Do men care about the social status of the women they date and/or marry?

Question

I work in a bakery. I'm not a pastry chef. Really, I am an operative although I do quite a bit of baking. I make a modest salary. At most, around 400 Euros a week. ( I'm from Ireland). And well, I am a little insecure. I'm not a Doctor, lawyer, teacher, executive etc. I don't have the dignity of these professions. I'm in a pretty humble job to tell the truth. I read a study that suggested that people can be embarrassed associating with those of a lower social standing than themselves. I feel like because of the feminist movement, men want women who are strong, independent, powerful, who have a great career.

lord_chilled · Accepted Answer

If you want the bare truth, here it is:

Men do care about the social status of a woman. At least quality men do.
But how we rate your social status is very, very different from how you rate ours.
It doesn't matter to us how much you earn. It doesn't matter to us how "high end" your job is.
Social status to us is pretty much your percieved sexual status. Now hear me out.
This is literally how we rank women, not in terms of attractiveness, but in terms of how likely we would be to commit.

If you have had many sexual partners, and a lot of people know it, your social status goes down a lot.
If you have had many sexual partners, and only the partners, friends or a few people know, your social status goes down, but not as much as above.
If you haven't have had many sexual partners, but for some reason, people think you did, your social status goes down.

Now , for the following scenarios, just keep in mind the more people know these things, the lower your social status gets.
If you ever given sex for money, your social status goes down.
If you are a practising prostitute, your social status is almost non existent.
If you have slutty girlfriends, your social status goes down.
If you have a big number of male friends, your social status slightly goes down.
If you are a party girl, and like to drink, your social status goes down.
If you have had many boyfriends, your social status slightly goes down.
If you have ever cheated/been unloyal, your social status goes down.
If you keep posting boob/ass shots on social media, your social status goes down.

If you ever participated in a 3some, gangbang, had a ons, had an open relationship or a fwb/fb situation, your social status goes down to various degrees.
Every couple years after the age of 35(argued 40, by some friends of mine) your social status slightly decreses by a bit.

So, the basic thing to take from this is that as a woman, you start out with top level social status, but your actions lower it.(the opposite of a male's where he has to obtain it)
The more slutty and less trustwirthy those actions seem, the lower it gets.

Also note that "social status" in this situation has absolutely nothing to do with attractiveness. They are unrelated. You can still be of very low social status and be incredibly attractive.
The key of social status here is commitment.
In other words, if you are of lower status (but attractive) , men still want to have intercourse with you , but they dont want to commit.

englisc · Accepted Answer

Men don't really tend to care that much about a woman's status or her job, if anything for us, apart from personality of course it's mainly looks that get the attention of men. How many rich guys go for younger hot women vs older women with careers? Many older career women complain that they can't find good men and that many of the men their age go for younger women. Well that's because men and women look for different things in a partner instinctively. Women look for a man who can provide and protect her and her children (status, power, money, height, athleticism), men look for a woman who can have healthy children (youth, good skin and hair, healthy weight). Those are the things that attract a guy.

If anything it's feminism that teaches women that they're not worth anything without a big salary and a career like a man, and they degrade the role of Motherhood. But ultimately the things we find attractive in a partner are all about finding the best partner to create the strongest offspring. Feminists aren't known for being realistic when it comes to biology though are they?

JacquelineBuan · Accepted Answer

This doesn't answer your question but I'd like to address a point you made- every single person should realize how significant and relevant their professions are. If we were all doctors and lawyers who would provide us with food and shelter? We need to have all these different professions that greatly contribute to society- I have the utmost respect for sanitation workers without whom our communities would literally be trashy. I have the utmost respect for bakers because sometimes a nice loaf of bread or a beautiful cake is what it takes to turn someone's day into a happy one.

I hope you and everyone out there will have more pride for your professions.

-nurse

lumos · Accepted Answer

Because of the feminist movement, people should have already opened their eyes and started accepting the different classes of society (intersectional feminism). So feminism shouldn’t have anything to do with certain men wanting powerful women.
Actually in a lot of cases it seems like the man prefers it when his girl is making less than him/has less status because his fragile hypermasculine ego wouldn’t be able to handle it if she was better than him.
But luckily there are men out there who just don’t give a fuck and are happy as long as you’re happy, whether that’s as a CEO or a baker.

Gianna17 · Accepted Answer

Obviously most don't want to date a bum who lives off of them but if they really liked you i doubt they would care if you were not a lawyer or something. Just keep doing your own thing and work towards being as independent as possible and guys will respect that.

sarawelsh122 · Accepted Answer

No most men don't. Most men are lookinf for a woman to settle down with that will be able to have and care for his children. Men typically want to be the bread winners and provide care for their families. They could care less if the woman has a minimum wage job

ChronicThinker · Answer

Some do, but not nearly as much as women I find. Unless the guy is extremely successful and finds success as a primary attractive quality, most men are happy with a girl they find attractive who isn't a slouch in life at least.

deroy · Answer

Instead of going after a particular gender, I'd say, there is a group of people in both, who prefer digging into social status before selecting a partner and there is a group in both, who do not.
Yet, I feel the question you asked is not the real question, you want answered. Deep down, the question is, regarding you, what should be of more value to your partner. Is it what people think of you? Or is it what your partner will think of you?
There is a twist here. People do not make their choices independently, which is often they are led to believe. It's always driven by social views , from a little to a great extent. Apparently, you may think, that those who dig into social status are the ones who bother about social opinion. But those who you may feel do not bother about social opinion, since social status is not important to them, they do as well. The only difference is, they bank upon their strengths and courage to make the choice. But the twist is, Strength and courage of any one, be it a man or a woman have a certain level of vulnerability. How vulnerable it is, is what decides how much the social status matter to them.

And make no mistake, sometimes, the social status, you are referring to, starts from people at your own home. Your own family or parents.
And you can fight what the neighbours, staying ten block away, think about you and your partner, as a couple, for rest of life. But what about those who are near and around you? You won't be able to fight them off to prove them wrong all your life.

Unless, yes there is an unless... one starts accepting a reality and start doing things to support their partner. So that they grow more strong and confident , which they banked upon, while making a choice to ignore the so called 'social opinion on social status'.

Christpaquin · Answer

I don't care about the social status, I would be more turn off by your lack of ambition but it's me.

I don't think that a lot of guys search women with ambitions, but a lot of women search that.

If you want to attract the good guys work on yourself, it means improve yourself in any area, physical, emotional, spiritual career etc...

By emotional I mean solve your fucking issues, stop telling that its impossible, you can't, you don't want.

If you don't, you are not going to realize your dream, your life is going to suck and you are going to die with regrets.

Improve yourself and build a legacy.

It's hard to be poor and hard to be rich, choose your hard!

When you feel fucking depress because your life suck or that you can't pay stuff to your child it's hard.

When you feel fucking depress because you've no sale since weeks it's hard

Choose your hard.

Your issue is more with your self esteem, work on it.

Download the pstec app and watch that video to learn how to unfuck yourself

CallMeDave · Answer

I don't think that most men care very much about their partner's job. Whether you are a nice person, whether he enjoys being with you, etc. are far more important.

From your question, it seems that you think doctors, lawyers, teachers, and executives would make better partners. That might not be true for a lot of guys. For someone that likes to spend a lot of time with their partner, those might actually be undesirable jobs because they usually require a lot of time (which leaves less time to be with their partner) and often a lot of stress (which might make them harder to relax and have fun with). Also a lot of guys might feel uncomfortable with a woman that has a much more prestigious job than they do and for someone like that those professions might be undesirable.

Here's something to think about in your own job. A lot of guys like to eat and would look at your baking skills as a plus. (Have you ever heard the phrase "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"?) I was once in a relationship with someone that was a good cook and great baker and I enjoyed all the tasty stuff she made. That's not why I loved her, but I definitely appreciated it.

I think you should be proud of the abilities you have and not feel like you are somehow below women with other abilities. If you are a nice person, there are plenty of guys around who will love you for who you are. And any that select a women because of her status are probably not guys you want to be with anyway because their focus is on the wrong thing.

Anonymous · Answer

I know feminism is trying to peddle that idea but no, guys don't really care about your education or status.

It's about meeting an acceptably level of looks (which is mostly about face and silhouette more than anything, it doesn't mean being 'dolled up,' there's little need for that) to get the ball rolling and then having compatible character.

So for me this would mean you don't need to be educated but you would be like-minded or wise and complimentary to me.

You don't need a career, most people don't have careers, they have jobs so don't worry about that. You don't even need a job. Just as long as you have a willingness not to drain me financially that's fine.

So that's it, the things I want:
1. Be physically attractive, it's not super hard to be attractive to guys as a girl and it's easier to get interested in girls that approach, so just get out there.
2. Your intent is to not be a parasite and ideally have a willingness not to benefit from any wealth I have. However, if you're between jobs or pregnant with my child of course I'm going to support you -- with the exception being with we just met and you're between jobs then I'm going to be hesitant to give that support right away. Also the jobs shouldn't be sex work.
3. Be like-minded or at least compatible in character. You certainly don't need an education, your education itself doesn't mean anything to me. It's honestly quite annoying when girls feel the need to drop the factoid that they have degrees *in a manner that expects me to care.* I don't so don't wave it in my face as if it's supposed to matter to me.

atul_kumar · Answer

No, please don't think about this shit. There is no better makeup then self confidence. If you have the courage to say in front of 20 people that you are not that rich, if you have the courage to stand for what you think is right, if you have a courage to be alive, if you have the courage to say someone that you love him even if he is rich you are the richest person. Never feel like you are poor. You have the guts to change yourself and create your future at any moment of life. Your future self is begging you to not think this shit. This is all shit. Money is just a mediam to buy or sell something. It doesn't fucking decide who you are. IT DOESN'T FUCKING DECIDE WHO YOU ARE.
I hope it will help you and if you have any doubt you can reply.. I will come soon.

nevermoregirl7 · Answer

Contrary to popular belief, feminism really isn't a factor in dating life. I know this because I have boldly expressed feminist opinions, and still managed relationships and catch on admirers (note that I am taken, yet still admirers).

In gender studies, men are more about appearance than financial security. Women are more about financial security. It could be a man does have a preference for a woman to make her own money. But I also have friends he prefer their wives don't work.

Guys can have a different preference just like girls. You just have to keep searching.

carlos06 · Answer

You're mixing two different things.
You are not your job. Being strong, independent or powerful is not tied to your job (it helps, but it's not tied to it).
The thing "associating with those of lower (or upper for that matter) status, in general, is not about your job but about your behavior.

Now, if all of this comes from you wanting someone with a good job, well that's kinda shitty of you, on the other hand if you only want somebody that likes you for who you are and that you like for who they are, don't worry about your job but try to improve who you are...

Lastly, if you feel like you deserve more, go for it, you can do it

ruffik · Answer

You should always aim for a person who is similar to you. Because with difference in income/status come different views on the same thing. Him: "Lets go to Spain to a 4* hotel for a week!" You: "It's expensive, better spend money on X" him: "It's fine, don't worry". It's just an example. So if you want to go over this, you need to compensate it with something, like being a very good fit for him, so that others will say "yes, she might work in bakery, but they are such a good fit for each other that any person will be willing to have that kind of a partner" (just an example). Generally marriages are more stable the more similar people are, just because there is less room for disagreement

nerdyguy123 · Answer

It depends, mostly dont care about your profession as of what you are doing now,

BUT almost all educated guys would like to spend time with someone who is on comparable education level (like if you went to university to study philosophy, the guy who did MBA and working as executive will still date you).

I am well educated, have decent job and potential. I care less how much she makes, or what she is doing, for some reasons, it makes it even more attractive for me, if she is not doing very high end job as I like to be bread earner. For me, most important will be your inner personality, can I have good intellectual conversation with you, how much you make or what you are doing now, would care less.

hahahmm · Answer

Some guys care. Some don’t... but I have known women who did not bother to have a career and when their marriage ended they were in a lot of trouble. It gets harder to get a job or build a career the older you get. Unless you are marrying a really rich guy, you would be wise to give yourself more options. Cause money gets more important the older you get too. You’re not going to want an empty bank account later in life. Or to have to stay with a guy who treats you poorly just for his money.

Also, competition for the desirable guys gets harder the older you get. Life sucks in some ways.

Detemer · Answer

I don't think men do that honestly.
He will love you for what u are and be happy to see you follow your passion
And the whole feminist movement was started by women... men never really demanded women to make millions.
So if u do that's great for u if u don't... I don't think men will criticize u.
Yes the person who is successful is admired but not by a specific gender.
Success is admired. Doesn't mean it's the only aspect men would consider before marrying a woman.
Stay patient and marry the person who loves u for what u are :)

5x9BOB · Answer

If a man cares more about your social status then your heart, then I wouldn't even bother. Secondly if men are rich and pompous and arrogant then they're not looking for a woman of power or a woman of business, they're looking for a Barbie doll to hang on their arm. Third, people usually hang out with and socialize and meet others from their social groups. You would be hard-pressed to find a person of honesty, respect, polite, caring, loving, giving sharing and thoughtfulness in such a group who value appearances more so than values. You never know where your true love will come from so I wouldn't worry about what others think or judge oh, I would just do you stay positive and your beauty inside will be noticed.

maximusdoes · Answer

Men for the most part will not focus on your financial status as long as you excel in the qualities that make you high status. Contrary to feminist belief, men do not want strong, independent, powerful women. Men are programmed to protect and they want to protect. If you really want to attract a good man, you should capitalize on your feminine traits around the men you like. Of course I'm not saying you can't be a strong, independent, women just that these traits will probably push more men away than they bring in.

sentenced1 · Answer

Tbh... i want a woman who is just down to earth and real... idc about her job... her money.. or her status... and please don't use the feminist card.. honestly people just want people they like and are attracted too.. men are looking for the right time to aproach... I will share a video I have seen that's very true.. U should really pay attention to it. But atlesst me... I do want a girl who's willing to work and not just say I want to stay at home with the kids... and u support us.. like this isn't 1950... cost of everything is harder.. So that's definitely something I look for

Miristheiss · Answer

For me no. Would I feel less towards her or be ashamed of her if she were a cashier at a Dollar Value store verses having a high positions with some successful company? That wouldn't matter to me at all. Only that she were a sweet person, was very feminine, fun, pleasant to be around, we shared values and I was attracted to her.

There are careers that would be deal breakers. Strippers, anyone whose ever does or was a sex worker or cam model. Careers that put too much strain on a relationship to wear she was gone all the time and work always got in the way of us being together or if she had to travel a lot for work. All of those situations would most likely be deal breakers but I don't think "social status" would be the reason.

DrDominNoJones · Answer

Not if she's cool. Helps if she's pretty and also cool, but cool is more than enough on it's own, they'll find all the beautiful in you if you're just down AF and rad. Besides, pastries are dope. The only people who care about social status are fucking retarded, and if they value security and money over love then they'll never really have love, so forget about those people immediately, they're lost causes. A nice pastry chef lady is WAY MORE VALUABLE THAN ANY 100 LAWYERS. What do they really do, besides argue for money in a corrupt legal system that's just designed to resist change? They're overpaid beurocrats who are basically doing shakespeare in a vestigial colliseum of bullshit. I've
Seen a lotta people eat pastries, and they were fuckin happy. I've never seen anyone happy in a courtroom. Leave all that status guilt behind, love. It was never meant to belong to you, we dont need it. We need pastries. :)

TopCA · Answer

Unlike women men don't seek high status and money. Because we traditionally provide the resources to the relationship. Men care if women are:
- Nice
- Respectful to them and others
- Well taken care of (you don't have to be a supermodel or even good looking just fit)
- Honesty & like to communicate (yes men like this too)
- And most importantly not a Hoe

The only reason you care because most likely you aren't looking for a high status man.

cookie_monster007 · Answer

No not at all. Men don't mind that thing at at all. Well I don't. And if I am gonna love a girl, I don't check how much they make or etc. Just think about it. Imagine a boy asking a girl "do you have a decent job? " And if the answer is yes, "I LOVE YOU" and if isn't.. "I don't love you"? Seems kinda creepy. Right?

So I don't care if she makes a decent salary or not. If she loves what she do,(be it baking or arts or anything) I don't have any objection. She is making her own living and I am gonna keep her close even if she loses the job and we will look for he next step together.

thinkaloudtolive · Answer

I was actually thinking about this today. I don't care exactly what it is that a woman does, how much money she makes, or the social status associated with her career, as long as she is doing something she is passionate about or aspiring to be better/make those around her better. (E. g. She is driven by what she does, or it gives her a sense of purpose) not just going through the motions & hating her job for the next 30 years, and not willing to make a change.

After all, money doesn't define success anyways.

Do men care about the social status of the women they date and/or marry?

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