Why did he get a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

One of my male colleagues/friend developed some serious feelings for one of our female coworkers. He does everything you can think of that would give away how he feels about her - despite his best efforts; the hopelessly gazing into her eyes, they way his voice completely changes when he talks to her/about her the list goes on and as far as I can see she likes him too. Recently she's become very short with him, avoiding him even going so far to have her workspace moved to another department to clearly create a distance that there was previously no desire for – He got a girlfriend.

Short version: he was sent out on location a few times to that province/state every other month for no more then two/three days at a time and apparently within a span of two months they: met, became exclusive, went on a romantic destination vacation, and she (the new girl) quit her job and moved out of her apartment and into his place 1,893 km away. You read that correctly they only knew each other for two months. The girl we work with if you were wondering, he’s known her for three years.

You would think now that he is no longer single that his energy and effort towards my colleague would have weathered but that hasn’t been the case and made worse by fact he had been keeping it from her for some time until apparently it slipped out one day and she’s been pretty peeved ever since. He won't leave her alone and will find any reason to be around her, but she isn’t having any of it, she’s pissed and rightfully so.

From my perspective it appeared as though they two were heating up, she was being lead on, she was being given the impression (in all honesty all of us were) there was real romantic interest there and yet he jumps head first into a new relationship with what appears to have been a complete stranger? I have caught myself feeling in such a way towards him, but I understand that isn’t fair so I am trying to understand from his perspective which essentially leads to my question..

[quaranta]

Probably he got a night of passion with this new girl, rushed things as hell to get a serious relationship with her, and now is starting to question if this was just a fling. Rushed couples can often crumble in a rushed way as well.
If he is still actually interested in your colleague, and he isn't actually sure of his current relationship, then he revealed a poor tendency to take responsibilities and immaturity because it's obvious rushed things can't just magically work (it's all gamble) and he didn't take the responsibility to give at least a sort of closure to the colleague when things were obvious (if they were), doesn't respect her natural need of space, neither takes responsibility to close the relationship he has if it isn't working and if he still wants the colleague. I think he is doing random things depending on where his dick is pointing, without caring much about the effects of his decisions.
If he is still in the relationship and is actively flirting with your colleague still, then this is also showing what she can expect if they get together (he would freely flirt with others, or with this girlfriend when she will be an ex, etc). If these assumptions are true then this is definitely not a good pick because to have a good relationship you need trust and respect and here the foundations of that are erased, so she is right in doing resistance against his non-sense inputs.

Said that, though, since they were not official or exclusive, he had all the rights to find a girlfriend elsewhere, but did bad at managing the situation (created by his own choices), both as moral and as maturity. The natural consequence of his decisions are that the colleague takes her safe space by herself and he must at least respect that. She should defend her space at this point, if he isn't respecting her, and firmly telling him to leave her alone because it obstacles her recovering.
Make sure she doesn't give him another chance because if she rewards him with reciprocation it's like setting the rule that he can break her trust any time and it's okay for her afterall, and that he can pick her back any time as well without consequences. Those wouldn't be healthy roles and rules to start anything.

[Summeroflove]

He’s just being a creep. Not everyone is going to be into your find someone who is. Which he did. I feel bad for his girlfriend too

[Guy13]

One can not makeup the mind of another in relationships. He did what he thought was best. You might ask him this question.🤷🏻‍♂️

[ViceGAG]

I don’t see the problem, The guy didn’t lead her on and he wasn’t wrong for getting into a relationship.

[Avicenna]

He went for what he felt was the best deal

[Asker]

In my mind you make a move or you move on, he made the choice to move on. He took himself out of the equation. So why won't he leave her alone if she wasn't the 'best deal'?

[Avicenna]

Only he knows for sure. Maybe he's keeping her on the back burner. Or so he thinks.

[In_Trance]

I see no issue here