Asking for clarity again?

[Anonymous]

for sometime this yr i was involved with a guy and recently expressed that i’d like to continue seeing him non exclusively. he asked for time to think about it, we never discussed it again, we also never met up again but continued talking everyday. he started to pull away, and i reached out and asked if everything was ok. he said “i’m happy to continue talking/hanging out i’m just crazy busy” and apologized for being distant. i realized that was his way of letting me down and later that same week i asked him to meet up over coffee for closure as i didn’t want to end things on a bad note (i genuinely grew to care about him). we met up today, he apologized for leading me on, told me he wasn’t interested in a sexual relationship and only wanted something casual. he said he hopes we run into each other again and asked to stay in touch. i wasn’t expecting him to say that and stayed quiet for most of the meetup bc of that. i messaged him shortly after asking if we could schedule a call so that i could get some things off my chest as well especially now that i’ve processed where he stands and he agreed. i grew to really like him and feel like i pressured him into something he wasn’t comfortable with. i’m confused on what he meant by wanting casual when that’s what i initially expressed to him. i can’t seem to let this go

Updates

+1 y

does he actually want to stay in touch, or is that his way of keeping me on the back burner? i genuinely can’t tell if he meant it or was simply trying to let me down easily

Updates

+1 y

I don't know if i should ask if he still wants to continue casually or if its over

[SueShe]

I always have my issues when someone states that a relationship is "non exclusive". To me, that signifies that fornication is all what it boils down to and that this person is only needed for that purpose.

This guy has realized that this is basically only what he was required to do and that is why he mentioned that he only wants to remain casual. In my eyes, this word "casual" signifies that for the time being, he wants to remain friends without any kind of sexual benefits, just as normal friends should actually be.

This "non exclusivity" pact seems to be an issue for him and he may perhaps have wanted more than just that. The descriptive is not clear enough to determine who was the one wanting an exclusive relationship. My gut feeling tells me that it was you that wanted to keep a certain freedom.

I understand that he is fine just to remain friends without any physical interaction.

[Asker]

i’m realizing i only brought that to his attention because i assumed that’s all he wanted with me. he would only ever agree to meet up when something physical was expected. i guess i said it as a way to not lose him. i was beginning to develop feelings for him at that point and was willing to meet him on whatever page he was on to keep seeing him.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he only wants a kind of friends with benefits situation.

[Asker]

that’s the impression i’ve been getting from him, but then today he said didn’t/doesn’t want a sexual relationship

[Guy13]

Sounds like relationship is absent long term possibilities

[Avicenna]

If that what you need to move on, then ask for clarity