How do I tell a guy friend I need space because I'm developing feelings for him?

[Bella51213]

I've known this guy about 2 years, we have had a but of a flirt/casual hook up in the past.
Lately it's just been platonic (the odd few flirts admittedly, on both parts) we text and speak on the phone quite a bit more than we used too.
I don't think there would ever been a relationship between us but I have started developing feels.
How do I tell him that I need a bit of space? Do I be honest? I don't want to look, or feel, stupid telling him and I don't want to fall out with him either. I just need a bit of space to regroup and get my head back straight so we can just continue a platonic friendship. Help...🥴

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for all your advice... I cooled things for a while just made out was busy with work etc. We haven't spoke for 10 days and the space was helping me get my head back on straight. Then out of the blue he drops a message, basically just saying hey you, thanks for all you've done for me. You deserve the best ❤❤. So do I take that as a goodbye now? I knew it was a risk I'd loose him as a friend all together. I'm just not sure why he bothered to message at all! I gave him an out by backing off

[Siren777]

Be honest regardless of circumstances. Let him know that no matter how he feels even if he doesn't feel the same way, you're still willing to keep the platonic friendship going and tell him why you need some space. A decent guy would understand and give you space. If it starts any argument and he gets all weird. He wasn't a good friend to begin with. As he could easily have used your body without a problem earlier when you were friends with benefits but now he cannot even understand where you're coming from? At least you will know where to stand and what to do in a case where you have to move on.

[Massageman]

Having that "space" is probably not going to allow you to "keep things platonic", if THAT is your goal.

Be honest. Explain as best as you can what is going on in your mind - and body - when it comes to being with him. If he mocks you, he wasn't worth keeping. Hopefully, he will appreciate your honesty and you can work out anything that needs working out- whether for being platonic or getting romantic. Good luck.

[GingerGuy]

Yes just be honest. Think of it in the reverse, you'd want to know right? And there's no other way (good way) to do it other than being honest. Anything else is only going to make him question and wonder. That leads to people making assumptions, which is never good.

[GingerGuy]

And yes, unfortunately there is the potential risk that he could decide to just end the relationship all together, in which case you have to respect that and you can't control that unfortunately. But guys are less likely to do this than women are. If you explain it fully, I can't see a problem with it. You'll probably get exactly what you want.

[kkirk4442]

Say it kindly, but be up front and honest with him. That may cause some issues, but it will cause fewer issues than playing games, or being dishonest with him.

[spartan55]

Space is stupid, and he won't think the same of you if you ask. You should abandon the "I don't want to get hurt mindset". No risk equals no reward.

[Wise4myage]

He may have already sensed you have feelings for him, but you need to tell him or he's gonna think he did something wrong. So just come out with it, and you will feel better.

[deeks1121]

Why do you need space? There's obviously a spark so why not just try it and if it really is platonic then you'll remain friends anyway

[Bella51213]

There is defo a spark and its great but I just don't get the impression he's into me that way, despite the chemistry. My confidence isn't the best and just think that's holding me back

[deeks1121]

I say go for it! You can't be any worse off and if it was me I'd be flattered

[Bklynbadboy12]

Why do people do this if you like him tell him if he feels the same way then go with it if not at least you know

[Bella51213]

Think it's the fear of getting hurt. The thought of putting myself out there and getting rejected seems worse than just taking some space and squashing down my feelings.

[Bklynbadboy12]

What your doing won't work your too emotionally invested

[KrakenAttackin]

Tell him he is just an emotional tampon and a girl shouldn't develop feelings for a tampon... sorry, not sorry.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Doesn't this then prove guys and girls can't be "just friends"

GET OVER IT PEOPLE, IT DOES NOT WORK

[In_Trance]

"I need space because I'm developing feelings for you"

That's it; you're done

[Dean269]

Why? COVID has taught us to live in present, u never know what future will bring

[JamieLoves]

Say, I like you. Let’s go out

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Just say “I can’t see you right now” or something.

[seanscoopers]

So you like him