How important is flirtation to guys?

[Anonymous]

I'm the worst flirt. Like I never learned how to do it so I don't even attempt it because its so cringe-worthy.

Could you guys fall for a girl who really sucks at flirting?
I've had guys lose interest in me SOLELY for being a bad flirt. The only guys who can seem to tolerate it are the super charming flirtatious guys who don't mind doing all of the flirting and see my lack of flirtation as playing hard to get (its not I just suck at flirting).

Updates

+1 y

I guess nobody saw my question

[Mayamoon02]

I don't really know what flirting is.. but I've been told I am a big flirt. I guess its important if you want to build up lust that leads to a hot romance.
So maybe just start by being nice? With a little bit of cheeky spice lol

Joke with guys and tease.
I "flirt" with literally everyone apart from family. If your sense of humour is a little bit sexual then people assume you are flirty.
Sometimes you don't even need to do that. Just some natural attraction makes eye contact smouldering.
Girls don't need to give men compliments during the courting stage. All we got to do is push/pull in a sweet kind of way.

You really should learn if you desire a fulfilling sex life..
If we stop having "mating rituals" then we might as well all become sacks of potatoes.

[Asker]

Clearly you know what flirting is

[Mayamoon02]

Its how I socialise with anyone and just happened to come across as flirting to men.
I meant flirting isn't necessarily a thought process, it should come naturally by just being nice and honest. If you HAVE to fake that then maybe you shouldn't be forcing it!
When you are talking to someone you find attractive, don't hide your instincts and let yourself be a cheeky monkey lol

[Mayamoon02]

I think you are thinking too much about it and what he is thinking about you! Anxiety kills flirting

[FlutteringFeelings]

Flirting, for me it's and unintentional movement that you don't really think about and you just do it. Doesn't matter of the looks , the flirting wouldn't be sexual but it'll have that person thinking am i interested in them or am i crushing? It flows naturally for me but it becomes extreme if the person is attractive and i see something more than friends with them then when i laugh i "might" push them a little it all depends.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Girl, preach! That's me completely.
I honestly don't get why flirting is so important. Lots of older guys seem to *love* when a younger girl flirts and acts all cute. Ugh.

I'm extremely cold and robotic and men seem to not like such bluntness and upfront honesty.
I'm kinda like the Terminator when expressing interest "come with me if you want to date." Lol

[Kinstrome]

You probably aren't as bad at flirting as you think you are. Many flirtatious signals are displayed unconsciously by the body, such as looking down, modifying your clothing, flicking your hair back or otherwise playing with your hair, and holding eye contact a little longer than usual, among many other things.

Even if you are bad at it, it won't deter the majority of men. It just makes it harder for men to feel comfortable approaching you. If you want to work on flirting, there are plenty of resources out there.

[Asker]

I'm pretty bad. I don't flirt at all really. I'm really bad at eye contact. I can't stare somebody down. I might hold eye contact for like 2 seconds at most. I don't considering flicking my hair as flirting, I do that all the time, just to get it out of my face.

Actually it does deter men. The last guy that was flirtatious with me just dropped our conversation out of nowhere just because I wasn't flirting the way he wanted me to. I don't have a problem getting guys to approach me. I'm approached a lot, but keeping a conversation going without it being awkward is where I fail.

[Kinstrome]

Seems like a weird-ass guy who would just drop a conversation a girl just because she wasn't flirting rightly. Remember that the problem isn't always on your end.

If you want a recommendation on a book to read, Conversationally Speaking was one I read a while ago. It isn't about flirting, but it does help with learning how to carry on a good conversation and to get other people to feel comfortable talking to you.

[Frost_Byt3]

I tend to associate flirtatiousness with promiscuity. I know that some girls may be good flirts, while still refusing to sleep around. But in my head it's safer to just date girls who don't do those kinds of things.

In short: no, it wouldn't bother me.

[Asker]

How do you know she is interested then? The guys who answered said there's no way of knowing a girl likes you unless she flirts.

[Frost_Byt3]

They may have different definitions of "flirting" than I do. For me, when someone says "flirting" I picture women acting like airheads, twirling their gum, and dropping their pencils.

You can walk up to me and ask me for a cup of coffee sometime without acting like a seductive pornstar.

[MGspeed]

If she can speak plainly and honestly then why play games. If you like someone, just say so.

[Frost_Byt3]

@MGspeed
Exactly. Just be straight up. Don't use sexual prowess to try to get inside my head.

[marcussg1]

If you're a bad flirt then own up to it and approach and be honest. Express interest in xyz. Guys appreciate that. The dating game is old and frustrating for us. Skip it all and go to hanging out which is the real test of compatibility. Doesn't have to be solo just quality time.

[Asker]

I own up to it. I don't even try to act like I can lol.

[AleDeEurope]

I'm a huge flirt, I enjoy playing the flirting game, it's fun, and builds attraction between both.
Flirting and her not flirting back will be taken as a sign of disinterest, and I'll probably move on to another girl. If I can't have fun during the first stage, I'm probably out.

I think the only way I could fall for a girl that doesn't flirt is if I know her before I'm interested in her.

[MGspeed]

Personally I would prefer we just be honest and speak our minds. Example: "Hi, you're pretty. Oh thank you. Want to go out? Sure or no. "Whatever, just know that most men (I am 30 so I can't speak for the young kids here) dont like to play games. Also, would be nice if we could say things like you're pretty and not get looked at like a rapist.

[anonflower]

Maybe you are just nervous and that's okay. I've heard and been told that I'm a good flirt, which is weird because I'm shy and quiet most of the time. Some guys may get annoyed and not talk to you and that's okay. Other guys might help you along. It can depend on the situation.

[SinisterS]

Same as KenM9215 dont even know how its done and kind of slow to figure out if some girl is trying to...
can't say for others but i have no problem with girls not knowing to flirt, problem is sometimes you can't actually see that person is fun or cool to hang out with or you won't know if she is interested...

[thewho1975]

Well i wouldn't worry yourself about flirting, being good company and not gobby or up oneself is as attractive as anything else to many guys to be honest!

[Asker]

What do you mean by gobby? I have never heard that expression.

[thewho1975]

Sorry im UK it means being heard over everyone and talking trash just to get attention! it really comes across obvious and is not attractive to most guys anyway

[Asker]

Oh I'm not like that I'm down to earth

[thewho1975]

Good for you just do your own thing and be you above all!

[TheHoneyBadger]

I've fallen for a girl who sucks at flirting, but it does make it much harder for things to progress. Basically it can work you just have to be open enough to let someone know if you're interested since usually that's the role flirting would play.

[JSmuve]

Flirting is important. It let's us know you're interested. Otherwise we just assume you're not interested in us and we're wasting our time

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Took the words right out of my mouth

[Asker]

too bad then I guess

[Anonymous]

It's actually important. If you're not good at it, they will assume you're not interested.

[Asker]

Yeah you're probably right. It takes a lot to convince a guy I like him without having to say it.

[zorro8888]

Flirting is very important, not only does it show a mutual interest but it allows the guy to see how funny and witty you can be.

[Asker]

I'm pretty witty but not in a cute flirty way

[Kalsin]

It is in no way a thing to reject you for, you just need to let him know that you are interested. Wether through physical touch, or a hug, or whatever. Flirting isn't that important to a lot of guys as long as you let him know that, again, your interested, and that you appreciate him, you know? Like a lot of people flirt through compliments and vice versa. So give him some compliments! Hope this helps.

[ritxi]

For me flirtation is very important. That's what make difference between being my girlfriend and just a friend. I find no way to love a girl as a girlfriend if she doesn't flirt with me.

[Asker]

What if she's really pretty and funny

[MGspeed]

She lets you saeat on top of her and puts up with your stub. That makes her your girlfriend.

[ritxi]

These are two advantages to conquist me, but they aren't enough to become my girlfriend, I have some females friends who are and we are just friends.

[KenM9215]

I won't lie, I'm a horrible flirt as well and I'm horrible at picking up on flirtation that isn't more on the obvious side lol.

[akadatank44]

You need to tell the guys you like them then be straightforward. If you can't flirt we don't get any signs. Then we will loose interest. So its up to you to show the interest

[Asker]

Well there's no way I'm doing that

[akadatank44]

Well than how can you expect a guy to know he likes you? Ik straight forward with a girl I'm talking to. You just gotta let them know what's up. I'm saying this after you've talked for awhile and all that jazz

[orphan]

just do what half this generation does.. meet them on the internet first.

then once youj're out on your first date it'll be assumed you like each other, flirting or not.

[Asker]

I hate internet dating. I can never find attractive guys who aren't catfishes.

[orphan]

according to you, you can't meet them in person either. =\

[Asker]

When did I say I can't meet guys in person?

[orphan]

"'Ive had guys lose interest in me SOLELY for being a bad flirt. "

[Asker]

Umm... that doesn't say I can't meet guys in person.
I meet guys in person and get approached all the time.

[orphan]

but what's the point when you claim something you don't do screws up every encounter

[Fearless_banana]

Lol if you act like an awkward spaz I probably won't be asking for your number. I could maybe help you out if you gives me scenarios

[Omgjosh]

I'm pretty good at seeing when a girl is trying, and it means even more to me because I know it's hard for them.

[Asker]

Aww that's sweet. You're a good one.

[MikeGaultier]

Very. I'm clueless when it comes to "signs" so a little flirting helps me gauge her interest.

[Darkone1]

Its like, trying to get grades in math paper without calculator.

[Anonymous]

flirting comes in different levels in my opinion. unintentional where a person just likes you just bc you laugh like a seal. intentional where you bat your eye lashes and smile to yourself once they look and then there's this intentional direct kind where you talk to them even if you're the only one who saw them. either way flirtation signals interest where men think is a go signal to approach the person so it all depends if a guy likes to be first to engage or would want to be engaged.