Do you think women are meaner than men?

Question

As a woman, i feel that we are meaner, has more envy, and more insincere. (I dunno if our hormones play such a huge part for this?) Or maybe because i've seen more women like this.

Sometimes i feel disgusted by how women think and judge about some things or someone. I even feel shocked when i realize i also do the same thing with to other people, that i am also mean, insincere and judgmental. I think men are much more kind hearted generally though they look and sound cold. I dunno if this is a stupid thought/ questiom. Haha.

What do u think?

dantetheexplorer · Accepted Answer

I don't think men are any more kind-hearted than women. There's nothing about having XY chromosomes that make you kinder.

I will say that women may often APPEAR to be meaner because women are socialized from young to be indirect. Young boys will just go the direct route - tell another boy they hate their guts then proceed to pummel each other straight out. Young girls use social ostracization to get back at someone - by calling the "troops" to stop befriending another girl. And young girls are more likely to smile and say niceties and be all polite and beaming grins but then bad mouth another girl behind their back. (insincere).

I'm speaking in generalities here,, but with men, you often know where you stand. I usually know whether another man hates me, dislikes me, is neutral toward me, considers me a friend, considers me an ally. With women, I am less sure. Because of socialization, most women are usually polite, all smiles, and appear to be friendly - but it's harder to know what they think about you. Women also tend to speak less directly than men - speaking with "hints", questions that are meant to "probe" something about you, and stating what they're feeling in a more roundabout way. This may be why women APPEAR to be meaner. I personally feel that with men, it's What you see is What you get, but with women, in general, it's a little more subtle.

skytatoe · Accepted Answer

Ok so here's the thing, I don't think women are more prone to meanness then men. I think that's a trait we all share in common. But I think women can be meaner for this reason:

Women tend to have more developed empathy, that includes knowing what's important to people, how people feel and what people are insecure about. So when they wanna be mean, they can just hit hard and exactly where it hurts. I feel like when men try to be mean with words they don't really hit where it hurts cause they don't really know where to aim.

natasha3012 · Accepted Answer

Yes yes yes !! For me at least women are meaner than men. Not in a relationship kind because I am a straight woman... but in the friends kinda way. They bitch about you, create rumours, won't talk to you for some days. Sometimes I don't even know why😅 so yeah I find women meaner than men

emmily2396 · Accepted Answer

No, but women tend to be mean in different ways. Men are more straight forward, women tend to be more behind your back. Also, women tend to attack in groups... like, they would also have their friends attack you.

Anonymous · Answer

The largest emotional scars I have are all from women. I’ve been physically struck by more women than men. I’ve had more things destroyed by more women than men. I’ve had more things taken from me by more women than men. I’ve been lied to by more women then men. I’ve been tricked by more women than men. And it’s always glossed over. Girl takes my stuff and never returns it or worse destroys it because we broke up and I’m expected to just get over it. Guy does it I can deck him. Girl punches, slaps, kicks, or does anything else she can think of to harm me literally anywhere on my body and I’m expected to take it. Guy does it and I can deck him. Girl insults me usually targeting things I’ve chosen to be vulnerable with her about and I can’t even call her a cunt without someone telling me I’m in the wrong. Guy does it and I can deck him. I’m not whining about the world being unfair. I mean I can literally throw most girls I know I’d never want men to feel free to hurt women but I do wish women were a little more cautious and considerate about the amount of damage they feel comfortable throwing at men or at least felt a little more remorse about it. Ask any man who’s been deemed an unfit father and has had his kids that he loves grow up hating him how cruel women can be when they want to. At least most punches heal quickly.

ChurchOfIron · Answer

Women attack you emotionally; men attack you physically. So yeah, women might be "meaner" than men, but when men choose to be mean, it's a lot more brutal. That said, women also use social influence as a weapon.

They can play victim and garner sympathy and easily trigger men's protectiveness of them and point those men at a target they want physically damaged. The man commits the violence, but the woman was the one who triggered it. That *can* happen. Women have a lot of power with social influence, even if people don't think they do. The power of a whisper can be quite influencing. Men are a lot more direct; women are a lot more subtle.

For female insincerity, I think this stems from two things:

1: Self-preservation. More afraid, less willing to take risks. Hence, word play and subtle insults.

2: Social skills. Women are naturally more skilled at social interaction, and to be good at being social, there's a certain degree of "social mask" that one needs. It kinda necessitates lying and being insincere, I think. You have to force that, often. If you're not in a good mood, you want to try to pretend to be in a good mood, to make other people more at ease. That skill can also be used as a weapon.

I sometimes feel disgusted when I want to bash someone's brains in for treating me poorly. Or have a seemingly instinctual draw towards war, or being a warrior, fighting and killing. We're human. We got issues. But, we also have the capacity to do as you are doing--examine our behavior, our motivations, our predispositions--and endeavor to rise above them.

That's the great thing about us humans. We can grow past the animal within.

ForteExe · Answer

When guys fight there's a mutual understanding that if diplomacy fails then punches will fly. We generally don't hesitate to hurt each other's feelings or pull punches either so if there's a problem it gets solved up front out in the open. I think women depend more on healthy relationships than men do, so violence or direct confrontations are less of a viable tactic as they risk endangering relationships. Women are generally also physically weaker than men so threats of violence are a less persuasive during negotiations. When men get into verbal arguments there's an implicit mutual threat that "if I punch first then I'm asking to get my ass kicked", so there's a mutual incentive to work things out without violence. Women tend to attack with social status instead of physical altercations (using defamation tactics, bullying, verbal abuse, etc). I don't know if that makes women more "mean" than men. I think it's more accurate to say that their aggression manifests itself socially, as opposed to physically. Personally I'd rather get into a fist fight then deal with the social bullshit women get into.

AkaiRaikiri · Answer

It s such a cotroversial question and volatile, jesus... But generally speaking you may be right. The meanness might be distributed 40%M - 60%W
It might be because men can be superficial and very forgiving. ( im talking about how easy can men bond between themselves compared to women, which sucks for them)
As far as i know, women are really envious of each other, but they try to bond with others despite that envy, that leading to very shallow friendships even though they re really trying to bond.

I think that girls have this thing where they only care for a certain, limited amount of people ( I dont think it exceed 3-4 people: boyfriend, bff, mother, *insert acquaintance here*) to which they re like heaven on earth and to the others... well...
Ultimately, boys tend to care for many people (at least their extended family and their whole squad of friends) given the fact that men also have a tendency of being protective. Also, usually men are mean to impress other people, but its often just a façade/its just for show and someone can see pretty easily through this charade.

SngBirdy · Answer

Both men and women can be mean, but they are mean in different ways and do different degrees to different people.
Example, women are definetely more mean to their own friends, than guys are to their friends.
Women also tend to be mean in a defensive way. Meaning they respond with rude comments or behind-the-back talking when they are being critized or blamed for something.
I think men are capable of having a higher "degree of meaningness" than girls. Guys can potentially really fucking crush your ego if they want to. It doesn't happen often, but when it happens, is guys who do it.
I also think guys are less mean to the opposite gender, than girls are to the opposite gender. Like guys refrain from mocking a girl, while a girl has less of an hesitation to do that the other way round.

Benedek38 · Answer

I think it's less about women being meaner, andand more about them being allowed to do mean things.

When a woman is mean, she will insult you, demean you, make you feel like shit. When a man is mean, he knocks your teeth out.

One of those things is legal. The other is not.
Mean men are punished by law, mean women are not. So no wonder some women are more inclined to be mean when not only are they enabled by society and law - they are encouraged to be tactless, brash and abrasive under the banner of "girlpower" and feminism.

BrianMerritt · Answer

From the science I have read--don't quote me on this--men are more physically aggressive and enjoy brawling, but afterwards are capable of having a drink with the person they just beat the shit out of. Once we blow off steam we are good.
Women tend to have more... neuroticism is the word I think... the tendency to resort to negative emotions. The constant internalization of negative emotions and competition can make females express the stereotypical "mean girls" traits of being passive-aggressive, cut-throat, stuff like that.

NatashaJ · Answer

I think women who are really nasty are usually doing that to other girls who they jealous of. I notice this with my sister she always have something nasty to say about a female but when it's a male (unless it's my dad she a piece of shit) she barely says shit. It really gets annoying because she make up shit like saying one of her old friends (who was my friend after) was on welfare that's how she has a house and I even one point said why you do even care? it been how many years and you still talking about her and she never had a good reason why she can't let it go but everyone should let it go what she says and does. I realize she a jealous bitch with nothing to do. In case anyone wondering why I am calling my own sister that it's because she loves to trash talk to my face I had enough of her bullshit and even made up shit to my face when I know it's 100% lie because it's my life I know what goes on in my life and what is true or fake.

Chaz269 · Answer

Yes, but I'm sure my experience is entirely subjective. When men say mean things to each other, it's usually in jest. If it's not, we can settle it with a tussle. When women say mean things to men, even if joking, they're almost never receptive to similar return jabs. As in, they can dish it out, but they can't take it. When they're not joking, they always say the rudest and cruelest possible things because they know most men won't put their hands on them.
Show me anyone whose ruthlessness doesn't grow exponentially when they're above recourse.

AynonOMouse · Answer

Women are much meaner and more hurtful to people emotionally.

Men usually say stuff right to their friend's face. Like if they do something dumb, the other men will tell them, "Dude, you're so fucking stupid." And laugh right there.
Women would instead seem supportive of their friend, then soon as they leave start saying a bunch of negative things behind their back. They also keep spreading it to others too. Or they make up lies to get back at someone for something totally unrelated to the lies they spread.

lifelearner011 · Answer

I think we are all humans and we all can judge, what matters is to not let that influence in how you choose to treat others, and trying to "discriminate" against those mindset patterns that are not healthy.
We can give ourselves the "space" to think bad, but we can also choose to "let it go", flow, and just not act basing in those ideas.
I understand where you are saying sometimes we, women can be a bit more violent, since our "mental-psyche" skills are a bit more "open" but there are always ways of not letting those variables affect you.

Anonymous · Answer

Women are definitely meaner than men. I mean, just look at the women on GaG!

On information-based questions and MyTakes (typically in the Society and Culture tab) , the men will attack the argument that they diageee with and keep things civil, usually. The women, however, will attack both the person AND the argument, claiming that they’re “using facts and logic” when they’re really being emotional as Hell. 😂 These same women will claim that they’re intellectually superior to other women because they’re “logical”, failing to realize that ad hominem attacks are saved for those with lower intelligence.

Aenetoo · Answer

I think they can be. But I've also known women who are really nice and forgiving. Like if I girl I know at work. She's married, and I kinda hit on her. She let me know it was inappropriate. Later, I apologized. She said she'd already forgotten about it. But then there's another girl I know. Whole different story. To make it short, shed got into trouble. I told her it was no big deal to me, and hoped we could still be friends. She responded by blocking me on her phone, and probably helping to get me fired. What? True story.

passinby · Answer

Women are innately meaner as they evolved that way to be compensatory. Their meanness was leveled prior by the need to survive and accepting a role. Now that they are completely free and autonomous their meanness has no governor and knows no bounds because it never had to have bounds. This untethered female meanness unchecked is self destructive and to those around her. This is the genesis of all the current crazy insanity in our culture.

Cookie8888 · Answer

I think women are generally meaner than men, but more importantly are they better at being mean than men.

This is visible in domestic abuse: lesbian couples have more abuse than straight ones and gay couples have less, in general.

Also in bullying. I have been bullied twice, once by guys and once by girls, and being bullied by girls is way worse.

dalibara · Answer

Women are nicer because I never saw a father (man) loving his children the way a mother (a woman) is doing it. Women are not mean, it’s just the product of all the unfairness they had to suffer during the centuries, because of misogyny! But they have more feelings, smoothness and compassion. Men can be as nice as well, because we are all humans. But we can’t deny that the pure love that some Children need are mostly (not only) but mostly given by a woman!

winterfox10 · Answer

I don't know that it's a question of meanness... Women are definitely more cut throat and savage though. women won't think twice about destroying your life if you do something that jeopardizes them in some way... But they won't give you any warning shots, so if you screw up you won't have a chance to correct the misunderstanding.

BeMuse · Answer

I think women get slighted more easily and tend to blow things out of proportion. Thus their likely to be vengeful over nonsense. Men in general are criticized for being insensitive so we do things that women may think are mean that in reality have no ill intent.

JackJPershing · Answer

I think women can tend to be more vindictive than men. Men, when wronged, tend to flip the bird and walk away. Women have more of a tendency to seek and destroy.

There are of course numerous exceptions, but as for prevalence... just look at the court system.

Wolframium · Answer

As a (unattractive) guy with…let's say different personality, who is (unfortunately) attracted to girls, I would say yes.
Now, I haven't put the info about me there for no reason. Because it matters who you are. And how that girl, you're dealing with, likes you.
Sometimes I wish girls to be just…ignored. Absolute, cold ingore, everywhere, all time. From guys they like. Because I feel that's what the're doing.
But guys ignoring girls… Yeah, I know. The other way is very real thouhg.

Astoriana · Answer

Depends on how you define meanness, really.

Do we define it as lacking empathy for others? That is generally found to be men, at least in the studies that I have read.

Do we define it as “cattiness” or “jealousy”? In my experience, that’s only a thing in teenaged girls and occasionally college-aged women. In my experience, for whatever that’s worth, both women and men are pretty good at supporting their own.

Dsg11694 · Answer

That’s a toughie and what I’m about to say may come across as a generalization. I find men are more blunt and can be harsh in what they say (can be assholes). Women are expected to be more kind but when in a scenario with animosity, women can be catty (cunts). So, both sides have their negative and positive traits, just in a different approach. To answer which gender is more “mean”, I’d say women.

TheFlak38 · Answer

The fact alone that you admit all these things already makes you superior compared to other women.

MORPHEUS_12 · Answer

Absolutely we are. We are more advanced in linguistics than men are. We know exactly what lethal combination of words to use to morality wound our opponents. It's something that I have to be more cognizant of I get in a heated conversation.

rjroy3 · Answer

I think girls feel like they have more license to be mean, without repercussions, because they often don't see any downside. Enough people kiss their ass regardless. a lot ot girls go out of there way to avoid even appearing mean tho lol. So I guess that's balance.

caodog · Answer

From my experience there are women much more polite than men as well as others much more rude than men. It really depends on who you meet I guess. Some of the meanest people i've met have been both men and women.

hindril · Answer

I believe so. I have seen both men and women being mean, but women have a way to strike right where they need to. They can mess with the mind and also do physical harm when they want. Some will talk for a while and then all of a sudden they drop you. Some guys will be mean and do about the same, but things I have seen and heard makes women meaner.

Aalena · Answer

Yeah i think women ate meaner. We work more phsycologically and behind the scenes as well as face to face, but men just tend to have a more direct attack that isn't long lasting

9teen · Answer

Men look colder but they're way kinder than women. Women look kinder but they're bitches.

Rangers · Answer

100%, although I do constantly get labeled as a "bad guy" my reply to it is that in the context you guys say, I'm a bad guy because I speak the truth 100% of the time and don't care if that's what you want to hear or not. In that case, isn't it better to be the "bad guy"? I think it is. I had to explain that because I knew people would type away immediately, now I don't have to sit through their comments and repeat it.

fashionguy17 · Answer

In my experience, yes.

-Women are usually catty with other women.

-Women are also unkind and not that nice to men they are not attracted to... especially if a guy is politely shooting his shot, women are generally mean to the guy if they are not attracted to to him.

A-man-22 · Answer

I agree in general women are more temperamental and moody but guys can be too.

It all comes from the fact most women use emotions to decide what to do and guys use facts most of the time.

Since only you feel your emotions it comes off as selfish. Facts are facts and people just have to accept them.

Anonymous · Answer

I was ready to completely disagree, but I can see why you might think that from a female point of view. Women can very mean to one another, and then carry a grudge that will never go away. Guys can exchange obscenities and call names, maybe even get into a physical fight, and the next day be on speaking terms enough to get work done cooperatively and maybe even resume a friendship.

As for how women and men treat one another, I think there is plenty of meanness and cruelty to go around.

Anonymous · Answer

I think sometimes they can be meaner. I recently had a long time friend who I've known since I was 20, unfriend me on social media and get mad at me, because I have a lawn at my house. Where she lives they are on water restriction and they let their lawns die. It's not like that here. It's like, does she really need to be mean about it?

Shogun48 · Answer

I agree, I think women can be meaner. I think is one of those things where when they are nice, they are very nice and when they are mean, they can be evil. There is no in between. Whereas guys can change they can be a nice guy and turn into a mean one quickly. But I don't think mean guys can be nice though but some mean guys do have a different side to them. 😄. It's almost the same as girls but it's just that its emphasised more. A nice girl is very nice, a mean girl is evil

Jackblue · Answer

Not in my experience, but I of course do not know if women are cruel to each other when they are not in a mixed gender social circle. When women have disagreements of course, it is unlikely that they will turn to knives or guns as many men unfortunately do. Killing and raping is pretty mean of course.

LeoElias · Answer

Yea. But some guys are too sensitive. I've seen my friends so easily get hurt from a girl they had a feeling didn't like them but went with it anyway and she did turn him down. Chicks are fucking picky you shouldn't be surprised and in fact expect the rejection. Women can definitely be rude. They think letting a guy down nicely makes us feel better but it's the opposite. It's like cutting our balls off and adding, "You are a nice guy too" Be blunt from the start so we can move on to the next one

PrivateJim · Answer

Yeah cause they know where to hit you where it hurts most

bulletbob555 · Answer

Yes they can be and so can men. If a woman gets mad and starts walking a man will 99% of the time let her get back in car. Usually a woman would leave and make the woman walk. Its really hard to say. Some people of either sex are in a class by themselves

Haterbye123 · Answer

Absolutely, women can get away with much more than men and use this to their advantage. Not only that, women are more emotional so they will act out depending on how they feel whereas men are more logical and will usually think things though

CandacePerry · Answer

Yep woman with mean to me. One woman threatened me just because I was in a relationship in past. the another woman went after my past ex-bf.

hannahc0913 · Answer

I have found women to generally be more meaner in a manipulative way, eg rumours, jealousy, etc. In saying that I’m not saying that all men are angels either. Both can be mean to an extent.

thisbutterfly81 · Answer

We are assholes... I should know... I can be one! It’s not often but when it happens... it’s calculated and shitty. Generally tho it’s in retort to something equally as assholeish. I’m not just mean out of the blue.

halfbowsey · Answer

Yea I think so but simply see it as difference rather than evil. I often see women compliment other women insincerely. Hardly see that among my male friends. (no counting saying nice things to get something from someone)

Anonymous · Answer

I do think women are meaner than men in general, especially toward other women. But they are also more subtle and conniving about it. Men are more straight forward in general, so their intentions are more obvious and easier to blame. Men are simply more straight forward and honest than women.

SjE78 · Answer

they can be... but doesn't mean all women are... as all men aren't pricks...  but many women can be quite vindictive or judging even quite quick to be petty or scheming

Anonymous · Answer

Women are more violent than men.

TonyMetal86 · Answer

Your right... girls only knows how to complain, nag, hurt and leave... than they ask why men only want sex or can never love like a girl

Anonymous · Answer

No, I think this notion is the product of both misogyny and androgyny that women are evil, manipulative catty and guys are simplistic, shallowly driven creatures.

Some people are awesome and some people suck. Genitals don’t equate personality.

Ellie-V · Answer

I kinda disagree with you. I don’t think women are any more vicious than men. I just think we show it more.

Xyline · Answer

Women fight emotionally more often than men. So they attack character and reputation rather than just getting in a fist fight. Mainly because women are weaker physically, they fight differently and slander is a deeper wound than a punch to the face.

xEmmorixX · Answer

I can't really be mean to anyone. Anyone of either gender could walk all over me if they wanted. I'm shy and quiet in real life I always hold back. I'm a sensitive crybaby. I'm to much if a wimp. I'm so weak even the wind pushes me around.

lumos · Answer

In my personal experience, men and women have been equally mean to me and others.

EmmaMary · Answer

At certain times I regret and it hurts me to admit that I do believe we are.

Gottabsavagee · Answer

It’s hard to divide guys and girls like that. It’s the same. Guys can be just as evil just as females but there are also ultra nice girls and guys. It depends on individual in my opinion.

chc0009 · Answer

Hell yeah, they are. They hold grudges, destroy men's property, and they are so damn arrogant these days. This is why I laugh at romantic films, they do not portray the reality.

Malik00 · Answer

I don't think it's just being mean I think it's more... women aren't afraid to be underhanded or even flat out cowardly to get what they want... and that terrifies me.

Cause it honest to god feels like a woman will stop at nothing to get her way

taylorw · Answer

a lot of women lack empathy and just general kindess unfortunately

NoVo1245 · Answer

i personally think there are bitches on both sides... sometimes you are lucky sometimes not...

DinaM · Answer

No... I think the meanness is fairly evenly distributed between the genders.

Do you think women are meaner than men?

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