My boyfriend won't tell me if he is a virgin or not?

[CharredPages]

We've been dating four months.

We've had nothing but problems with how secretive he is.

He won't tell me if he is a virgin or not. I don't want to be physical with someone until I know their sexual history. He said it shouldn't matter because it's his past. It doesn't matter to me, but I still would like to know. I told him it's like asking his favourite colour. It's not going to change anything, but I still want to know.

I don't know why he's so weird about sharing things with me. Especially if he's a virgin or not. Like it's not a hard question to answer. He knows I'm not a virgin.

All my friends say it's a red flag that every question I ask is like pulling teeth. Thoughts and advice about future steps to take? Thanks!

[snowshy]

I wouldn't be with someone who wouldn't tell me the truth about that. You can't start a relationship on secrets, then you literally don't know where you stand because your foundations are rocky. Sounds like he has something to hide and for that, I would highly recommend you do not sleep with him because he could have an STD. Best case scenario is he's either a virgin and embarrassed or he's had many sexual partners and that also embarrasses him.

[LucieI]

Although it is in his past and shouldn't change anything, it is important for you to know in case he could have contracted any STDs from past lovers or anything of the sort. The main problem, though, is that he doesn't trust you enough to tell you and that he's being secretive. There's obviously a trust issue, and I think y'all should break up.

[CharredPages]

I brought that issue up. His response? "I'm clean." 🤦🏻‍♀️ You can share that with me, but you can't share if you are a virgin or not? There's a very big trust issue. Thank you for your advice. 💕

[LucieI]

Of course, I hope things work out for you. :)

[Belorum]

Well probably he was with more women to tell and is now afraid of your reaction to that. 🤔
Could also be that he is ashamed of being a virgin... guys are weird ^^

[CharredPages]

I know, but I said I literally don't care. It's not going to change anything I think about him. I just should know so we can get tested together and stuff (if he's not a virgin).

[sunrays1]

If it doesn’t bother you and nothing will change then why do you want to know so badly? It shouldn’t matter. Leave the poor guy alone

[savalisk]

Its probably something very important to him.
Some things may seem unimportant to you but incredibly precious to others.

For all you know, he probably is a virgin and feels he will be judged harshly for it. Guys tend to be judged pretty harshly for this sort of thing.

[Sparkzs]

Find someone who's not a pain in the ass and who is willing to answer simple questions.

[CharredPages]

XD simple and so true! Thanks for the answer.

[Sparkzs]

It's a bit reductionist, but glad you got a kick out of it :P

If it's a red flag not depends entirely on his reasoning for not wanting to tell you.
If he's just being a difficult little shit and that's his version of playing, then... you're dating a twat, but that's not all bad.
If he's hiding his sexual history because he has a disease or something, I think you get a free pass to put a rake up inside him, business end first.
If he's worried because he's a virgin and that you'll think less of him for it, he's insecure and needs some encouragement, which is eye-roll-worthy but not a vice.

Try sorting out his rationale for wanting to keep that secret and I think you'll uncover a lot about him, and it might end up causing you two to be closer for it.

For me, tho, that's too much fucking work and too close to high school minded children's' games to be worth the effort; so I'd hop back to the proverbial ocean to catch another fish.

[CharredPages]

Yeah, I'm not sure if he deserves that much effort. XD

[Sparkzs]

If you're on the fence about him being worth the work on simple shit like this; then he's absolutely not worth the effort for things that actually matter. Date him till the sex goes bad and then get yourself an upgrade.

[Sparkzs]

Also, if you're up for it, I kinda want to hear about this relationship.
Up for it being story time?

[CharredPages]

I'm down! You message me? I don't have enough points to message you.

[Sparkzs]

Deal! :D

[thechico79]

It shouldn't be a problem for a yes or no answer to be answered. But he did say it's his past, that might be the answer right there. what he probably afraid of is to answer the follow up question of, how many?

[sensi11]

If you're already having problems with honesty, you're in for a fun ride.

[CharredPages]

I know right? I think I may have to shut this down.

[sensi11]

Ya go Gordon Ramsay on him.

[CharredPages]

😂 totally!

[krishh0805]

Well, if he is unwilling to share his virginity info with you and if it's making you uncomfortable. l think you should dump him.

[CharredPages]

Yeah, I've been thinking about that. It might be time to break up with him.

[HamAndCheese]

Issue an ultimatum. Tell him to answer or else. Put your foot down.

[CharredPages]

I might have to try that. Thank you!

[Dxk007]

You must say, "Will you apply for a bank account without, the paper work. Similarly, I need to know somethings about you in order to stay in a relationship."

[Ayan_king]

Grow up get out of dat virginity and stuff and still if it bothers u den gain his trust make him fall in love get him bit drunk and have sex with him you will find out urself if god has gifted u with some brain

[IntoTheFlame]

Why the fuck do you need to know so badly?
Unless he's contracted a disease he doesn't need to tell you shit about his sexual history.

[teddybeer]

What's wrong it's a personal matter? You haven't had sex with him obviously. How long have y'all been not having sex?

[Digital_Fruit_37]

It really shouldn't matter if he is or not. He with you now. That's all that matters.

[chloehatespeople]

He could have been raped or something. 4 months isn't a lot of time. And virginity isn't real anyway.

[kendrass]

U never had intimidate with him?

[CharredPages]

The farthest we've gone is kissing. No touching or anything yet. To be honest, it's like super slow. 😂 Slower than I'm used to (I've only had one partner before him). But I'm also hesitant because he's not being very forthcoming.

[kendrass]

maybe he wants to be saved for marriage if it matters more than anyone more virgin than the one who wants it you are going to reject him

[kendrass]

U are lucky him respect u that means love for me 😊

[CharredPages]

Thing is though, he said he doesn't mind sex before marriage. :/

[kendrass]

Well maybe him is virgin and him had fear don't can't handle that situation 😊

[CharredPages]

Maybe. That would explain it. :/ thanks for your answer! 😘

[kendrass]

Yw girly I hope all good for u and u boyfriend 😇😇😇

[fastasfucboi]

the reason he won't tell you is because he's embarassed about being a virgin lmao

[Anonymous]

I don't really think it matters if he is or not. As long as he has no kids, and or STD's, it shouldn't matter. Remember, you don't have to have sex, to get STD's

[abundantlyrich]

He is defo a virge

[CharredPages]

😂 thanks!

[abundantlyrich]

It affects his manhood.

[abundantlyrich]

He's probably saving it for u

[Nahid1234]

Bad sign, he should be honest and tell.

[Anonymous]

He says it is his past. I think he is not virgin

[Jo1991]

Really why is it such a big deal for you?

[themythh]

I'd say yes... leave him alone though.

[CharredPages]

Yes to what?

[themythh]

A virgin... not many guys don't admit it they are. More often his ego is hurt by being one. There for not telling you. Guys brag about the sex they have and not that aren't or have had sex.

[CharredPages]

Ah, I see. Thanks for your response!

[Whiterecluse]

He might not see it that way or believe you.

[GayHowellMeme]

He’s just a man.