When a guys says he is too busy to reply.. does that mean he isn't interested?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy 1 year ago but sadly due to my school and graduation we decided to keep talking and then he will move with me or I move with him. Depending on how things will go. That’s the plan. So it’s a long distance relation. The country this guy lives his job is demanding. But communication was constant and regular. Recently it takes him day to reply. He even messaged me ( you can see the screenshot ) that he is busy to reply but he will get a vacation soon..

I’am not sure if this guy is trying to slowly make me realize he isn’t interested because he can’t say so? I don't know what to think but I’m very sad ! I really liked this guy. It seems like he isn’t interested… I better delete him at this point.

[coachTanthony]

I think women get this confused. Men can reply. They just can't keep replying all day because they are busy. So when a man does reply women expect them to KEEP replying and that just isn't going to happen. So when a man picks up on this he simply just doesn't reply at all until he can talk to you for a bit.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Ironically I get that from men, I reply and when I don't reply they get mad that I'm not continuing to reply.

[coachTanthony]

@Aerissa_Jade That's a needy man you talking too.

[Bob92220]

I have a similar situation as yours and I still don't know what to think of it.

I reconnected with a female college friend online. She lives 2,000 miles from me. She said she wants to be friends and write back and forth, via email. No phone calls or texting. She tells me when I write her an email she will respond back in several weeks or so.

I assume she is too busy to reply back sooner. But why even have that type of relationship then? I don't know what your friend is implying and I don't know what my friend is implying.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Eh, depends.

Maybe it was just a one off or he doesn't want to distract himself during the week while you're still not really involved.

He did reach out when he said he would, and I understand the busyness of trying to get your work lined up before a vacation. I often put in extra time before a vacay to make sure it's easier for me when I return.

I'd ask him why he didn't want to text while at work, but be gentle and tactful in your ask. Take a curious tone versus a demanding one.

[Sorrento-Sun]

It takes literally seconds to send a message. If someone really wants you in their life, they'll always make time for you to let you know you're important to them.

If they make an excuse like they're "too busy" , it means you aren't as important to them as you think you are.

[Bob92220]

If it means that you aren't that important, then why would he even want to keep in contact? If he is that busy then he doesn't need "time to kill." He has better things to do.

[MzAsh]

Do you really want to be with a guy who REPLIED that he’s “too busy to reply” ? What a silly goose that guy is. 😆 “hey here’s a reply about how I’m too busy to reply” geez Louise. You’re simply not a priority and he’s too chicken shit to say it. you can do better than this.

[Exterminatore]

Excellent point!

[Clyde_123]

💯..

[Anonymous]

W out reading your whole post yes he’s not that interested. I don’t care how busy a man is if he’s interested he will respond. He will cancel an outing w his boys if it meant getting to be w you. I’ve driven a few hours just to be w a girl I was really into. At some point he’s sleeping, eating, showering, etc. There’s always time to text or call, he just chooses not to cause he’s not that interested. I have friends who are doctors, one of the busiest professions but they still reply. Either he met someone else or he’s not interested in a relationship ship right now. I hate to point this out as well but age wise he may not be interested.

[Anonymous]

Well it looks like he followed up like he said he would.

I think women believe that guys might give this bs excuse to girls women themselves often do this crap to guys. They will blow them off yet don’t want to completely cut the rope. Reason being is they don’t want the attention going away and want to keep the guy as an “orbiter” just in case they need them for something.

Guys are much less likely to do that crap. Especially guys past the age of 30. I would take what he says at face value. Most men don’t send mixed messages the same way men do.

[Justarandomsadguy]

Long distance relationships are always hard cos you don't know what or how they are dealing with their life. And it is easy assume that he/she has lost interest cos they don't talk with u the way they used to. It's completely fine to have these kinds doubts and feelings especially if it's someone you love cos deep within you crave their attention, you need reassurances from them and constant pampering. I don't think anyone's too busy for anything actually. It just depends on where you stand in his/her priority list. So I think if I were you, I'd ask him the question you mentioned. Sometimes you just have to open up with ur partner and tell him whatever it is that you are feeling or u need and probably figure out together. Mutual respect. If he ain't sure about you even after that, it's better you move on.

[Thatbaldguy]

In my opinion? Yup. No one is so busy that can’t send a quick text. Even if that text is simply saying “ busy now. Text you later “ or “get back to you later “ something. I work a very busy job. Sometimes so much so that i can’t go to the bathroom, eat lunch, and i keep an over sized water bottle at my desk because many times i can’t get away to refill it for hours. Yet i always manage to reply to those that are important to me. Even if it’s to say I’m busy and will contact later.

[Smoothing]

You live in two different countries with two different time zones. If you look at the globe, you are almost at opposite sides. That alone presents an enormous challenge.

He is working therefore during his work hours personal communication can be a challenge.

.

[Smoothing]

Considering you have been communicating well until this time, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. I understand that women often demand a lot of communication from guys and I understand that you might be feeling a little empty with less communication during this period when his work load has shit up.

Before you cast him away with the so common excuse that guys will always create time, put yourself in his position.

It looks for me that he is already creating the time. This is one of the tests of long distance relationships. You want it to work, understand that the word compromise will be at the center of your relationship if ut us to be a healthy one.

And also, you are under 35. You are still young. I would bend over backwards for any 30 year old woman that likes me and treats me right.

That maturity is one of the most attractive quality I find. As opposed to a 20 year old girl whose emotions and decision making swings from Los Angeles to London to Berlin to Cape Town to Cairo to Tokyo to Sydne all in the span of 5 seconds

[Massageman]

Isn't it a pity that we even have to ASK these questions? As in, wouldn't it be nice if we could all just depend on the other speaking the truth and let it go at that? Like when a deal could be struck on the strength of a handshake?

I guess I'm about a century too late.

He may not want to (all at once , everyone) "hurt her feelings" , so he just skirts the issue.

[TheoPfeifle]

I've always been of the mindset that a person makes time for what they think is important. Anytime I'm trying to date a woman and she says she's busy, it means I'm less important than whatever else is occupying her time. No point in getting upset or confrontational about it... I simply let that connection fade... Or she has the ability to reach out and reinforce the connection. It is simply what it is.

[FilmGuy93]

He sounds interested to me. I think he’s just genuinely busy right now.

[Asker]

Considering we are in opiate continents too he is in Japan im studying in US! Might be hard.. but we were able to talk about this. I’m clear now and I understand him. It never happened before he also said he is sorry he didn’t meant to worry me this much

[Asker]

Opposite **

[BlueScorpio]

Yes he's busy, plus your long distance so schedules conflict with each other. Honestly this why long distance doesn't work for a lot people. I think the both of you would be better off finding someone in your area.

[Asker]

I know it’s very hard I honestly understand why people say this. But I thought oh well we have a clear plan we decided I go there or he comes here , so it will work out. Why I’m staying in the US is so I can graduate the upper master degree I started. We actually firstly met back in 2020. So it’s been since 2020 in contact daily. BUT in 2021 I told him I like him he said he felt the same and we decided to keep contacting each other. He also came to meet me a few times but covid hit badly and Japan got locked down badly. I’m 30 he is already 34 and his job is very demanding it’s true 8AM to 9pm recently he wants to make overtime so he can buy his house. Sorry long message I am writing a lot~ but your reply send more sincere. 🥺 so I followed a suggestion to ask him directly why he is delaying messages etc he said “ he will never stop contacting me but he has been busy he said when I go home I take a shower I sleep. And same thing next day ~ plus he is taking intensive English class to improve his English. So far he has never ghosted me meaning I never got a reply to this day. The change I see is him taking days to reply.. and the weird message I got is the one I uploaded here. That’s why I asked this qs!!

[dynamicyandere]

Sorry to break it to you. But, you’re not a priority to him.


I’ve worked 18-hour days and STILL made time for my LDR.


If he loves you… If he doesn’t have time, he will MAKE time.

[Tornado92]

No one wants old Karen like u!!!

We want hot sexy 21 year old woman young !!!

Not old grandma n u is a. grandma!!!

[Asker]

Ok.. got it

[Anonymous]

Of course it does. Do you think he'd be "too busy" to reply if he was chatting with this girl?

All of a sudden he wasn't "too busy"

But a better question is, why on EARTH you'd be in a distance "relationship" for a full year?

[Pinay_ako]

Honey, just move on. If there’s a will, there’s always a way. No excuses!

[dynamicyandere]

True. If he doesn’t have time, he will MAKE time.

[Pinay_ako]

@dynamicyandere same with women. If they’re interested, the world could be ending and they will make a way for you

[dynamicyandere]

Exactly. 😊

[Aerissa_Jade]

Probably not interested, if he was he'd make time, at least once or twice a day. Not necessarily all day conversations, but if he is out of area on vacation, that makes sense too.

[Zodiac10]

Seems to me he's communicating. He's letting you know when he's unavailable instead of disappearing which leads me to believe he's interested because he cares enough to let you know why he will be unavailable so you don't think he's not interested...

[TroyDT]

Pretty much. If someone is interested he will make you a priority. Now, there MIGHT be some circumstances - an illness in the family or other dire emergency - when he could be too busy. But if this is consistent, yeah, he isn't into you.

[ChooChooHaha]

Unless he's a gov. officer or something... yes.

[burlen]

I’m afraid, he is definitely not interested.

[Anonymous]

I'll purposely take 2-3 hours to reply if it seems like someone's trying to have a whole conversation with me through text. It's so time consuming, just call me

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

When people are in two different countries sometimes when things start going sour it's best to move on

[ochitougly]

If he’s your boyfriend and he is taking a day to replay… he isn’t your boyfriend…

[Straight2thepoint]

Ask him through voice not text. If he struggles to answer. Then it's what I think. That he isn't interested in u. Then move on. If he say, busy. Then he is busy. Nothing to it.

[Exterminatore]

Yeah or at least fairly uninterested seeing as he’s got no time to get back to you.


If it were me and this were a girl I’d drop her.

[SolitarySolace]

I’d you told a guy you were too busy to reply, would that mean you aren’t interested?


There’s your answer.

[Literalbillionaire17]

Eww why did he write those messages so professional 😂 honestly I think with this he actually was just too busy to respond.

[John_Doesnt]

He clearly said that he has work. Men have jobs and women spend our money.

[Shy_Steve]

No, Most of us Guys usually find it Boring Conversing on a Phone wether it be text or a Phone call, We rather just talk to you in person.

[Snakeyes7]

With that much of a gap, I have no idea whether he is actually interested or not.

[MiseriaCantareAFI]

Girls say that a lot

Usually when they're "being paid" to talk to you, only

[tvkacey1423]

Not necessarily. 50% of the time it means he's busy lol

[whistlingwh0res]

he is just not into you

[EaterPeter]

I could tell if I am that guy

[EaterPeter]

Tell only if *

[In_Trance]

Correct, not interested

[ilgirl89]

He is probably in bed with someone else

[TheCougarHunter]

Yes!