Am I leading my best friend on?

[pianogirl123]

He's probably the person that I'm the closest to out of anybody, and we tell each other everything. We've always joked that we're siblings separated at birth, but lately I'm not sure that's what both of us are thinking.

Recently, I started having guy issues, not knowing what this one guy was trying to tell me. Like I said, I tell my friend everything, so I went on a rant about how thinking about this guy has been affecting my sleep, grades, appetite... the next day, he was apparently ranting to my other friend about how much he hated the guy and how I deserved better. He's also been acting a bit differently around me, like he wishes we were more than friends.

I don't know if I'm leading him on or not... I hug him, tell him I love him, and sometimes lean my head on his shoulder when I'm tired. Until recently, I figured that wouldn't really mean anything to him, but I'm starting to wonder if doing stuff like that sends a message that I don't want to send. I've kind of just realized that guys really interpret touch and things like "I love you" differently than girl friends do...

Updates

+1 y

*disregard this*

He's asking another girl that he really likes out. Thank god...

[soxfan94]

Yep you're definitely leading him on. There's a point in any guy-girl relationship where things change from platonic to a stage where one or both people start questioning whether things could be more. In my experience, girls can often overlook the fact that their actions can very easily be interpreted as romantic gestures. Try to think of it this way: would your actions towards him be obvious signs of interest if given to someone else that you weren't good friends with? If the answer to that question is "yes", then it's pretty safe to say that you're leading him on. He's a great friend, but he's still a guy after all.

[DoggyDude]

Oh yes! we do see things different.

You should never say you love a guy unless he's your crush, boyfriend or the love of your life. To be honest you should only use those words when your absolutely sure you mean them (that is in the forever way).

Whilst you can say to a friend you love them. Generally you wouldn't and when you did you would always clarify with some disclaimer that you don't like them "that" way of course.

You have kind of accidently led him on. Then, from the way you describe him, he sounds like he would make a great boyfriend for you so it might be no bad thing.

[pianogirl123]

Thank you so much... dammit. What am I supposed to do now? I'm not interested in him that way at all...

[DoggyDude]

It depends how far gone he is. You need to reset your boundaries. Its damn hard.

I feel in love with MY best friend (am STILL in love with her) she has same problem you have (but hopefully your guys not as badly along as I am). For me there's no going back, she's the love of my life (also, she can't not be my best friend).

All you can do is not be so close with him, don't say you love him, and spend more time with other friends. He will "jones" for you pretty soon after. I know.

[pianogirl123]

Okay, thank you. :)