Never initiates texting. Is he shy or uninterested?

Question

Shy guy i like never messages me first (even when i waited 3 weeks) and hardly ever asks questions over text. He does however reply to my questions with lots of detail and remembers things I've told him. We have met up 3 times (i asked him every time) and he said it was nice seeing me each time at the end. Is there a chance he likes me but is acting uninterested because he is shy or should i take the hint and give up?
I should also point out that he is very nerdy and hardly goes on his phone. He told me never excitedly once that he's managed to block all notifications on it.

SnowyOwl · Accepted Answer

Girl, unless you enjoy this "going crazy in your head" not knowing exactly whats up, and unless you'd like staying like that for months and even over a year in this situation... then as most people said, you gotta ask. Ok, i know it can be scary being straight forward. So choose your words. But the most important thing is to be honest. Just being honest and not fearing what he'll think will move things in the right direction.

Cuz if you are honest and he reciprocates or declines your feelings, than you can start moving onto better things or just moving on. Your time is precious! And communication is really important if you have the intention of a relationship. So just be honest to him, say what's in your head. It doesn't mean you'll be abrupt. Plus, if he's shy, you'll save his time as well cuz he might be struggling.

Be like: Hey *guyname*! Do you wanna video call? (cuz we're in quarantine xD) I think you're pretty cool and we should hangout (online cuz we're in quarantine xD). Then you can ask him about what he's doing for fun, tell him about what you do... If he doesn't answer or if he doesn't want to, then you can say : alright no worries, I still think your cool. I dont mean to bother you, so I'll just leave you alone (or something of the sort). Have a great day!

Well, it is kind of super stright forward. You dont have to say this if thats not in your mind. Just be honest, speak your thoughts. Everything will be ok. You're only 21. I'd advice you to not waste time on people who don't seem to value it. There are so many beautiful people out there.

Hopefully any of this helps

Luv2BRealExotic13 · Accepted Answer

I’d love to know. In my experience I just gave up I assumed he was nicely telling me he wasn’t interested. When I did text if he texted back I thought it was him doing it out of politeness. Then twice he left me on read but would initiate chatting with me in person. Which I found a little irritating (like so you’re going to talk to me as if you didn’t leave me on read twice? My guy! Seriously) I just found it to be a super weird way that he was possibly rejecting me easily and gave up on him.

cohenrique · Accepted Answer

It can be hard with a shy guy. If he likes you, he might doubt that you're actually into him even if you're giving him all the signs.

I can say for certain though that if that's the case, the only hope for the situation is to make it clear. And do what you're thinking of doing, "how do I tell him I like him?"

If he's special enough to you that you'd like to plan for a way to find out when you see him in September, I would say you've got the right idea.

I just know of so many examples where things don't work out when they could, usually because the shy party is clueless or too insecure to believe there's something there.

Just continue to be kind to him. Check on him every once in a while. Hope for signs he's gotten more comfortable around you. Try and be patient. I know it's hard, but if he's insecure and afraid, it will take time.

When you're ready, go for it and let him know how you feel.

Consider this case-study of how another situation ended. (https://www. girlsaskguys. com/guys-behavior/q4103523-guys-help-me-to-decipher-his-actions).

It might help put things in perspective. Basically, if there is any hope, it lies in your hands and courage. If he's worth it to you. By all means go for it. It could end up meaning all the difference for him in the end.

At the same time, if he doesn't initiate anything, ever, with you. Even if he seems comfortable around you, I would think he's not interested.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Needs sometimes, can be very shy. I was one of those as I did not knew how to deal with girl when she likes me, as nerds do not get to much interaction with women.

He might be to shy to text first or perfectionist, that is when worse, for that one all stars has to align in certain way for hem to make any move...

Just tell him in person that you like him and would like to take it further, that would get me out of my shell those days. Just do not ask his opinion about it as his shyness could make him say no.

About texting/calling tell him to write/call you for some silly reason like, when he sees next episode of something and you want his opinion on it, just push him towards it and he should eventually get a message when to text you. 'Fake it till you make it.'

Just do everything what traditionally should be done by man. It is 2020 women can do it too now.

Obviously you can move on and find someone, without any effort needed, but where is fun in it and you sound like you like him.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

As for texting some might think he’s shy & other might think otherwise. Did you ever think he might not like texting in general? I like hearing people’s voices & I like talking to people the old fashion way & face to face. This guy sounds like a talker not a texter, talk to him & let him hear your voice.

JoseyWales4 · Answer

Look sweetheart. I’m sorry this is happening to you. But in all seriousness I think he doesn’t see you that way. He views your relationship in a platonic way. But if you like him don’t give up. You need to go up to him, (you can’t do this over the phone especially via texting) and ask him out. That’s how you’re going to win this.

Because him him being really shy and unreliable on the phone he won’t make the first move.

Good Luck. 👍🏻🍀😉

JimmyQ · Answer

How can you not be reading the tea leaves right now? Most men's lives revolve around work. No dinero. no chicko.

So, you want to question a dude that thinks more of you than you think of yourself?

Not really what analysts might call stellar reasoning.

scott04sa22 · Answer

He could be a loner. Loners can be shy but sometimes shows no emotions our interests. He might of had other girl ask them out but rejections them because loners biggest fears is fear of rejections. That happens to me quite a lot and I given up looking for an romantic partner after 2 decades of looking. I don't drive that's the problem.

ikEVERYTHING · Answer

Yeah men are typically more straight foward, he could be uninterested in a relationship, maybe he hangs with you looking for a friendship.. which isn't bad, if you become close friends then probably over time if y'all compatible yall'll like each other. But since he's nerdy you say he could believe it or not be doing nerdy things like playing video games all day or something. Which is kind of immature, and seeing the age here being 18-24 I guess it's possible but I doubt it.

Anonymous · Answer

Men don't constantly text all the time. That's a female behavior. Its like notes in school-mostly girls pass them and they are filled with nothing in particular. Girls text endlessly the minutia of their day. Frankly, its dull and a waste of time. Most guys (who are not p-whipped) use text to deliver a message not to endlessly "chat". Judge him by how he acts around you, not by "texts".

Riot_king · Answer

Currently. I'm in the guys position. The reason I don't text is because I don't want her to see me as the type of guy who is needy. There are also times when I text her first, but when she replies with "hmm" or "okay" I fear I might loose her because to me those replies seem to be typed in irritation. So I keep my distance.

StarWax2 · Answer

I would talk to him about it, only way to know. I've dated a shy non phone user before but when we started dating he became addicted to his phone because of me so can be a lack of interest?
Or maybe his phone bill is high? Unlikely but still

Node95 · Answer

I am sure he enjoyed the meeting with you but it seems to me that he basically dislikes using his phone for social interactions.
Try finding alternative communication tools he might enjoy using if he gives it no effort,
I doubt there is much he sees in you :/
If you like spending time with someone you find a way to get in contact.
So to answer your question without knowing him well I would say uninterested!

ThePrimeDirective · Answer

If he has made no move in three meetups (i. e. no kiss) then he's either not interested or does not know that you are interested and so is too shy to do anything.

Steve_Oink · Answer

Well , it could be that he is socially awkward and he doesn't know how to initiate a conversation but , there's also equal chances oh him not being intrested. No one can tell except for you because you know how he is with you , and sometimes we deleibretly ignore the facts , which are right in front of us , if you know what I mean. So don't give up hope but also don't cling on to fake hope

topur · Answer

Seems he doesn't know what his loosing by not taking more initiative. Text him if you're bored, but otherwise I would say move on..

Stonernights · Answer

I'd say unintested. I'm shy so texting is my way of communicating best. If Idc about a guy who is texting me all the time I dont even think of them to text them first, I just dont care

Anonymous · Answer

If he's anything like the shy guy I'm crushing on right now, he doesn't text you because he's afraid he will bother you by being too needy. Don't overthink it... some are just like this but will put that aside if you are sick, haven't talked for a while etc.

Midnight_Kiss · Answer

Maybe he's not the texting type, it is very impersonal form of communication, calling is preferred but more people than you'd think.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

"He told me never excitedly once that he's managed to block all notifications on it.". Please edit this sentence.

MrNameless · Answer

have you guys talked on the phone yet? You should. Maybe playfully bring it up

arabgoddess · Answer

He sounds like the sort of guy that doesn't like instant messaging.. I know quite a few like that

HoratioCaine · Answer

texting isn't his go to activity. he could just be a polite guy, would be easoer to admit you like him and gauge his reaction

Neverendinghtml3498 · Answer

Ask him directly why he’s not engaging more. It’s tiring to always be the active one.

Never initiates texting. Is he shy or uninterested?

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