What makes guys feel they need to lift short, petite women? Do they realize this is incredibly annoying and unwelcome?

[SaoirseS]

Pregnant women often put up with people touching/feeling their pregnant bellies, though if you ask them in many cases they will tell you they find it incredibly annoying. With significant others, family, very close friends, and small children they may be fine with it, but not with the neighbor, co-worker, or other more casual acquaintances.

I'm under 5' and weigh in at less than 90 pounds. I don't know what it is about some guys who feel they need to lift me off the ground if they hug me. Or just come up behind me, grab me, and lift me up. I've had guys say "I bet I could press you over my head" and say they want to do it. I will stipulate that they probably can and emphatically state there is no need for them to prove it. Despite me telling some not to do it, some think it's cute and funny and move to lift me despite me giving them fair warning not to. The outcome can sometimes be unfortunate for the guy who does it.

Guys, why do you do this?

Short, petite women, do you experience this as well?

[MisterDub]

I can't speak for *all* guys, but the mental factors may be an inclination to treat petite people like children.

As to pregnant women and touching, as with all touch, permission must be sought or granted to anyone, male or female. Myself, since I would never initiate this, it's quite intimate to be asked "feel my baby tummy" b/c it's quite cool, intimate, and rather sacred. People who aren't on the same page either need to be shown the correct page or have their book thrown out.

Congrats on your baby. My wife is/was 5'1" and delivered our 8 lb 6 oz daughter narrowly avoiding a C-section. One of the cutest thing was when mrs brave wanted to avoid drugs, but when it started hurting, she was like "Epidural. NOW!" Miss daughter came out blue, and after oxygen, she was handed to me. I was like whoa! she's my clone, she'll never be pretty, and I just started bawling and I rushed to do my first handover to Mom. So yeah, sometimes looks matter "too much." Miss Daughter is 32 today, and i am told she is quite attractive. Fortunately, she looks more like her Mom today. They are both quite capable of keeping up with this very emotional Sheldon. DNA? Dunno. ;)

[SaoirseS]

I'm not pregnant, but thank you for your kind words nonetheless :-) I was using the pregnant abdomen reference for comparison.

Congratulations on your daughter and her successful delivery, although 32 years ago, the memory is fresh in your mind. My doctor has already told me when I'm ready to have children there are C-Sections in my future. My mom had three kids, all by C-Section. I'm newlywed so not planning to have kids in the immediate future, but we plan to have them. Our mothers are ready for grandmotherhood and would be elated if we got to the business of babymaking sooner rather than later lol.

[TommyWiseau69]

You're encountering men that want to have some kind of daddy fetish and treat you like a little girl. Avoid them. If it makes you uncomfortable why are you even with these guys? I've never actually witnessed this myself and the only way I can imagine this happening if the guy is a weird ass creep that likes to literally lift women much smaller up. Its actually not safe as well. there's a chance that you could fall and break your bones or have public embarrassment with people around you. Luckily i'm not a tall guy myself so I don't think i'd like to do this. Its way more romantic and intimate being able to just look at a girl in her eyes and kiss her, nothing too extreme.

[Apple1996]

I'm short and I love being carried around not annoying to me at all.

[ChrisMaster69]

Hmm, I had this the other day while shopping in local supermarket.

this woman, who was admittedly very pretty but vertically challenged.

asked me in a really polite manner if I could help her get some packet of the top shelf.

i said sure.

then picked her up so she could reach it.

bloody hell how ungrateful, there was me helping her reach it and she complained about me lifting her up.

Yes I could have done it myself, I just thought she would feel empowered that she actually got it herself …sort of..

[SaoirseS]

In that situation, if she asks for help, then you assist, she has no reason to complain. In Guard confidence courses and teambuilding exercises, there were times when it made sense to put my foot in a guy's hands so he could lift me where I could reach and obstacle and climb, then lower a rope so the rest could follow. Yep, she was ungrateful.

[Jamie05rhs]

@ChrisMaster69 lol.
I know you were joking; that's why it's funny! 😄

[SaoirseS]

@Jamie05rhs. Chris told me privately it was a joke. Sometimes I don’t pick up on a joke lol

[ChrisMaster69]

@SaoirseS they go over your head 🙄

[SaoirseS]

@ChrisMaster69. Yep once in a while. A lot of things do in life do to height challenges.

[SaoirseS]

*due

[Jamie05rhs]

@SaoirseS Lol. It's okay. Sometimes I miss them as well!

[Jamie05rhs]

Also, nice pun! 😄

[NathanDavis]

one of my best friends had this issue... among others, lol...

unless I was around, of course, then guys would keep their distance

some people are just not clear on boundaries and their social skills are not up to date

[SaoirseS]

No doubt some don't understand their boundaries. When in doubt ask, then live with the answer. I get that some guys are just horsing around and have no bad intentions, but some are of the mindset "it annoys her, so I'm going to do it to push her buttons because I think it's funny." Those are the ones who end up getting hurt, sometimes needing medical treatment.

[NathanDavis]

yeah, that is exactly what I have seen... they just can't get it right on their perspective, they do think it is funny to annoy someone and think that it should not be a big deal because they do not really have bad intentions so you ¨should not take it seriously¨ and when you do get annoyed ¨it is cute and funny¨

I guess this comes from a serious lack of experience being around girls and how you interact with them as a guy... or also from the wrong experience, in which guys push their buttons with other guys as much as they can and the everyone laughs it out, so they think girls ¨take it¨ the same...

I do remember a high school day... my best friend, she is also petite and slender, and one day she seemed bothered by her neck and shoulder so... next thing you know, this other classmate that was at least 240 pounds and 6´3¨ tall comes behind her and ¨offers her a shoulder massage¨ which she complains and tells him to stop right away, but he did not... and then he actually grabbed her arms and picked her and said ¨let me crack your back, it will make you feel all better¨ and I was right there, so... needless to say that I felt the need to give him a crash course in boundaries, and it worked well lol... he never did anything like that to any girl in our class, or the school for that matter

while he understood that he should not do that... because people do not like it, he still insisted that he had NO BAD intentions, and he was just trying to be nice and helpful. lol...

[SaoirseS]

When I was a teenager, we had a guy who worked for us, about 6'4" who used to lift me up and hug me. When I told him "ok, enough, let me down" he kept lifting me higher and squeezing tighter. He thought there was no pain worse than hitting his knee on a trailer ball until that day. Took him a while to recover, but he never picked me up again.

[Wubs3000]

Kinda weird if random guys do this I would only do this to like my s/o maybe. Do you hate it when your partner does it too?

[SaoirseS]

My husband doesn't do it to me, he knows better. Besides, he's only about 3" taller than me :-)

[Wubs3000]

Is it unwelcome when your husband does it? I wonder if most people feel that way then

[SaoirseS]

My husband doesn't do it; he never has, and the topic has never had to be addressed. It's just like with pregnant women tolerating having their bellies felt, they put up with it but many tell me they'd rather people other than their significant others or family didn't do it - they just choose not to make an issue of it. I think there's a difference between putting up with someone putting their hand on a belly through clothing and grabbing, lifting, squeezing, and throwing someone around. Having put up with it most of my life, I don't like it, and I tell people who take the liberty of doing that I don't. Fortunately, most people get the message and don't repeat it. Some realize I don't, but do it anyway to be cute, funny, or just because they like tormenting people. I've reached the point in life where I don't give a string of warnings or plea for someone to stop; they get one warning, if they disregard it, they risk getting hurt.

[bamesjond0069]

Because most men find it sexy to be much stronger than needed to manhandle their girl. And most women find a man who is strong enough to toss them around hot. you're the one here with a strange preference. I think many petite women dont like strangers to do it but a man you're dating? Id run 🏃‍♂️ or tell my friend to run... if we were dating you and you freaked out over it.

[Apple1996]

Yess exactly with strangers is weird but I absolutely love when my husband carries me around soo sexy for him to show off his strength

[SaoirseS]

Being able to lift a woman under 90 lbs isn’t really all that an impressive feat of strength. If you want to impress me, go lift the 275lb bonbon Queen stuffing her face at Dairy Queen.

[KitsuneFoxSpirit]

@SaoirseS - don't listen to Bames. Most decent women don't like to be manhandled. Tramps with no respect sure but then... they've no standards.

And you're right lifting 90lbs is nothing. When I was in the military I used to do 130-170lbs as a bench press. So for a guy to get that excited is pretty damn dorky.

[SaoirseS]

@KitsuneFoxSpirit. I know opinions vary, and I'm not bothered by it. He can write what he thinks, it's only an opinion. I don't have to agree with it, and obviously I don't.

[bamesjond0069]

@KitsuneFoxSpirit clearly knows all about trashy skanks seeing as she clearly is one herself to come on the post only to sling names at
@Apple1996 a married woman who on topic says she enjoys being picked up by her husband. Smh.

[KitsuneFoxSpirit]

@bamesjond0069 - you've posted on others posts that proves all you know is sluts with no standards. What's the problem, don't like being called out for it?

[SaoirseS]

Some may like, some may not. I fall in the latter category.

[Apple1996]

@KitsuneFoxSpirit I don't understand how wanting to be carried around makes someone have no standards

[KitsuneFoxSpirit]

@Apple1996 Was I talking to you?

[bamesjond0069]

@KitsuneFoxSpirit i dont need to go to any other posts to see your rude nonsense when you provided an example right here.

[Apple1996]

@KitsuneFoxSpirit nah but I'm curious as to why you think that?

[bamesjond0069]

@KitsuneFoxSpirit she's too much of a lady but if you say people in green sneakers are disgusting pos and should die... in front of someone with green sneaks on... no shit you're talking about them whether its to them or not.

[bigpauly]

I imagine not to the same extent, but it happens when you’re a short skinny guy too

[SaoirseS]

I can well imagine! The struggle is real!

[bigpauly]

Right, people have no respect!

[IceCreamSandwich]

That sounds incredibly annoying and unwelcome. I would hope they are at least your friend and are trying to annoy you. I can't imagine having a random person pick me up that's just ridiculous.

[SaoirseS]

It's usually a friend or someone more than just a casual acquaintance.

[IceCreamSandwich]

Well that's better than it could be then. Still not good though they sound like kinda selfish friends..

[SaoirseS]

Knuckleheads.

[Gent207]

You know legally that's an assault and you can kick them in the balls and claim self-defense, right?

[SaoirseS]

Yes, I can. I'd rather it not escalate to that, but always an option.

[Gent207]

@SaoirseS
I'm sorry that keeps happening to you.

[exitseven]

I used to carry my exGF over my shoulder. She was 5'3" and was 130lbs. She used to like it.

[ChiTown33]

No clue as to what you're talking about. I don't think I've ever done that.

[Jamie05rhs]

Because they don't understand bodily autonomy and personal boundaries.

[driven159]

No but have little women jump om my back to get piggyback ride

[EmbraceThePain]

Oh my god, you absolute munchkin

[SaoirseS]

I was born this way, but it's unwise to underestimate me.

Pick me up, and I will fuck you up.

[EmbraceThePain]

Fuck yeah you will

[Wise4myage]

Next time it happens, slap the guy.

[BLP11520]

Stupid but they do it