It's been over a week and my boyfriend is still ignoring me after a fight even on my birthday? Is this really just jealousy? (Page 2)
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Tbh this would be a massive dealbreaker for me and I would break up immediately. He’s not a child. If he can’t speak to you because of something so unimportant that doesn’t mean he’s jealous, it means he’s controlling. So break up, get out while you still can.
A little space is good. He's being immature. Actions speak louder than words. I'd interpret his actions as hurt and his defense is to ignore you. Something like this should only be given maybe a few hours worth of space for a check in. Shouldn't be multiple days. This is him saying his feelings are more important than yours and you don't want that.
So it means that I can wait forever for him to reach out? Like its either me or no one?
He's just making everything worse by ignoring me this long
You could wait forever because he is just ignoring his feelings. Not sure what you mean by you or no one.
Possibly possessive, jealousy, annoyance. Upset.
As a guy, I think he would be experiencing the above. Instead of calling him, why not walk track him down and talk to him face to face. That would be best.
Things that are this important are best addressed as soon as possible. I know from experience that if you only text or talk on the time phone, it only makes resentment grow.
I do not know what the fight was about and I’m not saying to forgive him, just apologize for letting the fight ITSELF get out of control.
I wish you luck and HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I think this is my only option. I have to go there and talk to him in person because from his side there's nothing happening.
Does it take a long time for a guy to calm down when he is experiencing the above?
Thank you :)
It depends on how the situation is handled. Yelling and blaming each other for things getting out of hand will only aggravate things.
Just be casual, be happy to see him, and calmly explain thing from your point of view. If he has calmed down a little, he should understand.
ONE THING YOU MUST REMEMBER IS TO LET HIM TALK AND EXPRESS HIS FEELINGS AS WELL!!! This is a general note. Men hate being cut off and people telling them they are wrong. Listen, give your opinion on occasions, and over all have a reciprocal conversation.
Good luck!
I just want to talk to him and finally end this stupid fight. I told him I'm sorry and that I feel really bad and guilty and its just been getting worse.
All I want is some answers and to understand what is going on and why he's like this you know?
I hate to say it but you are best just to move on from him , cuz even if he forgives you and calls ya back , what would be the point , he will constantly be insecure and you will end up back at it again the second another guy talks to you , do yourself a favor and move on , you are wasting your time being with someone that insecure
If she misses him she can change. If not, he has already called it quits on those terms of hers.
He called it quits cuz he is insecure , stopped talking to her cuz she braided another guys hair is kind of silly when she told him she did it , if she was trying to hide something she wouldn’t of told him period , no one should be in a relationship like that , that’s insane insecurity , if you can’t trust in a relationship then you have no right being in one , people tend to get in relationships with the wrong outlook on things and that’s why so many relationships don’t last , people tend to think the second they commit into a relationship that they own the person , , it’s ok to get a little jealous from time to time to show you care about your partner but to be that jealous and insecure over her being upfront about braiding another guys hair is kind of silly , she will be smart to move on from that type of person considering he has trust issues , how can you be happy with someone if they don’t trust you? Controlling and forcing someone to be what you want them to be isn’t love that is a mental sickness , we as people can only guide someone to love us but we can’t force them
It could very well be Jealousy. I had a bad case of this when I was hurt by a cheater a while. It took some serious willpower and a lot of support from friends to wake up from it.
You should let him know that this jealousy is severely damaging your relationship. He needs help to get through this, preferably professional help.
This isn't something anyone should have to live with. He is probably afraid you will find someone else more interesting than him. Come to think of it, this could be a subconscious test to see if you would still pick him if he is the worst he can be. Or trying the "I ignore you so you will find me mysterious and attractive". Either way, he most likely isn't aware of what he's doing or what consequences it could have.
Wake him up and make him aware. Good luck!
Uuh. His reaction seems extreme. Braiding a guy friends hair isn't even remotely suggestive. Has he shown any other similar alarming behaviors? Because I think he may need to get some help with them... Jealous feelings and behaviors like this won't fade by themselves
It seems that he is like hyper paranoid. WTF is big deal in what you did?
As you have given the space he demanded, i say talk to him.
If you love him, then yes, fight for him but also make it clear that he should work on this weird paranoia, i mean at least choose something significant to get jealous about.🤦🤷
I tried to talk to him yesterday and if he doesn't say anything then I will call him soon or go over to his place. Like this is just ridiculous to me but it hurts so much at the same time
I feel like he doesn't care about me or doesn't even miss me
Ok, consider this, the problem you are facing right now is just a hiccup in your relationship (assuming you love him and want him back), Now one of you got to make it better, so be a bigger person try your hardest to get him back.
I hope it doesn't come to this, but if he continues to hold on to this (very small) thing and behave like this, then at least make sure he understands how petty he is being, in harsh words.
I will try my hardest t get him back since its all my fault but he's making it really hard for me.
If he continues with this behaviour then I don't know
That's good start
But you really believe you are at fault here?
Because it seems, even if he was a little jealous, this could have been solved with a simple sorry, and without all this extra drama and overthinking
Alas, it's not my place to get into your relationship, so sorry if I offended you.
No you're right. It could have been solved the same day he texted me about this but he decided to shut me out. That's the only reason this is still going on...
That's not just jealousy, and certainly not a mature way for him to behave. He had no reason to be angry in the first place, and even if this fight had been about something serious he is being a huge baby by refusing to even talk to you. If I were in your place, I'd be pissed at him
How do you guys not get that if you get pissed at someone you are already missing you only make it worse for yourself?
@soleil2666 If someone is behaving like the guy she's talking about, I could only miss him so long before I realise that I'm pinning for a guy who got pissed at me because of his own insecutity issues, and then refused to even talk about it. At that point I think I'd be pretty disenchanted with the situation and realise that he was in the wrong
I don't know, that's individual. What your mind thinks and what your feelings/amygdala say may be two different things.
@soleil2666 Oh yeah definitely, it's impossible to know for sure how I would react in a situation I've never been in. I would hope that I'd still be in tune enough to realise when someone is being manipulative though
@Inexpensivefurniture You mean you've never missed/cared about an insecure idiot? Most of the music that exists is about that.
@soleil2666 No, never. I've only been in two relationships, only one was serious, and neither of those people would ever have acted like this. As for friends and family, sure some of them have insecurity issues, but they have never tried to shut me out, or made their insecurity my problem by making me constantly reassure them.
@Inexpensivefurniture Lucky you. I have, and she was hotter/prettier than Sophia Loren and Marilyn Monroe combined - but insecure as hell, and never had a brain to work any of her issues out herself. The level of torment you end up in when you betray, in-the-slightest, someone like that, is HUGE. And not worth it by any stretch of imagination. Some people are far too special to lose (lest you are yourself an idiot/moron)
@soleil2666 I just refuse to be in a relationship where I constantly have to cater to another person's insecurities. Hell, I'm insecure about a few things, but I also know it's MY job to deal with my problems, and I have no interest in being with someome who doesn't do the same. I'm no beacon of well-adjusted mental health, but I'm working on it and I've been with someone who was in a really bad place and wasn't getting help for it and it was exhausting. I don't want to do that again. Of course I hope we can talk about these issues, I'm not saying we should keep insecurities 100% to ourselves, because that's not healthy either, and some level of reassurance is expected and often good. But there is a line that I won't cross, and wouldn't want or expect someone to cross for me either. If I started behaving like this guy the OP was talking about, I would hope someone set me straight and told me I was in the wrong and needed to grow up
This was a spoilt brat. And she could get away with that - for some reason, she meant a lot to me.
@soleil2666 That sounds rough
It really depends what setting you “braided a guys hair”. If it was in class in a open social environment than he has no right to get THAT upset. BUT if you went to this guys house to braid his hair I would consider that cheating to a certain extent if he is a straight man and IF you didn’t get paid to do it for him. All depends on the situation. Two different extremes
If he's giving you the silent treatment for more than a day, it probably means they're trying to actively hurt you. The silent treatment can be fine if it doesn't last for too long (if the person's done something significant). Too long and it becomes malicious
This case is bad
Feels like there's more you're not telling. Like "I invited a guy over my place and he stayed till after midnight... when I then braided his hair. Nothing happened tho". Or something like that.
I've seen unreasonable guys get jealous, but there's usually more bite to the reason even for jealous guys.
I find it really sad that he doesn't have the maturity to actually address it and talk it through with you.
Maintaining distance will only make things worse.
I think you should text him that you really love him and he is being cruel.
If he cares and wants to work things out with you then he needs to make an effort and talk about his feelings straight away with you.
Also if he stays like that a bit more then I guess you should bring up the breakup time.
I think it's crazy to get mad / upset over a girlfriend braiding another guys hair
wow talking about jealousy , yes this is way too much. These are issues he
needs to sort out , i learned since i got older , it's crazy to be jealous over
stuff that is meaningless. If he continues this way , he will end up losing you
i know you don't want things to end this way but he needs to learn that being
jealous over these petty things are just not right. Smh
Happy Belated Birthday Wishes :)
Not jealousy. You have offended deeply. Women are ignorant at times of men's feelings and to be honest, I think you really don't care.
If you don't get to the bottom of this quickly, your relationship is over. It might be over already and you just haven't figured that out yet.
Hallelujah - at least one person here figured out the way he is feeling rather than jumping to her best next steps or simply dishing out judgement/taking sides.
kits a control thing , some guess are just insecure and he just wants you to know all guys are off limits friend r no friend. . i know this because i had a friend ofr 7 years till she met a guy and she just cut me off and blocked me because the guy was insecure..
guys lie if they say thats not it my friend is proof of this and your gonna have too cut ff all guy friends if yu stay with him. or dump him for your friends ts all a choice for guys like that. him or them pretty much.
I think it is jealously, but I don't know how long you and your boyfriend have been going out. To be honest for myself I would be jealous if my girlfriend was talking to a guy because some of us guys automatically have bad thoughts, but when I understand that the guy is her classmate for a group project I would understand. Plus, I am that type of guy that would want an update of what my girlfriends is doing because I care about her and want to know that she is safe. But I do hear that it is okay to be jealous, but not end the conversation with the other person. You should have a talk with him in person and tell him how you fell about him and be honest, so he can see and know that. Because i am going through the same thing with my girlfriend, but not about jealousy more about bad communication. But I don't know about my relationship, but I did posted a question to see if I can get some feedback on it.
Men are generally insecure by nature. We should learn to deal with it as we get older, but many don't.
My guess is that he saw the braiding as an intimate (although not sexual) encounter with another guy.
I would recommend apologizing for hurting (not the act itself) and reiterating your devotion to him.
It sounds sensible if she wants him back. But would only work if she was clear on not getting into intimate space with other guys, which, according to the support she has garnered here, isn't the case.
I mean, I don't mind fondling another woman while with another, but I don't expect to be considered a keeper like that. She seems to think she is a keeper.
I had a female co-worker act like I didn't exist after she found out I liked her. I was fine with acting as if it never happened so I tried striking up conversations and she got real ugly and mean about it. Blocked me for like two years. I got another job in the company and suddenly without any reason at all she starts contacting me. Things are good and we seem to be ok as if nothing happened. I must have made an impression. That's a long time to be mad at somebody. Think of all that energy. Meanwhile, the other person getting by just fine lol wondering what you're doing with this whole avoiding blocking thing and contacting me back first deal.
I did something far more serious that pissed off my girlfriend and she ignored me for 30+ hours.
But, then she also apologized and said that even though she was angry that wasn't an excuse to hurt me back by ignoring me for so long.
Tell this guy he's being immature and petty, and if he doesn't do a full 180 then leave him. I mean, the guy ignored your birthday because you braided another dude's hair. That's crazy.
Sweetheart if this was out of the norm., I think I would be upset as well but here's my question for be you", if you didn't tell him who did" but it's not like you fucked the guy I'm a biker and when my hair was long the only person that touched it was my girl, but n your case maybe he's just looking for an excuse