Why would he do this and will he regret it?

[Empress86]

I was engaged for 4 years to my this guy. Throughout the relationship I noticed that despite doing regular things that couples do he was always looking at lingerie models online as well has making comments about my weight. I am a very curvy woman which most men appreciate but he seemed to have a issue but would tell me that he loved me. He asked me to attend family functions with him but he warned me that someone may say something about my weight and told me on the first date that I wasn't a model, which was bizarre. He apologized and I forgave and thought it would get better but if continued. I attended some of the functions with him and his family seemed to accept me and were nice to me. He would still come back and say things like calling me hefty, asking me when my baby was due and he knew I wasn't pregnant, making fun of my hips, and he wondered why other men would look at me. When I finally expressed myself to him and a mediator he started yelling and a few days later he ended the relationship. He said that it wasn't working and that I argued too much. He then text me and asked for the ring back because he didn't want to continue paying on it and we were not getting married but I had the ring over a 1.5 years. I complied and gave him the ring and every gift he had given me by mail. After receiving the stuff he text me and told me only wanted the ring and that I was a good person and not have any ill will against him or be mad because he ended it a whole paragraph he wrote for which I didn't respond. How could a person be so cruel?

[GingerGuy]

I question how much he really ever liked you to begin with honestly. Nothing I've read here suggests he ever cared about you in my opinion. And right from the first date he started verbally abusing you. I'm not trying to be hurtful, I'm sure you're hurting enough, but I think he kept you around for whatever selfish purpose, but never cared much for you. Verbal abuse is a way that these types of guys "control" women, playing on their insecurities. I think you're better off without him for sure. Advice, if any guy ever says anything abusive like that, run! No guy that genuinely cares about you would ever put you down like that.

[Empress86]

I totally agree with you. He apologized for his comment on the first date but the comments continued throughout the relationship. I can't say if he cared or not but his actions didn't show that he did. He tried to say that he would always love me at the end and that I was a good person but I argued too much. This spoke volumes to me because how can you love someone and treat them that way.

[Cobygonzalez0603]

Even when you feel at your worst moment in life just remember there are approximately 7B people in the world and at least 1% of the population will like you or find you attractive... shitt look at me... used to be a player, a hoe, a sugar baby and a bad person in general. Ended up falling in love and getting hurt... after that lost all my fear of death and 2 years ago had a car accident that made me loose my marriage, went from 182 pounds of muscle to 116... marriage ended, had to learn to use my right leg again. Don't know if ill have any kids because since the accident i haven't been able to ejaculate and with all those problems now I'm 160pounds, work with a full body armour lvl 4 go to school and work as a bodyguard risking my life every day. I still found my dream girl and she worries about me and shows me love and tells me how much she needs me in her life every day. If i was able to find love with all my flaws and deffects anyone can do it too!

[Empress86]

Thank you for sharing your story. I admire your strength. You are absolutely right about it not being too late to have someone that really loves you despite things that you've been through.

[Siren777]

I am so sorry that you're going through this. Please think about the future before you pursue anything further with a man like this. As it will get worse if you don't do things to his liking. Which is ridiculous as people have high expectations not even they can live up to. I have a question for you, were you always curvy? Or has your body changed over time? Is he only hinting now that he wants you to change? I would say ditch the douche but then again it's your choice as this type of behaviour will continue and get worse over time. So it's up to you. Move on to someone better or change for him even if you lost the weight you still won't be able to live up to his standards...

[Empress86]

I was always curvy from the beginning

[Siren777]

Then he isn't that great of a partner. Sorry hun. He wants you to improve yet you're the person he fell in love with? What BS. What are you going to do about this? Stick with him or move on?

[Empress86]

I am moving on. He tried to say that I was a good person but I argued too much. He calls arguing me expressing myself about how I was being treated and the comments that he made about my weight. I recognize that he didn't "see" the real me he was too focused on something that was not me.

[Siren777]

I am really sorry that you have to go through this. You deserve to be treated better.

[Changiis07]

The fact that he kept saying things about your weight and making fun of it that you are pregnant, that's rude. A lot of men love curvy woman more than thin. You deserve better and glad you didn't marry him and he showed you all this.

[Empress86]

Thank you and yes I am happy that I didn't marry him. It was heartbreaking because I helped him through a lot of tough times and he still didn't recognize my value but now I finally recognize my own value.

[Changiis07]

You gave it your all and that's how it should be. That way you can walk away knowing you did your part and you did it with all your heart. He will eventually regret losing such a wonderful person. On to someone who will love all of you. It's always heartbreaking and having to heal. It's the process of healing which sucks but with time it will all make sense. God takes people away from us that he knows won't be good for us. Time for some self healing and taking care of yourself

[Empress86]

Thank you so much. I agree with you that now I am so happy that I didn't marry him because I was treated so cruelly. I feel bad for staying in a relationship that long, but I have a chance to do better in my next relationship.

[Changiis07]

Nope don't feel bad. We always think we found the person for us and then find out along the way that they are not what we had hoped for. People do change and that's why I haven't been married because I like to get to know someone for a while just to see how they will act in different situations you know. All we can do is take all the good of that person and learn the good qualities about them and take that to the next relationship

[Empress86]

I agree people do change. He left me at a time when I really needed him because I had just moved into a house and needed help doing lawn care and other things because it was hard atthe beginning. He wanted to help me only on his time which ended up being once a month which left me with the entire job myself. I was there when he kept losing jobs, when he couldn't eat at home, when he got sick and needed to go to the hospital, when he needed his laundry done, and when he had a flat tire and his car was about to be towed. When it was time for him to help me with my home and garbage carry offs he bailed or only helped when it was beneficial for him

[Sweepthelegjonny]

According to your story he was a disrespectful asshole from the start. Hyoid saw the red flags but kept ignoring them. He was an asshole that did asshole shit, no surprise there! The real question is how low is your self worth that you didn’t immediately say, “I deserve better.”?

[Empress86]

My self worth at that time was pretty low I have to admit. I was going through some things with my family also while dating him. I would forgive him we he would say he was sorry but I regret not walking away sooner

[Sweepthelegjonny]

Don’t beat yourself up. We all make mistakes but you stood up for yourself in the end. That’s what matters. Your next relationship will be better.

[Empress86]

Thank you so much I will try my best not to think I did anything except stayed too long. Thank you so much for your feedback

[TommyMountainFigure]

In truth I do not know. I wish I was your brother and lived close by. I would have knocked the *unt spark out!

Please ignore that comment if it offends.. I just don't like people who bully or abuse others and feel a duty to wrong a right.

[TommyMountainFigure]

*Right a wrong even

[Empress86]

It's okay and you correct. There was no way to right such an embarrassing and condescending wrong that he did. I didn't respond to his message

[spartan55]

He was a piece of shit from day one and you let him treat you poorly from the jump... I don't know how you could be surprised.

[Empress86]

You are right. I was not at my best from day one and I will admit that. I wish I had been in a better place because I would've never given him a conversation

[spartan55]

And no, he won't regret it.

[Empress86]

Okay

[BeenThereLovedIt]

He's shallow. You dodged a bullet.

[Empress86]

Yes you are so right. It was painful and I didn't see how mad it was until I was out of it. The nerve of him to ask me not to be mad because he left the way that he did.

[ThatNoUVAtYourEyes]

I don't know that _most_ men appreciate curves.
Some do. I don't. Generally those struggling to feed themselves like curves.

[Jamie05rhs]

F him.