Never initiates texting. Is he shy or uninterested?

[Anonymous]

Shy guy i like never messages me first (even when i waited 3 weeks) and hardly ever asks questions over text. He does however reply to my questions with lots of detail and remembers things I've told him. We have met up 3 times (i asked him every time) and he said it was nice seeing me each time at the end. Is there a chance he likes me but is acting uninterested because he is shy or should i take the hint and give up?
I should also point out that he is very nerdy and hardly goes on his phone. He told me never excitedly once that he's managed to block all notifications on it.

Updates

+1 y

Quite a lot of people are saying i should ask him. The rest think i should give up but dont want to give up without knowing as i never like anyone. Im 21 and he's only the second crush I've ever had so dont want to risk throwing it away in case he does like me back. If he doesn't like me i would still like to be friends though.
How do i tell him i like him? I won't see him til September now and im too shy to call him so my only contact with him is over text which isn't ideal

[SnowyOwl]

Girl, unless you enjoy this "going crazy in your head" not knowing exactly whats up, and unless you'd like staying like that for months and even over a year in this situation... then as most people said, you gotta ask. Ok, i know it can be scary being straight forward. So choose your words. But the most important thing is to be honest. Just being honest and not fearing what he'll think will move things in the right direction.

Cuz if you are honest and he reciprocates or declines your feelings, than you can start moving onto better things or just moving on. Your time is precious! And communication is really important if you have the intention of a relationship. So just be honest to him, say what's in your head. It doesn't mean you'll be abrupt. Plus, if he's shy, you'll save his time as well cuz he might be struggling.

Be like: Hey *guyname*! Do you wanna video call? (cuz we're in quarantine xD) I think you're pretty cool and we should hangout (online cuz we're in quarantine xD). Then you can ask him about what he's doing for fun, tell him about what you do... If he doesn't answer or if he doesn't want to, then you can say : alright no worries, I still think your cool. I dont mean to bother you, so I'll just leave you alone (or something of the sort). Have a great day!

Well, it is kind of super stright forward. You dont have to say this if thats not in your mind. Just be honest, speak your thoughts. Everything will be ok. You're only 21. I'd advice you to not waste time on people who don't seem to value it. There are so many beautiful people out there.

Hopefully any of this helps

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

I’d love to know. In my experience I just gave up I assumed he was nicely telling me he wasn’t interested. When I did text if he texted back I thought it was him doing it out of politeness. Then twice he left me on read but would initiate chatting with me in person. Which I found a little irritating (like so you’re going to talk to me as if you didn’t leave me on read twice? My guy! Seriously) I just found it to be a super weird way that he was possibly rejecting me easily and gave up on him.

[blackpearls77]

I think it's a good sign that he is talking to you in person. Who cares about text. I think it's better for a guy to talk to you in person vs talking to you over text and being shy/weird in person. He could be shy to text you over the phone even if he is texting everyone else. I just don't see a person taking their time to talk to you if they didn't have interest. I wouldn't look at that as him rejecting you.

[cohenrique]

It can be hard with a shy guy. If he likes you, he might doubt that you're actually into him even if you're giving him all the signs.

I can say for certain though that if that's the case, the only hope for the situation is to make it clear. And do what you're thinking of doing, "how do I tell him I like him?"

If he's special enough to you that you'd like to plan for a way to find out when you see him in September, I would say you've got the right idea.

I just know of so many examples where things don't work out when they could, usually because the shy party is clueless or too insecure to believe there's something there.

Just continue to be kind to him. Check on him every once in a while. Hope for signs he's gotten more comfortable around you. Try and be patient. I know it's hard, but if he's insecure and afraid, it will take time.

When you're ready, go for it and let him know how you feel.

Consider this case-study of how another situation ended. (https://www. girlsaskguys. com/guys-behavior/q4103523-guys-help-me-to-decipher-his-actions).

It might help put things in perspective. Basically, if there is any hope, it lies in your hands and courage. If he's worth it to you. By all means go for it. It could end up meaning all the difference for him in the end.

At the same time, if he doesn't initiate anything, ever, with you. Even if he seems comfortable around you, I would think he's not interested.

[Anonymous]

Needs sometimes, can be very shy. I was one of those as I did not knew how to deal with girl when she likes me, as nerds do not get to much interaction with women.

He might be to shy to text first or perfectionist, that is when worse, for that one all stars has to align in certain way for hem to make any move...

Just tell him in person that you like him and would like to take it further, that would get me out of my shell those days. Just do not ask his opinion about it as his shyness could make him say no.

About texting/calling tell him to write/call you for some silly reason like, when he sees next episode of something and you want his opinion on it, just push him towards it and he should eventually get a message when to text you. 'Fake it till you make it.'

Just do everything what traditionally should be done by man. It is 2020 women can do it too now.

Obviously you can move on and find someone, without any effort needed, but where is fun in it and you sound like you like him.

[Asker]

Im too shy to call him and im afraid hed be too shy to be confortable doing that aswell. Thats why we have just texted occasionally or met up in person (we couldnt make eye contact properly until the third time we met up) but i won't have a chance to see him in person until September now because of the coronavirus and he lives 200 miles away.

[Opinion Owner]

So it is LDR and you both shy, you like to overcomplicated stuff or 'god level' straight away...

Then text him and make some followup questions for him, so he would have to text as soon as he gets info.

I have similar problem now she moved 150miles away ( I wanted to move there later, to join her) and it is most contaminated area in all country, so it will be a while before I will see her next... Last time I seen her around New Year's...

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for texting some might think he’s shy & other might think otherwise. Did you ever think he might not like texting in general? I like hearing people’s voices & I like talking to people the old fashion way & face to face. This guy sounds like a talker not a texter, talk to him & let him hear your voice.

[JoseyWales4]

Look sweetheart. I’m sorry this is happening to you. But in all seriousness I think he doesn’t see you that way. He views your relationship in a platonic way. But if you like him don’t give up. You need to go up to him, (you can’t do this over the phone especially via texting) and ask him out. That’s how you’re going to win this.

Because him him being really shy and unreliable on the phone he won’t make the first move.

Good Luck. 👍🏻🍀😉

[JimmyQ]

How can you not be reading the tea leaves right now? Most men's lives revolve around work. No dinero. no chicko.

So, you want to question a dude that thinks more of you than you think of yourself?

Not really what analysts might call stellar reasoning.

[ikEVERYTHING]

Yeah men are typically more straight foward, he could be uninterested in a relationship, maybe he hangs with you looking for a friendship.. which isn't bad, if you become close friends then probably over time if y'all compatible yall'll like each other. But since he's nerdy you say he could believe it or not be doing nerdy things like playing video games all day or something. Which is kind of immature, and seeing the age here being 18-24 I guess it's possible but I doubt it.

[scott04sa22]

He could be a loner. Loners can be shy but sometimes shows no emotions our interests. He might of had other girl ask them out but rejections them because loners biggest fears is fear of rejections. That happens to me quite a lot and I given up looking for an romantic partner after 2 decades of looking. I don't drive that's the problem.

[Anonymous]

Men don't constantly text all the time. That's a female behavior. Its like notes in school-mostly girls pass them and they are filled with nothing in particular. Girls text endlessly the minutia of their day. Frankly, its dull and a waste of time. Most guys (who are not p-whipped) use text to deliver a message not to endlessly "chat". Judge him by how he acts around you, not by "texts".

[Riot_king]

Currently. I'm in the guys position. The reason I don't text is because I don't want her to see me as the type of guy who is needy. There are also times when I text her first, but when she replies with "hmm" or "okay" I fear I might loose her because to me those replies seem to be typed in irritation. So I keep my distance.

[StarWax2]

I would talk to him about it, only way to know. I've dated a shy non phone user before but when we started dating he became addicted to his phone because of me so can be a lack of interest?
Or maybe his phone bill is high? Unlikely but still

[Node95]

I am sure he enjoyed the meeting with you but it seems to me that he basically dislikes using his phone for social interactions.
Try finding alternative communication tools he might enjoy using if he gives it no effort,
I doubt there is much he sees in you :/
If you like spending time with someone you find a way to get in contact.
So to answer your question without knowing him well I would say uninterested!

[Asker]

Could there be a chance that he's just shy or is that unlikely?

[Node95]

From the shy guys I know yea unlikely but how did your real meeting went how shy was he there?

[Asker]

We were both very shy but it got a bit easier each time. He is more confident than me and asked questions and stuff. We laughed a lot and he remembered things i said.

[ThePrimeDirective]

If he has made no move in three meetups (i. e. no kiss) then he's either not interested or does not know that you are interested and so is too shy to do anything.

[Steve_Oink]

Well , it could be that he is socially awkward and he doesn't know how to initiate a conversation but , there's also equal chances oh him not being intrested. No one can tell except for you because you know how he is with you , and sometimes we deleibretly ignore the facts , which are right in front of us , if you know what I mean. So don't give up hope but also don't cling on to fake hope

[topur]

Seems he doesn't know what his loosing by not taking more initiative.
Text him if you're bored, but otherwise I would say move on..

[Stonernights]

I'd say unintested. I'm shy so texting is my way of communicating best. If Idc about a guy who is texting me all the time I dont even think of them to text them first, I just dont care

[HoratioCaine]

texting isn't his go to activity. he could just be a polite guy, would be easoer to admit you like him and gauge his reaction

[Anonymous]

If he's anything like the shy guy I'm crushing on right now, he doesn't text you because he's afraid he will bother you by being too needy. Don't overthink it... some are just like this but will put that aside if you are sick, haven't talked for a while etc.

[Midnight_Kiss]

Maybe he's not the texting type, it is very impersonal form of communication, calling is preferred but more people than you'd think.

[Jamie05rhs]

"He told me never excitedly once that he's managed to block all notifications on it.". Please edit this sentence.

[Asker]

I meant very

[Jamie05rhs]

He told you that? Hmm. Very interesting. I wonder why he would say something like that to you. What was the broader context? What were you guys talking about at the time?

[Asker]

I think he said it yo explain why he takes a while (a few hours) to reply. Because he has to actively check to see if he has messages otherwise he doesn't know

[Asker]

Also we are university students so were talking about studying and avoiding distractions

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. But why would he be happy about blocking notifications? Or did he mean non-message notifications?

[Asker]

Don't know, i think he's just really nerdy and wants to concentrate on studying without any distractions

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay; I can understand being nerdy. Sometimes nerds do want to keep to themselves more than others. But you need to find out if that's the reason or if it's something else.

[Rafaela123]

That notification part got my attention too...

[Jamie05rhs]

@Rafaela123 Yeah.

[MrNameless]

have you guys talked on the phone yet? You should. Maybe playfully bring it up

[arabgoddess]

He sounds like the sort of guy that doesn't like instant messaging.. I know quite a few like that

[Neverendinghtml3498]

Ask him directly why he’s not engaging more. It’s tiring to always be the active one.

[CTscam]

Seems uninterested to me. Even if he were shy, he would at least text you, the fact that he doesn't text you for 3 weeks shows he doesn't really care.

[theCobbler]

Keep trying, if he's that phone backwards, then you'll have to text him, but he's interested, but just doesn't know how to proceed!

[theCobbler]

Call him, be courageous, and honest with Yourself and him! Tell him how you feel, and ask him if the two have a future!,

[Aakash_Hangargi]

He just has no topics to discuss with you that would interest you both hence the silence🔇🔕

[DaMack999]

You're right n mature. You don't throw away your apples just cause you saw a new tree. Lol real women dates a 1000 n married 1.

[kflouros8]

Probably shy. You can find hints in the way he behaved during your meetups to figure out if he likes you. If he was shy in person as well he probably likes you. How was he generally?

[Aaron_Stone]

you've already written your answer in the end lines😁

[Anonymous]

Either way, he looks pretty boring to me. I'd give up If I were you.

[Anonymous]

He just wants a blowjob because I did the same shit to a fat girl

[Hidden_P]

You’re a sweetheart!

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks, I try

[Avicenna]

He sounds shy and inexperienced.

[_Marco]

Sounds like something a shy guy would do alright

[TacosRAwesome]

Uninterested or just likes being chased.

[Honestyyy]

Never initiates. Haha me

[H3LLBRING3R]

Busy prolly, I don’t text that often.

[8colors]

It's better if it's you who chase

[lsjr16]

He could be shy and nerdy

[2lgt2quit]

Text paragraphs are really intimidating

[kammo_Cool]

May be shy or nervous!!!

[ceonametag]

Talk to him and bring it up.

[Node95]

I agree with that

[ceonametag]

Ask if you can Skype him to show that you're serious about your relationship.

[Anonymous]

Could you ask him?

[Daniel_Dano]

He sounds shy

[princekumar]

Hiii