A mega flirt or a creep?

Question

So this Guy (a coworker) wich ireally liked during the summer (followed him around like a puppy but never had the guts to act like it because i felt something was off. Turns out he has a a girlfriend in the country he studied in when he went abroad) now does a lot of this;
* Trying to get my attention
* Making remarks to little details i told him once months ago that my sister doesn't even remeber
* When we were out clubbing in the same club (wasnt planned Just tan into him) he kept trying to get me to drink (i dont and he knows that) and make out with a girl right in front of me while looking at me before he did that, during and after (i was like care..)
* If i make a joke like; under my eyes i got this huge dark circles. Baggs you can call them. But i am going for the suitcase look he said oh i thought you were going for the hooker look

I said something to him wich ended me saying well that ain't good for your ego he said well yes my ego Just dropped to my pants height
(He makes these kind of suggestive/creepy comments whenever we exit the office, never inside)

* He is quite interested in my dating life and asks like hey you just refurnished your attic i heard. Turned into a sm attic or something? Not like you were getting any action there before right?

* He points out stuff of my face like that my philtrum is narrow (wtf) and he thinks that i have interesting stand off/stand out features as a whole.

*We are both nerdy gamers and now whenever he gets boter he starts to humm gaming themes songs from games he knows i like

*We have these inside Jokes from the summer that we both sometimes reference (we did had a lot of shifts together and not much to do so we had our fun/joking moments at work) and then he gets all happy and puppy like
*Also he likes to het a little to close in my personality space; no touching really Just quite close

Idont like him anymore. I wanna be normal coworkers and be Nice and friendly, maybe have or Jokes every now and then like normal people?

Updates

+1 y

I gave him the cold shoulder starting from September and two weeks ago i was like maybe talk to him again since we need to work together for 8 hours (and he is not bad company when he is not being so creepy) and in those past 2,5 months i Saw him flirting with every new girl who looks a bit like me (blonde Hair blue eyes fair skin). Even the girl at the club was a look a like in a way.

If he wanted me he could have had me this summer when i was crushing on him and didn't know he had a girlfriend

Tuomaaash · Accepted Answer

I think he´s both actually, a creep and a mega-flirt.

The fact that he´s cheating on his girlfriend is already bad news enough to steer away from him. There are many guys like this, but trying to take advantage of a co-worker who clearly isn´t interested anymore isn´t flirting, it´s sexual harrasment. If I were you, I´d tell him to stop those remarks and say that you don´t like it. You wish for him to be just your colleague so make it clear. He´s trying to rub it in your face and probably hates the fact that you are not easy as you were during summer.
Sometimes guys realize what they would´ve gotten when the girl turns another leaf. I strongly advise you to let him be and ignore all his remarks and ofc telling him straight that he should stop. He doesn´t respect you as a person, he just wants to have sex with you. If he continues that kind of behavior, it´s time to send a message to HR.

Cyfris · Accepted Answer

From the sounds of things he is displaying typical schoolyard male behaviors. he likes you but is to insecure about himself to properly address these feelings.. The thing you have to do now that you have sent so many mixed signals there is no way for him to know what you want is to talk to him and establish clear boundaries. I like when we have fun and makes jokes.. I don't like when you attack me and invade my personal space... don't surprised if this pushes him out of your life entirely as this will be a huge blow to the male ego

Catalina2203 · Accepted Answer

Rather than creepy id say he is a bit of an asshole. Sounds like its rather his body calling for your attention than his head. For what you say, he sounds like he is interested in getting physical with you since all your statements denote certain lust. doesn't sound like the kind of guy who would make a good boyfriend for u tho. No guy wanting to take a girl out the classy way would tell you he thinks you're going for the hooker look. Lol

MarianneF · Accepted Answer

He needs a girlfriend and he is using one of the worst strategies: "Throw spaghetti to the wall and see what sticks". Don't be the wall.
A good coworker is not always a good friend or worse, a good SO?

Gypsy_x · Accepted Answer

When he says something inappropriate, call him out on it. You have probably flirted with him in the past, and so he may not realise its unwanted.

Mortdikeuu · Accepted Answer

He's very predatory. He'd give Spacey a run for his money

Bloopman · Answer

That sounds more creepy than flirty, honestly. Some of those things, like especially him getting really close or some of the more sexual themed jokes, could warrant a call to HR where you work, or a conversation with a manager depending on your job. I know you said he's a friend, but if you tell him to stop and he doesn't, he might just not be satisfied with being friends, and that's sadly something you'll just have to come to terms with. If he won't let you be friends, and insists it's relationship or nothing, just go with nothing, sad as it may be.

FloydMan · Answer

Just a lie fool not worth wasting time on. He’ll pull you low too if you get in serious.
Most importantly , remember you can just be friends with him and control his actions. You be friends with him , or just keep it to simple restricted professional acquaintance. It’s up to you.
If you were my friend in real life , It’d make a good laugh listening to his weird attempts , but even then eventually I’d have told you you can definitely do better than lowering yourself to this.
Also. . Seems ,
He needs some good fcks right now it seems. He has his own chapter of life he might be trying to work on. Either you’re with him..
Or you stay away from him.

Don’t stay in between and then later blame him or yourself please.

hugs4rentSocialclub · Answer

Yeah creeper. The fact he as a girlfriend outside the country, probably knows she's been talking to other guys too. I dont know exactly what the hell is wrong with this guy: is he being annoying since he doesn't know how to talk to women properly, that this "creeper moves" won his gf's questionable relationship, he's going insane, is he scared of being lonely, lonely to the point of tired of using his hands for self gratification, probably he thinks you're easy, he thinks these "creeper moves" turns you on? Yeah he's all over the place. Probably the suck part is if you ignore him right away, he might be more obnoxious seeking for more attention like a stupid dog.

deanlarouche · Answer

Well if that creep had a girlfriend then he has no business flirting with you or anyone else for that matter. He is cheating in his girlfriend weather he is in a separate country then his girlfriend who probably has no idea what he's doing.. my advice is to tell him how he makes you feel and your uncomfortable with his creepiness. And ask him to lighten up on the jokes. And act like a coworker not some horny farm dog. by the way I noticed some of his jokes are plain rude and saying the hooker look if I was a women I would have throwen my drink at him. If I drank. lol

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Tell him/ask him. Maybe he wants to be friends, maybe he wants more but either way next time he attempts to "hit on" you ask him about his girlfriend, see how he responds. Or you can just ask him outright if he is hitting on you then explain that your not interested anymore.

AlexLM · Answer

Please put a grand amount of distance between you and this guy. That's very creepy and actually an astonishing amount of serial killer-ish red flags.

There's no good intentions behind it. It's creepy, not normal, and honestly... Weird, violating, and wrong.

Logorithim · Answer

This guy is definitely a creep who is immature and doesn't know how to handle his feelings and emotions- what he does is not flirting. Yes, he's interested in you and can't deal with it. You want him to move on and not bother you. Tell him that you want to be left alone when it comes to your personal sphere and that he should remain professional when dealing with you (and do not do it too nicely, either).

SomeAverageDude318 · Answer

Question. Have you ever told him that you only like him as a friend/coworker? I only ask because there are many missing variables here which make it seem like he's more of a creeper than a flirter. For instance, setting boundaries on personal space bubble, what's cool or not cool to say to you, etc.

Menelin · Answer

Sounds like he got some "advice" from pick-up artists trying to get you into him. I've read advice columns for some help as well, but I know better than to put those particular things into action. If he makes out with a girl and gauges your jealousy or tries to get with you while already in a relationship, he's a creep.

tctravis007 · Answer

Thanks for the request. Hard to know for sure but it seems like he is bit too much into playing games and seeking attention. I do not know enough to call him a creep but has the attributes of a player... best to avoid those types so it is good you saw all this before getting involved. Cheers :)

WhistleForTheChoir · Answer

The difference between a mega-flirt and a creep is whether or not you're attracted to the person or not. If when you liked him he was a "mega-flirt", now that you don't like him, he's going to be a creep. He didn't change and he's not going. What changed was your view.

dragau4 · Answer

-the kissing another girl in front: make you jealous (some girl are attracted to people they can't get)

Other than that he's pretty much trying to get you as a challenge it seems like trying to get someone whos hard to get (and well an asshole if i do say so myself for doing that while having a girlfriend) maybe he doesn't even know how to flirt and how it works.

Dzokson00 · Answer

he is a bit too comfortable with you and honestly you should play games with him, if he starts creepy shit, i would recommend to cut it all.

He isn't creepy or flirty
he isvon the middle (both)
so i guess you could be fine with him as a friend if you manage to hint him you aren't interested

best way to do it is to say stuff like " i like guys who dont smoke ( if he smokes )"
etc
you get the point right?

craigurai · Answer

So his girlfriend is in another country and he flirts with other girls. Sounds like they should break up. Do you still like him? If not why are you so desperate to figure him out? Either date him or make it clear that you're just friends and keep it professional. Takes two to tango

Tech5 · Answer

It kind sounds like he wants your attention, but is kinda terrible at getting it. I'd still ignore him, cause if being creepy is the only thing he can do, he's not worth more attention, especially if he still has a girlfriend.

lord_chilled · Answer

wouldn't say creep, maybe borderline creep.
he is just a player and seems to have a type.

Good thing you didn't fall for him completely.
He enjoys the attention and surplus women tough, a bit of a narcissist.
Also not loyal to his girlfriend.
Definitely not a good guy. Dont give him the pleasure of too much attention.

Naxwi · Answer

From what you tell I don't see him as a sincere person. Of course it takes courage to tell someone you like'm but it isn't an excuse to act like.. well.. this. He acts like a bit of an asshole instead of flirty. So I'd say creep.

The-Weeknd-0 · Answer

He likes you. That comment about your attic made me cringe though. Meh, sounds like wants something he can't have. If his suggestive comments bother you: just tell him. Be honest.

01011001_01101111 · Answer

He might have been trying to be funny, but he didn't know how, guys joke like that a lot, but it just sounds like he tried to get you to like him

YourNeighborhoodOreo · Answer

Sounds like a huge tool that's very insecure. If he has a girlfriend he definitely shouldn't be acting that way towards you (not considering he has a girlfriend). Just keep ignoring the behavior and he'll stop.

A mega flirt or a creep?

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