I hate his bestfriends wife, Am I over reacting?

[Anonymous]

Okay cituation here, My man has a best friend, and I can't stand his wife. I mean I have had altercations with her (words only) And she has gone and told my husband how she hates me and what a "bitch" I am. But my husband chooses to still go over and hang out with them and I get left home. there has been party's, gatherings, dinners and events that I have been told basically "she will be there and around us so deal with it or don't come". I love my husband but I feel I am being betrayed and ditched for these people. We fight a lot over it every time he comes with "I am going over to hang" or " They are having a party and I'm going or can I go?" WHAT DO I DO? am I over reacting? or am I a dumb a** wife? Please give me some insight on this someone!

[AJtogo]

I will relate to you my situation (same as yours) and what me and my best bud did.

First of all, it was an ugly situation for us because we were best friends since childhood and our wives didn't like each other. Why? God only knows. We compared notes several times about what one wife would say about the other and it simply came down to the fact that they didn't like each other. The first decision was that the wives were told not be badmouth the other in front of us. We don't want to hear it.

We still hung out as buds and we would alternate going to each others place. Wives simply were not allowed on these outings. If we were going out to a mutual party, the wives were told that the other would be there and to leave the other alone. It was like keeping bickering children apart and our circle of friends knew it. It was an embarrassing joke between all the guys and we would take it with good humour but it wasn't appreciated.

Me and my bud and either of the wives together could have a fun time but not all four. Being such good friends for many years, it was not what we wanted in our married lives and I believe we missed out on some really good times because of it. Both of us have had vacations with other couples and have had great times, but we could never do it together and that was disappointing.

If you want to continue the feud then that's your decision, but it would be unfair to be argumentative with your husband because he wants to hang with his friend. This is your problem and it is you and her that are causing the problem, not the guys.

Anyway, I ended up divorced many years later and the problem disappeared with the divorce. We are still friends and they still hate each other (but she's allowed to badmouth her now in front of me).

My advice; bury the hatchet with this woman. I know that's easier said than done because we were unable to accomplish it. But, I also believe that we missed out on a lot because of their childish feud.

[Asker]

Well I see your side of things and I'm sorry it wasn't resolved. the whole thing started when She acted up we got into a huge arguement. That was the end for me. Well her deal was that all our friends don't like her behavior when she drinks but she was invited cause our husbands where friends. Then when we had our little tiff all our friends no longer invited her out with us, This childish woman then went to my husbands work and made a scene and yelled at him.So I can't be her friend after that

[AJtogo]

I understand. It appears this woman is creating her own punishment and is being shunned by a group of people. Leave it at that; you don't need to contribute any more.

I can see where you not liking your husband's best friend could be sticky too. Is it because of her or something else? It must make for some tense moments in your relationship if your husband knows this. Two of the most important people in his life not liking each other must be dividing for him.

[YesThatsME]

Didn't he do anything? If I were him, I would have scolded the best friend's wife and tell her she is the real bitch.

[Asker]

I don't know how he reacted, he didn't even tell me the story I heard it from a coworker of his that is my friend. Yeah the whole thing happend at his place of work she is that getto.

[Shlei3]

Well honestly that's not fair. I could see him hanging out with his friend or guys night out. But to completely leave you behind to go to a party.well that's just wrong and very rude on his part. I think that you may need to be civil with this woman. It's hard to say what is what since I don't know what you two argue about and how you are. If you are completely unreasonable and rude than I would say you should stop being that way.

[Asker]

I know I feel that if I just let it go they would all be happy. I just can't get over the fact of her childish behavior of yelling at my husband. I would have never talked to hers that way even though I hate him too lol. But I'm glad to have gotten your insight on this thank you. I will see it a little different now.

[shadowsex001]

He needs to be a husband and stand up for his wife first and formost, then he needs to go talk to his boy and tell him to put a leash on his bitch.

[Asker]

Yeah I told him that, but the dude is his best friend so who knows how it was handled.