much higher quality OVERALL, then them. Not just attractiveness.
WOW, you are an asshole. And your rating bullsh*t just makes everything worse. Grow up, your in your 20's not everything is about looks.
exactly!
:D
Sounds too superficial to me.. If personality is most important what's that about lowering standards? I have to admit, good looks get girls better treatment in life. People talk more politely, get better service, etc.. So our standards are high too, you might win us with your looks.. That's why you got the first date.. It's time you work on your inner beauty! How about starting with getting over yourself?
THIS IS NOT ABOUT PERSONALITY
!
BEFORE A PERSON CAN CONSIDER PERSONALITY THEY NEED TO GIVE A GUY/GIRL A CHANCE TO TALK TO THEM AT ALL! I AM SPEAKING OF TWO PEOPLE FIRST MEETING...BEFORE PERSONALITY MATTERS...
Also, about 80% of the time after I get a first date I get a 2nd and a 3rd..etc. I go for personality! I am saying that guys have to lower their standards and desired attractiveness of a girl for the girl to let them have a chance to get to know them.
its always like that. I feel the same way like I have to lower my self in every way.i always seeextremely hot guys with ugly girls or the other way around.i think pretty peolpe should be with pretty people and ugly with ugly people
nice!
I think that "pretty people" get sick of the nonsense that other pretty people have. So they will eventually give up and try for something different and find happiness with a much less attractive person.
If all the pretty people would stop being such terrible people that some can be then this trend of ugly with pretty would stop. And they could be happy. But...most of these people are also not very bright...
This trend of ugly with pretty MUST STOP!
lmao
I think you don´t want to get the girl you like only, I think you want to be a living casanova, you want every girl chasing after you and being realistic that can not happen, there is no possible way to make every girl in this world want you, no matter how good looking you could be.
my girlfriend is not a 10 or a model, but I really think she is the most beautiful girl in this world
Sorry for my english I hope you get the point ;)
im just trying to say that you don´t have to care that much about if you have a 10 or a 9 or 6, just make sure that you find your special girl and be happy with her and with the fact that you can't get what you want becouse you think you are a cool kid, it takes much more experience to get a girl like that, only experienced players can do that.
Girls are always game players, regardless of numbers! Really atttractive women don't even SEE anyone who isn't rich, man, regardless of what qualities you have! You haven;t figure that out yet? Except maybe for the women who are already wealthy...rare in our age group.
Many super hot women only go find a rich man and only end up with rich men.
But MANY MANY MANY other super gorgeous women end up with a poor and futureless loser. They do not realize it until they get past like 30 years old and then are not as "valued" to the wealthy men in our society.
Basically, really attractive women may or may not end up with super wealthy men.