Guys, I found this picture of me, on my son's phone, not sure how to approach him?

[singlemombizz]

[SteveSmith1985]

I am at a loss... in a way that I've never been in answering questions on here. This is... difficult to advise somebody on.

So, first... lets make clear what we're talking about here. This is a sexual picture. That's the reason it exists. That's the motivation in his having it.

And that is inherently... awkward and disturbing.

Now, full disclosure... I do not understand guys who in any way see their mother sexually. It does not compute for me... I do not get it. I do not think it's normal. But my poking around the darker corners of the internet has led me to conclude that it's not as uncommon as I would like to think. At least so far as fantasy is concerned. Whether it's a fantasy that these guys actually want to act on in any way (actually interacting sexually with their mother in real life) or if it's fantasy only... I really have no idea.

Now, just to really ruin your day... I need to bring up another... at least equally likely possibility... that's different... but... no less... unsettling.

Now, some guys seem to have the straight-up sexual-mother fantasy. But... what also exists are guys who would enjoy showing a sexy picture of their mother (or sister etc.) and ask guys to tell him how they'd degrade and fuck her... not-nicely.

I only mention it because if you do confront him... you should probably be aware that's a possibility.

I don't know if... you even should approach him. It depends on how you feel about it. If you want to approach him... like as a woman who feel violated by his having taken and kept that picture... then I fully understand that... and you absolutely should.

If however, you're approaching him more in a "parental intervention and guidance" kind of place... I don't know that it's going to be helpful.

It depends how you feel. But if you do approach him, I don't think there's any real "right" way to do it. This isn't something where if you handle it with the proper delicacy... you can help him with troubling behavior/thoughts without embarrassing him, or traumatizing him. This is going to be embarrassing and traumatic in the extreme... but It's both of those things for you as well.

I think the question is "approach him to what end?" What is it you are hoping to accomplish by approaching him exactly?

How do you predict the conversation likely going? Are you going to push him to admit the truth when he gives you some bullshit story? Are you going to push him to admit what this REALLY is? Why he REALLY has this picture? And if you do... how do you feel about forcing that admission? Are you ready to HEAR that? Are you ready to TALK about that? Do you know what you're going to SAY to that?

Because approaching him about this... will result in him lying. For sure.

At that point, you either have to accept the lie, and drop it (leaving things weird for both of you since... everyone knows what's happening).

Or

You have to push him to admit something out-loud that can't be unsaid. If he admits that under duress because you're pushing him to... how do you forsee the rest of that conversation going? Where would you hope to stear that conversation to? Are you looking for an apology? Do you want to get him to see that it's wrong to take secret pictures of someone? Do you want to get him to agree to therapy? Do you just want it to stop? What's the POINT (I'm not saying there isn't one. Not at all. Only that you need to know WHAT that point is...)

Otherwise you shouldn't approach him about this. Let it stay weird for only you. And let it be ONLY this weird for you. I don't think you really want to talk about this with him to be honest. I think it might be better for both of you for you to just... feel weird about it for the rest of your life (but let's be real... that's gonna happen no matter what. No approaching him talk... is going to make this less weird. Only more. Possibly way more.)

This is... a really difficult situation here. If you do decide to approach him. I guess you want to go straight-forward. No bullshit. But... don't do it, unless you have a good reason (you've got some goal for doing so)

[TheorionMage]

BEFORE you should approach HIM about that photo, you need FIRST be pragmatically honest TO YOURSELF about the hypocritical double standard of the society in which YOU were raised and... he IS being raised. YOU didn't conceive and give birth TO your son by dressing demurely with... and for... his father. Candidly YOU chose to appeal to THAT man's atavistic NATURAL appetites; the self-same NATURAL desire your son possesses as a virile young male.

In certain Afrikanz tribes, mothers quiet fussy infants orally and wet nurse their infants sometimes into their early YEARS. Condoned familial physical intimacy is a matter of accepted culture. Your 'son' is FIRST and foremost a human male... perhaps you SHOULD worry if he didn't experience some degree of sexual interest.

Speaking as a fellow human male with some greater experience (71 years old) in MY youth, two of my aunts were perspective 'hotties'; but, having acknowledged that... it went no further.

Co-terminously, your son is still in that "lookie what I GOT..." peer prestige age range and needs be reminded that YOU most likely possess equally discrete juvenile photos of HIM. "We aren't going to expose one another, are we?" I'm sure you have mixed feelings regarding your son's pride and acknowledgement that his Mom's a 'hottie'. But such confidences pragmatically should remain as familial confidences. Doubtless, you've each seen one another semi-dressed. MUTUAL discretion is appropriate.

[RavVid]

Hmmh. Awkward. In part it is because of what you are wearing for presumably a date. So I think you have to acknowledge that side of things.

I think you are best asking him why without putting any sexual connotation around it. If anything express annoyance at an inelegant pic of yourself.

On the why side. I have known boys to discuss another boy's mother who dressed sexy when she went out. Another boy tended to get in first wrt his sister by calling her a slut. Another boy disappointed in his father would disparage him.

It might be that he doesn't like what you are doing and it is something of a protest or to maintain his status with other boys.

If it is from disapproval of you I can see you have a problem.

[summiter]

How old is he? Does he have any other pics of you or other girls/women on it. I guess the best thing to do is ask him. If he is old enough to be jerking off do you think that is a possibly? Maybe his friends said you are a milf and he wants to brag or show off.

[smilelots]

Sit him down and ask what this is all about best to be upfront with him , maybe its for his friends , you won't know till you ask then tell him he needs to ask for you permission in the future if he is to talk pictures of you or anyone like that in the future.. dont be afraid to ask him.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Absolutely! Are you kidding? Go up to him right now and tell him that if he's gonna be taking pictures like that of his mom, then he needs to get behind you for a better angle

[AviatorTom]

Why say anything? That will only draw attention to it. It is, after all, a picture of you dressed for a hot date, no hiding that. Maybe you should be more careful in the future with what you wear and the positions you get in.

[molonski2]

How old is he? Just approach him directly and ask why would he possibly have that picture saved? Just tell him its not appropriate to be holding that photo.

[OfMiceandMen]

Just delete it, if he says anything just tell him it is inappropriate to take pictures of women/girls without their knowledge and consent.

[UncleBilll]

Very impressive, black panties, with a micro dress and hooker heels you must have been on quite a date. He may have wanted to bang you just like that.

[UncleBilll]

wow that really is nice

[Summeroflove]

If you wouldn’t make bad choices in your life that your poor kid now has to deal with

[talka20]

You're 30 as your gag profile says... so how old your son could be? Can u tell his age?