So not directly, but asked my colleague to go for coffee, lunch and she always said thank you for invitation, but gind eithwr excuses not to go. So i understand she is not interested, has someone or other reasons. When i see her i feel akwards and a bit shy, weird. All i want now is to not feel weird around her and just be friends at work. How i make those feelings dissapear and i feel i still can't let her go.
All you can do is be normal and just let that settle in. It may take time. Paradoxically, the more you try and “just be friends” the more weird you make it feel. The comment about not wanting to let her go - well, truth is you have to and you never had her so letting go isn’t your choice. It’s just a fact you need to accept. She may have somebody else. She may not like to date at work (very common). She may just not be into you as you’re not her type.
Accept this reality. You will not be friends with every girl you like. Mathematically it’s not going to happen. A man plays a numbers game. Get out there and meet lots of women. The more you meet the more success you will have.
It’s is generally not the way to success, to be a shy guy and then when the highest quality woman in your work circle shows up to try and befriend her and somehow wiggle that into a relationship. The prettier the girl the more they are aware of this and the more resistant they are to it. Sure, the mean ones will play along and enjoy the free coffee and food but never intend to let that “really nice guy” they walk all over advance to romantic status. At least this girl has some kindness and morality that she’s not playing you.
Well. Here is the thing she didn’t directly reject you. Maybe she had reasons that she was doing something. You could ask her again, ask when she has the time, and tell her directly that you’re interested in her.
Another thing you can do. Is just ask another woman out. See if she will meet for coffee. Even if you aren’t super interested it’s one date. Maybe you’ll build attraction for someone else and maybe if she agrees it will help you to move on and see there are other women out there.
Remembering it’s nothing personal and go back to work with a new day, new mindset, and roll with it like you’re Gucci ✌🏻
Opinion
1Opinion
Swallow your feelings and be mature about it
Also Rule 23 - Never date a coworker
If the relationship goes south or turns toxic the workplace will know and someone is bound to be fired over it
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