This strange guy from pub likes me and i'm not sure why and not interested?

[Anonymous]

i'm not entirely sure what's up with him and this post isn't meant to be anti LGBTQ more trying to resolve this situation without upsetting anyone

he's already tried talking to me once and fortuently some of the girls who worked there recused me and talked to him although they didn't seem to specifically mention to him that i wasn't interested and not even gay. and so he's still lurking around

i've never actually seen him with another guy but sometimes he dresses in women's clothing or outfits which are half and half. he seems like a nice person but i'm just not interested and not even sure why he felt i'd be interested in him , not sure what signs there could of possibly been as we had never even meet or talked there

any ideas? do i have to talk to him or one of the girls there talk to him

[anylolone]

Just be honest, it's not your fault he's a self-hating cunt and hasn't learned to love who loves him.

Tell him "you are too nice to be an incel, go chase an interested gay dude instead."

It's a fun thing, but gay dudes also can be "chad widows" (as well, as straight dudes can be stacy widows, and lesbians)

Oh, don't give much of a fuck, it's completely self-inflicted, fucker likely could be married right now.

Remember, you can't make all chad widows happy at the same time, so you shouldn't even feel guilty for not doing it. It's their responsibility to search for love where they can find it. (same as you, but you know that.)

In his mind, if he can get someone who doesn't want to fuck him, then he's worth it. That's not how it works, but that's how he thinks.

A shit ton of gay dudes get loads of sex just by pretending to be straight because a sucker is born every day.

[Asker]

i have no idea why he acts the way he does , i'm sure there has been other gay people at our pub over the years but much less open about it. the way he goes about it is just really weird

can't even imagine what we'd have in common other than we go to the same pub , male and live in the same area.

[anylolone]

The thing you have in common with him is that you don't want to fuck him.
lol!

Relax, be a good friend and break that simping behavior from him by being honest, maybe a bit harsh, ideally not but we don't always get ideal...

[Asker]

i don't even know what i'd say at this point

you think that he doesn't like himself? he seems pretty open about who he is , maybe too open for our area , is other gay people here but not necessary like him

[anylolone]

It's more common than you think, liking yourself, gosh even just being comfortable with yourself is hard as fuck.

But, get this, you can help him on his journey of self discovery and self acceptance... unlikely to work but when it does, it's very rewarding.

I have my list of chad widows, but I also have a list of chicks and dudes I help grow beyond my sorry ass to their fullest potential, and with someone who really loved them...

Oh, by the way, the way he's more open may have something to do with it, it may be him compensating for his own insecurities by overdoing it.
If he's able to grow past it, it can be a thing of beauty!
A "fake it until you make it" kind of situation to inspire the crowds!

[Asker]

i agree there might be something more going on with this dude but i'm not a therapist interested in helping him on his life journey. just don't want him around me at the pub , we have nothing in common and i'm definitly not interested in doing anything with him outside of it

[anylolone]

That's all you need to know.

You don't want him and there's people who do, dudes who do.
It's that easy. All he needs is to value who value him and his life will be way better.

[Asker]

well true he'd be way happier with a gay dude who's into the same things he is , you'd think he'd be smart enough to realise i'm obviously not that person. which is why i'm confused as to why he'd want anything to do with me.

i'm sure he's been to actual gay bars in the big city and actually picked up dudes there

[SecretsofKB]

Doesn't matter why he is interested in you. You are not interested in him, and the best way to get him to stop is to tell him that.

This is coming from a gay woman by the way.

[Asker]

i know you think he'd get the hint , i'm not entirely sure what i did to generate his interest , we've never meet and never talked there , i can only recall seeing him from a distance at the bar