I asked him how he was doing and he dropped his stress on me?

Question

I sent him a message asking how he was doing. He responded, "Hey! Not doing great if I'm being honest."

He started telling me that his job is really stressful and he's just tired all the time. It's really just stressing him out. A friend of mine said that even though we haven't spoken in awhile, he must really trust me if he laid it all out on me like that. Another friend said that he was rude to do that and is just using me.

I would agree with my second friend, however, my crush did ask a lot about me as well and was clearly interested in my life (questions, jokes, etc). We weren't just talking about him.

The last time we spoke was over the summer. He had just graduated and started his new job. We didn't talk a whole lot then and the conversation wasn't as deep as this one got. I don't know, I feel like maybe he was under a lot of stress and since I asked how he was, he let me know lol.

Coming here for other opinions :)

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

Is this a real question?

Don't ever ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer.
You asked your question to him; he gave you the answer.

Whoever this friend is: "Another friend said that he was rude to do that and is just using me."
Get rid of them. They are an idiot.

As for why I asked if this is a real question, I am shocked - as in "Are you fucking kidding me? And you are FEMALE?"

Females do that all the fucking time: They just want to whine bitch and moan about their problems - which is exactly what you did asking your two friends and asking this question here. Women want to be HEARD. They don't want actual solutions to their problems which is what men have a tendency to give. They just want to be heard.

So, when a man does the same thing like your whiny male friend just did when "he dropped his stress on" you, how do you not empathize? I am shocked.

aaron210419 · Accepted Answer

This is why men don't usually share their troubles with women very often, we know that when we're asked how we're doing its not because they really want to know. Otherwise it gets turned around as if we're weak or like in this instance somehow he's using you? Maybe he's just inexperienced and thought when you asked how he was doing he thought you actually wanted to hear his he was doing. I'm sure he'll realize soon that's not the case as we all do.

NavyblueTacos · Accepted Answer

This is ridiculous. Your second friend is an idiot. You asked him how he was doing, and he responded, if it takes nothing more than that, for you to feel used, you need to take a long walk

Dinklex3 · Accepted Answer

I'm confused... You asked how he was doing. He told you. Did you ask him without really caring? What exactly do you want opinions on?

Anonymous · Answer

So you feel as though he was using you because he told you how he was really feeling? Lol hmmmm I don’t see that as being used. You asked, he told. So now he’s the bad person? I don’t see anything wrong about that at all. Maybe you listening saved him from doing something stupid that day. It’s good just to have someone listen even if things are fixed at that time.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

You asked him how he’s doing and he answered the question

UniquelyBasic · Answer

He trauma dumped on you

Anonymous · Answer

He answered your question

In_Trance · Answer

Next time don't ask.

I asked him how he was doing and he dropped his stress on me?

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