Am I his security blanket?

Question

Just wondering after an 8 year relationship could I just be the "security blanket" or it was all for the sex? I fell in love with this guy but he has cheated on me multiple times. 4 months ago I called it quits because he had 2 other gf's. He's still dating 1 of them he cheated on me with. Well now he says he was wrong I am the one he is supposed to marry and have kids with. I saw him about 3 weeks ago for some legal issues over some property that had both our names on just removing his name so no more strings there. Made a mistake and we had sex so I know if he will cheat on her with me logically thinking he would do the same to me again. I just am wondering if anyone can explain his behavior to me I'm lost. He's still dating her, taking her on trips, family involved, having sex with her so what I am seeing is he doesn't have plans to leave her anytime soon although he says otherwise. I know the family they say he's in love with me and will grow up but he is 34 years old really how old does a man need to be to stop acting like a teenager? I just needed some advice from a guys point of view. I feel used and 8 years was a long time I feel like I may have wasted on him. Thanks if you want to know more just ask I just gave the short version because there is so much. As far as I have been I am not perfect but I have never cheated or even considered it even when as he puts it we were on a "break" meaning he picked a fight that morning then had sex with some random woman same day. I personally feel like he is a sexaholic and needs serious help for his own good but not sure what to think anymore. Thanks again.

roly-poly · Accepted Answer

After 8yrs in a relationship and he still cheated on you multiple times and behaved like a jerk, do you really think he's going to grow up now? I'm sorry but I really don't think so.

he says he loves and all this because it feels like u'v been ther for him for a long time.

so yeh, your right, too him, you are his 'security blanket'.

I don't understand why you would continue seeing him after all he has done.

you should tell him to f*** off and b with this other gf. he don't desreve u, you sound like to niice of a person to be wasting anymore time worrying about him.

just forget about him and find sumone hu loves YOU and not you and someone else also.

x

hope this helps

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yeah, trust your instincts.  He cheated on you multiple times and has different girlfriends? He does not give a sh*t.  Stop waiting around for him. Do you really want to waste your best years on a guy that treats you with such disregard? What if he doesn't stop acting like a teenager?  Just move on and do better

jrmontano · Accepted Answer

Why are you still with him? If he really truly loved you he would make an effort to make things good with you.  Dumb him his sorry excuse for a man and move on!

Yoliereyna1330 · Answer

Hey hun. I’m kinda in the same situation except I’ve never been the other girl. Your mistake is that you are granting him access to you. And as long as he has access to you and to the women that he’s living with, he will never be forced to make a choice. You need to cut him off completely, and have no contact with him for months if not years. One of two things will happen. You will heal and you will move on and he will continue down the path he is going. Or you were heal and you’ll move on and he was circle back realizing his mistake and do whatever it takes to win you back. More than likely you will heal and move on And he will continue down his path. You are only prolonging your pain by continuing to allow him to have access to you. Do not have sex. Do not give him an explanation. You block him and you keep him blocked until he does something so significant that he convinces you that is he is a completely changed man. Make him work for everything and make him jump through a hoop over and over and over again to even score the first freaking conversation. Stop the abuse.