I need an honest opinion - why doesn't he want to let me know about his dates?

[Cali86]

I was seeing a guy and it got pretty serious to the point we loved each other. But we decided that it wouldn't work and we'll be friends. We still talk to each other.

He started dating again but he was hesitant to tell me. I figured it out and asked him about his date. I was genuinely curious on how it went and open to talking to him about it since we're friends now. He didn't like that idea. He doesn't want to talk to me about his dates which I couldn't understand. He said he doesn't want to hear if I ever went on one either.

I just can't understand why he wouldn't want to talk about it with me? I'm not jealous. If anything I was being supportive of him and his dates. So I need guys insight as to why he doesn't want to share that with me.

[DaveJord]

Yeah, from guys prospective its bull shit. If you honestly cared about him as a friend, you would done more to have made your relationship with him work. So he doesn't want to talk to you about j8s current relationships.

He will not admit it, but he doesn't veiw you as a friend. He veiws you as and ex-girlfriend, that he would of liked to have made it work with. A girl that if sge could ave accepted him would worked, but didn't, and then rejected him. Thats the 100% truth, and he doesn't want you anywhere near his current relationships. And doesn't want your advice

So respect his boundaries, or do even better by him and GET THE FUCK out of his LIFE. You had your chance and waved it off, so go fuck off and let this guy move on without you.

[DaveJord]

That's a nice way if saying your friendship has no value to him. You had your chance an blow it, so he's moving on.

[Cali86]

I tried to make it work but it we just knew we couldn't be together.
I am just trying to move to our friendship stage.
He did briefly talk about his date but when he did he kept comparing it to our dates. Comparing how well ours would go compared to his current date.
Why reminisce that?

[DaveJord]

See you talk in we, but there no we. There's a you and then there's a him. Get over it and let this guy go. Quit trying ylto be apart of this life, there's no we.

Your just trying to claim friendship, but honestly your just not letting go or moving on, when he definitely is.

[Cali86]

So are you saying I should just stop talking to him or stop trying to be friends with him?

[DaveJord]

If youbcare about him, and honestly have no intentions of being in a romantic relationship with him, then... ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

He never wanted to be your friend. Not in the non-romamtic way. He wanted to date you and love you, but for whatever reason thst did not work out for you. Sure he agreed to be your friend, but that was only in hope to you'd come around and truly appreciate him.

But if you're a real friend now, you'll respect his boundaries and let him move on. Its really up to him, and not you, if he wants to maintain any friendship.

[DeltaRecon]

He probably wanted to be more than just friends. Moving on from a serious relationship isn’t just a snap of the fingers like your making it out to be.

He probably isn’t telling you much of his date because he respects you enough not to hurt your feelings and he sure doesn’t want to hear about any date you went on. He is trying to move on while your still trying to get involved in his life like when you both were dating.

You gotta either let him go or try to make it work again.

[DaveJord]

you'll nailed it brother!! 👏 👏

[Cali86]

But my feelings won't be hurt if he tells me about his dates. I'm supportive and encouraging. Because he said something similar to what you said - he wouldn't want to hear about my dates. But that's on him. I don't mind hearing about his. So I'm encouraging him moving on. So I don't get it in the respect.

And I want to make it work but it was a mutual decision that it just wouldn't.

[DeltaRecon]

He doesn’t want to hear it or tell you. I don’t want to hear about the dates or guys my ex fucked after we broke up. It would make me feel like I wasn’t good enough for her but these other guys were. He probably still has feelings for you even though he is dating other people. Talking about relationships with someone you had a relationship not only feels awkward and wrong but also is disrespectful of how that other person may feel regardless of how they may feel. It also makes him feel like a smuck to make you feel worthless and this other girl is better to be with

[Cali86]

I still don't get it. Dating other people is part of moving on and I recognize that. And since he wants to keep as friends then this is something he'll have to get comfortable talking to me about.
I already told him I won't talk about any of my dates since he said he doesn't want to hear about any of it. But I told him he can confide in me, I'm ok with it.

[DeltaRecon]

And on top of that. This “friendship” will end if he does get in a serious relationship. Because it is not right and would probably feel disrespectful to whomever he is in a serious relationship to still be “friends” with his ex. The fact that he is still talking to you means the door is still open. Once he is no longer just dating and is in a serious relationship with someone else you will probably won’t hear from him anymore and will not talk to you out of respect of his new relationship.

[Cali86]

This I understand and I get.

[ConfusedGirl100]

Simple answer because it's none of your business and probably because he might be a bit annoyed knowing things with you both didn't work out.

[Cali86]

Well it's what's going on in his life now.
And I guess I'm more annoyed because if he's dating then I should exit the picture but he's not acting that way. He's still talking to me and being nice as if we were still together

[ConfusedGirl100]

Dating is very different to being in a relationship. Dating is basically having fun with someone. I'm sure if you keep in contact and stay friends the very moment he finds a girlfriend and get into a relationship he will tell you but right now, Dating is nothing serious, so he doesn't feel the need to tell you.

[DaveJord]

Nah, that's bull shit. If want to date him tge she needs to tell him that right noe a s strive as hard as possible to make it work.

If not she needs to butt out of this guy's life and move on without him. Tell her the truth @confusedGirl100

[ConfusedGirl100]

@DaveJord Did I ask for your opinion? Not I didn't so buzz off.

[spartan55]

What could possibly be the upside for him to tell you about that?

[Cali86]

Upside of sharing his dates with me?
He can talk about to someone about the dates and if they went well or not. See if the person he went on a date with was a success? Things you share with a friend after a date

[spartan55]

Haha... uh that's pretty unrealistic of you to think that. To him it likely seems you are just being nosey.

[Cali86]

Why nosey? We are friends now. That's what friends do, they talk.

[spartan55]

Na, you can't go from being in love to being friends... that's not realistic. Like I said, there is zero upside for him to talk to you about it. If he wants to talk about it AT ALL, he will share with someone else.

[Cali86]

So what do we talk about then? That's going to be a big part of his life if he tries to date. If we talk do we just ignore it

[spartan55]

I wouldn't expect your 'friendship' with him to last

[DaveJord]

@Cali86 seriously girl, if wanted to play this part or have this role in his life you would of tried harder to make it work when you had the chance to date him yourself. LET THIS GUY GO, and move on.

[Cali86]

@DaveJord I did try hard! I would've tried it all but he also agreed with the difficulty of us being together.

[In_Trance]

because he feels it's none of your business