He suddenly wants to cuddle with me. Is it platonic or romantic?

[Anonymous]

So, recently a guy I know initiated cuddling with me. We work together and we're kind of friendly. Then one day he asked me to cuddle and since then whenever we are together he will lean on me or hug me. He's asked me to cuddled twice, and when we did he held me really tight. He loves when I play with his hair and even falls asleep in my arms. He's also said things like he loves how warm I am and that I'm really sweet. What has me confused is he said he's cuddled before (though it's been over a year) and I don't know if I'm just another cuddle buddy or if he likes me. I'm so confused and just trying to save myself from catching feelings and getting hurt if I'm just a warm body for him to snuggle up to and get some sleep :(

When we cuddle he lets me choose the position and if I lay on his chest he'll brush my hair and stroke my arms or back. Or I'll let him lay on my chest and he nuzzles his face into my neck.

[Aguysopinion4799]

Well, you either have a really sweet guy who has a really wonderful crush on you, or you have a really cute guy who just loves to be affectionate with others.

Find out by observation, does he do it with a lot of people or are you his one and only person he approaches for cuddling?

IF he cuddles other people, does he behave the same way as he does with you, does he compliment them like he does you, does he like to nuzzle against them, does he play with their hair?

That sort of stuff.

I myself LOVE to cuddle people, but I get very flustered if I even think about the idea of cuddling a person I have a crush on, which means I love to display my affection towards all my friends through hugs, cuddles and ruffling hair is also a thing I do. Cuddling and nuzzling is a thing that my friends are comfortable with, they like how affectionate I am to them.

I know that I have unintentionally given some people the wrong idea before when cuddling them, or just physical contact that I suppose must have been more intimate for them than it is to me, such as playing with their hair or picking them up or nuzzling up with them, I considered them simple gestures of platonic love, since my friends knew my personality was like that, I didn't think I would lead someone on.

I cleared up the misunderstanding and it went well, now I clarify with anyone I cuddle that it is my own way of showing platonic affection and to only take it as a friendly gesture.


So it really depends on the guys personality.

[Asker]

The first time we cuddled he told me he hadn't cuddled anyone in over a year. And I know he has lots of girls that are friends. And now every time we work together he hugs me before I leave or he has to leave. He knows I'm a person who is very clingy and loves hugs so I don't know if he's just doing it because he thinks i want it? But today he laid his head on my lap and told me about all these different things he did the last three days we didn't see each other. I'm so confused because he's sending me so many different signals

[Aguysopinion4799]

Hmm... If he isn't doing it with anyone else and he is behaving like this, we can get rid of the option of it being a regular personality trait of his, it isn't just his regular persona to all his friends, which would make me think he values you as a much more important person in his life, either as a absolute necessity in his life or as a crush.

It is possible that he genuinely needs you in his life as a friend, as in he feels so comfortable and trusts you with his very being so that he really needs you to comfort him.

The second option is that he has a really strong crush on you and is trying to display those feelings to you.

I would suggest asking him what you are to him, it is a question that doesn't require you to ask him if he has a crush on you and you don't need to ask him if he is interested in dating someone, you are just asking him what he sees you as, this way he can tell you if you are just a very important friend or something more.

[kele_]

You need to talk to him about your feelings he sounds like a sensitive guy but nice just be open to him 👍🏾

[Asker]

Thanks. That's... Actually very simple but helpful. Its just, when we cuddle everything feels so easy but when we separate I start getting all these thoughts. If he asks me to cuddle with him again, I'll try to talk to him about it.

[Flower7]

I don't feel that cuddling is ever platonic. He's interested in you as more than just a friend. It would be okay to catch feelings for him because he seems to have some for you already.

[Asker]

It feels so nice to cuddle with him and I've had a small crush on him even before we started the cuddling. I just don't want my small crush to develop into something bigger if he's only doing this for fun.

[Flower7]

It's more than just for fun. It seems like you're special to him.

[Bluemax]

I remain skeptical that there is such a thing as platonic cuddling between a straight man and woman. And what you describe is a lot more than kinda friendly. Since you work with him, this cuddling seems ill advised.

[Iron_Man]

I’m not really familiar with Platonic but I would say romantic

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Doesn't sound very platonic honestly...

[Asker]

I'm just so confused because the cuddling doesn't seem platonic but then when we're not at work or not cuddling, he doesn't text me.

[asshole_]

Guys and girls don't "cuddle", unless, there's something more there

Or they're gay

[Avicenna]

Probably romantic

[JesseCraft]

Both