How Do You Feel About Confident Women?

Question

I tell myself I’ll only scare the guys who aren’t equipped for me but damn I think I scare too many guys... like it’s genuinely a problem.

How do u feel when u meet a confident woman? I. e. not shy (I still have my insecurities). Can start and carry on a conversation, can speak her mind...

SomeGuyCalledTom · Accepted Answer

I LOVE confident women, especially when she's confident in expressing her femininity. I don't so much like when some women falsely assume being confident means being masculine. Feminine confidence is an aphrodisiac in itself. I wouldn't be scared off at all. I'd admire her femininity and confidence the same way I admire a beautiful painting or novel. I think some men feel threatened, but I don't see any conflict to be afraid of. It's not like her confidence in any way invalidates or undermines the man's confidence. They're like complimentary opposites, yin and yang.

Besides, I'm not the sort who needs to constantly have the spotlight in a social situation, so if she's got enough social battery to talk and talk and talk for the two of us, then frankly that's a bonus to me lol. I love engaging and deep or fun conversations, but at a certain point I kinda run out of steam and prefer to pass the ball to someone else who can run with it for a bit. With very shy girls the onus typically falls on the guy to initiate every conversation and carry it. So if every conversation I initiate hits a dead end within a few minutes, then at a certain point I'll just phase out. It's sexy when the girl can inject some spice and wit into the conversation, even if she's disagreeing with me on something. Of course it's different if she's just being a Karen and disagreeing to try and start a fight. But if she's disagreeing because she honestly sees things differently, then I wanna explore that with her and see where it leads, coz maybe she knows something I don't, and maybe I know something she doesn't, and somewhere in the middle of that knowledge gap, is a shared mental stimulation. And when my mind is engaged fully, my heart and my gut are never far behind.

Jaximus-Lion · Accepted Answer

I married the one that is confident, 13 years together and still going. The guys you are scaring away is a good sign, they are not worth it. Stay confident and do not put much presure on this. Have fun and when a guy you talking to stay close, go for it

Coulis · Accepted Answer

Men love confident women like high end cars. They admire them, stare at them, talk about them, dream of and may even get to take a few for a spin but not everyone has what it takes or wants the responsibility of the upkeep. Vroom Vroom 💨

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

A confident woman is less likely to get taken advantage of or used and she has an easier time getting unconditional love for a guy, insecure woman are usually only liked for the service they offer the man and not who they are as people.

oldasIfeel22 · Answer

What is a “confident woman”. Here is my definition:

- Goes after what she wants in life. If she falls short she doesn’t make excuses, people or most pathetic at all “patriarchy”.

- She communicates directly to men if she likes them or does not like them. She’s direct yet respectful about it (unless the guy gives a legitimate reason for her not to)

- She’s fights fair in confrontations and arguments. For example if she is pissed off at a male coworker, neighbor, etc. She confronts him about the issue on hand. She doesn’t insult him about something unrelated to the issue (him balding, being old, etc.). She’s got the self control to not take cheap shots. She cares about WHAT is right vs being right.

- She can have occasional emotional outbursts. She’s a woman. But after she calms down she apologizes if she did/said something unfair and stupid. It’s not weakness but actually strength to apologize when you legitimately did something wrong.

- She puts effort into understanding the male POV. So let’s say in a “friendzone” situation she has can be tactfully direct (early) about where he stands before he wasted more tirne, effort, Hope, money and heart on her. She’s ready to accept that he might walk away but understands why.

- She’s smart enough to understand that controlling and aggressive men are not confident but rather deeply insecure and compensating for it. She confident enough to call them out on it. She’s smart to realize their behavior isn’t to be confused with masculine energy.

- she speaks up about what she likes in bed.

- she knows the difference between regret vs. rape. If she goes out and gets drunk with a guy, has then consensual sex with him and wakes up the next day to regret she knows it as mistake SHE made.

AlexanderAnttila · Answer

Confident or obnoxious? Many women use "confidence" as an excuse for not even displaying basic decency, being stuck up, vain and expecting much for nothing in return in a relationship. And when they're called out they give that line; "you just can't handle me", "you just can't handle confident women".

You don't scare me Alyssa nor do I think you would IRL. You've never struck me as someone who would intimidate people. You seem rather nice, polite and docile almost.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

Depends on her brand of confidence. Just like some guys think being an "alpha" means being inconsiderate, loudmouth, bully, macho, etc. Some women think "confidence" is the same as being many of the things I just listed, then when people avoid them they say "Oh, they just can't handle my confidence.". But that's not it, the truth is they are unpleasant to be around.

Someone who is really just confident is great. Who is also kind, considerate, funny, playful, interesting, intelligent, or any other number of positive qualities. But abrasive "confident" people are a drag, whether they are female or male doesn't matter.

invalid1 · Answer

I don't feel anything, not intimidated nor insecure. I will be intimidated and insecure if I see some sort of huge knowledge, or wisdom. Because I will know that this woman has read more than me, grown more than me, worked more than me.
Otherwise, confidence I know is not an indication of how awesome someone is... I mean AT ALL. I think confidence tricks simple minded folks, because it doesn't necessarily take an actual worthy positive view of the self. You can be trash and still be confident. So yeah, unless there was something worthy behind that confidence, otherwise it means nothing to me.

jasco · Answer

Theirs a difference between being confident and being bitchy. Most guys don't mind confident women. However confidence can make people feel uneasy when its not what their use to. Women generally speaking ( the ones I have met ) aren't the type to be like yourself. So some men who aren't used to it, or simply don't know what to do when around you. Simply leave you alone. They aren't scared of you. Matter of fact confidence doesn't make people scared, it makes them awestruck. So in short no you aren't scary, its just the men around you don't know how to talk to you. Their nervous

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I’ve said a few times I love them.

my ideal woman is Confident, independent, feisty / fiery, does her own thing, not a follower, strong, intelligent.

it is a serious turn on when you meet a girl and she gives back verbally as good as she takes it.

A lot has to do with coming from where I do (Newcastle England) and girls are naturally happy to tell you in no uncertain terms what they think of you.

They will and do make the first move, such as walking up to a guy and asking him out.

having seen one of my mates (from down south) when we were out in Newcastle at weekend (night), have a girl come over and ask him out. It was excellent seeing his fish expression with his lips moving and no words coming out lol, it actually scared him lol.

So yeah some guys struggle with it.

it’s not Alpha stuff, it’s just being confident enough and happy that you can talk to another person.

So yes I love it.

Crazybeeguy · Answer

Hmmm, it's a good thing that you can approach men and start a conversation. You will have guys that are caught off guard, they are not expecting you to hit on them and be forward. Plus if they are young guys your age, you will get that a lot.
A strong independent women is highly attractive, you just have to find a guy that is looking for that.
I hope you find what you are looking for.

Stay thirsty my friend.

ohshee · Answer

I love the quiet Confident Woman he just does things out of the blue because it's not a big deal it's just who she is it's something beautiful and sexy about that. CONFIDENCE is shown in a lot of different ways

For some Reason I think you would probably be good at every thing you do ,

TruthBringer · Answer

Women who often claim to be "confident" and that "men can't handle" them are often mistaking confidence with behaving like a man. Now I'm not saying this is you, but try to find out if you fit the category because there are so many women who have this issue (thanks to brainwashing of feminism). This whole "confidence" thing is often mistaken for unnecessary competitiveness and headbutting. Which ironically is actually the very opposite of confidence. It is a clear sign of insecurity and inferiority complex. If there is something that turns off a self-respecting man, it is that. A true confident woman is one who is confident in her own femininity and is not one who feels the need to present 'masculine' traits in order to appear "confident".

Once again, not saying this is you, but you might very well be just that.

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

There’s no such thing until she’s with a solid man. If you take away all of her emotional crutches, nearly every woman alive will break down in tears. There are arrogant women, there are narcissistic women, there are a rare few successful women with earned confidence, and there are taken women. Most women do not fall into the confident pool of taken women and such a small percentage of women are actually successful with earned confidence or confident because of their relationship that these are statistically anomalies.

Wisenhot · Answer

I e noticed a lot of “confident women” claim that they are confident when they are usually competitive. There is nothing wrong with competitiveness but men usually don’t want a woman who is going to be competing and reminding them of the stress of competing. So when I find a girl who is very competitive. Who always thinks she should be right type of person I stay away unless it’s a friends with benefits.

HawkPerception · Answer

It's taken me a while to realize it, but I'm mostly interested in confident girls that know their worth and what they want in life. I prefer having a partner that can make her own decisions and have her own views rather than a doll that just does whatever I say.

JRF21 · Answer

Being confident is a good thing. There's nothing to dislike about it.

It's good for anyone to be confident. While lack of confidence can break the deal, I don't think just being confident makes the deal or breaks the deal... Everyone has their own list of requirements for a partner and also a list of things they don't want in a partner. A confident person can clearly tell us what they want and how they want things to be in a relationship. A confident person makes it easier for us to say yes or no.
I think that men you've dated want things you don't like or you want things they don't want.

NathanDavis · Answer

I feel completely "normal"

They were/are in my family, my relatives, my street, school, work... acquaitances, all my friends, all my girlfriends...

is not like truly confident people are rare unicorns, not on my experience anyway

MrCommodore · Answer

I like confident women, but not obnoxious or arrogant women. I'm not a clingy type of guy, I prefer a woman who can continue to live her own life, enjoy her own hobbies and chill with her friends/family and not constantly need my attention. I find confident women general are that way anyways.

Coolkat12345 · Answer

Hey I’m a confident guy so I’m only attracted to a confident woman. I believe in myself so I’m attracted to woman who also do the same. I hold my self to a high standard so I’m attracted to woman who do as well. So I think you should stay this way and so what if you scare off some guys, maybe they are weak. Do you want a weak guy? If not then be strong and confident and you will get somebody good right?

Rok4bakAR · Answer

Depends what you mean by confidence? I’ve seen girls who as soon as they open their mouth you wanna run.

They’re loud annoying and make stupid jokes, that no one laughs. And they laugh at it themselves.

That’s not confidence that’s annoying.
I had a radio show where women use to call in, and they kept saying “we’re confident/ independent etc..”
But they couldn’t hold up any thoughtful disagreements, they always repeat the same information 10 times, or yell, or get upset.

Women generally are only confident against SIMPS!!

A lion will always dominate the kingdom. You can be a queen not a problem. But the highest position is the queen.

crazy8000 · Answer

I doubt it has to do with your confidence or selfasteam.

It could be your attitude and what you say and do that make them back off.

Also that you aren't what they are after in a partner.

Also.
External confidence/selfasteam isn't that attractive.

The masses aren't a good partner to begin with or to have in our life to begin with.

If I was you I wouldn't care if I scare away.
Be more about attracting what I'm really after and need.
That special connection. (that is built not some magical mystery)
The rest is just a waste of time/effort.
Be more specific and direct what you want if you are that kind of person.

Iron_Man · Answer

I like confident women. They’re to many women out there that are insecure about their looks and worry
If they can make it in life. I like somebody that’s going to tell themselves that yes they do look good and that I’m gonna work hard to make it and will

Anonymous · Answer

They exist? lol ;)

The same as women like confident guys, we do as well. It's an attractive quality period (unless the guy is abusive or wants to control you). But it also very much depends on the attitude that goes with it. Sometimes women think they are "better" than we are (or that's the attitude that comes out), so that's unattractive. So no arrogance etc.

genericname85 · Answer

to the observers, there is a very fine line between confidence and arrogance of course they don't know what's going on in your head, so they are making their own judgements. so maybe people see you as arrogant, when you in your mind are just confident. you think that's a possibility?

Marco10 · Answer

Depends on your definition of confidence. If by confident you mean a woman who’s independent, comfortable in her own skin, not afraid to admit she’s human with insecurities/flaws, then of course that’s great.

But if she thinks she’s above all men and “all men are the same”, and she’s constantly flirtatious with everyone she sees, then no man would want that. Those who do usually don’t have a character.

Confidence ≠ second scenario whatever that’s called.

Acxx30 · Answer

I definitely like it more then a shy woman for sure. Easier to talk to. Generally can hold a conversation easier. Im not always the one who has to decide or pick absolutely everything..
Being shy and timid has never been and will never be a quality im attracted to.

Qdbrown · Answer

If confidence means she is just capable of carrying conversations and knowing what she wants in life is a good thing.

However many women who tell themselves they are confident tend to be argumentative. Men like women who will want to work with them as partners. Not take on a bossy or pushy woman, or worse, a woman who acts like a man. There is a lot of that these days. Maybe these guys are weak who fear confident woken, or maybe they have been burned?

VanillaSalt · Answer

Who cares? If your confident be confident. If they can’t appreciate that they weren’t a good match just the way it is...

Besides this I don’t recommend any man ever responding to women right now. Even trusting a trustworthy woman is foolish when at a whim she can ruin your life without effort. Guys don’t do it.

belle_kai · Answer

I have found a good chunk of guys are easily threatened and I honestly think its to do with my job. Some guys are really insecure about who makes more money, status etc

Anonymous · Answer

I think "good for them" and then really don't think anything of it. It's hilarious to me that people seem to think that somehow this "scares" guys. It doesn't. Same with intelligence. It doesn't scare us--we just don't care that much about it either way.

_ZOE_ · Answer

sure, the right man will accept u!!!
even if you are let’s say more confident than the average girls in today’s world, who are told who to be and what to do!!!
be yourself!!!
I like confident women bc they speak their mind WITHOUT THE FEAR OF BEING JUDGED!!!

Dragonpurple · Answer

Confident is a good thing in general, regardless... so long as the person being confident doesn't come across as arrogant or bossy. Which confident men and women both do... so I love confident women.

Anonymous · Answer

Hmm, most women’s “confidence” is really arrogance and they rationalize it as men who don’t like that as “not worthy”. They’re reluctant to just accept that they’re being ugly.

“Actual” confidence is hit or miss. Sometimes they seem nice and engaging, but it’s also that it seems like it’s not personal. Like oh you just talk to anyone like that, so it feels like you get loads of attention and any interest from me isn’t special or valued at all.

Anonymous · Answer

I have a hard time being myself with women due to traumatic events of my past unrelated to women (and I am working on it). If you found me you might assume it's because you intimidate me but that's not the reality. Don't assume. People might not tell you their reasons for their behaviors because they don't want to be vulnerable to everyone.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

As long as she ain't a feminist, i don't have a problem with her...
The "i can do it all" quote makes me repulse a girl, i'm only comfortable with women who aren't affraid to sat that they need men and that a man is everything for a woman...

More and more, i'm attracted to women who adores becoming housewives after marriage and admit that love and family are their 1st priority... etc

Aimée__LJ · Answer

I've found a lot of men don't like it but then some really fucking love it. I don't want to be a part of someones life if they don't like a woman having confidence.

Nikola321 · Answer

Well, since I'm a shy guy, I'd love a woman like that :D Befriending isn't a challenge, but going for smth more is def a hard thing to do, for me, and for any shy guy :D

CrypticViper · Answer

I love confident women. Give or take my girlfriends confidence is completely shattered and was nothing like she had when she was younger, and it hurts to see such an amazing woman, who was on top of her game confident (a bit shy) but confident, go into someone unsure of herself. We've known each other since were both in diapers, so I know she has it.

gabbay18 · Answer

I like a confident woman.

There are probably a lot of guys who are intimidated, and won't approach. Probably believing your out of their league. There are less and less guys confident enough to approach a women, and this doesn't help. The solution: approach the guy yourself!

Anonymous · Answer

Confident women are like the special kids you tell are good at things. It’s a false pat on the back to make them feel good about themselves. If you put a “strong and independent” female on a island to fend for herself, she would lose all sensibility in an hour.
It’s easy to be “confident” when you live in a society created specifically to support and motivate you as a female. That provides for and protects you, removes all major obstacles.

Leavesbound · Answer

I have dated both confident women and those who were not and both have endearing qualities.

COMMODOREII · Answer

I like you very much. In fact one of the reasons why i like you so much is that you can carry a conversation and are smart. 😎

Anonymous · Answer

I feel its fine as ling as its not arrogant instead. My definition of the confident girl however is more like she feels good enough with herself not to compare unfavorably with others, Is secure enough to speak her mind while still respecting other people have right to their decision snd their opinion, is considerate of others and when trying to achieve something doesn’t put herself or others down.

Ripper_E · Answer

I love confidence in a woman, but it depends. A woman can be confident but still be stupid, annoying, aggressive, etc. Assuming everything else is fine, and she's confident, I love it.

DiegoO · Answer

There is not much to say. I mean, a confident woman will atract a confident man, more likely than a insecure man. An insecure woman will atract insecure men's, on average🤷

Does a confident woman scare guys, usually? That's a cliché. Not all of us are insecure. ☝️

Anonymous · Answer

There is a common misconception that men dislike or are intimidated by confident women. That's really not true, but it's something that women tell themselves to make them feel better about not having success with men. But they do themselves a disservice because they are focusing on the wrong thing, which means they can't fix the actual problem, which is their personality problems, their attitude toward men and relationships, and that they just don't know how to treat a man properly.

Anonymous · Answer

confident?

Are you really confident or are you coming across in a different way. I laugh at stupid women who blather on about how men are intimidated by strong women. No, they are not. They are not attracted to masculine traits or masculine women.

Are you really confident? Then you won't be affected when men reject you , and avoid you or ghost you because you aren't what they are really interested in

Michael10158 · Answer

As long as you're not bitchy or being rude or having an attitude. It may be you are just scaring away the men more beta than you. Or they like you and are shy but dont come back around because they just dont think youd like them in a non shameful way. An extroverted confident alpha will not be intimidated.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I'm all for it. I would class my g/f as confident. I couldn't bear going out with a doormat!

WalkingBassist · Answer

I guess it depends on how you carry it. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Guys I know like a confident woman, but I hardly think anyone likes an arrogant anyone. I consider it a personality plus though. Cheers !

serious · Answer

Okay so what, I am indifferent to them. I mean if they speak to me, I will speak normally. Simple.

IHateBeingaMan · Answer

well nobody really gives a shit about a womans confidence, as in, thats not how men are attracted to women, just being sarcastic because i always resented how men are expected to be the confident ones

KrakenAttackin · Answer

"Men can't handle a real woman"!!!

Wrong. No. Stop.

Men don't want to deal with an Alpha bitch that is masculine than most men, is hyper-competitive, driven by conflict, who would make an awful mother to his children.

Asianguy123 · Answer

Men are scared of them. My friend was like that and so many men confronted her. She was only talking her heart but a lot of men get offended and they confronted her even when she is not talking. I recommend you to hide some of your opinion otherwise the trouble come to you everywhere you go

Arumin_Ian · Answer

Confidence is always good. But Ego is not. Be confident but warm, don't lose the feminine softness in your personality

sp33d · Answer

Depends. A fake confidence (often includes arrogance or superiority complexes) is not impressive. Other than that, I'm all for them.

Andres77 · Answer

Bottom line, he's gotta earn you. I won't say "drop your standards a little" but I will say... be patient. It will pay off in the end.

allaboutyou2 · Answer

I prefer confident women, strength and character is an attraction not a distraction. Those that you scare away are usually those that want to make you less than you are. They are not worth your time.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Thats a very sexy trait I love confident women but they can only date a confident guy if not it won't won't. Don't worry scaring a guy away cause if you do he wasn't the guy for you anyway

Anonymous · Answer

Those things can’t be said online. Ask some friends for true opinion , sometimes confident sounds cocky, arrogant and emasculating

sensible27 · Answer

Well if you're confident and right about something it's helpful, otherwise I don't know.. what's the saying, I'm smart in spots and I like to stay around those spots.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

No man is scared of confidence, its other things that drive men away (ego, aggressiveness, controlling behavior, etc.).

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I love them. Confidence is way more attractive than shyness

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