Would it be wrong of me or unfair if I told my boyfriend not to be friends with the girl he used to have a crush on?

[Anonymous]

So when me and my boyfriend used to date about 7 months ago we broke up. But while we were together he always talked about this girl my brother said he had a crush on because my brother didn't know about us. He then told me that he was just pretending to have a crush on her to get my brother to not suspect us. We eventually ended things because he started dating someone else, not her. But then like not even a month after we broke up he wanted me back but he was still dating this other girl and I didn't want him back or I pretended not to. We started dating about a month ago and he's still friends with this one girl he used to have a crush on he says there's nothing to worry about but they walk to school together everyday. Not something he hides but he still says I have nothing to worry about and that he's over her and that she has a boyfriend Wich is true. But I am worried since we don't really talk that much at school but they do and like I even got mad that she tied his shoe laces. I'm scared that if she continues doing stuff like that he's gonna catch feelings for her if he doesn't already have feelings for her. What do I do. Do I tell him to pick me or her or would that just be crazy?

[Bella9191]

Okay your jealous I get that, but the thing is. Trying to control someone never works.
it makes them lie to you and do something behind your back.
if someone wants to do something they will do it. Forbidding them won’t change anything. It will make them learn to lie better.

all you can do is express to your boyfriend that you feel hurt when he talks to her and you prefer he doesn’t but the choice is up to him. Then wait and see what happens.
if he chooses to keep speaking to her after you say that. You then know that if you forbid him, he will lie and do it behind your back anyway. Because even after knowing you don’t like it he still talks to her.

[Lyrem_]

Not at all. Other girl bffs other than you is odd. A guy never stays bestfriend with a girl if they don’t want something more, if they didn’t now they definitely did bfore or def will. Stay safe💕

[JosephPit]

It's a hard situation. I wouldn't directly come out and tell him he can't hang out with her anymore, that's to straight forward. Also if he isn't telling you you can't hang out with another guy for example I would really not ask him to stop hanging out with her.

I'd tell him that you're a little bothered by it even though he keeps telling you everything is fine and you don't need to worry and if he might be able to cut back on the contact a bit, but just know that this might put some pressure on your relationship as well

[kkirk4442]

If he only had a crush on her, and never was in a relationship with her, then it's unfair to expect him not to be friends with her. Assuming that he's not into her more than just a friend.

[cocolemon]

I would set boundaries. Tell him you are uncomfortable with the situation and if he isn't willing to set boundaries, I would say thats a flag.