she's still getting over her ex, but wants to keep hanging out?

[FlintMichigan]

Hey team,

So I was dating this girl for the past 2 months, and everything was going perfectly. We had good chemistry, got along great and everything that happened was reciprocal, ie we both initiated dates, affection in terms of kissing/cuddling/sex etc. If we didn't talk for a couple days, we would both equally re-initiate contact. If anything, I felt like she was initiating things slightly more, particularly with the affection stuff!

However yesterday, she sent me a message saying that she's come to realise she's still getting over an ex 'thing', and that even though i'm a great guy, she's not looking for anything new or romantic. However she said " I hope we can still hang out because you're really fun". This completely blindsided me, because as recent as 4 days ago she had asked me out on another date to the movies... so I asked if we could at least meet to have a proper chat about it, if anything just to gain clarity, and this is where the plot thickens..

So we met up and told me about how she was in a messy situation with her ex 'thing' that had finished a month prior to us seeing eachother. Basically the guy had found out through mutual friends that me, her, and her mates were going to the movies and was texting her demanding her to tell him the screening time so that he could come also. She said the whole situation with him was just messy and didn't want to drag me into it, hence why she said what she said to me..

Anway, I asked her what should happen with us moving forward, ie should we stop seeing eachother completely, and she said no and re-iterated that she still wants to continue hanging out with me.. My question is how should I play my cards here? I'm a pretty easy going guy, if the best approach was to keep hanging out with her and reign in all the 'couply' stuff, and let her figure out things in her own time, I could do that. I'm just wary of my heart being played with here, but i'd still definitely like to try.

Any advice is welcome, cheers.

[Soccerdoe]

In my opinion she couldn't have said it any more clear, she does not want to pursue a relationship or any thing else. Sometimes and I have used it myself girls will say how nice a guy is and say things so she doesn't hurt the other person and that she still wants to be your friend. Unfortunately sometimes this is a brush off. Letting you down gently. And she sort of told you all this on the phone in a clear manner and you pursued the issue. so now she probably feels obligated since you ask her if she still wanted to hang out to say yes. But please don't expect anything more than friendship cuz that's definitely sounds like that's all she wants at this point. she's I they're still in love with her ex or back with her ex is my assumption

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she likes you and wants to continue without any specific label, just casual with no commitment. You are either her rebound guy, a bit more than friends or it may move on to something else.

If you want more of a relationship like actually boyfriend/girlfriend you might have decide if you want to wait around and see what happens but know there is a possibility she might, also, see other people. I'm not saying she is or will but without an established commitment agreement it can happen. If you are enjoying yourself and can hold in your emotions just go with it and practice safe sex just in case you're not the only rebound guy.

[HighValueDayGame]

This is a fairly typical situation, and for you it was actually better than for the majority of guys in the equivalent scenario. they usually don't get the sex, they are used as orbiters for one or two months, and then she finally gets back to her ex.

In your case you generated enough attraction to make sex happen. Still, if after two months of "kissing/cuddling/sex" she has not gotten over her ex, she doesn't deserve any more of your attention. You had a good time, wish her well, and move on.

[Agem123]

You're just the back up plan.