Help me out I need advice?

[Anonymous]

Okay before I start I just wanna say I’m underage and I need advice from you guys please be respectful.
This guy I was talking to for a week wanted to link up so we planned it and everything and I skip my last class to go see him. So when I got there we was chilling watching Disney plus, and cuddling on his bed then afterwards he took my virginity and I felt like I was doing something wrong because he looked sad afterwards and he was tired. I chill for a bit left his house and walked back to school mind you I was in pain, bleeding walking back to school and he asked me for $50 and I said for what and he said plan B tbh I didn’t get one like a stupid ass, and I told him if I get pregnant I get pregnant. So hours later he told me he can’t be with me because he’s turning 18 in months and don’t wanna break up because of it I feel like he’s lying to me because you’re a junior how are you turning 18? I mean yeah people graduate late but it doesn’t make sense why he didn’t tell me earlier. Fast forward we stopped talking and for the whole two weeks I missed him but I didn’t wanted to seem desperate that’s why I didn’t text him in the first place and he just ghosted me. Those two whole weeks we had each other location we was following each other on instagram but all that was gone when I posted some guy for a April fools prank and I think that what hurt him because why would he stop sharing his location shortly after I posted a guy? He shouldn’t care he’s the one who didn’t want anything serious.

[Moondog95]

So there’s a few reason why this might have happened.

the first, this guy may be a “conquerer”. Somebody who try’s to sleep with as many different women as they can, just for the simple pleasure of being able to brag about it. They add extra points for taking virginity. A lot of younger guys are like this because of pressure and social norms (if they haven’t slept with a lot of women then they make think of themselves as less adequate.) transversely a lot of these guys who fully embrace this ideology also feel inadequate with themselves because sex is more like a number to them or an accomplishment (or something they needed to prove to themselves) rather than something to enjoy and experience itself. So the joy is fleeting once the deed is done. I’m assuming he’s probably this kind of guy especially after the whole “plan B” comment

the second reason may be because of some underlying emotional reason. Did he have an ex girlfriend that he may have been and still is trying to get over? I’ve been in a situation like this, where I thought sleeping with someone else would help me feel less lonely, but instead it only made me feel dirty and even lonelier. Or it could have been that he was either disappointed with you or himself. Maybe he felt like he didn’t perform properly and withdrew emotionally because he was embarrassed. Or maybe he was expecting more from you and just didn’t get it because you were inexperienced.

or as a possible third, maybe he’s never taken anyones virginity and the blood and pain was off putting.

Either way don’t hold things too personally. Find someone new and stop wasting time and energy on someone so emotionally inept. Anybody who is going to take your virginity and then dispose of you without the slightest explanation is just someone you want to avoid all together.

[Whizzy83]

I lost my virginity at age 22. Personally I would avoid girls like you at my age, meaning if I know a girls got around at such a young age or man they are no good, mentally wise.


My advice to you is you be you. You’re living in a hookup culture so thats your generation. Sadly your parents did not have the wisdom to influence you in the right direction.


Take care of yourself and I wish you the best. You and only you have the freedom to make you own choices but you do not have the freedom that those choices bring. This is why I don’t support abortion, it’s just another “ I’ll just get rid of it “ at the tax payers expense attitude.


Don’t be to hard on yourself and learn from this mistake or be prepared to become a liberal blaming everyone for the suffering and misfortune you will go through.

[Moondog95]

Yea don’t listen to this dude. He sounds like a conservative knob who didn’t get laid till his 20s. Not saying that you should sleep around, but someone trying to shame you because you were sexually active during a time where MOST people experiment is just repulsive and reflects a lot about themselves.

[Whizzy83]

Well like I said. The majority of the population don’t make the wisest of decisions. It perfectly natural to have a blend of characters. Just saying make the best in life without having outcomes that will create an unchangeable butterfly effect. We all make mistakes but liberals more for sure.

[Moondog95]

You said it, everybody makes mistakes. Saying things like “your parents didn’t have the wisdom to influence you in the right direction.” Is just a very ignorant thing to say when you know nothing about this persons upbringing. EVERYBODY makes mistakes. I don’t play into the liberal/conservative mindset but your statement sounded like something straight out of the conservative handbook. Fact is, in life you can’t be afraid to make mistakes - if you do you’ll end up living in a bubble - comfortable and safe but limiting. To judge someone based on a decision they’ve made while in some of the most confusing time of their life is just as short sighted as denying yourself life experiences and lessons. It’s also a good indication as to why you’re 37, single and shaming teenage girls online for having a sexual experience in the budding stages of their sexuality.

[Whizzy83]

Mistake are not stop signs they are guide lines, in hope to learn from them and make betters ones in the future.

One thing I do know is that the smart man learns from his mistakes and the wise man learns from the smart man’s mistakes. Just an old saying.

I also don’t engage nor choose to participate in multiple sexual partners because if you do so you get an STD.

Just wear protection you say!!

Sure but, if having multiple sexual partners gets you an STD and the solution is wearing a condom then I think you failed to understand the point. If your body is telling you to stop having sex or you will get an STD and you choose to just wear a condom, then what do you think sex with multiple partners is doing to your mind.

Your brain release chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin etc and that type of mental abuse will eventually lead to mental devastation. We are talking depression, anxiety, trust issues and so forth.

Pay Attention!!! Some risk are worth jumping into and some will eventually be you last.

Best of luck but I choose to disagree peacefully sir.
-Gonzalez

[Asker]

You really sound dumb slut shaming me online and u don’t know nothing about my parents so stfu