I work in a heavily male-dominated field to the point that even in 2022, I am among the first wave of women in my industry. I spend a lot of time almost exclusively with male project managers and engineers. I'm a somewhat recent college grad (< 1 year) and blonde.
I strive to connect with my coworkers on a personal level, but most of the time they see it as romantic. (I've learned to call it out when it borders on sexual, which there's no excuse for that.)
It also doesn't help that they have to teach me quite a few things, because what we do involves many tasks guys grew up doing in their garages with their dads, while I never learned those skills. They usually get really intimate when they teach me, which sucks because I want to (and have to) learn, but then they get strange. They'll get really close, they'll smile, their eyes will dilate, they'll look at my lips, etc.
They coddle me and do favors for me constantly. It's like one will swoop in and be Tarzan, and the other ones will be like, "There she goes again! Someone doing her bidding." (But five minutes later, they'll be the one doing the swooping.)
I actively ask them to not help me, but they do. They'll make comments about my appearance, make advances, and insinuate that they'd like to come visit me when I make the trip over to company headquarters.
And then sometimes, when I ignore their advances or don't respond when they ask me out, they'll get cold and distant. They've gone so far as to sabotage me when I am just trying to do my job without complications.
It's a really strange dichotomy. Would I like to foster connections with and encourage connections between my colleagues? Of course. My industry would do much better with a team atmosphere.
Do I want to sleep with them? Definitely not. (I'm in a committed relationship and wear a ring. They don't care.)
As guys, how do you suggest I navigate this situation? Thank you. 😊
