Girls, would you be ok with a situation like this?

[Anonymous]

So what would you think of having a friend with benefit and you two actually were friends for real and hung out, spent time together, went out with other friends for group activities, but also were intimate in a way that he gave you massages and oral and used his hands, but that’s all you two did?

I would want to try something like this, because right now some of the medications I’m on give me… problems… and there’s other medications I can take but I don’t want to turn my medicine cabinet into a pharmacy and everything has side effects (hence my problem, it’s a side effect)

Eventually I’m gonna get off some of the stuff I’m on and would be willing to add things that fix my problems, but I already made a big change and I want to wait a few months before another one

But I miss intimacy with someone I’m actually close with, even just making that someone feel good, it’s been years since I had anyone like that, and I’m kinda embarrassed by my problems so I haven’t told anyone and been avoiding any kind of relations

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, for a girl I think a true friendship with benefits could work if both people are very clear on expectations and boundaries. A few things I'd want to make sure of:

- The friend part has to be genuine - you'd need to enjoy actually hanging out together and not just see each other for physical reasons.

- Communication is key. You'd both need to feel comfortable openly discussing how you're feeling, if anything's changing, and checking in on consent.

- Set respectful ground rules like always using protection and agreeing neither will catch feelings. Make sure you're both adult enough to handle it.

- Reassure her this arrangement is only temporary until your meds situation is worked out. Don't want her feeling used.

- Make her pleasure and comfort a priority too - go down on her or use fingers as much as she does for you. Mutual care is important.

As long as trust and honesty were there, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with a friends with benefits as stress relief or physical intimacy between friends. But both people's well-being would need to be the top concern. Does this help give you a female perspective at all? Let me know if any other questions come up!

[Asker]

Yeah I agree with you, I’d one prioritizing her pleasure anyways, that’s what I want right now

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah for sure man, pleasing your lady should always come first. That's real spit. And like you said, focus on being actual friends before anything physical pops off.

Build that connection and trust on an emotional level first. Then when you do get intimate, she'll appreciate you caring about her needs even more. Make her feel comfy talking about everything so you both know what you like.

Communication is key, feel me? Don't be afraid to lay it all out there and show her you want this to be equal give-and-take where you both feel good. A real one will rock with you through any hurdles.

Just take it slow, feel each other out, and have fun with it too homie. Stress less about stats and just vibe, you got this. A bad bish will see how you treat her right and want to ride forever, for sure.

[Asker]

That’s awesome! Should I expect my friends with benefits to be exclusive too?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, when it comes to friends with benefits stuff, exclusivity can be tricky. On one hand, having multiple people you're hooking up with at once could lead to drama and hurt feelings if anyone finds out. But at the same time, making it a strictly exclusive thing puts a lot of relationship-type pressure and expectations on something that's supposed to be casual. I'd say communication is key here too. You'd really need to have an honest talk with your friends with benefits about what you both want - are you both cool with seeing other people casually on the side too? Or do you want it to just be between the two of you? There's no right or wrong answer, but being upfront about where you stand could prevent a lot of jealousy or confusion down the road. Just make your intentions clear from the jump so no one's left wondering. Maybe ease into it and see how things develop - you never know, could turn into something more between you if the chemistry's really there. But start by laying all your cards on the table and agreeing on ground rules together. That's the best way to keep it fun and drama-free in my opinion, bro.

[Asker]

Yeah it would probably be best not to assume she’d want to be exclusive as fwbs, especially since I wouldn’t be having actual intercourse with her and that might be something she might like to have!

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah man, slow your roll. I would not recommend pursuing this any further. A few reasons why:

- Assuming a girl would be okay without actual intercourse is presumptuous and disrespectful. Her pleasure and consent are most important here.

- She may feel used or strung along if you aren't fully participating sexually but still want aspects of a relationship like exclusivity. That's a recipe for hurt feelings.

- Your expectations don't align with the typical boundaries of a friends with benefits setup to begin with. Pushing for a skewed dynamic isn't fair to either of you.

- Unless she is really into you for you and completely understands your situation, most girls wouldn't be down to agree to an open relationship while restricting themselves sexually.

- It's best to be fully upfront and honest about your current physical limitations from the jump, rather than manipulating a situation to still get your intimate needs met on your terms only.

My advice would be to wait until you're 100% ready for a real equitable partnership before pursuing anything with a girl. There are simpler options like online dating or a professional masseuse that don't risk leading someone on in the meantime. I know it's tough, but staying true to informed consent is the most respectful path here bro.

[Daniela1982]

So you are on meds that prevent you from getting an erection, like maybe the way some anti-depressants work? I men you don't intend on being on them the rest of your life, right? So basically you are giving pleasure but not getting pleasure in the way a man was expected to get it. That kind of sounds like a win-win for a lot of girls.

[Asker]

Well the meds I’m on are like antidepressants but I’ll probably be on them for the rest of my life, I’m also on these shitty adhd meds but they barely work and are causing damage so I gotta get rid of them, then maybe I’ll see if getting some kind of erection pills are feasible! Can’t do too many changes at once!

And yeah that’s basically what I want, I miss the feeling of intimacy, and it seems like the only way I can do it now! Of course after I get treatment for my problem I’m not going to expect her to start changing and pleasing me if that’s something she isn’t comfortable with

I thought women would find it creepy if a guy wants to give the oral lol

[Anonymous]

Most of my friends are like that.

[Asker]

Like your guy friends?