Why would a girl start giving you the cold shoulder?

[ZiiTheMant]

There's this girl I used to like for the entire school semesters, while we were talking before summer break, she introduced me to her classmate Derek and her close friend Anna. During our summer break, my crush would always mention Derek during our calls and texts. Talking about how much she wants to hit him or how they always be play fighting and hanging out a lot in class and break. The way she would mention him a lot made me think she has a crush on him or something, to the point where it became obvious. So, I took the hint and figured she wasn't into me and stopped texting her.

Anna, who my crush introduced to me before the summer break has been sending me messages and complimenting my art videos on Tik Tok. We grew kind close and exchanged messages and such. Sending funny memes and such. When summer break was coming close to ending, I texted my crush a few times during the summer, to see how she is, she asked if I deleted Tik Tok, but I told her I did but I've reactivated it because Anna convinced me to keep it. I noticed my crush started giving me one-word replies afterwards. Like, "yea", "k" or "ok".

I asked her if she was mad at me, but she said, "No, Y would I be mad at you?"
But I can tell the way she texted me was different. Now, I noticed she would start complimenting my videos now or commenting on the same videos me and Anna were talking on. I don't think she's acting jealous because I thought she liked Derek. So, I backed off. While Anna was actually really nice and caring. My crush and Anna didn't talk or see each other much during the summer but she noticed Anna talks to me a lot on Tik Tok and complimenting my videos. And Anna hangs out with another girl now.

A few days ago, my crush randomly asked if I wanted to play Roblox with her. I told her I can't, but we can play on Saturday. She completely ignored my reply. The next day, I try calling her and she didn't pick up. What did I do? She's obviously mad at me? She's been acting strange to me.

[Part2603]

Girls get pouty when they don't get their way. And it could be that getting her way was sort of keeping you in orbit as a backup plan.

Don't get friendzoned. When you like a girl, make a move, and if it doesn't work out, move on. If she really thought you were special she'd come running back.

It could also be that she actually does find herself attracted to you, and she expects you to shoot your shot. I don't know how much game you have, and what sort of stuff you've tried with her. But I do know that girls like a sort of cat and mouse game. A tug of war, a gradual escalation of flirtation and tension.

Girls NEED to have the tension build up *just* right and then boom, you seal the deal. (Whether that be sex for grown ups, or in the case of virgins, making out or something.)

So with that in mind, something really bold might possibly win her heart and put Derek in the ground for good. (And since you're a teenager, I mean for a month tops. lol)

I dunno kid. This Anna chick sounds the rational choice. But the heart wants what the heart wants, and you're gonna do what you're gonna do anyway. If you were gonna go after Crush Girl, I'd suggest you get her in person, maybe invite her to a "casual hangout", and then you shoot your shot in person, with kino. Since you're a teenager maybe you can just approach her after school.

And of course, since you're a teenager it might be extremely difficult to really assess where you actually stand with her. This could all be a cope, right, who knows?

Actually fuck it, make your move with Anna, make Crush Girl totally jealous, and then she can be your rebound when you and Anna break up.

Ok, final thought: When she asked you to play Roblox, you should have yanked the frame from her. You bought right into her frame, taking the question literally, and considered your schedule and how much you feel like playing video games at the moment.

There were other plays available if only you had the creativity to imagine them. You could have simply left her on read to see if she texts you some more. You could have negged her and changed the subject. "What the fuck are you doing playing video games, shouldn't you be studying for the math exam?" Or you could have just suggested something else. "Wanna make out instead?"

There's a million things you can do besides just being a passive acquiescing "friend" that sort of just follows along with her nonsense and waits by the phone for her to "realize" that she's in love with you.

I had a friend and she and I were totally into each other but she had a boyfriend. One time I was setting up a group outing to see a movie, and random shot in the dark, I invite her to come along. She asks "Who's gonna be there?" I tell her, "Are you afraid of being alone with me?"

Boom! Right then and there she realizes that it's me, and her boyfriend's been done, she just didn't want to admit it.

Why is she giving you the cold shoulder? Could be that she's busy and you're a chump. Could also be that she's pouring gasoline and you could be the spark.

Remember, the most important thing is that you maintain the frame. As long as you express yourself, as long as you're being an active driver in your story, you can't lose. She might turn you down, but remember, you're the one offering HER a shot with you, not the other way around.

[ZiiTheMant]

I love how much you went into detail with this! Thank you so much for the reply! Yeah, it's senior year for me at the moment. Anna is a cool girl and I have a feeling she might like me. But ever since Anna's been liking my videos, messaging me and such. My old crush started liking my videos as well, trying to say nice compliments on my videos too, whenever Anna is in the comments or not. I also caught my old crush spying on my Tik Tok since they have that profile viewer thing now.
Her name will pop up every couple of days. So, she could be jealous that her friend is giving me attention and I'm not giving my old crush any attention. Girls are weird... So, she needs an orbiter, I was hovering around. Maybe I didn't realize it.

You are right, I should have played it cool and ignored her message when she asked to play Roblox. Not sure why I bought right into that. But like you said, I have to express myself and drive my own story and ignore her. She will come around. But at this point, I've seen her true colors and my crush for her kinda dropped. The more I think about it, she sounded mentally unstable. To be able to ignore my text and calls over dumb and trivial reasons is very obnoxious. Only a broken woman will do something like that. So, I kinda lost interest in her after that.

[ZiiTheMant]

Again, I really appreciate your feedback and your advice. I love your analogy on what you said about driving my own story. She is just a side character, not a story driven plot or a main character. She doesn't belong in this "new season" of mine. I will gradually cut her off. Not in an immature way but I won't be reaching out or trying my hardest to bridge things.

Final thought: I listen and followed everything you have told me. I'm just gonna play it cool. I'll continue to treat my old crush with kindness and respect, but that's about it. I won't try to be her "best friend," her "simp" or her "orbiter". I'm just gonna treat her like a random stranger. Just to be nice, and that's about it. I deserved better. What she did was not cool, so "fuck" her!
:D Thank you, bro! I needed this!!

[Part2603]

Glad to hear it kiddo. I hope you find somebody that really 'gets' you.

[Guy13]

Sounds like she is with Derek now.

[ZiiTheMant]

I suspected so. Thank you for the reply!

[Guy13]

Sure man. Good luck with everything.

[ZiiTheMant]

Thank you! :)