Why do girls hate and despise desperate, needy, clingy guys more than the other way around? why? how come?

[Anonymous]

Seriously, from what I have observed, when a guy is desperate, clingy, or needy, it hurts his chances, or destroys his chances of getting a date or girlfriend, or getting a laid, a lot more than if a girl is desperate, needy, clingy, etc. Another thing that is annoying is that it is much harder for a guy to hide his clinginess, desperation, neediness, than it is for a girl. Why do you think that? It's like it's okay for a girl to say or think that she needs a boyfriend, or man to complete her life, but it's not okay for a guy to say or think that he needs a girlfriend, or woman to complete his life. It's like girls can have the attitude or mentality thinking that they need a boyfriend or man to validate their existence.

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and girls can get away with it having that attitude, mentality, but us guys can't, us guys have to have the opposite attitude, mentality, it's like us guys have not want a girlfriend in order to get one.

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It's like girls are very extremely picky and choosy about a guy's behavior, social skills, conversation skills, attitude, confidence, mentality, before choosing to go on a date with him or choosing to be his girlfriend.

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Because us men get lonely and tired of being single too, because I've been single for a long time, alright I'll be honest, I've been single my whole life, and it is definitely not comfortable.

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It's like if a guy is desperate or clingy, needy, girls will be on the defensive immediately, they won't want to have anything to do with him, but it takes longer for guys to be on the defensive than it is for girls.

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Obviously I know that desperation, clinginess, neediness is a turn-off for both genders, but metaphorically speaking, the shield or barrier on women is broken more easily, which results in turning women off, than it is for men.

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Seriously, it's like desperation destroys a guy's chances, meanwhile desperation only hurts a girl's chances, like girls despise desperate guys more than guys despise desperate girls

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Seriously, it's like us guys have to pass so many damn tests

[Echo444000]

This article really made my day, I too feel your pain. I had to pretend to not be human to get a gf and now that she finds out I'm human she's disgusted. It's funny how being concerned and caring is creepy and unhealthy, I gave her space and trusted her, in return she was promiscuous and lied until I caught her, I really think that with women exploring both sexs these days and they want privacy to have alternative lifestyles/multiple partners. also, there is a massive dose of misandry going every where. I just read a report on how women know there in an abusive relationship, it did not mention insults or physical abuse only the the definitions of clingy. For the most part I gave her space and trusted her, she abused the space and when I could tell, is when we fought and I became concerned of her actions, she had inconsistencies and lied about things. A female friend called me when I was with her and she freaked out. The only difference is it happened to her more than me

[The_Box]

Men are held to higher standards than women yet luckily they also have the ability to reach them, yet it's very difficult and unattained by many.

Women have it easier, but there's less they can do.

[Asker]

Yes, women mainly initially have it easier, like they get to take their pick of the litter.

[frustratedchump06]

I couldn't agree with you more

[ellex27]

I think a man being needy and clingy is the ultimate turn-off, it just shows women that the man is unable to be independant and for me that is a really annoying quality. Although I think you are generalizing a little when you say all women hate needy men; one of my friends has a boyfriend who is constantly checking up on her and she loves that, she says it makes her feel wanted. I think its just a matter of opinion. I do agree with you that it is a major turn-off in women also and personally hate it when women say they need a man to complete their lives, we should be able to complete our own lives and having someone to share that with is an added extra. I think you need to stop looking for someone to make you happy and start doing things for yourself and as lame as it sounds, you will find someone special, beacuse every women loves the confidence of a man who is content with himself. That's just my opinion though, hope it helped :)

[Asker]

Well it seems that women can be desperate and needy, and get away with it, but not us men.

[frustratedchump06]

It's like us guys have have to satisfied being single, but girls don't have to

[Echo444000]

I'm not judging anyone but it seems that not everyone knows the definition of love or irony. If guys judged women the way women judged men we'd never get into a relationship. Seriously guys have male comadary because they can be intimate with each other instead of misandry attitudes from women who think they are weak for showing emotion. The toughest people in the world are soft in some area but as a man they are crucified for showing it. Real women know real men are humans and go through different phases, the most gentle man may be the most ferocious warrior you'll never know unless u see them in action

[Anonymous]

not really. the guy i slept with last week was like this and he was great in bed too. I like him. but it does freak me out when a guy goes too fast on future talks or sweet talk cause i sort of think that he might be another jackass that was just trying to have me wrapped in his finger. i can say that u don't necessary destroy ur chances eventhough you're needy, desperate or clingy. it really depends on the type of girls you're eyeing for. I've had plenty of selfish guys, commitment phobe and all the whatever so called alpha dude before, they cheated on me everytime our relationship hits rock bottom. it does freak me out a bit, i do still like him. i'm freaking out cause he might just want me because i make a good trophy partner or it was just about sex. i meant, we barely know each other right, assumption is all we have and negative assumption it be

[Anonymous]

because they come off like bitches.

also if a guy is desperate and clingy, it doesn't make you feel special. desperate guys just want a girlfriend or to get laid period. I would feel that he has personal issues. he would most likely be like that with any girl, not just me...it just happens he's desperate to me because I'm the one he's dealing with at the time.

[Asker]

Why do you think it's much harder for a guy to hide his desperation than it is for a girl?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know if it's a guy problem and not just you.

[Echo444000]

Women have zero sympathy for torture, read Elephants on acid they have an interesting study on it

[Bears1eat1beats]

I think that the reason it's much harder for guys to hide their desperation is because men and women's brains work differently. Obviously I can't speak for all women but at least for me I think that we sort of overthink all scenarios, emotions, feelings, etc. And then we try to carefully respond based on these thoughts. In my case at least I know I get very paranoid and try to be very careful so that the other person doesn't think I'm being too this or that. Although I don't know how men's brains work either so I can't really fairly compare them both. I also just get kind of freaked out and scared with guys that are too desperate. It just feels like too much and I need some space to be my own person.

[cadevil]

Good question actually I guess that's how we supposed to be to be men who can't be needy and desperate , that's a part of who we are I'm not saying that women's nature is to be desperate but its out nature is not to be like this..

[cadevil]

Our* :D

[Asker]

Another reason why it hurts us guys more is because we have to make the first move and initiate.

[cadevil]

Yeah that's wht I hate :( since I'm a shy guy its very hard for me to make the first move and so on..

[Asker]

Yeah, half the battle is knowing how to do it, and the other half of the battle is going out there and doing, but when you are shy or not outgoing because you don't have a lot of friends, not good at starting conversations, then it is extremely tough. I wish more girls would make the first move or heck, even ask us out, but that is unlikely to change anytime soon.

[armyant]

Well I need a woman to complete my life and admitting it hasn't hurt my relationship. You're looking at this from a very limited perspective which is something I constantly accuse women on this site of doing. Of course men want different things from women than women want from men. We're supposed to work together in life.

[armyant]

And haven't you heard women lately? They don't talk about how much they love and respect men; they talk about how disgusting, creepy and useless men are and how they don't need them. I'm seeing a problem that's completely the opposite of what you're seeing.

[Asker]

Yeah but then a week or month later or 2, you see them dating someone else.

[Anonymous]

Either way that's a bad thing, and women like that are looked down on, if still more acceptable than a man in that case. You sound almost jealous of women for being allowed to be weak.

Because women want someone they can depend on to make them feel secure, and men want someone to depend on them (to some degree) to make them feel important and needed. Plus, that's the way it's been through out history, and it takes a few generations after our actions have changed for our thoughts to change.

[Asker]

Well I've never had a girlfriend in my entire life, it's hard for me to get one since I lack experience.