How Do You Feel About Confident Women?

[Alyssa11]

I tell myself I’ll only scare the guys who aren’t equipped for me but damn I think I scare too many guys... like it’s genuinely a problem.

How do u feel when u meet a confident woman? I. e. not shy (I still have my insecurities). Can start and carry on a conversation, can speak her mind...

Updates

+1 y

Maybe I’m just an extrovert I don't know either way a lot of guys get intimated when I talk to them

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I LOVE confident women, especially when she's confident in expressing her femininity. I don't so much like when some women falsely assume being confident means being masculine. Feminine confidence is an aphrodisiac in itself. I wouldn't be scared off at all. I'd admire her femininity and confidence the same way I admire a beautiful painting or novel. I think some men feel threatened, but I don't see any conflict to be afraid of. It's not like her confidence in any way invalidates or undermines the man's confidence. They're like complimentary opposites, yin and yang.

Besides, I'm not the sort who needs to constantly have the spotlight in a social situation, so if she's got enough social battery to talk and talk and talk for the two of us, then frankly that's a bonus to me lol. I love engaging and deep or fun conversations, but at a certain point I kinda run out of steam and prefer to pass the ball to someone else who can run with it for a bit. With very shy girls the onus typically falls on the guy to initiate every conversation and carry it. So if every conversation I initiate hits a dead end within a few minutes, then at a certain point I'll just phase out. It's sexy when the girl can inject some spice and wit into the conversation, even if she's disagreeing with me on something. Of course it's different if she's just being a Karen and disagreeing to try and start a fight. But if she's disagreeing because she honestly sees things differently, then I wanna explore that with her and see where it leads, coz maybe she knows something I don't, and maybe I know something she doesn't, and somewhere in the middle of that knowledge gap, is a shared mental stimulation. And when my mind is engaged fully, my heart and my gut are never far behind.

[Jaximus-Lion]

I married the one that is confident, 13 years together and still going. The guys you are scaring away is a good sign, they are not worth it. Stay confident and do not put much presure on this. Have fun and when a guy you talking to stay close, go for it

[Coulis]

Men love confident women like high end cars. They admire them, stare at them, talk about them, dream of and may even get to take a few for a spin but not everyone has what it takes or wants the responsibility of the upkeep. Vroom Vroom 💨

[jennifer_bloom]

A confident woman is less likely to get taken advantage of or used and she has an easier time getting unconditional love for a guy, insecure woman are usually only liked for the service they offer the man and not who they are as people.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I disagree, If a man is loving a women and genuinely no insecurity matters to them service is fine but they love for the person insecure or not

[Alyssa11]

I can proudly say no guy has ever tried to use me or take advantage of me. Yeah I dated some real idiots, from insecure and abusive to cheaters, but I never slept with any of them and they were still in love with me and wanting to marry me. Being confident and firm in your beliefs and who you are in a person can do you wonders.

[JRF21]

They were scared of but still wanted to marry you?

[JRF21]

*of you

[Azura_88]

No one gets unconditional love easily. Some insecure people also get true love. I am confident but my ugly ex was insecure and he was extremely manipulative, that's how he managed to get me but the moment I caught him in the act, he got dumped and still tries to persuade me even after 1 year of breakup. He is very selfish and cruel.

[oldasIfeel22]

What is a “confident woman”. Here is my definition:

- Goes after what she wants in life. If she falls short she doesn’t make excuses, people or most pathetic at all “patriarchy”.

- She communicates directly to men if she likes them or does not like them. She’s direct yet respectful about it (unless the guy gives a legitimate reason for her not to)

- She’s fights fair in confrontations and arguments. For example if she is pissed off at a male coworker, neighbor, etc. She confronts him about the issue on hand. She doesn’t insult him about something unrelated to the issue (him balding, being old, etc.). She’s got the self control to not take cheap shots. She cares about WHAT is right vs being right.

- She can have occasional emotional outbursts. She’s a woman. But after she calms down she apologizes if she did/said something unfair and stupid. It’s not weakness but actually strength to apologize when you legitimately did something wrong.

- She puts effort into understanding the male POV. So let’s say in a “friendzone” situation she has can be tactfully direct (early) about where he stands before he wasted more tirne, effort, Hope, money and heart on her. She’s ready to accept that he might walk away but understands why.

- She’s smart enough to understand that controlling and aggressive men are not confident but rather deeply insecure and compensating for it. She confident enough to call them out on it. She’s smart to realize their behavior isn’t to be confused with masculine energy.

- she speaks up about what she likes in bed.

- she knows the difference between regret vs. rape. If she goes out and gets drunk with a guy, has then consensual sex with him and wakes up the next day to regret she knows it as mistake SHE made.

[AlexanderAnttila]

Confident or obnoxious? Many women use "confidence" as an excuse for not even displaying basic decency, being stuck up, vain and expecting much for nothing in return in a relationship. And when they're called out they give that line; "you just can't handle me", "you just can't handle confident women".

You don't scare me Alyssa nor do I think you would IRL. You've never struck me as someone who would intimidate people. You seem rather nice, polite and docile almost.

[Alyssa11]

Thank you!! Definitely not obnoxious :)

[AlexanderAnttila]

Good ;)

[bamesjond0069]

I agree with this.

[zeitgeist057]

Depends on her brand of confidence. Just like some guys think being an "alpha" means being inconsiderate, loudmouth, bully, macho, etc. Some women think "confidence" is the same as being many of the things I just listed, then when people avoid them they say "Oh, they just can't handle my confidence.". But that's not it, the truth is they are unpleasant to be around.

Someone who is really just confident is great. Who is also kind, considerate, funny, playful, interesting, intelligent, or any other number of positive qualities. But abrasive "confident" people are a drag, whether they are female or male doesn't matter.

[invalid1]

I don't feel anything, not intimidated nor insecure. I will be intimidated and insecure if I see some sort of huge knowledge, or wisdom. Because I will know that this woman has read more than me, grown more than me, worked more than me.
Otherwise, confidence I know is not an indication of how awesome someone is... I mean AT ALL. I think confidence tricks simple minded folks, because it doesn't necessarily take an actual worthy positive view of the self. You can be trash and still be confident. So yeah, unless there was something worthy behind that confidence, otherwise it means nothing to me.

[invalid1]

You can probably fake unconfident signs if that helps. For example, if I see people starting to get intimidated in general by me being confident, I fake gestures like lowering my head or scratching my hair with a smile. Just to make them less nervous, if they fall for this it means they're awesome. If they don't or if they stupidly take it as a chance to look down upon me. I know they're opportunists and bad, and I leave them. I hope this helps 🌹

[Alyssa11]

This is awesome advice thank you!

[invalid1]

You're welcome!

[jasco]

Theirs a difference between being confident and being bitchy. Most guys don't mind confident women. However confidence can make people feel uneasy when its not what their use to. Women generally speaking ( the ones I have met ) aren't the type to be like yourself. So some men who aren't used to it, or simply don't know what to do when around you. Simply leave you alone. They aren't scared of you. Matter of fact confidence doesn't make people scared, it makes them awestruck. So in short no you aren't scary, its just the men around you don't know how to talk to you. Their nervous

[Alyssa11]

Right!

[ChrisMaster69]

I’ve said a few times I love them.

my ideal woman is Confident, independent, feisty / fiery, does her own thing, not a follower, strong, intelligent.

it is a serious turn on when you meet a girl and she gives back verbally as good as she takes it.

A lot has to do with coming from where I do (Newcastle England) and girls are naturally happy to tell you in no uncertain terms what they think of you.

They will and do make the first move, such as walking up to a guy and asking him out.

having seen one of my mates (from down south) when we were out in Newcastle at weekend (night), have a girl come over and ask him out. It was excellent seeing his fish expression with his lips moving and no words coming out lol, it actually scared him lol.

So yeah some guys struggle with it.

it’s not Alpha stuff, it’s just being confident enough and happy that you can talk to another person.

So yes I love it.

[Coulis]

Newcastle. Say no more.

[Crazybeeguy]

Hmmm, it's a good thing that you can approach men and start a conversation. You will have guys that are caught off guard, they are not expecting you to hit on them and be forward. Plus if they are young guys your age, you will get that a lot.
A strong independent women is highly attractive, you just have to find a guy that is looking for that.
I hope you find what you are looking for.

Stay thirsty my friend.

[Alyssa11]

Pour me waterrrrr, some holy water, quench my fever ayayayayayyyyy

[ohshee]

I love the quiet Confident Woman he just does things out of the blue because it's not a big deal it's just who she is it's something beautiful and sexy about that. CONFIDENCE is shown in a lot of different ways

For some Reason I think you would probably be good at every thing you do ,

[ohshee]

It's probably because you're beautiful and confident

[Alyssa11]

Thank you, you’re the sweetest!

[ohshee]

😊😊😊

[TruthBringer]

Women who often claim to be "confident" and that "men can't handle" them are often mistaking confidence with behaving like a man. Now I'm not saying this is you, but try to find out if you fit the category because there are so many women who have this issue (thanks to brainwashing of feminism). This whole "confidence" thing is often mistaken for unnecessary competitiveness and headbutting. Which ironically is actually the very opposite of confidence. It is a clear sign of insecurity and inferiority complex. If there is something that turns off a self-respecting man, it is that. A true confident woman is one who is confident in her own femininity and is not one who feels the need to present 'masculine' traits in order to appear "confident".

Once again, not saying this is you, but you might very well be just that.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

There’s no such thing until she’s with a solid man. If you take away all of her emotional crutches, nearly every woman alive will break down in tears. There are arrogant women, there are narcissistic women, there are a rare few successful women with earned confidence, and there are taken women. Most women do not fall into the confident pool of taken women and such a small percentage of women are actually successful with earned confidence or confident because of their relationship that these are statistically anomalies.

[Alyssa11]

Lol what woman hurt you

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

Maybe you should actually study sexual psychology a bit before coming at me with your hurt feelings. But hey what else should I expect?

[Alyssa11]

I’m not hurt, you’re answer gives the impression that women have hurt you

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

I’ve been engaged twice and it has forced me to actually research psychology and intellectual differences between men and women.

[Wisenhot]

I e noticed a lot of “confident women” claim that they are confident when they are usually competitive. There is nothing wrong with competitiveness but men usually don’t want a woman who is going to be competing and reminding them of the stress of competing. So when I find a girl who is very competitive. Who always thinks she should be right type of person I stay away unless it’s a friends with benefits.

[Alyssa11]

I’m not competitive

[Wisenhot]

What do you mean by confident?

[Alyssa11]

I tell a guy straight up when I like him and what my needs are :(

[Wisenhot]

Haha ok. What are your need usually?

[Tinaaas]

Competitive with other women?

[Alyssa11]

It’s contextual! :)

[Wisenhot]

Are you independent and making money? Enough money to live the lifestyle you want?

[Alyssa11]

I’m independent and making money. I’m not interested in being wealthy that’s not my goal in life.. just doing something I love and doing my bit for society :) I’m a journalist.

[Wisenhot]

You have a purpose and you’re going for it. Most guys don’t and get intimidated by that.
My recommendation: Try to find yourself a man not a boy. That doesn’t come with age but with experience. Also who has his own views and is unapologetic.

[Alyssa11]

I hope to date someone like that one day :)

[Wisenhot]

Let me know when you’re in miami. Ill take you out on a date

[JRF21]

Being confident is a good thing. There's nothing to dislike about it.

It's good for anyone to be confident. While lack of confidence can break the deal, I don't think just being confident makes the deal or breaks the deal... Everyone has their own list of requirements for a partner and also a list of things they don't want in a partner. A confident person can clearly tell us what they want and how they want things to be in a relationship. A confident person makes it easier for us to say yes or no.
I think that men you've dated want things you don't like or you want things they don't want.

[NathanDavis]

I feel completely "normal"

They were/are in my family, my relatives, my street, school, work... acquaitances, all my friends, all my girlfriends...

is not like truly confident people are rare unicorns, not on my experience anyway

[MrCommodore]

I like confident women, but not obnoxious or arrogant women. I'm not a clingy type of guy, I prefer a woman who can continue to live her own life, enjoy her own hobbies and chill with her friends/family and not constantly need my attention. I find confident women general are that way anyways.

[Coolkat12345]

Hey I’m a confident guy so I’m only attracted to a confident woman. I believe in myself so I’m attracted to woman who also do the same. I hold my self to a high standard so I’m attracted to woman who do as well. So I think you should stay this way and so what if you scare off some guys, maybe they are weak. Do you want a weak guy? If not then be strong and confident and you will get somebody good right?

[Alyssa11]

That sounds good!

[HawkPerception]

It's taken me a while to realize it, but I'm mostly interested in confident girls that know their worth and what they want in life. I prefer having a partner that can make her own decisions and have her own views rather than a doll that just does whatever I say.

[Rok4bakAR]

Depends what you mean by confidence? I’ve seen girls who as soon as they open their mouth you wanna run.


They’re loud annoying and make stupid jokes, that no one laughs. And they laugh at it themselves.


That’s not confidence that’s annoying.
I had a radio show where women use to call in, and they kept saying “we’re confident/ independent etc..”
But they couldn’t hold up any thoughtful disagreements, they always repeat the same information 10 times, or yell, or get upset.


Women generally are only confident against SIMPS!!


A lion will always dominate the kingdom. You can be a queen not a problem. But the highest position is the queen.

[crazy8000]

I doubt it has to do with your confidence or selfasteam.

It could be your attitude and what you say and do that make them back off.

Also that you aren't what they are after in a partner.

Also.
External confidence/selfasteam isn't that attractive.

The masses aren't a good partner to begin with or to have in our life to begin with.


If I was you I wouldn't care if I scare away.
Be more about attracting what I'm really after and need.
That special connection. (that is built not some magical mystery)
The rest is just a waste of time/effort.
Be more specific and direct what you want if you are that kind of person.

[Iron_Man]

I like confident women. They’re to many women out there that are insecure about their looks and worry
If they can make it in life. I like somebody that’s going to tell themselves that yes they do look good and that I’m gonna work hard to make it and will

[Anonymous]

They exist? lol ;)

The same as women like confident guys, we do as well. It's an attractive quality period (unless the guy is abusive or wants to control you). But it also very much depends on the attitude that goes with it. Sometimes women think they are "better" than we are (or that's the attitude that comes out), so that's unattractive. So no arrogance etc.